Depression The silent killer

This Forum is the main messageboard to discuss all things Claret and Blue and beyond
DustyBawls
Posts: 638
Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2018 8:22 am
Been Liked: 156 times
Has Liked: 131 times

Depression The silent killer

Post by DustyBawls » Tue Apr 23, 2019 10:19 pm

Materialism doen't equal happiness - it buys you distractions.

Would anybody admit tonight that they suffer from depression? That means (and I have to say this because the average IQ isn't high enough) if you don't suffer, don't respond.
These 2 users liked this post: JamesSherbourne joey13

GodIsADeeJay81
Posts: 14562
Joined: Thu Feb 01, 2018 9:55 am
Been Liked: 3435 times
Has Liked: 6339 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by GodIsADeeJay81 » Tue Apr 23, 2019 10:20 pm

Yeah, I've been in some dark places over the last couple of years and was really bad about 7-8 years ago when I asked for help.
This user liked this post: JamesSherbourne

ClaretAndJew
Posts: 8020
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 7:08 am
Been Liked: 2814 times
Has Liked: 503 times
Location: Earth

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by ClaretAndJew » Tue Apr 23, 2019 10:24 pm

More anxiety for me than depression, however, I do get into dark frames of mind during my time.

I've felt odd since I was in my mid teens and between then and my early 20s I had major panic attacks at least three times a week. It was awful.

Now I'm in my early 30s I feel a lot more calm and relaxed but have had slip ups here and there.

I was on medication for a while in my late 20s which sort of helped but counselling was what got me on track.

I still get the odd feeling that life is pointless and when there are bad news days or if I just have an off day I sometimes wish I wasn't around, not in a suicidal way more in a wish I wasn't born way.

There is always help out there for people and if anyone reading is in need then go speak to someone, anyone, there's help available.
These 2 users liked this post: Burnley1989 JamesSherbourne

Burnley1989
Posts: 7345
Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2018 2:19 am
Been Liked: 2274 times
Has Liked: 2153 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by Burnley1989 » Tue Apr 23, 2019 10:24 pm

DustyBawls wrote:Materialism doen't equal happiness - it buys you distractions.

Would anybody admit tonight that they suffer from depression? That means (and I have to say this because the average IQ isn't high enough) if you don't suffer, don't respond.
Yeah, I’d say I have over the past few years. I changed jobs and decided to get fit which has helped as I’m nowhere near as down as I was last year.

I know I need to watch it though
This user liked this post: JamesSherbourne

JamesSherbourne
Posts: 311
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 12:49 pm
Been Liked: 300 times
Has Liked: 96 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by JamesSherbourne » Tue Apr 23, 2019 10:33 pm

I have struggled on and off for probably 20 years. 40 now and had a really tough few years with a marriage break up and a lot of serious family health issue’s this last 6 months with my 13 year old daughter. I’ve got used to the signs and definitely feel that exercise helps massively for me. Also knocking the drink on the head - it might feel like an escape when your low but it’s actually digging you deeper in my experience. I’ve got to say too that having an interest or hobby ( BFC ) has kept me going over the last 2 years especially.

boatshed bill
Posts: 15108
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 10:47 am
Been Liked: 3138 times
Has Liked: 6682 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by boatshed bill » Tue Apr 23, 2019 10:38 pm

For anyone who suffers from depression, the release of endorphins through exercise certainly helps with the symptoms

FactualFrank
Posts: 25445
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:46 am
Been Liked: 6930 times
Has Liked: 11660 times
Location: Leeds

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by FactualFrank » Tue Apr 23, 2019 10:54 pm

I was talking to my dad when he came back from his normal Saturday night out for drinks with his mates at the golf club. I was chatting to him and ran upstairs to catch up with my mate who at the time was on Messenger - we're talking 5 years ago.

I ran back down to have another word and grab a beer, but as I walked through, I saw my dad's head turned to the side. My immediate thought? "He's fallen asleep quick!" - I walked around to the TV and I then noticed how his eyes were pointing down-left. I walked over and looked into his eyes - he was dead. I shook him but I knew he was dead. I phoned the ambulance and did CPR for what felt like a lifetime - probably half an hour. They eventually turned up - they took far too long - far far too long, but did everything they could.

Depression? This was 5 years ago and I still dream about him. You don't just get over something like that like the flick of a switch. People suffer for different reasons. When I go to bed at night, I always have the impression of his relaxed eyes in my mind - not easy to just magically disappear. It's something I'll have to struggle with for the rest of my life.

