Machete wielding man in Burnley

[cricketfieldclarets]

Panic stricken Mrs just rung me from town to say there has been a guy with a machete on Burnley market trying to attack people and smashed up the mobile phone shop (surely there are better ways to address a big bill)

Anyway in seriousness, he hasnt actually been caught yet so anyone in town or going in town I'd probably avoid it for now

Before anyone says as well, he is white and they actually know who he is having been in her shop several times - she always said he was a bit 'odd'.

[cricketfieldclarets]

Now in the news

[FactualFrank]

https://www.burnleyexpress.net/news/cri ... -1-9415338" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
FB Link: https://www.facebook.com/burnleyexpress/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[cricketfieldclarets]

He has been in the mrs' shop a few times hassling one of the girls who works there. Cant understand why she wasnt interested

[FactualFrank]

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I've got a machete,
Get in the van.

[cricketfieldclarets]

Fussy bitch

[TheFamilyCat]

It's probably a member of our first team squad on his way to Gawthorpe to stick it into SD

[Millertime v1.7]

Mate, this is just a publicity stunt for the new Friday 13th remake

[Bordeauxclaret]

Was he ranting about Brexit?

[the_fat_shearer]

He has been in the mrs' shop a few times hassling one of the girls who works there. Cant understand why she wasnt interested

He should just cut to the chase...

[FactualFrank]

He should just cut to the chase...

Razor-sharp wit, I see.

[Spike]

Jon Moss told him its fine carry on its early in the day so doesn't count

[RingoMcCartney]

Was he ranting about Brexit?

Doubt it. Even George Soros is not so desperate as to start financing the sending of tooled up Remainiacs, into the Leave Heartlands from London , to try and force a 2nd referendum.

[Longsidelenny]

That’s why I’ve moved to clitheroe to many crackpots about can you pitchure this just going for a custard slice and he turns up not for me

[Rumbletonk]

That’s why I’ve moved to clitheroe to many crackpots about can you pitchure this just going for a custard slice and he turns up not for me

If he turns up not for you he's clearly looking for someone else.

[Elder statesman]

That’s why I’ve moved to clitheroe to many crackpots about can you pitchure this just going for a custard slice and he turns up not for me

My English teacher would have had a field day with this statement!

[conyoviejo]

Perhaps Imploding Turtle has finally imploded..

[ŽižkovClaret]

how long did this go on for? I always hear about Burnley's great CCTV system, cant be that good!

[Bop]

Get him on trial. We need some cut and thrust.

[Alanstevensonsgloves]

A slice of luck that he didn't go for your missus.

[Imploding Turtle]

Perhaps Imploding Turtle has finally imploded..

I was just doing it to make Trump look bad.

[Imploding Turtle]

Was just a prank, bro.

[burnmark]

Area outside Bees Knees and whatever is occupying the former Walkabout is cordoned off with Police tape this morning. One rumour from a shopper is a machete attack again. It’s probably just hearsay after yesterday however.

[FactualFrank]

Area outside Bees Knees and whatever is occupying the former Walkabout is cordoned off with Police tape this morning. One rumour from a shopper is a machete attack again. It’s probably just hearsay after yesterday however.

There appears to have been a fight that happened at 7am according to the Burnley Express where 3 attacked 1:
https://www.burnleyexpress.net/news/cri ... -1-9416597" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[cricketfieldclarets]

Released without charge

[Funkydrummer]

The victim has had his life support machine turned off today after his brother flew in to see him.

Now on a murder charge, the fecking little scrote.

https://www.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk/n ... ef=mr&lp=2" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;