Biggest donkey of all time?

Aclaret · Post by **Aclaret** » Wed Dec 19, 2018 5:14 pm

Herts Clarets wrote:David Jones. 6 foot 4 until he went up for a header, when he became 5 foot 8.

To add to the above names, most of the 86/7 squad with a few notable exceptions: Leebrook, Heesom, Heggarty, Gallagher, Chippendale, Rhodes, Caughey, Regis, Devine, Lawrence, Malley. I would include Paul Stewart, not for lacking ability but simply insulting the fans by not being arsed and to please Tony, Roger Hansbury, the worst Burnley keeper he has ever seen......

Some bad uns there alright.
David Jones, I think it was Orient away and the home fans in their club bar before the game couldn't believe we had signed him. Not sure but did we sign him from Orient ? Dont know about a Donkey more of a Giraffe.

claret_in_exile · Post by **claret_in_exile** » Wed Dec 19, 2018 6:13 pm

I remember taking a real dislike to how shite Jason Hardy was when I was a boy!

NRC · Post by **NRC** » Wed Dec 19, 2018 6:23 pm

Paul Stewart by a country mile. Most of the other donkeys mentioned at least tried, but just weren’t footballers, whereas this oaf was simply taking the pee.....

Dark Cloud · Post by **Dark Cloud** » Wed Dec 19, 2018 7:44 pm

Aclaret wrote:Some bad uns there alright.
David Jones, I think it was Orient away and the home fans in their club bar before the game couldn't believe we had signed him. Not sure but did we sign him from Orient ? Dont know about a Donkey more of a Giraffe.

I was also at that away match at Orient and as they were warming up I remember thinking "this fella looks a good signing and like he means business. We're showing a bit of intent here and we may even be going places at last". After 20 minutes my mates wanted us to leave and go to the pub! He was awful.

KlyBfc · Post by **KlyBfc** » Wed Dec 19, 2018 7:56 pm

I can’t believe someone genuinely wrote Chris Wood. They can only have been to games since September 2018.
A player who scored 10 goals last season in the premier league helping us qualify for Europe. We reached fourth in the league and then he got injured and we didn’t win a game for months until his return at half time v Everton and we then went on to win the next 5 (no coincidence for me). Might be out of form this season, but then he hasn’t been on his own.

Flat Stanley · Post by **Flat Stanley** » Wed Dec 19, 2018 8:21 pm

Joe Jakub
Ray Deakin
Dane Richards
Liam Robinson

HitchinClaret · Post by **HitchinClaret** » Wed Dec 19, 2018 8:27 pm

NRC wrote:Paul Stewart by a country mile. Most of the other donkeys mentioned at least tried, but just weren’t footballers, whereas this oaf was simply taking the pee.....

Seconded - he was so bad I would have felt pity if I wasn’t so angry

dermotdermot · Post by **dermotdermot** » Wed Dec 19, 2018 8:28 pm

Nimani. It just has to be. I think that he was actually a basketball player who got lost after taking a wrong turning off the M65.

boatshed bill · Post by **boatshed bill** » Wed Dec 19, 2018 8:34 pm

HitchinClaret wrote:Seconded - he was so bad I would have felt pity if I wasn’t so angry

In terms of disappointment it has to be this player.

Tall Paul · Post by **Tall Paul** » Wed Dec 19, 2018 8:34 pm

Jeff Hendrick

Il Duce · Post by **Il Duce** » Wed Dec 19, 2018 8:39 pm

claptrappers_union wrote:In recent times - Nathan Delfoneso

I remember watching him play for us and realising that if I was fit, I'd be better than him.

He is a striker, he's played professional for 16 years and in 240 league appearances he has scored 30 goals - that's like 1 goal every 18 apps. I could've done that. I don't know how he has carved out a career as a professional footballer.

He was/is a terrible player... but I hope you’re not a teacher of mathematics with those calculations

RocketLawnChair · Post by **RocketLawnChair** » Wed Dec 19, 2018 9:38 pm

John Gayle, big useless ******* thug. Harsh on Tony Woodworth. Even Peter Schmichael would have struggled to keep the score down that day with the other ten in front of him nevermind a 18 year old debutant.

Steve1956 · Post by **Steve1956** » Wed Dec 19, 2018 9:59 pm

Paul Stewart

Fretters · Post by **Fretters** » Wed Dec 19, 2018 10:16 pm

Michael Williams, apart from his unbelievable performance and goal in the win at Luton.

tiger76 · Post by **tiger76** » Wed Dec 19, 2018 10:17 pm

Weird suggestions on this thread Chris Wood and Jeff Hendrick FGS,part of the squad that qualified for Europe,clearly some posters weren't privy to our lower league days.