DustyBawls
Posts: 638
Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2018 8:22 am
Been Liked: 156 times
Has Liked: 131 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by DustyBawls » Tue Apr 23, 2019 11:03 pm

FactualFrank wrote:I was talking to my dad when he came back from his normal Saturday night out for drinks with his mates at the golf club. I was chatting to him and ran upstairs to catch up with my mate who at the time was on Messenger - we're talking 5 years ago.

I ran back down to have another word and grab a beer, but as I walked through, I saw my dad's head turned to the side. My immediate thought? "He's fallen asleep quick!" - I walked around to the TV and I then noticed how his eyes were pointing down-left. I walked over and looked into his eyes - he was dead. I shook him but I knew he was dead. I phoned the ambulance and did CPR for what felt like a lifetime - probably half an hour. They eventually turned up - they took far too long - far far too long, but did everything they could.

Depression? This was 5 years ago and I still dream about him. You don't just get over something like that like the flick of a switch. People suffer for different reasons. When I go to bed at night, I always have the impression of his relaxed eyes in my mind - not easy to just magically disappear. It's something I'll have to struggle with for the rest of my life.
People aren't interested in people who have depression though. It's the elephant in the room. Nobody gives a ****.

WestMidsClaret
Posts: 1468
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 5:55 pm
Been Liked: 534 times
Has Liked: 506 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by WestMidsClaret » Tue Apr 23, 2019 11:04 pm

I've had anxiety and depression most of my life. Doesn't happen so much now but there are times when I'm right on the edge. I put it down to a chemical imbalance as there isn't any particular reason for it. It's a constant battle and is exhausting.
These 2 users liked this post: boatshed bill jdrobbo

FactualFrank
Posts: 25445
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:46 am
Been Liked: 6930 times
Has Liked: 11660 times
Location: Leeds

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by FactualFrank » Tue Apr 23, 2019 11:09 pm

boatshed bill wrote:For anyone who suffers from depression, the release of endorphins through exercise certainly helps with the symptoms
That's a very very temporary fix. Which isn't the answer.

boatshed bill
Posts: 15108
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 10:47 am
Been Liked: 3138 times
Has Liked: 6682 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by boatshed bill » Tue Apr 23, 2019 11:09 pm

[quote="WestMidsClaret"]I've had anxiety and depression most of my life. Doesn't happen so much now but there are times when I'm right on the edge. I put it down to a chemical imbalance as there isn't any particular reason for it. It's a constant battle and is exhausting.[/quote

Agree with this totally, it's impossible to identify what triggers it.

boatshed bill
Posts: 15108
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 10:47 am
Been Liked: 3138 times
Has Liked: 6682 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by boatshed bill » Tue Apr 23, 2019 11:11 pm

FactualFrank wrote:That's a very very temporary fix. Which isn't the answer.
Precisely what I was trying to say, Frank. I do a lot of exercise and know what it can do, and know its limits
These 3 users liked this post: FactualFrank Croydon Claret Croydon Claret

FactualFrank
Posts: 25445
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:46 am
Been Liked: 6930 times
Has Liked: 11660 times
Location: Leeds

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by FactualFrank » Tue Apr 23, 2019 11:13 pm

PTSD can make a lot of people depressed.

WestMidsClaret
Posts: 1468
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 5:55 pm
Been Liked: 534 times
Has Liked: 506 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by WestMidsClaret » Tue Apr 23, 2019 11:16 pm

It's a cliche but is definitely true. IT HELPS TO TALK. I never used to tell anyone. Now I tell whoever wants to listen :lol:
It's just getting over that very big hurdle of opening up to people. Nothing to be ashamed of. The quicker you learn that the ever so slightly easier it is. And anything that makes it easier can only be a good thing no matter how small.
This user liked this post: FactualFrank

FactualFrank
Posts: 25445
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:46 am
Been Liked: 6930 times
Has Liked: 11660 times
Location: Leeds

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by FactualFrank » Tue Apr 23, 2019 11:24 pm

WestMidsClaret wrote:It's a cliche but is definitely true. IT HELPS TO TALK. I never used to tell anyone. Now I tell whoever wants to listen :lol:
It's just getting over that very big hurdle of opening up to people. Nothing to be ashamed of. The quicker you learn that the ever so slightly easier it is. And anything that makes it easier can only be a good thing no matter how small.
So you're basically saying... talk to Frank. I'm actually the answer to my own problem!

DustyBawls
Posts: 638
Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2018 8:22 am
Been Liked: 156 times
Has Liked: 131 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by DustyBawls » Tue Apr 23, 2019 11:34 pm

People don't care about people who are depressed they couldnt care less. Yet as soon as their family member gets cancer everything changes. It's no different in the fact it's an illness.

