Back to reality........is there anything more painful than a stubbed toe ?

bfcjg · Post by **bfcjg** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 10:34 pm

I think not. Mrs JG tonight offered little or no sympathy when I stubbed my right big toe and the one next to it on the dining room table leg. It bent back and there was blood, I wont go into to much detail as I don't want this thread pulling but I am sure my nail has split as well. The 111 NHS service was as good as useless and I am sure the person who answered put me on speaker as I thought I heard laughing whilst describing the trauma suffered and my slippers are being washed so I suppose it is partially my fault. What annoyed me was the old chestnut you'd know pain if you had a baby, well you dont get minor stubs hour after hour leading up to the event to help you prepare, you don't get offered pethidine, diamorphine, gas and air and an epidural plus a loving partner and medical assistance reassuring you and a beautiful baby at the end of it, you just get the ultimate pain in an instant. I have had root canal work, knee operations etc but you know about these, you prepare and are ready and have pain relief, I have cut my fingers/hands on machinery but nothing touches the pain of a stubbed toe.

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 10:36 pm

Always wear footwear!!

taio · Post by **taio** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 10:37 pm

Standing on a plug prongs face up is a close second

Quickenthetempo · Post by **Quickenthetempo** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 10:38 pm

Can you stand on a plug barefoot to compare?

Jeffbfc · Post by **Jeffbfc** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 10:38 pm

Yes catching your private in your zip.
Actually had worse once after a motorbike accident but that's another tale.

bfcjg · Post by **bfcjg** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 10:39 pm

taio wrote:Standing on a plug prongs face up is a close second

Very true, I have done that but it didn't puncture the skin, but a very valid addition. Lego is a bugger as well.

bfcjg · Post by **bfcjg** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 10:39 pm

Jeffbfc wrote:Yes catching your private in your zip.
Actually had worse once after a motorbike accident but that's another tale.

Did you stub your toe on the kerb ?
Did you forget to wear a decent pair of underpants ie the pack of 5 for £2.99 from George ?

Jeffbfc · Post by **Jeffbfc** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 10:55 pm

bfcjg wrote:Did you stub your toe on the kerb ?
Did you forget to wear a decent pair of underpants ie the pack of 5 for £2.99 from George ?

No. But also came of my motorbike once.
Needed stitches on the ballsack.
Worse pain ever.
The needle wasn't that bad.
The cord being pulled threw.

Also had fractured my pelvis in three places. It hurt but not a patch on that.

Sidney1st · Post by **Sidney1st** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 10:59 pm

I've has a think and I've only ever experienced pain worse than a toe stubbing once.

I'd had a circumcision a number of years ago and was just sat on the floor at home minding my own business, whilst it was still healing.

My toddler son decided to wander over to give me a cuddle and accidently kicked little sid...
I'm not ashamed to admit I cried.

jedi_master · Post by **jedi_master** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:00 pm

Papercut on the gap between two of your fingers.

Agony. Neverending agony.

FactualFrank · Post by **FactualFrank** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:03 pm

I expected a challenge when I opened the thread. You should all be ashamed of yourself... Try having a camera shoved down your Jap's eye and into your urethra.

Unless you stubbed your toe on your prostate, stop complaining.

Wokingclaret · Post by **Wokingclaret** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:05 pm

Not when the wick has gone OOOOCH

box_of_frogs · Post by **box_of_frogs** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:05 pm

I’ll second the “standing on Lego”.

cloughyclaret · Post by **cloughyclaret** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:12 pm

Toothache. You all know it.

Sidney1st · Post by **Sidney1st** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:18 pm

cloughyclaret wrote:Toothache. You all know it.

Nah, at least I can break the tooth if needs be in the middle of the night to relieve the pain.

bfcjg · Post by **bfcjg** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:23 pm

FactualFrank wrote:I expected a challenge when I opened the thread. You should all be ashamed of yourself... Try having a camera shoved down your Jap's eye and into your urethra.

Unless you stubbed your toe on your prostate, stop complaining.

Frank, now come on lets not turn soft, my dining table is made of stout English oak a toe introduced to it at pace puts what you have described (as eye wateringly painful as it is) into perspective. Man up.

Sheedyclaret · Post by **Sheedyclaret** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:24 pm

Cramp in the lower calf muscle is grim usually happens in the night while sleeping resulting in loss feeling in one leg..

Lancasterclaret · Post by **Lancasterclaret** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:24 pm

Standing on a piece of lego

Dyched · Post by **Dyched** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:25 pm

Lego.

When you bite your finger nail and that little bit gets left behind at the side. 1 little knock and its like a bus has driven over you finger.

conyoviejo · Post by **conyoviejo** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:26 pm

Gout in the big toe is quite painful too..

conyoviejo · Post by **conyoviejo** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:26 pm

Ingrowing toenails hurt quite a bit as well.