A few from Waddle's horror season Steve Blatherwick,Mark Ford and Marco Gentile,can't believe we paid 125k,and 250k for the first two of those,which at the time was a lot for us.

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Thu Dec 20, 2018 12:06 am

tiger76 wrote:Weird suggestions on this thread Chris Wood and Jeff Hendrick FGS,part of the squad that qualified for Europe,clearly some posters weren't privy to our lower league days.

A few from Waddle's horror season Steve Blatherwick,Mark Ford and Marco Gentile,can't believe we paid 125k,and 250k for the first two of those,which at the time was a lot for us.

£15 million a very poor buy...and that's also a lot.

tiger76 · Post by **tiger76** » Thu Dec 20, 2018 12:11 am

tim_noone wrote:£15 million a very poor buy...and that's also a lot.

Poor buy perhaps he had a decent first season,but is injury prone and is misfiring this term,by our standards £15 million is a substantial outlay,but compared to some of our real dreadful signings,Wood is nowhere near in the bottom 10 even.

4:20 · Post by **4:20** » Thu Dec 20, 2018 6:51 am

Chris Wood's goals last season surely helped our league placings merit bonus, he contributed vital winning goals and equalisers to the cause.

Sausage · Post by **Sausage** » Thu Dec 20, 2018 10:40 am

I think it's lamentable, ignorant and disrespectful to suggest that Ray Deakin is even remotely close to being one of our worst ever players. Yes, he played in undoubtedly the worst Burnley team ever but so did Neil Grewcock, Ian Britton and Leighton James, all of whom played the following season as Brian Miller rebuilt the side. The fact that Ray Deakin outlasted that side and went on to make more than 200 appearances for the Clarets over six seasons, under four different managers, is proof alone that he was not the weak link in the 86-87 season. That view is reinforced by the fact that he captained Burnley at Wembley in '88 and was part of the team that narrowly failed to get automatic promotion in 1991. I remember the 'whoosh' chants but that was borne more out of affection than criticism.

By the way, it'll be the tenth anniversary of his death on Christmas Eve and I, for one, will raise a glass in his memory.

RIP, Ray. One of my heroes.

Herts Clarets · Post by **Herts Clarets** » Thu Dec 20, 2018 12:16 pm

Sausage wrote:I think it's lamentable, ignorant and disrespectful to suggest that Ray Deakin is even remotely close to being one of our worst ever players. Yes, he played in undoubtedly the worst Burnley team ever but so did Neil Grewcock, Ian Britton and Leighton James, all of whom played the following season as Brian Miller rebuilt the side. The fact that Ray Deakin outlasted that side and went on to make more than 200 appearances for the Clarets over six seasons, under four different managers, is proof alone that he was not the weak link in the 86-87 season. That view is reinforced by the fact that he captained Burnley at Wembley in '88 and was part of the team that narrowly failed to get automatic promotion in 1991. I remember the 'whoosh' chants but that was borne more out of affection than criticism.

By the way, it'll be the tenth anniversary of his death on Christmas Eve and I, for one, will raise a glass in his memory.

RIP, Ray. One of my heroes.

In total agreement on this one. Part of the worst team in our history, a long, long way from any list of our worst ever players. I nearly got his shirt at the end of the Orient game, legged it on from the CF stand asked for his shirt. He was taking it off to give to me when I was gripped round my neck from behind and dragged away from him by a kindly member of Lancashire Constabulary. Gutted I didn't get it. Without the efforts of Ray, Britt, Taffy and Neil we would have been dead and buried long before we played Orient. There will be a glass raised to Ray on Christmas Eve in the Herts household in his memory.

Rouwens_Weapon · Post by **Rouwens_Weapon** » Thu Dec 20, 2018 12:31 pm

Surprised nobody has mentioned Delroy Facey yet.. somehow he also scored a hattrick.

TheFamilyCat · Post by **TheFamilyCat** » Thu Dec 20, 2018 1:21 pm

claret_in_exile wrote:I remember taking a real dislike to how shite Jason Hardy was when I was a boy!

I can't remember anything about him as a player. My only memory of him is appearing in No Nay Never's anagram section: " Jay's hard-on"

Giftonsnoidea · Post by **Giftonsnoidea** » Thu Dec 20, 2018 1:47 pm

RocketLawnChair wrote:John Gayle, big useless ******* thug. Harsh on Tony Woodworth. Even Peter Schmichael would have struggled to keep the score down that day with the other ten in front of him nevermind a 18 year old debutant.