No Ney Never
Posts: 2637
Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2016 10:31 pm
Been Liked: 894 times
Has Liked: 328 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by No Ney Never » Wed Apr 24, 2019 1:30 am

It would be nice if depression and/or anxiety were caused or the result of one single thing, problem is, it isn't.
We're all different with life changing experiences that affect our view of ourselves and the world in which we live.
What triggers you to feel depression or anxiety could be completely different to what does it for me, even though the end game is that we still feel the same way about ourselves.
You may have had experiences that have had a marked affect on you that I may think nothing of, conversely, you could think the same of me.
You may have been feeling this way for years, it may be something that's relatively new.
Some people have grown up in social circles where you aren't meant to think of yourself as anything other than hard, so to openly talk about mental issues, you fear it makes you look weak. For some, it's being told that you should keep a stiff upper lip and that showing your feelings is frowned upon. All sorts of reasons why some people don't or won't open up, f**k 'em, you only get one life so do it for yourself.
Don't just be a reader hoping to identify with what someone else has posted or a listener hoping to hear a story that resonates, there are more people who want to listen to what you are experiencing than you think. Talk about it, share what you're feeling. Just that alone can help relieve you of some of the weight on your mind. The more you talk about it, the more you come to realise just how many people have or had issues they too struggle with.
This user liked this post: Suratclaret

vancouverclaret
Posts: 272
Joined: Fri Aug 25, 2017 3:39 am
Been Liked: 68 times
Has Liked: 9 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by vancouverclaret » Wed Apr 24, 2019 2:02 am

No ney never you've hit the nail on the head.
Everyone's anxieties or depression are different.
Telling someone and talking about it helps.

Suratclaret
Posts: 1802
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 9:27 am
Been Liked: 332 times
Has Liked: 787 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by Suratclaret » Wed Apr 24, 2019 6:50 am

When I was suffering from quite serious depression,there were times when I wished I had a visible sign of illness like a leg in plaster or a row of stitches somewhere then no one would say "snap out of it" or "pull yourself together". I didn't initially want to go to my doctor in case work found out so I kept quiet and hoped my depression would go away. Of course, it didn't and it got worse. I wasn't sleeping, not eating properly and apart from work, I kept myself to myself. One night in the early hours of the morning I called the Samaritans and this was the first important step on the long, long road to recovery. They were brilliant as was my Doctor who referred me to a counsellor.
It took a long time before I felt I could see the light at the end of the tunnel but eventually I did.
Never...never underestimate the therapeutic effect of talking about matters. Do NOT suffer in silence.

gandhisflipflop
Posts: 5500
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 8:05 pm
Been Liked: 2317 times
Has Liked: 1399 times
Location: Costa del Padihamos beach.

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by gandhisflipflop » Wed Apr 24, 2019 7:39 am

I have suffered since the age of 15 with anxiety and depression. The last 6 years or so the anxiety and panic attacks have been less frequent but the depression still lingers. I used to suffer with severe chest pain. I remember going to Crewe away for the opening game of the season and by half time I was strapped to an ECG machine which has to be one of my more embarrassing moments as everyone wanted a look. My depression I find I have good days and bad days, some days I have a short fuse and just want to be left alone so I can calm my mind with quietness. I'm 30 next year and hoping as I get older I find the harder days easier.

dpinsussex
Posts: 3554
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 11:15 am
Been Liked: 1047 times
Has Liked: 1187 times
Location: Reading

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by dpinsussex » Wed Apr 24, 2019 8:13 am

Yes and I keep battling on. Talking does help. However you need supportive people around you.
Work wasnt the place for me to confide in my boss. Let's just say there are good bosses and bad bosses. Mine is most definitely the latter.

willsclarets
Posts: 1927
Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2016 10:06 am
Been Liked: 680 times
Has Liked: 133 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by willsclarets » Wed Apr 24, 2019 8:45 am

I find that it's not that people don't care, they just don't understand how depression can manifest itself in different behaviours, or a perceive there's a lack of purpose in trying to overcome it. To be fair if you haven't experienced it, empathising with how debilitating it is must be tremendously difficult.

I had a panic attack one day out of the blue, which I didn't know at the time would lead to a decade of depression and anxiety. I'm still untangling the wires to decipher what elements of my life mixed together in a melting pot to cause it and I'm still battling depression, so for my family and friends who knew me as a happy go lucky fella it was impossible to understand. It's hard to come to terms with the fact you've changed as a person, that even if you come through it the experience itself stays with you and colours your perspective.

