Silly things woman say
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Silly things woman say
Just settling down to watch Egypt v Uraguay the wife is half listening and she just turned to me and said "Is the referee using a motobilitity scooter" ....only people watching the game will get this she's lovely really !
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Re: Silly things woman say
Now she just said he's a tiny player the guy next to the referee in red
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Re: Silly things woman say
I once took a girlfriend to the Turf. Leighton James pushed the ball past the fullback in front of the Longside heading to the Bee Hole End and ran down the cinder track before collecting the ball just before it ran out of play. The girlfriend said: 'Wasn't he offside then?'
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Re: Silly things woman say
this could be a longer thread than adeola friday.
Re: Silly things woman say
It was commonplace at my junior school (boys' yard) to think that "offside" meant "out of play" - ie. off the side of the pitch.Quicknick wrote:I once took a girlfriend to the Turf. Leighton James pushed the ball past the fullback in front of the Longside heading to the Bee Hole End and ran down the cinder track before collecting the ball just before it ran out of play. The girlfriend said: 'Wasn't he offside then?'
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Re: Silly things woman say
But a shorter one than Silly things men say.happyclaret17 wrote:this could be a longer thread than adeola friday.
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Re: Silly things woman say
‘Is it in yet’
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Re: Silly things woman say
Wrong Hole
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Re: Silly things woman say
....NottsClaret wrote:But a shorter one than Silly things men say.
I rest my case.
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Re: Silly things woman say
"I do"
applies to both (all) sexes
applies to both (all) sexes
Re: Silly things woman say
Does my bum look big in this.... (no bigger than usual)
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Re: Silly things woman say
....andyh wrote:Does my bum look big in this.... (no bigger than usual)
I thought you had a rucksack on is not the right answer boys .
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Re: Silly things woman say
Are you really going to have that last can.
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Re: Silly things woman say
No, you go out, I don’t mind, enjoy your self!
Re: Silly things woman say
Who is playing?
What’s a corner for again?
What’s a corner for again?
Re: Silly things woman say
Not necessarily what they say, but why do they all take the lids off washing up liquid, fabric softner etc and sniff them whilst shopping?
It tells you the flavour on the bottle, very odd.
It tells you the flavour on the bottle, very odd.
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Re: Silly things woman say
I’m not sure that they tell you the flavourMACCA wrote:Not necessarily what they say, but why do they all take the lids off washing up liquid, fabric softner etc and sniff them whilst shopping?
It tells you the flavour on the bottle, very odd.
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Re: Silly things woman say
Back in the early 2000s my mates sister said
"Terry Henry's a great player... Why doesn't he play for England!"
"Terry Henry's a great player... Why doesn't he play for England!"
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Re: Silly things woman say
The first game my wife ever attended was Brighton at home about 20 odd years ago. We were losing 1 nil at HT and Brighton scored a second early in the second half. My wife said "that's a good do" but was surprised I wasn't celebrating. She hadn't noticed the teams had changed round (forget the colour of shirts, obviously)
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Re: Silly things woman say
so she says
" what are you doing coming home half p1ssed "
you say
" I ran out of money love....hicc "
" what are you doing coming home half p1ssed "
you say
" I ran out of money love....hicc "
Re: Silly things woman say
DCWat wrote:I’m not sure that they tell you the flavour
Yeah they do
I use flavour too much
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Re: Silly things woman say
I don't think I'll order any chips... I'll just have a few of yours.
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Re: Silly things woman say
These are the things they don't say....often enough.
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Re: Silly things woman say
Do you REALLY need another??bfcjg wrote:Are you really going to have that last can.
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Re: Silly things woman say
Her: Why couldn't Thierry Henry play for England?
Me: Because he's French
Her: Fair enough.
Me: Because he's French
Her: Fair enough.
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Re: Silly things woman say
After yesterday's game- "So have Russia won the World Cup then"?
Re: Silly things woman say
Mrs walks in from work and....
Me - Hi love, can you get me a beer before it starts
Mrs - yeah sure
Me - I'm empty can you get me another
Mrs - here
Me - that's gone down a treat, can I have another quickly it's going to start any minute.
Mrs - Jesus, what did you last slave die of, here don't ask me again!
Me - Darling, please can I have 1 more whilst you're up, its bound to start any minute now
Mrs - No, get up off your fat lazy arse and get your own beer, I've been at work all day, yet soon as I walk through the door I'm expected to wait on you hand and foot.
Me - See it's started, I knew it wouldn't be long...
Me - Hi love, can you get me a beer before it starts
Mrs - yeah sure
Me - I'm empty can you get me another
Mrs - here
Me - that's gone down a treat, can I have another quickly it's going to start any minute.
Mrs - Jesus, what did you last slave die of, here don't ask me again!