Goodclaret · Post by **Goodclaret** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 12:02 am

Sheedyclaret wrote:Cramp in the lower calf muscle is grim usually happens in the night while sleeping resulting in loss feeling in one leg..

I'l just add to that by saying having cramp in your calf whilst having gout in your ankle is a double killer!

FactualFrank · Post by **FactualFrank** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 12:06 am

Goodclaret wrote:I'l just add to that by saying having cramp in your calf whilst having gout in your ankle is a double killer!

Especially when she's complaining that you're not cycling fast enough.

piston broke · Post by **piston broke** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 12:07 am

1) getting dangly bits caught in a zip.
2) standing or kneeling on carpet gripper rod.
3) touching a hot iron with any part of your body.

charlyt · Post by **charlyt** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 12:07 am

JT did a good job as well1

He'll be sidelined for months.

Goodclaret · Post by **Goodclaret** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 12:08 am

FactualFrank wrote:Especially when she's complaining that you're not cycling fast enough.

Ha ha, indeed

bfcjg · Post by **bfcjg** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 12:20 am

piston broke wrote:1) getting dangly bits caught in a zip.
2) standing or kneeling on carpet gripper rod.
3) touching a hot iron with any part of your body.

One and two I can get, painful but come on, however if you are attempting to say that touching an iron against oneself is anything other than deliberate attempt to get out of doing the ironing until next week is a slur on us brave fellows who have stubbed a toe or two. It is not accidental to hold an iron to your testicles/lady bits unless you are of course an mp with connections to the home office.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 12:45 am

A famous Roman poet actually died of shock from the pain of a stubbed toe, but I can't remember their name.

Imploding Turtle · Post by **Imploding Turtle** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 12:54 am

Cramp in the sole of your foot.

paulus the woodgnome · Post by **paulus the woodgnome** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 1:14 am

Kidney stones take some beating.

gandhisflipflop · Post by **gandhisflipflop** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 1:36 am

Waking up as a kid with stitches stuck to your pyjamas after a circumstition takes some beating. Also abcess are excruxiating.

HunterST_BFC · Post by **HunterST_BFC** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 1:36 am

There are some fine contenders already posted.
Indeed I have taken some of them on in my time.
But...

We bought a 1st house, the seller wanted extra for the carpets, I said take them with you (they were going anyway - foul in many many ways).
Night 1 with better half (and Mother in law to be) staying in my old flat.
I'm on on a couch downstairs for the night freezing in the new place.
About 4am needed the loo. Quickly jogged upstairs.
The way back jogged quicker... but I landed full length of my foot on a carpet grip, enough momentum to bend the nails. I was stuck.
Painful.
Not as painful as tearing my foot off the grip to get to my phone.

4:20 · Post by **4:20** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 2:34 am

Certain piles, especially those on the inside and walking your brothers of destruction into the corner of a table.

Claret-On-A-T-Rex · Post by **Claret-On-A-T-Rex** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 6:59 am

The Cluster Migraine...

"The pain occurs only on one side of the head (unilateral), around the eye (orbital), particularly above the eye (supraorbital), in the temple (temporal), or in any combination. The pain of CH attack is remarkably greater than in other headache conditions, including severe migraine. The pain is typically described as burning, stabbing, boring or squeezing, and may be located near or behind the eye.[11] As a result of the pain, those with cluster headaches may experience suicidal thoughts during an attack (giving the alternative name "suicide headache" or "suicidal headache").[12][13] It is reported as one of the most painful conditions.[14]"

“probably the worse pain imaginable. I’ve had patients say it’s worse than labor pain or burns.”

fatboy47 · Post by **fatboy47** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 7:13 am

A bad snip can take some beating.

A month of tottering around with a purple sack, the size and shape of an inverted cauliflower, having to keep one's knees at least 6" apart....that's pain..nothing nice about it..nothing to like..and psychologically damaging too.

claretinkorea · Post by **claretinkorea** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 7:31 am

Dislocating a shoulder is right up there and certainly the worst pain I have ever experienced (even after the 7th time I still couldn't get used to it)!

Claret&Green · Post by **Claret&Green** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 7:40 am

FactualFrank wrote:I expected a challenge when I opened the thread. You should all be ashamed of yourself... Try having a camera shoved down your Jap's eye and into your urethra.

Unless you stubbed your toe on your prostate, stop complaining.

I too had this done, coz I told gp when I saw blood in urine. Nothing wrong thank god, but the pain of the procedure and for next few days when having a pee was unbelievable. Answer shouldn't have told doc in first place.

Imploding Turtle · Post by **Imploding Turtle** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 7:43 am

I had fractures in my leg when i was in the army and used to go on tabs and runs with it (obviously not knowing) and it was fine during the exercise but as soon as i'd stop it was the most excruciating pain i'd ever felt. I'd never broken anything so didn't know it was a fracture causing the pain. Even when it actually broke it wasn't as painful as the occassions when i'd so much as brush it against one of the metal bed frames.