The healthcare system is simply not set up to deal with mental health problems, I've read a lot about depression to try and understand it myself and we are so far away from effective treatment. I found it helped me to understand it better, so if anyone is keen I highly recommend the book Lost Connections as a starting point. Great read.

WestMidsClaret
Posts: 1468
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 5:55 pm
Been Liked: 534 times
Has Liked: 506 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by WestMidsClaret » Wed Apr 24, 2019 9:10 am

gandhisflipflop wrote:I have suffered since the age of 15 with anxiety and depression. The last 6 years or so the anxiety and panic attacks have been less frequent but the depression still lingers. I used to suffer with severe chest pain. I remember going to Crewe away for the opening game of the season and by half time I was strapped to an ECG machine which has to be one of my more embarrassing moments as everyone wanted a look. My depression I find I have good days and bad days, some days I have a short fuse and just want to be left alone so I can calm my mind with quietness. I'm 30 next year and hoping as I get older I find the harder days easier.

You know where I am if you need to chat mate.

TheOriginalLongsider
Posts: 2254
Joined: Sun Jan 24, 2016 10:41 am
Been Liked: 426 times
Has Liked: 219 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by TheOriginalLongsider » Wed Apr 24, 2019 9:44 am

Had it for around 5 years. I’m used to it now. I know it’s the depression rather than anyone else’s actions/words so I can deal with it. Only a couple of people know. I know there is a lot more empathy nowadays but I don’t think people really understand what it’s like. I always think it feels like grieving constantly although somebody dying was not what triggered it. For anyone suffering and hasn’t tried anti depressants, do give it a go. They do help, and give it some time to find the right dosage. My dosage is down to just 10mg from 30mg and that gets me by. Talking helps. I found talking to a counsellor easier than talking to someone who knows me, but everyone’s different

joey13
Posts: 7501
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 12:39 pm
Been Liked: 1767 times
Has Liked: 1230 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by joey13 » Wed Apr 24, 2019 10:01 am

I’ve suffered for a few years now got a lot worse 8 months ago when I was given 6 months , the fact I’m still here I suppose I should take as a positive but knowing it’s just around the corner I don’t think any amount of drugs are going to change my headset , some days I think it can’t come soon enough other days like Monday I think I have a lot to live for , regardless it’s out of my hands and in the lap of the gods , struggling big time today :(
This user liked this post: Wile E Coyote

LoveCurryPies
Posts: 4287
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2016 9:00 am
Been Liked: 1599 times
Has Liked: 679 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by LoveCurryPies » Wed Apr 24, 2019 10:03 am

FactualFrank wrote:I was talking to my dad when he came back from his normal Saturday night out for drinks with his mates at the golf club. I was chatting to him and ran upstairs to catch up with my mate who at the time was on Messenger - we're talking 5 years ago.

I ran back down to have another word and grab a beer, but as I walked through, I saw my dad's head turned to the side. My immediate thought? "He's fallen asleep quick!" - I walked around to the TV and I then noticed how his eyes were pointing down-left. I walked over and looked into his eyes - he was dead. I shook him but I knew he was dead. I phoned the ambulance and did CPR for what felt like a lifetime - probably half an hour. They eventually turned up - they took far too long - far far too long, but did everything they could.

Depression? This was 5 years ago and I still dream about him. You don't just get over something like that like the flick of a switch. People suffer for different reasons. When I go to bed at night, I always have the impression of his relaxed eyes in my mind - not easy to just magically disappear. It's something I'll have to struggle with for the rest of my life.

FactualFrank, first of all sorry for your Dad's passing. You paint a vivid picture and I'm sure many of us feel your sadness. However, it sounds like your father died painlessly and after a good day with his friends and enjoying your company to the end.

There will be many on here who lost their fathers following a disagreement or maybe they hadn't even seen them for a few years. We all would like to go back and maybe say something more loving.

My daughter is a nurse, and she often says "sometimes it's just their time to go....no amount of cpr or medical intervention works".

Be thankful you were there that evening and in the knowledge You did everything you could. Your father was obviously proud of you and I hope your depression improves over time. Part of him is still with you and always will be.
This user liked this post: FactualFrank

LoveCurryPies
Posts: 4287
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2016 9:00 am
Been Liked: 1599 times
Has Liked: 679 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by LoveCurryPies » Wed Apr 24, 2019 10:07 am

There has been quite a few threads about depression and that is a good thing. Hiding it away from family and friends is an old Victorian attitude and it is better to be honest and accepting of their support when times are bad.

