Asteroid To Destroy Earth Next Month

ElectroClaret · Post by **ElectroClaret** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:05 pm

Half mile wide asteroid been tracked by NASA and they say it'll miss us by 32 million miles.
However a Russian astronomer called Dr. Dyomin Zakharovich says they're lying
And it's on course for us and we're screwed.

So cancel the milk.

ClaretAndJew · Post by **ClaretAndJew** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:06 pm

NASA or one guy. Hmm

Rileybobs · Post by **Rileybobs** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:11 pm

I've just quit my job.

TheFamilyCat · Post by **TheFamilyCat** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:11 pm

No need to sweat over whether we sign Brady or not then.

randomclaret2 · Post by **randomclaret2** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:11 pm

Just our luck....we'll get to 38 points, and then life on earth will be obliterated...typical.

wickdkewlclaret · Post by **wickdkewlclaret** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:12 pm

I might have a fag.

gawthorpe_view · Post by **gawthorpe_view** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:12 pm

Won't bother renewing for season then.

TheFamilyCat · Post by **TheFamilyCat** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:12 pm

32 million miles. As close as a Dean Marney long shot.

Rileybobs · Post by **Rileybobs** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:13 pm

Just got 10/1 on SkyBet for this to happen, put a cheeky £20 on.

Funkydrummer · Post by **Funkydrummer** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:14 pm

Just when I was about to start walking football ! Not worth it now.

Goalposts · Post by **Goalposts** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:15 pm

typical sign brady ..look like staying up and pfff all gone in a blink

MACCA · Post by **MACCA** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:17 pm

Rileybobs wrote:Just got 10/1 on SkyBet for this to happen, put a cheeky £20 on.

Ha ha, how thick are you.

If we all blow up, how you going to collect your winnings??

Bookies love gamblers like you!!!

50 shades of Grey · Post by **50 shades of Grey** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:19 pm

Can we not fire that 'dustification' ray gun type thingy at it, and erm, dustify it. You know, the one some tin foil head was banging on about on the recent twin towers conspiracy thread.

BennyD · Post by **BennyD** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:20 pm

Jeez Macca, I heard the whoooosh from here!

MACCA · Post by **MACCA** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:22 pm

Not around for 4 months so doubt it.

If that was the case, how much have you put on?

COBBLE · Post by **COBBLE** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:24 pm

About as much chance of it hitting earth as there is of BFC spending £20.0m plus on a couple of players.

Lord Beamish · Post by **Lord Beamish** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:27 pm

Half a mile? I've sh!t bigger!

RandomBoroBloke · Post by **RandomBoroBloke** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:30 pm

This might count as a Burnley or Middlesbrough long ball :p

Down_Rover · Post by **Down_Rover** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:39 pm

Reckon anything half a mile wide will only make a small dent.

Probably enough to obliterate somewhere like Blackburn, Middlesbrough or arsene wingers house.

Now there's a real bet. Like to see him get his handbag out and push that one away

Zom Zom · Post by **Zom Zom** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:43 pm

This better be true. I quit my job and went round to the wife's sister's house and...

Funkydrummer · Post by **Funkydrummer** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:44 pm

"Probably enough to obliterate somewhere like Blackburn, Middlesbrough or arsene wingers house."

He will claim that he didn't see it anyway.

minnieclaret · Post by **minnieclaret** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:46 pm

Armageddon out of here. Send for Bruce Willis.

JohnMcGreal · Post by **JohnMcGreal** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:47 pm

SCAREMONGERING! STOP TALKING BRITAIN DOWN!

yorkyclaret · Post by **yorkyclaret** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:59 pm

Don't worry Keane will head it away.

dougcollins · Post by **dougcollins** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 9:51 pm

'NASA or one guy. Hmm'

I'd take a Russian astronomer over NASA.

Lancasterclaret · Post by **Lancasterclaret** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 9:57 pm

Its a pretty shitty state of affairs when a massive rock hitting the earth will probably actually improves things

Sidney1st · Post by **Sidney1st** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:00 pm

Stick Donald trump under it, his hair will provide it a soft landing spot.

CnBtruntru · Post by **CnBtruntru** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:00 pm

Just paid off my bloody mortgage, typical.

Redbeard · Post by **Redbeard** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:03 pm

Well, this could add a whole new dimension to Spot The Ball.

