Depression / Suicide

FactualFrank · Post by **FactualFrank** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 7:06 pm

I remember replying to Zlatan last year, trying to stop him doing anything daft. Now, I'm in the same position. Depressed like you wouldn't believe.

Some of you will have noticed how depressed I've been over the last few days. I've actually put up with it over the last 4 years, and I think I've finally had enough and ready to off my pop.

Has anybody taken Antidepressants and did they help? I wake up in the morning and just think about going back to sleep. Being awake is actually depressing.

keith1879 · Post by **keith1879** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 7:08 pm

FactualFrank wrote:I remember replying to Zlatan last year, trying to stop him doing anything daft. Now, I'm in the same position. Depressed like you wouldn't believe.

Some of you will have noticed how depressed I've been over the last few days. I've actually put up with it over the last 4 years, and I think I've finally had enough and ready to off my pop.

Has anybody taken Antidepressants and did they help? I wake up in the morning and just think about going back to sleep. Being awake is actually depressing.

My wife suffered for several years and the prescibed drugs definitely helped. Hope this helps you.

claretnproud · Post by **claretnproud** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 7:10 pm

I took fluoxetine and they were great. once through the darkest days I took up regular exercise. stopped drinking and sorted out my diet. much much better now.
always remember this. anxiety and depression is caused by thoughts and thoughts cannot harm you. stick with the plan frank and you will get there.

claretnproud · Post by **claretnproud** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 7:13 pm

and well done frank for sharing your thoughts. you just took the first step to your recovery.

Quickenthetempo · Post by **Quickenthetempo** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 7:15 pm

Exercise and natural daylight help depression.

Anxiety- don't fight it, just try and let it pass with as little fuss as possible if you can.

Talk to your best friend or close family member on the phone. There's nowt more re-assuring.

bfcjg · Post by **bfcjg** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 7:16 pm

Frank you are one of the wittiest posters on here and in the main your posts are relevant interesting and topical. I am shocked by what you have put and hope you get through it.
For the record a member of my family was seriously depressed and described life as black and foggy . We contacted urgent care and got help straight away. Regular GP appointments and correct medication and life is back to normal. They work.

ClaretDiver · Post by **ClaretDiver** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 7:17 pm

Frank...as CnP says, congrat on admitting you are feeling this way. Far too many people hide it, including me....I have had many dark days since my wife's stroke and even more now she has left me to go back to South Africa to be with her parents.

Talk to people, make your feelings known to those around you. You will be surprised at their reaction and it will help you.

I genuinely can empathise with you...

Talk to your doctor, talk to anyone just don't bottle things up.

My thoughts are with you champ! Take care! Oh and if you ever fancy a pint and a chat give me a shout!

starting_11 · Post by **starting_11** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 7:21 pm

Duno what much to say Frank, go see a GP asap and get on the medication.

Don't be doing anything daft and try lay off the beer if you can, it won't help.

You're one of the few posters on here who doesn't do my head in, so keep on posting!

claretnproud · Post by **claretnproud** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 7:21 pm

ClaretDiver wrote:Frank...as CnP says, congrat on admitting you are feeling this way. Far too many people hide it, including me....I have had many dark days since my wife's stroke and even more now she has left me to go back to South Africa to be with her parents.

Talk to people, make your feelings known to those around you. You will be surprised at their reaction and it will help you.

I genuinely can empathise with you...

Talk to your doctor, talk to anyone just don't bottle things up.

My thoughts are with you champ! Take care! Oh and if you ever fancy a pint and a chat give me a shout!

same here frank. more than happy to help any way i can. its not something you will ever forget going through a bad patch and I always said I would help anyone I could after going through my dark days. once again though, well done on starting your recovery.

FactualFrank · Post by **FactualFrank** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 7:27 pm

Quickenthetempo wrote:Exercise and natural daylight help depression.
Anxiety- don't fight it, just try and let it pass with as little fuss as possible if you can.

Talk to your best friend or close family member on the phone. There's nowt more re-assuring.

The girl I'm seeing isn't even aware of it. I just put on a front and come out with my normal every day witty one liners so her and my best friends would have never guessed.

watsonsclarets · Post by **watsonsclarets** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 7:30 pm

Frank, I do not know you at all but my wife has suffered over the years with anxiety and depression and has taken many different anti-depressants but finally, last year started taking Mirtazapine and she is a changed woman slowly but surely.

I live in Leeds currently and I can see so do you if you ever wanted to meet up for a brew more than happy pal.