There are millions of people suffering. Realising You are not alone really helps.

tim_noone
Posts: 17108
Joined: Wed Mar 29, 2017 8:12 pm
Been Liked: 4384 times
Has Liked: 15117 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by tim_noone » Wed Apr 24, 2019 11:20 am

joey13 wrote:I’ve suffered for a few years now got a lot worse 8 months ago when I was given 6 months , the fact I’m still here I suppose I should take as a positive but knowing it’s just around the corner I don’t think any amount of drugs are going to change my headset , some days I think it can’t come soon enough other days like Monday I think I have a lot to live for , regardless it’s out of my hands and in the lap of the gods , struggling big time today :(
ATB....Always enjoy reading your post..have a good Day!
This user liked this post: joey13

Rick_Muller
Posts: 6091
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 8:53 am
Been Liked: 2619 times
Has Liked: 6417 times
Location: -90.000000, 0.000000

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by Rick_Muller » Wed Apr 24, 2019 11:30 am

had many ups and downs over the past 15-20 years or so. Worst was about 10 years ago, I was sacked from my job; marriage broke down; lost being with my kids (that was the worst part) and got dragged from a bridge by my brother in law who found me just in time.

I think what helps me is knowing the difference between what I can affect and what I cannot affect. In that, I mean I can control my diet; my exercise; my way of thinking (to an extent...) but I cant control other people and how they interact with me, so I dont try to change them or affect them. Yes, its a real pain in the harris when someone does something that could affect my mentality, but I know that there is nothing I can do or could do to change something thats passed that has been done by someone else - so I tell myself "why worry about it", which as I get older works more than before - I think wisdom does come with age and there's no way of telling a younger version of yourself that fact.

To my friends and foes on here, live well, and be kind.

No Ney Never
Posts: 2637
Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2016 10:31 pm
Been Liked: 894 times
Has Liked: 328 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by No Ney Never » Wed Apr 24, 2019 11:33 am

joey13 wrote:I’ve suffered for a few years now got a lot worse 8 months ago when I was given 6 months , the fact I’m still here I suppose I should take as a positive but knowing it’s just around the corner I don’t think any amount of drugs are going to change my headset , some days I think it can’t come soon enough other days like Monday I think I have a lot to live for , regardless it’s out of my hands and in the lap of the gods , struggling big time today :(
Read your post just over an hour ago, went out to do a bit of weeding in the garden. I'm back on here because a few minutes ago as I was doing round the back of the greenhouse, it just popped in my head; Joey said he's struggling today, I hope it's not too much, I wonder how he's getting on?
These 2 users liked this post: joey13 jdrobbo

FactualFrank
Posts: 25445
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:46 am
Been Liked: 6930 times
Has Liked: 11660 times
Location: Leeds

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by FactualFrank » Wed Apr 24, 2019 11:52 am

joey13 wrote:I’ve suffered for a few years now got a lot worse 8 months ago when I was given 6 months , the fact I’m still here I suppose I should take as a positive but knowing it’s just around the corner I don’t think any amount of drugs are going to change my headset , some days I think it can’t come soon enough other days like Monday I think I have a lot to live for , regardless it’s out of my hands and in the lap of the gods , struggling big time today :(
I was never aware you had, what I'm guessing, the Big C. Sorry to hear that.
This user liked this post: joey13

joey13
Posts: 7501
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 12:39 pm
Been Liked: 1767 times
Has Liked: 1230 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by joey13 » Wed Apr 24, 2019 11:59 am

FactualFrank wrote:I was never aware you had, what I'm guessing, the Big C. Sorry to hear that.
Hi Frank ,thanks , it’s not the big C , numerous issues which has caused my heart failure, but hey I went to Bournemouth a few weeks ago after being told I wouldn’t be around so what do Doctors know :)
These 5 users liked this post: tim_noone FactualFrank Rick_Muller No Ney Never jdrobbo

tim_noone
Posts: 17108
Joined: Wed Mar 29, 2017 8:12 pm
Been Liked: 4384 times
Has Liked: 15117 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by tim_noone » Wed Apr 24, 2019 12:02 pm

joey13 wrote:Hi Frank ,thanks , it’s not the big C , numerous issues which has caused my heart failure, but hey I went to Bournemouth a few weeks ago after being told I wouldn’t be around so what do Doctors know :)
Good luck joey.. Keep it going!
This user liked this post: joey13

FactualFrank
Posts: 25445
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:46 am
Been Liked: 6930 times
Has Liked: 11660 times
Location: Leeds

