Counting fish

[I luv my wife]

Anyone know how to count fish in my pond ,we have about twenty but the dam things keep moving so stopping me getting a definite figure
Yours in anticipation

[Dyched]

24 Fish. 15 Gallons of Water

[I luv my wife]

Actually there is about 25gallons and a waterfall

[Bertiebeehead]

Take them out one by one and lay them next to the pond, then count them.

[Dyched]

Actually there is about 25gallons and a waterfall

Apologies. I thought this was a new version of the tinned food count.

[Archie Claret]

I like counting crows

[Caernarfon_Claret]

I wouldn't put tinned fish in a pond.

[iluva64]

get a Heron

1 Heron = no fish

[I luv my wife]

When we had a bridge over the pond the fish when it was raining (not just drizzle)used to shelter underneath bit strange but true

[Westyorkclaret]

Is this a new take on the tinned food count ?

If not, feed a direct current of 240v, wait till they start to float and then count them

[bfccrazy]

Get a wetsuit and a snorkel - sit in the corner of the pond and blend in with them .... I think it'll be about a week til you become familiar with all the fish and gain their confidence so you can gauge a true number of how many there are.

[chekhov]

Take them out one by one and lay them next to the pond, then count them.

I think this is the right answer.

[CnBtruntru]

Hand grenade and count them in the air like you would Counting Crows

[dsr]

Take them out one by one and lay them next to the pond, then count them.

Or more enjoyably, eat one a day from January 1st until there are none left. Whatever number of January you have reached on the day you eat the last one, that's your answer.

[gawthorpe_view]

Take a photograph and count the fishy shaped images*

* Usually accurate to + or - 0.375 fish.

Jooooosay formula available upon request.

[Rowls]

Or more enjoyably, eat one a day from January 1st until there are none left. Whatever number of January you have reached on the day you eat the last one, that's your answer.

This is a good suggestion. It gets tricky if you have more than 31 though.

[Jel]

Is this a new take on the tinned food count ?

If not, feed a direct current of 240v, wait till they start to float and then count them

Where's he going to get 240V DC?

[Clarets4me]

I've googled this......

Firstly, step into Garage,taking care not to knock over any of the 37 bottles of Prosecco contained within & find fishing net...
Secondly, approch pond and peel back netting, carefully scoop out fish and place in washing up bowl. Repeat until pond is empty...
Thirdly, replace fish in pond whilst Mrs Iluvmywife counts ( You will be unable to do this as there are more than 10 fish, and you will have your shoes and socks on ! )
Fourthy, retreat to Lounge, and pour glass of something chilled/ take Lemsip ( As appropriate )

There, fixed it for you !!

[dsr]

This is a good suggestion. It gets tricky if you have more than 31 though.

If you have a fish left on February 1st, then the correct answer is "more than 31". Then you count them again next year.

[!aiboforceN]

If it's a shallow pond, string the kids' table tennis net across the middle, making sure the fish are all on one side. Throw the fish over the net, counting as you go until there are none left.
... or failing that, go with dsr's suggestion.

[Wile E Coyote]

drain the pond of all water, look at the fish, count them, refill pond with water.

[Cirrus_Minor]

Counting fish in a pond is a bit like herding cats. Fish will be at their most dormant in winter so if you can't count them now you never will without taking drastic actions that could harm them.

What I used to do (when I had a pond) was make an estimate by counting fish within a smaller area that I could count and multiplying for the rest of the pond. If you do this a few times over you will have a fair idea how many you have to writhin +\- 10%.