I think you need to go and see a GP first and chat to them about your problems and issues mate.

cutsy123 · Post by **cutsy123** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 7:31 pm

Frank thr best thing to do is get yourself out in this sun when you can

FactualFrank · Post by **FactualFrank** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 7:37 pm

cutsy123 wrote:Frank thr best thing to do is get yourself out in this sun when you can

Been told to stay out of the sun due to Melasma.

Quickenthetempo · Post by **Quickenthetempo** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 7:41 pm

FactualFrank wrote:The girl I'm seeing isn't even aware of it. I just put on a front and come out with my normal every day witty one liners so her and my best friends would have never guessed.

It's usually the case unfortunately, brave, laughing face in public then it hits home when you're alone.

A big step telling people.

Avoid alcohol at all costs until it passes. Magnifies everything 50 fold and lessens your thoughts on impact or consequences of actions.

piston broke · Post by **piston broke** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 7:42 pm

Sad to read that, Frank. Posting it is your starting point. can’t give any specific advice but I’d be seeking professional assistance.
Best thoughts for your short term and long term future.

aclaretinstevenage · Post by **aclaretinstevenage** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 7:55 pm

Frank.

Stunned of Stevenage here! Your posts are always worth reading and generally my views seem to align with yours. Respect to you for opening up about this but I have to ask if you have had any help with this from the medical profession over these past 4 years as your post reads to me like you have lived with this on your own?

Recently on the thread about BDP I mentioned my daughters condition which at one time led to her trying (I think a cry for help) to commit suicide in our house here which shocked me to the core. BUT daughter opened up to us and educated us about depression. She has regular phsycotherapy sessions and is on a high dose of Venlafaxin and generally copes with this with great support from her husband - and the dog - while holding down a varied and interesting but often stressful job. We as her parents are also now part of her support team as we are aware of what she has been putting up with as much as is possible without actually being sufferers ourselves.

Others will point out that help is out there and it is so please go find that help. You can get through this episode and things can improve.

I wish you all the best with this struggle.

FactualFrank · Post by **FactualFrank** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 8:03 pm

aclaretinstevenage, my sister has known about it, but she's done little to try and help other than ask me to talk to somebody.
I told her that spending time with family was a massive help - and she invites me around to her's once a month... yeah... massive help. {sarcasm}. Had it been the other way around I'd be inviting her around every weekend!

Nevermind.

1968claret · Post by **1968claret** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 8:04 pm

Frank. I have suffered with Anxiety/Depression on and off for 25?years. One in 4 of the UK population have been/are affected by mental health issues. So you are certainly not alone.
The first thing I would say, is that none of us are health experts, so first things first, get your self an appointment with your GP as soon as you can.
I would also recommend visiting the MIND website. Lots of help and advice there.
Mindfulness is also a good resource which works for some. As for whether anti-depressants help. Everyone is different but they certainly help d me.
All the best, reach out, get help and you will get better!

ClaretAndJew · Post by **ClaretAndJew** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 8:06 pm

I'm pretty sure you have my email mate if you want to vent.

RogerBest · Post by **RogerBest** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 8:10 pm

Frank,

I think the suggestion to see your GP is sound advice.
There is a range of support available to you.

The fact that you have recognised your difficulties and have reached out for help is a massive first step.

It probably doesn't feel like it now but things can and will get better.

Bangers&Mash · Post by **Bangers&Mash** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 8:15 pm

Serious balls for admitting it Frank. You've already won half the battle.

I live in Leeds and enjoy a walk - I'm sure I've seen you enjoy both too. If you want to get out one evening/weekend just give me a shout.

1Simpleton · Post by **1Simpleton** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 8:16 pm

The North Humberland leaflets are really helpful, free to down load. You have made the first step. Stay strong and never give up

spadesclaret · Post by **spadesclaret** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 8:19 pm

I was shocked to read the opening post. Frank, I would never have suspected. From your posts you always seem so alive and vibrant.

Please, please seek help. You are worth it.

Zlatan · Post by **Zlatan** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 8:50 pm

Billy Balfour · Post by **Billy Balfour** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 8:52 pm

Frank, please pick up the phone tomorrow and make an appointment to see your GP.

jdrobbo · Post by **jdrobbo** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 8:56 pm

Frank,

Keep talking. We can support you through this.

John

Dark Cloud · Post by **Dark Cloud** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 8:59 pm

You really must speak to a professional asap as every "amateur" you speak to has their own, often differing piece of advice or experience which can become confusing. Having said that, regular exercise and getting a much fitter body definitely has an extremely positive effect.