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by FactualFrank » Wed Apr 24, 2019 12:06 pm

joey13 wrote:Hi Frank ,thanks , it’s not the big C , numerous issues which has caused my heart failure, but hey I went to Bournemouth a few weeks ago after being told I wouldn’t be around so what do Doctors know :)
Is it anything like Angina? Whilst the medical world are nothing like the technical world in terms of speed of advancements, one would think there are things that can be done to improve your condition?

claretonthecoast1882
Posts: 10088
Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2018 1:59 pm
Been Liked: 4161 times
Has Liked: 57 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by claretonthecoast1882 » Wed Apr 24, 2019 12:10 pm

joey13 wrote:I’ve suffered for a few years now got a lot worse 8 months ago when I was given 6 months , the fact I’m still here I suppose I should take as a positive but knowing it’s just around the corner I don’t think any amount of drugs are going to change my headset , some days I think it can’t come soon enough other days like Monday I think I have a lot to live for , regardless it’s out of my hands and in the lap of the gods , struggling big time today :(

Top marks on your openness and positive outlook. Good luck
This user liked this post: joey13

Aclaret
Posts: 4113
Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2018 3:16 pm
Been Liked: 1299 times
Has Liked: 1391 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by Aclaret » Wed Apr 24, 2019 12:11 pm

joey13 wrote:Hi Frank ,thanks , it’s not the big C , numerous issues which has caused my heart failure, but hey I went to Bournemouth a few weeks ago after being told I wouldn’t be around so what do Doctors know :)
I love and admire your attitude Joey, keep strong pal.
Log on to UTC when you're struggling if you can, there's always something or someone to put a smile on your face.
All the best.
This user liked this post: joey13

joey13
Posts: 7501
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 12:39 pm
Been Liked: 1767 times
Has Liked: 1230 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by joey13 » Wed Apr 24, 2019 2:40 pm

FactualFrank wrote:Is it anything like Angina? Whilst the medical world are nothing like the technical world in terms of speed of advancements, one would think there are things that can be done to improve your condition?
Hi Frank no it’s nothing like Angina , it’s called cardiomyopathy , apparently nothing can be done other than transplant but as I have other issues doctors won’t consider it , but thanks for asking and thanks to other posters for your kind words , I thought I was genuinely disliked on here and I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea but most of the negative stuff I’ve posted over the years has been tongue in cheek and I try not to do that now anyway , I don’t know what I would have done without this magnificent football club I have the privilege to support. :)
These 6 users liked this post: FactualFrank Aclaret TVC15 Rick_Muller conyoviejo longsidepies

FactualFrank
Posts: 25445
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:46 am
Been Liked: 6930 times
Has Liked: 11660 times
Location: Leeds

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by FactualFrank » Wed Apr 24, 2019 2:54 pm

joey13 wrote:Hi Frank no it’s nothing like Angina , it’s called cardiomyopathy , apparently nothing can be done other than transplant but as I have other issues doctors won’t consider it , but thanks for asking and thanks to other posters for your kind words , I thought I was genuinely disliked on here and I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea but most of the negative stuff I’ve posted over the years has been tongue in cheek and I try not to do that now anyway , I don’t know what I would have done without this magnificent football club I have the privilege to support. :)
I should be a GP as since 1999, I've read probably a library full of medical related books. I know it's regarding the heart muscle, and of course you need to take care of yourself with diet etc. You mention doctors as in the plural - how many have you talked to that have said this? Doctors will often say something with money in mind. Have you looked deep into talking to other doctors who might agree to putting you on the list for a transplant?

Burnleybabe
Posts: 327
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2016 9:45 pm
Been Liked: 225 times
Has Liked: 70 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by Burnleybabe » Wed Apr 24, 2019 2:56 pm

I suffer from BPD. I was finally diagnosed about 18 months ago.
I had a group therapy on Coping skills, then an introductory group lasting another 10 weeks to the treatment I now have.
I attend one to one, and group therapy every week, I am committed to at least 12 months of this treatment
Either of these two days can be very stressful, and and leave me feeling very down.
It is worth it, as I am learning to cope much better now.
I will always Suffer from BPD but by learning how to control it I should be able to have a more stable life.
This user liked this post: jdrobbo

FactualFrank
Posts: 25445
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:46 am
Been Liked: 6930 times
Has Liked: 11660 times
Location: Leeds

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by FactualFrank » Wed Apr 24, 2019 3:08 pm

LoveCurryPies wrote:FactualFrank, first of all sorry for your Dad's passing. You paint a vivid picture and I'm sure many of us feel your sadness. However, it sounds like your father died painlessly and after a good day with his friends and enjoying your company to the end.

