MAN RULES ...

[bfccrazy]

MAN RULES

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear 'the rules' from the female side
Now here are the rules from the male side

These are our rules!

Please note. These are all numbered #1 on purpose!

1. Men are not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1.. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we...

1. All men see in only 16 colours, like windows default settings..
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear..

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...really.

1.. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as science and technology, football or motor sports.

1. You have enough clothes.

1 .. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!

1.. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.. But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping...



Any to add?

[theroyaldyche]

Lost interest after 2nd one

[bfccrazy]

Lost interest after 2nd one

You mean 1st one?

[Claret]

Ha ha
Excellent list bfc crazy.

[Guich]

I think you've been feminized without realising it bfccrazy

[Bosscat]

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How about these rules

[moaninclaret]

No man rules in our house, I do as im told, I tell the missus she looks lovely everyday, in return she lets me have a season ticket every year and she lets me watch as much football as I want, lets me go on away games, and shes a great cook, a bit of serious crawling goes a long way to a quite, peaceful life, try it bfccrazy it might just make your life a bit more bearable.

[bfccrazy]

I think you've been feminized without realising it bfccrazy

I did wonder why I got odd looks in my bikini.

[bfccrazy]

No man rules in our house, I do as im told, I tell the missus she looks lovely everyday, in return she lets me have a season ticket every year and she lets me watch as much football as I want, lets me go on away games, and shes a great cook, a bit of serious crawling goes a long way to a quite, peaceful life, try it bfccrazy it might just make your life a bit more bearable.

Think all of us know where we stand - which is why i posted this on here where the missus won’t appear

[moaninclaret]

Nice one bfcclaret, aye most of us know we stand with the missus, the wife has just read my post and shes stopping sex for a week, I told her I wasn't. I enjoyed your post cheers.

[spadesclaret]

" You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself."

Mr. spades wants this one framed and hung on the wall

[dsr]

...
1. All men see in only 16 colours, like windows default settings
...

I think this one shows just how old a piece this is!

[Falcon]

If you ask us what we're thinking about and we say 'nothing' then it's usually one of two things

1. We were genuinely just thinking about nothing. We can do this for hours at a time.
2. It's a lot easier than trying to explain you were thinking about what you'd do to survive if a dinosaur with a machete suddenly burst in through the bay window.

[houseboy]

Women are as bad as men - they are just better liars (and yes I have said this to my wife). I once worked in an office where I was the only male and after a while I became like wallpaper - they stopped noticing me and started normal girly talk. FFS they are obsessed with sex. Really. Sex and relationships seem to be the main topic of conversation.

[Falcon]

I've even heard a rumour that women might even enjoy sex (not sure if it's true)

[Bertiebeehead]

I've even heard a rumour that women might even enjoy sex (not sure if it's true)

Lies

[moaninclaret]

Men like sex, women only like money, they talk about sex but offer them a f..k or a fiver and see what their answer is,lol.

[Bosscat]

Men like sex, women only like money, they talk about sex but offer them a f..k or a fiver and see what their answer is,lol.

Make sure its "or" you say and not "for"

Or a slap could be on the cards ...

Or on the otherhand maybe a f..k and all it cost it was a fiver

[andyh]

20141227_234038.jpg

How about these rules

Pedantically there are six not five women there

[Bosscat]

Pedantically there are six not five women there

Pedantry isn't becoming ... but can you explain how you found the 6th woman

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