I think my funniset ever moment at bfc was John Gayle miskicking and hitting the advertising boarding on the top of the cricketfield stand.

The roar of laughter in the beehole lives on in the memory banks

charlyt · Post by **charlyt** » Thu Dec 20, 2018 3:53 pm

The other Elliot

RMutt · Post by **RMutt** » Thu Dec 20, 2018 6:11 pm

It’s not a nice thread this is it?

colne-claret · Post by **colne-claret** » Thu Dec 20, 2018 6:17 pm

Michael Ricketts, Dane Richards or Luigi Cennamo for me.

DavePTClaret · Post by **DavePTClaret** » Thu Dec 20, 2018 7:22 pm

We've had some absolutely shocking goalkeepers in the last 30 years.

Surprised this one hasn't already been mentioned: Frank Petr Kval.

FA Cup against Darlington, played at the Riverside. It was foggy and about minus 30, and we threw away a two-goal lead in the last five minutes, and might as well have had a ghost in goal.

Shore claret · Post by **Shore claret** » Thu Dec 20, 2018 8:31 pm

Just thought of Fernando guerero , shudders.

Hibsclaret · Post by **Hibsclaret** » Thu Dec 20, 2018 8:45 pm

Staying Up?

claret_in_exile · Post by **claret_in_exile** » Thu Dec 20, 2018 8:52 pm

TheFamilyCat wrote:I can't remember anything about him as a player. My only memory of him is appearing in No Nay Never's anagram section: " Jay's hard-on"

He was so bad, he made Peter Zelem look top-tier.

tiger76 · Post by **tiger76** » Thu Dec 20, 2018 9:55 pm

DavePTClaret wrote:We've had some absolutely shocking goalkeepers in the last 30 years.

Surprised this one hasn't already been mentioned: Frank Petr Kval.

FA Cup against Darlington, played at the Riverside. It was foggy and about minus 30, and we threw away a two-goal lead in the last five minutes, and might as well have had a ghost in goal.

Speaking of dodgy keepers Gabor Kiraly (AKA the clown) springs to mind.

South West Claret. · Post by **South West Claret.** » Thu Dec 20, 2018 11:54 pm

Some real stinkers mentioned here alright but regarding David Jones Mk1 when he returned with Donny Rovers to the Turf and was fit he didn't look to bad ..got the winner as well I think in a 1-0 win.

How anyone can call the likes of Phil Malley or Phil Murphy as they were far from the worst I've seen in a Burnley shirt.

Goodclaret · Post by **Goodclaret** » Thu Dec 20, 2018 11:56 pm

I always thought Mark Ford was one of the worse. I then listened to Stan talk about him the other week and he confirmed he was an absolute shocking player. He actually said we paid nearer £400k, which was a fortune back then, and he offered absolutely nothing.

tiger76 · Post by **tiger76** » Fri Dec 21, 2018 12:02 am

Goodclaret wrote:I always thought Mark Ford was one of the worse. I then listened to Stan talk about him the other week and he confirmed he was an absolute shocking player. He actually said we paid nearer £400k, which was a fortune back then, and he offered absolutely nothing.

Dirty Leeds must have been laughing their socks off that we paid such a fee back then,after his stint with us,he had a very brief spell in Belgium,and then joined Torquay and Darlington,showed his true level.

Goodclaret · Post by **Goodclaret** » Fri Dec 21, 2018 12:06 am

tiger76 wrote:Dirty Leeds must have been laughing their socks off that we paid such a fee back then,after his stint with us,he had a very brief spell in Belgium,and then joined Torquay and Darlington,showed his true level.

At least we got them back a wee bit later on by selling Ian Moore to them for £50k. I know we paid £1m for him but he was, literally, worth about one packet of salt and vinegar crisps at the time and we managed to get some actual money for him

South West Claret. · Post by **South West Claret.** » Fri Dec 21, 2018 12:07 am

Good old Chris the Waddler what a mistaken appointment he turned out to be

AfloatinClaret · Post by **AfloatinClaret** » Fri Dec 21, 2018 12:12 am

TheFamilyCat wrote:You obviously weren't at Bramall Lane.

He wasn't 'bad' that day,just p****d!

Re: the £20k a week wage it probably wasn't as expensive as it sounded, I understand that he was on a 'pay if played' contract and he did do some useful stuff and his name certainly put a lot of bums on seats, not least that day at Bramhall Lane for which I was reliably informed at the time we wouldn't have played him, but Sheff Utd picked-up a large (whole?) proportion of his wages for that game and heavily marketed his appearance on local TV and radio

Goodclaret · Post by **Goodclaret** » Fri Dec 21, 2018 12:13 am

South West Claret. wrote:Good old Chris the Waddler what a mistaken appointment he turned out to be

He was just too good for us ........ honest!