There will be many on here who lost their fathers following a disagreement or maybe they hadn't even seen them for a few years. We all would like to go back and maybe say something more loving.

My daughter is a nurse, and she often says "sometimes it's just their time to go....no amount of cpr or medical intervention works".

Be thankful you were there that evening and in the knowledge You did everything you could. Your father was obviously proud of you and I hope your depression improves over time. Part of him is still with you and always will be.
The thing he did when he came in and it's something he's never done before - he played music on the TV. It would always be the golf highlights as he'd miss the Saturday/Sunday coverage as he'd be talking with friends in the club, so he'd come home and watch the day's coverage. But he put on a recorded performance by Roy Orbison as he was a fan of his music. We were chatting and, ironically, we got onto the subject of Tommy Cooper and how he died on stage. We chatted further and like I say, I went upstairs to chat to my mate online - came back down and he'd died. I just never expected it and it's definitely effected me. I'm a strong person, so I think I've just kept it inside and never told anybody about it fully. And I lost my mum to cancer when I was only 21, so collectively it's kind of built up.

lifelongclaret
Posts: 108
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 9:32 pm
Been Liked: 85 times
Has Liked: 29 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by lifelongclaret » Wed Apr 24, 2019 3:19 pm

Interesting topic and certainly it takes a brave person to admit certain aspects of mental health..

I suffer from depression and anxiety and on numerous occasions I have considered taking my own life or at least running away,
15 years ago my wife died aged 34 leaving me with a young 3 year old to raise on my own, I have managed to do that with some success, the young man in question is well known on twitter as a clarets fan and also the solo traveler who helped numerous clarets fans while on our Europe adventure,
My depression and anxiety is caused by bullying at work and in the past caused me to leave my dream job, I’m actually a award winning gardener ! Even now at my current work place I’m being bullied by a ex- con , who takes great pleasure in humiliation and fear tactics ,
I still on a daily basis consider suicide and I’m on anti depressants issued bye my doctor, after all loosing my wife , being on my own raising a young man, and being very unhappy at work aren’t a good combination, hopefully if I can change my job and be appreciated there may be a reason to carry on..
Last edited by lifelongclaret on Wed Apr 24, 2019 3:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
This user liked this post: edenclaret

joey13
Posts: 7501
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 12:39 pm
Been Liked: 1767 times
Has Liked: 1230 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by joey13 » Wed Apr 24, 2019 3:22 pm

FactualFrank wrote:I should be a GP as since 1999, I've read probably a library full of medical related books. I know it's regarding the heart muscle, and of course you need to take care of yourself with diet etc. You mention doctors as in the plural - how many have you talked to that have said this? Doctors will often say something with money in mind. Have you looked deep into talking to other doctors who might agree to putting you on the list for a transplant?
Yes mate I’ve been to Oxford main centre apparently, they said no

FactualFrank
Posts: 25445
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:46 am
Been Liked: 6930 times
Has Liked: 11660 times
Location: Leeds

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by FactualFrank » Wed Apr 24, 2019 3:24 pm

joey13 wrote:Yes mate I’ve been to Oxford main centre apparently, they said no
Do you think they've said that because of money, or because they genuinely think there's no point? How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

joey13
Posts: 7501
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 12:39 pm
Been Liked: 1767 times
Has Liked: 1230 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by joey13 » Wed Apr 24, 2019 3:25 pm

lifelongclaret wrote:Interesting topic and certainly it takes a brave person to admit certain aspects of mental health..

I suffer from depression and anxiety and on numerous occasions I have considered taking my own life or at least running away,
15 years ago my wife died aged 34 leaving me with a young 3 year old to raise on my own, I have managed to do that with some success, the young man in question is well known on twitter as a clarets fan and also the solo traveler who helped numerous clarets fans while on our Europe adventure,
My depression and anxiety is caused by bullying at work and in the past caused me to leave my dream job, I’m actually a award winning gardener ! Even now at my current work place I’m being bullied by a ex- con , who takes great pleasure in humiliation and fear tactics ,
I still on a daily basis consider suicide and I’m on anti depressants issued bye my doctor, after all loosing my wife , being on my own raising a young man, and being very unhappy at work aren’t a good combination, hopefully if I can change my job and be appreciated there may be a reason to carry on..
Respect
This user liked this post: FactualFrank

joey13
Posts: 7501
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 12:39 pm
Been Liked: 1767 times
Has Liked: 1230 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by joey13 » Wed Apr 24, 2019 3:28 pm

FactualFrank wrote:Do you think they've said that because of money, or because they genuinely think there's no point? How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?
59 , it’s because my kidneys, pancreas and liver are fcuked unfortunately oh and my thyroid which has caused all the issues in the first place

FactualFrank
Posts: 25445
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:46 am
Been Liked: 6930 times
Has Liked: 11660 times
Location: Leeds

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by FactualFrank » Wed Apr 24, 2019 3:37 pm

lifelongclaret wrote:Interesting topic and certainly it takes a brave person to admit certain aspects of mental health..