ClaretTony · Post by **ClaretTony** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 9:01 pm

Don’t be on your own. Talk to people and please go and get some professional help as soon as possible.

barba · Post by **barba** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 9:03 pm

Frank.

You have my sympathies for the suffering you are going through.

My sister suffered from serious mental health problems and after many months in and out of hospital she tragically took her own life.

She took many different types of anti depressants. Some helped others didn't but you only know after a period on them to know if they are for you.

I would echo other peoples thoughts about contacting your GP as there is zero shame and true strength to admit and deal with your issues.

If you want or need someone to talk to immediately then Samaritans can help. Number is 116 123 (free)

Caernarfon_Claret · Post by **Caernarfon_Claret** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 9:05 pm

FactualFrank wrote:The girl I'm seeing isn't even aware of it. I just put on a front and come out with my normal every day witty one liners so her and my best friends would have never guessed.

The fact that you are communicating about it means you have the ability to get through it, there are various antidepressants out there but some are more affective with anxiety.

I have severe anxiety and depression the only thing I'm taking at the moment is Amitriptyline and I'm going to see GP next week to get referral to mental health services.

Was feeling suicidal last week but was able to tell my wife and she stayed by me until I'd got over the worst.

Particularly bad as we were staying on The Jurassic Coast with it's cliffs - not good when all you're thinking is jumping off them.

Billy_Bumface · Post by **Billy_Bumface** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 9:16 pm

Well done on coming forward and speaking up Frank, that takes real guts. Today is day one of the rest of your life.
Please speak to your GP asap and remember we’re all here for you and we’re in this together pal.

bfcjg · Post by **bfcjg** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 9:16 pm

Threads like this bring out the humanity in us all. This messageboard when done right is amazing.
Frank I hope you are gaining strength from your fellow Clarets.

Joe Buck · Post by **Joe Buck** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 9:23 pm

Frank, my wife,s had severe anxiety and depression but with the docs and family support she’s almost her old self. It’s little steps but they get you there. Getting out into the countryside help her but it’s different for everyone I suppose. Talk people will help

ClaretAndJew · Post by **ClaretAndJew** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 9:38 pm

Frank, do you live round here? Let's go for a pint tomorrow if you want.

andyh · Post by **andyh** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 9:42 pm

I have been on antidepressants so has my wife and my two closest workmates. Talking helps. Knowing it is sorta normal helps. Knowing it is likely to be temporary helps. Exercise helps. Sunlight helps. Mindfulness and other relaxation techniques help. Being kind to yourself helps. Drugs may help. Everyone is different so others’ experiences may not be your own. There are lots of variants of drugs these days some may work better for you thN others... none of them are a quick fix... they take weeks to be effective so tackle it with some of the other stuff at the same time. Keep busy and active as hard as that feels.

conyoviejo · Post by **conyoviejo** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 9:43 pm

Frank,a problem shared is a problem halved.. Get to your G.P.

Dawlishclaret · Post by **Dawlishclaret** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 9:52 pm

Hi Frank, may I flag up the Samaritans, we have a freephone number 116123 and are available 24/7, you can also email us at jo@samaritans.org text 07725909090 or call in at your local branch for a talk (opening hours on their website. You have made a brave decision reaching out for help and it is wonderful to read on here how supportive people are being. Busy yourself, eat properly, exercise, relax with music or a book, spend time with family and friends, see your GP and above all keep talking to people about how you are feeling. A general tip to anyone who is concerned about someone is to try and make sure that you ask open questions which encourage them to open up about how they are. My thoughts are with you.

Rick_Muller · Post by **Rick_Muller** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 9:54 pm

Frank, we’ve had fun on this forum a few times and you’re one of the posters I’d like to meet when I’m up for a match. I’ve got my season ticket for next season after an absence of a couple of years, I’d love to meet up with you (and some others too) at any home game and talk about footy, you’re a sound bloke and I know you can get through this - you are not alone mate.

Steve1956 · Post by **Steve1956** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 9:57 pm

Please be sensible Frank,there is help out there,if you wanna met and chat about it,I'll lend you a sympathetic ear,please don't do anything stupid I always enjoy your posts you come across as a great bloke...be strong buddy. X

aclaretinstevenage · Post by **aclaretinstevenage** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 10:02 pm

FactualFrank wrote:aclaretinstevenage, my sister has known about it, but she's done little to try and help other than ask me to talk to somebody.
I told her that spending time with family was a massive help - and she invites me around to her's once a month... yeah... massive help. {sarcasm}. Had it been the other way around I'd be inviting her around every weekend!

