Best way to get a man on a date?

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Mon Oct 22, 2018 8:10 pm

Surely it can't be that Hard??

Bosscat · Post by **Bosscat** » Mon Oct 22, 2018 8:12 pm

???????????

Steve1956 · Post by **Steve1956** » Mon Oct 22, 2018 8:22 pm

I'd give you one Noone!

Dyched · Post by **Dyched** » Mon Oct 22, 2018 8:23 pm

Are you in your mid forties? Daughter just left home? Has there been a strange bloke jogging up and down peering through your window?

Claretpants · Post by **Claretpants** » Mon Oct 22, 2018 8:25 pm

tim_noone wrote:Surely it can't be that Hard??

Brave man Tim coming out on here and asking for advice-I commend you and good luck everyone deserves happiness

middleton claret · Post by **middleton claret** » Mon Oct 22, 2018 8:31 pm

Has some random neighbour you hardly know stuck his Bell-End through your letter box recently ??.

bfcjg · Post by **bfcjg** » Mon Oct 22, 2018 8:33 pm

Claretnproud will be shattered when you tell him you're a drag artist.

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Mon Oct 22, 2018 8:38 pm

middleton claret wrote:Has some random neighbour you hardly know stuck his Bell-End through your letter box recently ??.

No.... It's for my female friend. I have quite a few,

she's seen a chap up the road scraping what looks like ice off his mini and likes the look of him as he also has a vacant look which she quite likes? Any suggestions will be passed on.

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Mon Oct 22, 2018 8:40 pm

Steve1956 wrote:I'd give you one Noone!

Just give me the season ticket....

That'll do nicely

Claretpants · Post by **Claretpants** » Mon Oct 22, 2018 8:51 pm

tim_noone wrote:No.... It's for my female friend. I have quite a few, she's seen a chap up the road scraping what looks like ice off his mini and likes the look of him as he also has a vacant look which she quite likes? Any suggestions will be passed on.

of course it is

No Ney Never · Post by **No Ney Never** » Mon Oct 22, 2018 9:05 pm

tim_noone wrote:No.... It's for my female friend. I have quite a few, she's seen a chap up the road scraping what looks like ice off his mini and likes the look of him as he also has a vacant look which she quite likes? Any suggestions will be passed on.

I'd suggest using warm water, much quicker than scraping.

piston broke · Post by **piston broke** » Mon Oct 22, 2018 9:07 pm

No Ney Never wrote:I'd suggest using warm water, much quicker than scraping.

Building a garage would be cheaper than a woman.

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Mon Oct 22, 2018 9:22 pm

Claretpants wrote:of course it is

I dont know if its just a quirk of fate but theres currently a similar thred running with a bloke looking to date a woman? I might get Alice to pop round and leave her details on his thred...

conyoviejo · Post by **conyoviejo** » Mon Oct 22, 2018 9:40 pm

tim_noone wrote:I dont know if its just a quirk of fate but theres currently a similar thred running with a bloke looking to date a woman? I might get Alice to pop round and leave her details on his thred...

Alice..Alice .. Who the phook is Alice..

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Mon Oct 22, 2018 9:50 pm

conyoviejo wrote:Alice..Alice .. Who the phook is Alice..

If she had a pound for everyone that said that..

ŽižkovClaret · Post by **ŽižkovClaret** » Mon Oct 22, 2018 9:55 pm

Ask him for a steak dinner, if he doesnt fancy it, tell her to send him down the village

Hipper · Post by **Hipper** » Tue Oct 23, 2018 8:53 am

conyoviejo wrote:Alice..Alice .. Who the phook is Alice..

There's a town like her.

houseboy · Post by **houseboy** » Tue Oct 23, 2018 9:00 am

Hipper wrote:There's a town like her.

She has a restaurant as well - you can get anything you want there apparently.

mdd2 · Post by **mdd2** » Tue Oct 23, 2018 9:17 am

Hipper wrote:There's a town like her.

Now it springs to mind!!!!

bobinho · Post by **bobinho** » Tue Oct 23, 2018 10:06 am

tim_noone wrote:No.... It's for my female friend. I have quite a few, she's seen a chap up the road scraping what looks like ice off his mini and likes the look of him as he also has a vacant look which she quite likes? Any suggestions will be passed on.

Funniest post of the year... brilliant.

CaptJohn · Post by **CaptJohn** » Tue Oct 23, 2018 2:39 pm

houseboy wrote:She has a restaurant as well - you can get anything you want there apparently.

Who the hell sang that? I'm thinking something like Arlo J Guthrie but could be wrong. That post has got it going around in my head

houseboy · Post by **houseboy** » Tue Oct 23, 2018 2:51 pm

CaptJohn wrote:Who the hell sang that? I'm thinking something like Arlo J Guthrie but could be wrong. That post has got it going around in my head

Correct a mundo mate. It was a film as well. The song is a 20 minute or so song that revolves around the goings on at Alices and avoiding the draft for Vietnam.

You can get anything you want at Alice's restaraunt
(excepting Alice).

The sequence in the film accompanying the song is actually hilarious.

Incidentally Arlo's dad, Woody, was a major influence on Dylan.

GodIsADeeJay81 · Post by **GodIsADeeJay81** » Tue Oct 23, 2018 3:13 pm

Just wink at me, maybe even a smile.

I'm pretty easy right now tbh.

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Tue Oct 23, 2018 3:19 pm

GodIsADeeJay81 wrote:Just wink at me, maybe even a smile.

I'm pretty easy right now tbh.

FactualFrank · Post by **FactualFrank** » Tue Oct 23, 2018 3:27 pm

tim_noone wrote:she's seen a chap up the road scraping what looks like ice off his mini

Sounds painful.

GodIsADeeJay81 · Post by **GodIsADeeJay81** » Tue Oct 23, 2018 5:59 pm

tim_noone wrote:

A/S/L ?

Best way to get a man on a date?

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