You know you are getting old when:

CaptainKirk · Post by **CaptainKirk** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 10:30 am

You give the new starter a lift to work and she does not recognise George Michael or Michael Jackson on the radio.

TVC15 · Post by **TVC15** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 10:42 am

Who ?

tybfc · Post by **tybfc** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 10:42 am

What's a radio?

Buxtonclaret · Post by **Buxtonclaret** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 11:16 am

When a Policeman's children look old?

houseboy · Post by **houseboy** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 11:22 am

When you groan when bending over and realise you have turned into your dad.
When you utter that immortal phrase 'I don't know what young people are coming to'.
When all your bosses at work are younger than you (and female).
When you walk past a good looking young girl in the street and she smiles at you and you don't realise it's pity not sex.

Wile E Coyote · Post by **Wile E Coyote** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 11:31 am

you die

ElectroClaret · Post by **ElectroClaret** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 11:34 am

You make grunting and groaning noises getting in and out of your car.

Darthlaw · Post by **Darthlaw** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 11:46 am

There’s more food in your fridge than beer.

Dougall · Post by **Dougall** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 12:04 pm

When you have to wait a good twenty seconds after finishing a wee........just to be sure!

HatfieldClaret · Post by **HatfieldClaret** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 12:18 pm

You look back at a beautiful woman as you pass her in the street; and she's not looking back at you.

BennyD · Post by **BennyD** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 12:19 pm

When you watch a porn film and think ‘That bed looks really comfy’.

Foshiznik · Post by **Foshiznik** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 12:19 pm

Your back goes out more than you do.

steve_f · Post by **steve_f** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 12:20 pm

When the hair growing downwards outgrows the hair growing upwards

randomclaret2 · Post by **randomclaret2** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 12:22 pm

You listen to radio stations that play George Micheal and Michael Jackson

gawthorpe_view · Post by **gawthorpe_view** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 12:23 pm

When referees look young.

cbx750 · Post by **cbx750** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 12:25 pm

It takes you all night to do what you used to do all night.
(Fred Wedlock 1981)

FactualFrank · Post by **FactualFrank** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 12:38 pm

You know you are getting old when you read that Fretters was a mascot 20 years ago tonight.

Vintage Claret · Post by **Vintage Claret** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 12:43 pm

When you keep a stick exclusively used to stir paint.

CaptainKirk · Post by **CaptainKirk** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 2:24 pm

Spot on Random2 - every few years my choice of station seems to get more quiet and more easy listening.
It is also a bit worrying how many of the above replies I can relate to!

spadesclaret · Post by **spadesclaret** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 3:09 pm

When you can't remember what was in the post above this one.

not waving · Post by **not waving** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 3:24 pm

You find this thread of interest...

moaninclaret · Post by **moaninclaret** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 3:25 pm

What post?

exilecanada · Post by **exilecanada** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 3:30 pm

You can remember details from 30 years ago, can’t remember what you did yesterday.

Foulthrow · Post by **Foulthrow** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 3:40 pm

CaptainKirk wrote:You give the new starter a lift to work and she does not recognise George Michael or Michael Jackson on the radio.

She's not likely to recognise them is she? I'd imagine they've both decomposed quite a bit by now.

No Ney Never · Post by **No Ney Never** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 3:45 pm

When you think the 70/80's wasn't that long ago.

Im_not_Robbie_Blake · Post by **Im_not_Robbie_Blake** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 3:48 pm

you find yourself looking at green cardigans and tartan slippers in Greenwoods window and think they're not that bad after all.

houseboy · Post by **houseboy** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 3:51 pm

Dougall wrote:When you have to wait a good twenty seconds after finishing a wee........just to be sure!

When you have to wait 20 seconds for it to start.

houseboy · Post by **houseboy** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 3:53 pm

Vintage Claret wrote:When you keep a stick exclusively used to stir paint.

Ha ha - mine's a piece of cane.

houseboy · Post by **houseboy** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 3:54 pm

BennyD wrote:When you watch a porn film and think ‘That bed looks really comfy’.

Or you notice that the girl has a spot on her arse.

houseboy · Post by **houseboy** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 3:55 pm

HatfieldClaret wrote:You look back at a beautiful woman as you pass her in the street; and she's not looking back at you.

Thinking there was a time when that actually happened.

Rick_Muller · Post by **Rick_Muller** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 4:54 pm

when you start having to use bifocals or varifocals,

and when you have no idea what "insta-twit-book" is,

and you can remember having an alphabetical phone book (with no one in the Z page),

and you remember picking up the phone (that had a spiral cord and a dial for the numbers) and taking pot luck about who it was that was phoning you,

and when you go to cough but also fart and wee a bit involuntarily.

mkmel · Post by **mkmel** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 5:33 pm

When you go to get your hair cut and there's more hair in your ears and nose than on your head

LoveCurryPies · Post by **LoveCurryPies** » Wed Oct 10, 2018 9:12 am

The first time the barber says "Shall I trim your eyebrows?"