I don't think i've felt a pain as bad as it since. Spraining my ankle when i was 18 or 19 has to be up there, but over the years i've got quite used to that particular pain.

Holmeclaret · Post by **Holmeclaret** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 7:44 am

Being a tall chap, I find that the split second between stubbing your toe and your pain receptors almost gleefully delivering the message of pain to your brain particularly annoying. Sort of, oh f*ck, here it comes and sure enough....

50 shades of Grey · Post by **50 shades of Grey** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 8:03 am

Hitting your thumb/ fingers with a hammer when knocking a nail in (think I invented some new swear words at the time, whilst my missus simply looked at me and said 'stop being such a marde-arse'.

Siddo · Post by **Siddo** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 8:06 am

I too have stubbed my big toe on many occasions, but have made successful recoveries. I tend to do it most when descending mountains after a long walk. Sheer agony. However, I have also had 2 tooth abscesses and nothing comes close to that.

bfcjg · Post by **bfcjg** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 10:37 am

Some valid contenders but I am still convinced it is the stubbed that gets it.if anyone watched the gunpowder plot especially the tower of London torture scenes not once did the BBC have the bravery to show the toe stubbing scene when the rack and finger nail pulling had failed to get the desired confession.

NL Claret · Post by **NL Claret** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 10:42 am

Accidentally kicking an airport trolley wheel with an in growing toe nail wasn't pleasant nor was standing on a gripper rod bare foot.

piston broke · Post by **piston broke** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 10:43 am

bfcjg wrote:One and two I can get, painful but come on, however if you are attempting to say that touching an iron against oneself is anything other than deliberate attempt to get out of doing the ironing until next week is a slur on us brave fellows who have stubbed a toe or two. It is not accidental to hold an iron to your testicles/lady bits unless you are of course an mp with connections to the home office.

Be careful ironing when the phone rings!

HatfieldClaret · Post by **HatfieldClaret** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 11:34 am

Jumping into the sea and landing on a sea urchin. Worse than the upturned plug or lego.

Trying to get the spines out was even more painful.

Rick_Muller · Post by **Rick_Muller** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 11:47 am

Perianal abscess.

The agony from one of these bad boys (I’ve had 2) apparently out-pains natural childbirth without drugs according to females who have had both. When the first one burst in the bath it left a slick of green puss and blood across the whole surface. I had 2 arseholes for a few weeks whilst it healed. I had to pack it with seaweed dressings 3 times a day.

The sinusoidal abscess came in a close second place and that left a golf ball sized hole at the bottom of my spine.

End of thread.

bfcjg · Post by **bfcjg** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 5:09 pm

[quote="Rick_Muller"]Perianal abscess.

The agony from one of these bad boys (I’ve had 2) apparently out-pains natural childbirth without drugs according to females who have had both. When the first one burst in the bath it left a slick of green puss and blood across the whole surface. I had 2 arseholes for a few weeks whilst it healed. I had to pack it with seaweed dressings 3 times a day.

The sinusoidal abscess came in a close second place and that left a golf ball sized hole at the bottom of my spine.End of thread.
Ouch. Close....but no cigar.

FactualFrank · Post by **FactualFrank** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 5:24 pm

Claret&Green wrote:I too had this done, coz I told gp when I saw blood in urine. Nothing wrong thank god, but the pain of the procedure and for next few days when having a pee was unbelievable. Answer shouldn't have told doc in first place.

Yep, I know what you mean. It's like pi$$ing out razor blades, isn't it? I was fine the following day, but I didn't drink any water, for about 24 hours, so I didn't have to go to the loo!

Sidney1st · Post by **Sidney1st** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 5:27 pm

gandhisflipflop wrote:Waking up as a kid with stitches stuck to your pyjamas after a circumstition takes some beating. Also abcess are excruxiating.

Just as painful when you have it done in your mid 20’s.

FactualFrank · Post by **FactualFrank** » Sun Nov 05, 2017 5:32 pm

HunterST_BFC wrote:There are some fine contenders already posted.
Indeed I have taken some of them on in my time.
But...

We bought a 1st house, the seller wanted extra for the carpets, I said take them with you (they were going anyway - foul in many many ways).
Night 1 with better half (and Mother in law to be) staying in my old flat.
I'm on on a couch downstairs for the night freezing in the new place.
About 4am needed the loo. Quickly jogged upstairs.
The way back jogged quicker... but I landed full length of my foot on a carpet grip, enough momentum to bend the nails. I was stuck.
Painful.
Not as painful as tearing my foot off the grip to get to my phone.

The most painful bit about that was you spending the night with your better half who is also your mother-in-law!