I suffer from depression and anxiety and on numerous occasions I have considered taking my own life or at least running away,
15 years ago my wife died aged 34 leaving me with a young 3 year old to raise on my own, I have managed to do that with some success, the young man in question is well known on twitter as a clarets fan and also the solo traveler who helped numerous clarets fans while on our Europe adventure,
My depression and anxiety is caused by bullying at work and in the past caused me to leave my dream job, I’m actually a award winning gardener ! Even now at my current work place I’m being bullied by a ex- con , who takes great pleasure in humiliation and fear tactics ,
I still on a daily basis consider suicide and I’m on anti depressants issued bye my doctor, after all loosing my wife , being on my own raising a young man, and being very unhappy at work aren’t a good combination, hopefully if I can change my job and be appreciated there may be a reason to carry on..
Do you think it's your wife passing away, or the bullying, or a mixture of the two that's caused you to feel this way? And regarding suicide - you have a son to look after. Always think of him when you feel like that.

Pstotto
Posts: 6224
Joined: Fri Nov 18, 2016 12:11 pm
Been Liked: 1024 times
Has Liked: 763 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by Pstotto » Wed Apr 24, 2019 3:40 pm

'All I need is the air that I breathe' - The Hollies

That is materialism.

Money can buy you so much, think of it as another incarnation. Only fools think 'Money can't buy happiness.'

DustyBawls
Posts: 638
Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2018 8:22 am
Been Liked: 156 times
Has Liked: 131 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by DustyBawls » Wed Apr 24, 2019 3:40 pm

I never expected this thread to take off and some wonderful posts from people reaching out and being honest
The worst kind of person is someone who judges others because none of us know what people's lives are like. Walk a mile in their shoes before judging
This user liked this post: joey13

LoveCurryPies
Posts: 4287
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2016 9:00 am
Been Liked: 1599 times
Has Liked: 679 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by LoveCurryPies » Wed Apr 24, 2019 4:34 pm

FactualFrank wrote:The thing he did when he came in and it's something he's never done before - he played music on the TV. It would always be the golf highlights as he'd miss the Saturday/Sunday coverage as he'd be talking with friends in the club, so he'd come home and watch the day's coverage. But he put on a recorded performance by Roy Orbison as he was a fan of his music. We were chatting and, ironically, we got onto the subject of Tommy Cooper and how he died on stage. We chatted further and like I say, I went upstairs to chat to my mate online - came back down and he'd died. I just never expected it and it's definitely effected me. I'm a strong person, so I think I've just kept it inside and never told anybody about it fully. And I lost my mum to cancer when I was only 21, so collectively it's kind of built up.
Emotions are strange things. Dad dies at 56, suddenly and it does hit you. While he slept in the hospital I had held his hands and looked at them for hours. Seeing closeups of male hands on TV really got to me for a couple of years resulting in floods of tears. Now my hands are now identical to his.

Mum died of cancer after an 8 year fight. I strangely have never cried and that makes me feel bad. Watching her in pain day after day for so long, it was a relief to her when she finally went. She'd prayed for weeks that each day would be the last. I managed to speak the words "Mum it's time to go find Dad" seconds before she died. I feel I did the right thing and that helps.
This user liked this post: FactualFrank

LoveCurryPies
Posts: 4287
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2016 9:00 am
Been Liked: 1599 times
Has Liked: 679 times

Re: Depression The silent killer

Post by LoveCurryPies » Wed Apr 24, 2019 4:36 pm

DustyBawls wrote:I never expected this thread to take off and some wonderful posts from people reaching out and being honest
The worst kind of person is someone who judges others because none of us know what people's lives are like. Walk a mile in their shoes before judging
Nobody should ever mock a person who suffers from depression. It ruins your life. It's the darkest place you will ever go and I wouldn't wish in on anyone. Count yourself lucky if you have never had it and hope you never do.

Post Reply