Nevermind.

Ok Frank so you have now let people on here know and while we don't for the most part know you personally you can see the consensus is that help is out there. I hope you can see your doctor as a first step to the help that is available, tell him / her they can then put you in touch with professionals in this field. Any other family or friends you could trust and confide in? Medication obviously can help but the prescribed drug may not be right first time. My kid can't increase her dosage now and any reduction gives her some issues so if you could avoid drugs do but from your first post it seems you are in a dark place so meds may be best as an immediate aid.

Wish you well soon, hang in there.

FactualFrank · Post by **FactualFrank** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 10:06 pm

Alcohol is helping - short term. I'm drinking my way through the entire World Cup!

Spijed · Post by **Spijed** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 10:16 pm

Since giving up alcohol I feel much fitter, healthier and generally better for it.

And I do a lot of parkruns. Running is a great way to release the endorphins, making you feel better!

spamalittle · Post by **spamalittle** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 10:18 pm

My heart goes out to Frank, the advice from previous posters is great, about getting out and about and opening up to your nearest and dearest, which is a long term solution, if you can't then the Samaritans is good idea. Go to your GP by all means, but attempt an initial private consultation with an expert is my advice through your GP. I went down the NHS route and ended up pigeon holed put onto lithium, had ECT and kept in a psychiatric ward for six months. It nearly ruined my life, but my personal experience only.
It changed when i went private, he listened and acted on what i said and gave me appropriate medication. Pills can help, but that takes time.
But, don't suffer in silence, you are not alone, the majority of people I work with are medicated too, it seems to be a symptom of the world we live in.

Joe Buck · Post by **Joe Buck** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 10:28 pm

Seriously alcohol is not the solution. It’s a temporary crutch maybe but that’s all it is. Not drinking or occasional drinking is better. The sun will shine again Frank but alcohol is not the answer.

TheOriginalLongsider · Post by **TheOriginalLongsider** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 10:39 pm

Frank. Talk and talk and talk about it as much as you can remember depression is an illness / it’s not your life that’s bad it’s the illness stopping you from seeing things clearly. Anti depressants can help you and they don’t need to be forever. Find the right pill and the correct dosage and you’ll feel better.

ClaretMoffitt · Post by **ClaretMoffitt** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 10:56 pm

FactualFrank wrote:I remember replying to Zlatan last year, trying to stop him doing anything daft. Now, I'm in the same position. Depressed like you wouldn't believe.

Some of you will have noticed how depressed I've been over the last few days. I've actually put up with it over the last 4 years, and I think I've finally had enough and ready to off my pop.

Has anybody taken Antidepressants and did they help? I wake up in the morning and just think about going back to sleep. Being awake is actually depressing.

They definitely help. Helped pull me out of a really deep hole two years ago (I suffer with severe GAD and when things get bad depression follows).

Unfortunately I've relapsed, but I know with the meds and sleeping pills I'll be okay again eventually.

You will be too. The medication is important.

DO NOT DRINK ON IT.

tiger76 · Post by **tiger76** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 11:01 pm

to hear your troubles FF can't really add much more than what's already been suggested,confide in family and close friends and contact your GP.Beyond that i can only wish you well everybody's situation is different,but the professionals should be able to offer constructive advice for your personal needs,hope you get the support you require.

Imploding Turtle · Post by **Imploding Turtle** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 11:08 pm

ClaretMoffitt wrote: They definitely help. Helped pull me out of a really deep hole two years ago (I suffer with severe GAD and when things get bad depression follows).

Unfortunately I've relapsed, but I know with the meds and sleeping pills I'll be okay again eventually.

You will be too. The medication is important.

DO NOT DRINK ON IT.

What if i'm curious?

Have you tried it? (not that i'm advocating it, i'm actually curious though)

FactualFrank · Post by **FactualFrank** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 11:10 pm

tiger76 wrote: to hear your troubles FF can't really add much more than what's already been suggested,confide in family and close friends and contact your GP.Beyond that i can only wish you well everybody's situation is different,but the professionals should be able to offer constructive advice for your personal needs,hope you get the support you require.

No close family. I've got plenty of friends trying to help, which is helping.

JohnMac · Post by **JohnMac** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 11:11 pm

You have done the right thing admitting how you feel, now take the next step and see your GP. Do it tomorrow and don't be fobbed off with a 'no appointments' scenario.

Lots of sound advice on here but you must see your GP.