What a shambles he was. I remember not scoring a league goal for about 8 games under him, we finally scored our first goal at York which I missed due to the supporters coach I was on being late. We finally got in just before half time to then see us concede 3 goals. How we stopped up that season only Andy Cooke, Andy Payton and Glen Little know!

TheFamilyCat · Post by **TheFamilyCat** » Fri Dec 21, 2018 7:13 am

AfloatinClaret wrote:He wasn't 'bad' that day,just p****d!

Re: the £20k a week wage it probably wasn't as expensive as it sounded, I understand that he was on a 'pay if played' contract and he did do some useful stuff and his name certainly put a lot of bums on seats, not least that day at Bramhall Lane for which I was reliably informed at the time we wouldn't have played him, but Sheff Utd picked-up a large (whole?) proportion of his wages for that game and heavily marketed his appearance on local TV and radio

Are you suggesting that Stan picked a visibly drunk Gazza in a must-win game because Sheffield United paid us to? The same Sheffield United who at the time were managed by Neil Warnock, Stan's arch enemy.

I'd love to know who your "reliable" information came from.

Bordeauxclaret · Post by **Bordeauxclaret** » Fri Dec 21, 2018 7:42 am

AfloatinClaret wrote:He wasn't 'bad' that day,just p****d!

It’s not fair to say he was bad.
Absolutely abysmal is closer to describing whatever that was he produced that day.

Silkyskills1 · Post by **Silkyskills1** » Fri Dec 21, 2018 9:53 am

Bordeauxclaret wrote:It’s not fair to say he was bad.
Absolutely abysmal is closer to describing whatever that was he produced that day.

I remember both Glen Little and Paul Weller being out that day due to injury and it showed. It was also the fixture where Stan displayed his disapproval of their management team,especially Kevin Blackwell. But you are right about Gascoigne that day. The game just went on around him so we were,effectively, playing with 10 men. A display that is virtually impossible to describe to anyone who wasn't there.

Bordeauxclaret · Post by **Bordeauxclaret** » Fri Dec 21, 2018 10:50 am

I think the Blackwell incident, if it ever happened, might have been the season before.

tiger76 · Post by **tiger76** » Fri Dec 21, 2018 11:07 am

Goodclaret wrote:At least we got them back a wee bit later on by selling Ian Moore to them for £50k. I know we paid £1m for him but he was, literally, worth about one packet of salt and vinegar crisps at the time and we managed to get some actual money for him

God forgot about Ian Moore,wasn't he our record signing at the time,he was quick but another who couldn't understand the offside rule.

Silkyskills1 · Post by **Silkyskills1** » Fri Dec 21, 2018 11:48 am

Saw Ian Moore at the recent charity game for Lenny Johnrose and he didn't look any different to when he signed for us some 18 years ago.

Herts Clarets · Post by **Herts Clarets** » Fri Dec 21, 2018 11:52 am

Was Gazza worse at Sheffield than he was at Grimsby? Him and Nik the Greek were shocking that day.

ClaretTony · Post by **ClaretTony** » Fri Dec 21, 2018 12:03 pm

Herts Clarets wrote:Was Gazza worse at Sheffield than he was at Grimsby? Him and Nik the Greek were shocking that day.

NTG was a dreadful goalkeeper but as for Gazza, he was horrendous at Sheffield United. At least he had an excuse at Grimsby in that we were already 3-0 down when he came on. I suspect he wasn't sober on either occasion.

Quicknick · Post by **Quicknick** » Fri Dec 21, 2018 12:07 pm

Tony Hancock was a massive disappointment, but the worst? No, he had some skill. Select from all but three of the 86/87 team.

Quicknick · Post by **Quicknick** » Fri Dec 21, 2018 12:09 pm

Tall Paul wrote:Jeff Hendrick

Ridiculous post. Unless it's a joke.

Spike · Post by **Spike** » Fri Dec 21, 2018 12:58 pm

Joe Gallagher

but some other shockers who have not been mentioned include Gary Rowell , Peter Daniel , Mark Kendall, Peter Devine.

Paul Stewart was an embarrassment

ClaretTony · Post by **ClaretTony** » Fri Dec 21, 2018 1:37 pm

For those of us who were around in the second half of the 1980s, the selected player has to come from that group. So many of them to choose from. For those who weren't around at that time, just be very thankful you didn't have to watch some of the garbage we had.