RammyClaret61 · Post by **RammyClaret61** » Wed Oct 10, 2018 9:16 am

You remember England winning the World Cup.

When the barber charges you the pensioners rate without asking! That’s happened twice recently.

1fatclaret · Post by **1fatclaret** » Wed Oct 10, 2018 9:18 am

When you see a stunning looking woman in a short skirt and skimpy top and think "I bet she's bloody freezing"

Lord Beamish · Post by **Lord Beamish** » Wed Oct 10, 2018 9:26 am

The Pope is younger than you in both Age and Outlook.

harpers_perm · Post by **harpers_perm** » Wed Oct 10, 2018 9:32 am

When you have to put your reading glasses on to watch porn.

claretonthecoast1882 · Post by **claretonthecoast1882** » Wed Oct 10, 2018 9:37 am

harpers_perm wrote:When you have to put your reading glasses on to watch porn.

Wait while you have to put your porn glasses on to read

Clarets4me · Post by **Clarets4me** » Wed Oct 10, 2018 11:30 am

CaptainKirk wrote:You give the new starter a lift to work and she does not recognise George Michael or Michael Jackson on the radio.

You think " Snap-Chat " is a card game, and your son tells you he's getting married next year on your 30th Wedding Anniversay !!

claptrappers_union · Post by **claptrappers_union** » Wed Oct 10, 2018 11:33 am

CaptainKirk wrote:You give the new starter a lift to work and she does not recognise George Michael or Michael Jackson on the radio.

I was teaching a class of 18 year olds, and those who knew who Michael Jackson was didn't know about his court cases involving children?!

deanothedino · Post by **deanothedino** » Wed Oct 10, 2018 11:48 am

claptrappers_union wrote:I was teaching a class of 18 year olds, and those who knew who Michael Jackson was didn't know about his court cases involving children?!

Sufferers of Stockholm Syndrome?

claretblue · Post by **claretblue** » Wed Oct 10, 2018 11:56 am

Dougall wrote:When you have to wait a good twenty seconds after finishing a wee........just to be sure!

just to be sure you've used the right room!

2 Bee Holed · Post by **2 Bee Holed** » Wed Oct 10, 2018 12:07 pm

When you go upstairs to get something.
When upstairs you can't actually remember what you are looking for.
So I sit on the bed and wonder.'I know....I'll go back down and re-trace my steps
and that will jog my memory'.
So off I trot back down the stairs.
Problem now is....I can't remember what I was doing downstairs...so I can't re-trace my steps.

So there goes another 15 minutes of my life without actually achieveing anything.

Now, what was I doing?
Oh yes....I was watching a ball being passed from side to side and then backwards...then back to the centre halves
to watch it being passed from side to side then backwards. Do you think they have forgotten what they are supposed to be doing?

I heard a guy leave t' Turf on saturday who said it was like 'watching the washing machine'.
I thought about that comment most of the way home. What's the similarity between something
that goes round and round and round.repeat...repeat...and side..side...side and...back...repeat...repeat?

Oh yes they are both called cycles.

Goobs · Post by **Goobs** » Wed Oct 10, 2018 12:07 pm

Lord Beamish wrote:The Pope is younger than you in both Age and Outlook.

he is only 26 and I'm not sure what his email account has to do with anything

Burt · Post by **Burt** » Wed Oct 10, 2018 12:09 pm

When you go to get the milk out of the fridge and open the cupboard next to it

Silkyskills1 · Post by **Silkyskills1** » Wed Oct 10, 2018 12:41 pm

When you don't get frisked outside a football ground.

bfcjg · Post by **bfcjg** » Wed Oct 10, 2018 2:50 pm

You don't try to disguise a fart sound in a public place.

CaptainKirk · Post by **CaptainKirk** » Wed Oct 10, 2018 6:17 pm

5, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 14, 15, 23, 25, 26, 31, 33, 35, 43 and 46 .....all check - how depressing is that?
Also, I quite like the selection they have at Boundary Mill. Although I saw an old grey chap dressed like my dad coming towards me and then realised it was one of the full length mirrors.

Hipper · Post by **Hipper** » Wed Oct 10, 2018 6:46 pm

1fatclaret wrote:When you see a stunning looking woman in a short skirt and skimpy top and think "I bet she's bloody freezing"

Oh. I'm pleased to see I'm not that old then.

Dyched · Post by **Dyched** » Wed Oct 10, 2018 8:04 pm

I relate alot to this thread.

Im only in my mid 20s