Me - Darling, please can I have 1 more whilst you're up, its bound to start any minute now
Mrs - No, get up off your fat lazy arse and get your own beer, I've been at work all day, yet soon as I walk through the door I'm expected to wait on you hand and foot.
Me - See it's started, I knew it wouldn't be long...
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Re: Silly things woman say
I was once in bed with a married woman and heard the sound of the front door opening and boots climbing the stairs.
It's my husband she says, quick use the back door. With hindsight I suppose I should have legged it but you don't get an offer like that every day....
It's my husband she says, quick use the back door. With hindsight I suppose I should have legged it but you don't get an offer like that every day....
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Re: Silly things woman say
Then you either woke up or got filled in !Herts Clarets wrote:I was once in bed with a married woman and heard the sound of the front door opening and boots climbing the stairs.
It's my husband she says, quick use the back door. With hindsight I suppose I should have legged it but you don't get an offer like that every day....
Re: Silly things woman say
Ronaldo made it 3-3 tonight.-"so will it go to penalties now"
No darling.
No darling.
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Re: Silly things woman say
“I do!”
(this is in support of all those women who spend a lifetime tied to a football fan)
(this is in support of all those women who spend a lifetime tied to a football fan)
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Re: Silly things woman say
That’s my number 1 hate. “No I don’t want any chips”, meal arrives, and then “can I have some of your chips?”Holmeclaret wrote:I don't think I'll order any chips... I'll just have a few of yours.
Re: Silly things woman say
Why did you bother with this shite?MACCA wrote:Mrs walks in from work and....
Me - Hi love, can you get me a beer before it starts
Mrs - yeah sure
Me - I'm empty can you get me another
Mrs - here
Me - that's gone down a treat, can I have another quickly it's going to start any minute.
Mrs - Jesus, what did you last slave die of, here don't ask me again!
Me - Darling, please can I have 1 more whilst you're up, its bound to start any minute now
Mrs - No, get up off your fat lazy arse and get your own beer, I've been at work all day, yet soon as I walk through the door I'm expected to wait on you hand and foot.
Me - See it's started, I knew it wouldn't be long...
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Re: Silly things woman say
When we 1st met she tried to pretend she liked rugby for some odd reason.
Her watching England score a try "yes! What a try". One minute later "yes! And again go on boys"
Me "that was a replay"
Her watching England score a try "yes! What a try". One minute later "yes! And again go on boys"
Me "that was a replay"
Re: Silly things woman say
To a marriage proposal.. 'Yes'..
Re: Silly things woman say
I don't know, I was bored and I wrote the joke out wrong so it hardley made sense.Siddo wrote:Why did you bother with this shite?
It's what a women would do though I suppose.
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Re: Silly things woman say
Mine feels sorry for Hublot. He's always getting taken off!
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Re: Silly things woman say
'Turn Right' whilst pointing to the left. It's a gene pool thing, they all do it!
Re: Silly things woman say
I know exactly what you mean!MACCA wrote:I don't know, I was bored and I wrote the joke out wrong so it hardley made sense.
It's what a women would do though I suppose.
Re: Silly things woman say
My wife was doing some shopping on line a couple of years ago I keep well out of it but casually asked her what her password was as there was a lot of hacking cases going on; when she told me it was the dogs name I ranted on about cyber security etc etc etc to wish the reply was how could somebody in Russia a,know me b,know that we have a dog called xxxxxx ? c, know we live in Burnley.
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Re: Silly things woman say
Explains their driving and map-reading skillsJohnMac wrote:'Turn Right' whilst pointing to the left. It's a gene pool thing, they all do it!
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Re: Silly things woman say
Me, “shall I go right or left?”
Her, “yes”
Her, “yes”
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Re: Silly things woman say
Approaching a junction with 4 lanes....taking her to her friends house....which lane shall I go in I ask......take the middle one she says.
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Re: Silly things woman say
She just asked me is Mark Clattenberg gay? She has a point though.
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Re: Silly things woman say
Yesterday I had a huge rip in the front of my jeans I wanted to change and the missus said " you can only see it if you look" What!!!
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Re: Silly things woman say
“It’s very simple: we’re not going to be sending the vast amount of money every year to the EU that we spend at the moment as a member of the European Union. That money will be coming back, and we will be spending it on our priorities. And NHS is our No 1 priority."
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Re: Silly things woman say
"I'm here at the WhiteHouse w my family, feeling great, & working hard on behalf of children & the American people!"
Re: Silly things woman say
It has descended into a really poor Clive James stand up show.
ITS CLIVE ANDERSON DARLING
ITS CLIVE ANDERSON DARLING
Re: Silly things woman say
‘I’m not indecisive, I just don’t know what I want’ my Mrs when trying to decide what to have from the Chinese
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Re: Silly things woman say
Mrs. CM sees the player injured on MOTD and says, “Has he damaged his Hercules tendon?”.