Spijed · Post by **Spijed** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:13 pm

The four horsemen are starting to saddle up!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-38760792" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Man of Kent · Post by **Man of Kent** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:20 pm

minnieclaret wrote:Armageddon out of here. Send for Bruce Willis.

Stop worrying and speculating about whether some asteroid is going to kill us all. This will tell you the day on which you're going to die - exactly! Apparently I'm going to die on December 3rd 2057 - well chuffed about that. Forty years left.

http://deathclock.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

john'sroseyspecs · Post by **john'sroseyspecs** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:29 pm

CnBtruntru wrote:Just paid off my bloody mortgage, typical.

I've got 15 years left on mine. Up yours Skipton building society. You'll never see that now!

CnBtruntru · Post by **CnBtruntru** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:29 pm

Man of Kent wrote:Stop worrying and speculating about whether some asteroid is going to kill us all. This will tell you the day on which you're going to die - exactly! Apparently I'm going to die on December 3rd 2057 - well chuffed about that. Forty years left.

http://deathclock.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

What you now 84?

P.S. Just checked mine and I'm ******. There's an asteroid gonna hit the Earth next month and the clock has stopped

Ptangyangkipperbang · Post by **Ptangyangkipperbang** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:38 pm

Good it will stop all this brexit nonesence

Sutton-Claret · Post by **Sutton-Claret** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:42 pm

Which day did they say it'll hit cos if its a Friday I'll be well p*****d off. Can't they postpone till a monday

Sutton-Claret · Post by **Sutton-Claret** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:43 pm

Hold on..... did you say a Russian !!!!!!! well then its more likely to be BS then - or on steroids.

Guich · Post by **Guich** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:44 pm

And it'll stop all those greenies droning on about how we're destroying the planet

minnieclaret · Post by **minnieclaret** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:45 pm

Man of Kent wrote:Stop worrying and speculating about whether some asteroid is going to kill us all. This will tell you the day on which you're going to die - exactly! Apparently I'm going to die on December 3rd 2057 - well chuffed about that. Forty years left.

http://deathclock.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

That's upset me. I'll live to 90 but Mrs Minnie has less than a year.

RalphCoatesComb · Post by **RalphCoatesComb** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 11:07 pm

Can we speak to Clark Kent and get it put back a few weeks? I've got a holiday planned for next month !

Sutton-Claret · Post by **Sutton-Claret** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 11:21 pm

I'm going to die in March 2023. I'll be 51. What a load of balls........ hopefully

RalphCoatesComb · Post by **RalphCoatesComb** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 11:24 pm

Sutton-Claret wrote:I'm going to die in March 2023. I'll be 51. What a load of balls........ hopefully

That'll teach you for clicking onto a Bullsh*t site! You'll not be able to enjoy New Year's Eve 2023 now

ontario claret · Post by **ontario claret** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 11:25 pm

That's OK. As long as it lands on Deadwood Park.

bfccrazy · Post by **bfccrazy** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 11:26 pm

Just the sort of pace we're looking for.

Does it like omlettes?

Sutton-Claret · Post by **Sutton-Claret** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 11:31 pm

RalphCoatesComb wrote:That'll teach you for clicking onto a Bullsh*t site! You'll not be able to enjoy New Year's Eve 2023 now

No worries now. I massaged some of my answers and I've now got till August 2065. Which will make me 92. Not bad for a fat bloke.

Holmeclaret · Post by **Holmeclaret** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 11:39 pm

Don't worry, it'll f*ck off back to outer space when Nasa sends Sean up in a rocket to face it down.

ontario claret · Post by **ontario claret** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 11:47 pm

Who's bigger, Sutton? You or the asteroid? (I almost spelt it arseteroid. Well, better than hemeroid.)

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 11:58 pm

I'm already dead, according to that. I died in 1996.

Imploding Turtle · Post by **Imploding Turtle** » Fri Jan 27, 2017 12:04 am

Pstotto wrote:I'm already dead, according to that. I died in 1996.

F

Paul Waine · Post by **Paul Waine** » Fri Jan 27, 2017 12:09 am

[quote="yorkyclaret"]Don't worry Keane will head it away.[/quote

after Ben Mee has blocked it on the line - with his face...

UTC

ontario claret · Post by **ontario claret** » Fri Jan 27, 2017 12:10 am

Yes, IT?