Depression The silent killer

[bfcjg]

Lifelongclaret that is such a tragic story but you have done a fine job with your son. Have you ever considered going self employed and you can control your own future ? Theres always posts on here asking for variousvtrades and skilled people to do work for them.

[FactualFrank]

Nobody should ever mock a person who suffers from depression. It ruins your life. It's the darkest place you will ever go and I wouldn't wish in on anyone. Count yourself lucky if you have never had it and hope you never do.

Absolutely spot on.

[Croydon Claret]

I've had it for nearly 40 years. It all started when as a 9 year old I had a "girlfriend" and my parents kept ribbing me about it. I became embarrassed about it, stopped talking her, and started isolating myself because of it. Since that time I always found it difficult to talk to people, or open up about anything, as the embarrassment and feeling that it was somehow wrong always came back so I pushed everybody away.

I guess that the isolation and mental battle of wanting to meet people, but having to reject them at the same time due to it feeling wrong, started the depression aged about 16 although I didn't realise it at the time.

After 6 years of being in a terrible dark place I tried to kill myself. It was something and nothing that tipped me over but I'd been on the cliff edge for a long time so it wasn't going to take much.

I went into some woods and started slitting my wrist. It wasn't a cry for help, I'd really had enough of fighting myself. After about 30 slashes I sat there and wondered if there really was a Grim Reaper, I was quite looking forward to meeting him. But nothing was happening really so I started on the other wrist.

By this time the adrenaline had worn off and it became difficult to carry on. Still nothing was happening, didn't know why then, still don't know.

Sat there for a while and realised that I had to make a decision to go home as I wasn't dying that night. I was gutted. Drove about 10 miles home, using one hand, and had to have the most difficult conversation opener with my mother.

Got referred for therapy. It didn't help at the time but we managed to figure out the root cause which did help in the long term

Contemplated doing it again for the next couple of years but then I had a sort of cathartic moment. I was sick of being so depressed and suicidal, I'd pretty much written off 10 crucial years of my life. So I decided that I would just try to accept that I was always going to find it difficult to talk to people, and that I was just going to see where life took me for a while

The only way I could do this mentally was to have a get out clause so that if things got bad again then I reserved the right to end it all. This way I was living each day on MY terms, not the terms of the black dog that had haunted my life up to then.

27 years later and I haven't really thought about killing myself since but I still have never ruled it out. Every day in my life is because I choose to be here

Fortunately the depression doesn't affect me anything like it did, although it does come back occasionally for no apparent reason

I've got some amazing scars on my wrists. Don't openly show them to anybody, but I don't regret them being there either. They're my reminder of how I took on the biggest battle of my life and won.

[WestMidsClaret]

If someone mocks or doesn't even try to understand how depression impacts a life then they're probably not worth knowing and in actual fact probably have more issues then you.

[elwaclaret]

Depression is very real and truly horrific. However the term is being overused to describe “low mood”. It is a dumbing down that is doing very poorly people a disservice. It is time people stopped changing names for the “pc”. I was severe clinically depression on the version of manic... Bringng on a mental breakdown.... it left me of little memory of a good part of ten years of my life.... that is not the same as being “fed up” once in a while.

[FactualFrank]

If someone mocks or doesn't even try to understand how depression impacts a life then they're probably not worth knowing and in actual fact probably have more issues then you.

If someone does that, that's shocking.

[beddie]

I have so much respect for everyone on here explaining their own situation. Talking to someone about your concerns is so important so for those who have always intended to do it once you have read this post pick up the phone or call on someone you know and open up to them. joey13. As hard as it must be try to stay positive, I know it's easy for me to say that but positive thoughts will make you feel so much better in yourself. lifelongclaret. You have done so well since you lost your wife, especially bringing up your Son. If I can offer any advice it would be to pack your job in immediately, no one should be subjected to what you're going through. I know it's not that easy to walk away from a paid job but your health is so much more important just now and hopefully another more suitable work position will turn up. I really hope so. Once you've got the bully out of your life you will feel so much better and hopefully start to enjoy life again. To you, joey13 and everyone on here I will say a prayer for you all tonight.

[Aclaret]

Well said Beddie. Agree with every word.

[WestMidsClaret]

If someone does that, that's shocking.

There are plenty out there that do. Mainly because they are uneducated/uncomfortable. I don't necessarily dislike these people as like I said they don't know any better and they won't impact my life anyway. But in saying all that it can make sufferers feel even worse which then leads to a feeling of hopelessness. The biggest impact is probably on our partners/families. I don't envy them at all.

[Pimlico_Claret]

I have so much respect for everyone on here explaining their own situation. Talking to someone about your concerns is so important so for those who have always intended to do it once you have read this post pick up the phone or call on someone you know and open up to them. joey13. As hard as it must be try to stay positive, I know it's easy for me to say that but positive thoughts will make you feel so much better in yourself. lifelongclaret. You have done so well since you lost your wife, especially bringing up your Son. If I can offer any advice it would be to pack your job in immediately, no one should be subjected to what you're going through. I know it's not that easy to walk away from a paid job but your health is so much more important just now and hopefully another more suitable work position will turn up. I really hope so. Once you've got the bully out of your life you will feel so much better and hopefully start to enjoy life again. To you, joey13 and everyone on here I will say a prayer for you all tonight.

I walked away from my well paid job as a dentist because I knew it was slowly killing me. Couldn't sleep on Sunday nights, feeling physically sick at the thought of going into work, got ridiculous tbh. Everyone has a different reason for their personal depression, and there are never any easy answers, but for me, I knew it was my job. Packed it in,readjusted my lifestyle, and now I'm one of the happiest people I know.

[FactualFrank]

I walked away from my well paid job as a dentist because I knew it was slowly killing me. Couldn't sleep on Sunday nights, feeling physically sick at the thought of going into work, got ridiculous tbh. Everyone has a different reason for their personal depression, and there are never any easy answers, but for me, I knew it was my job. Packed it in,readjusted my lifestyle, and now I'm one of the happiest people I know.

What do you do now? I've been wealthy to earning pretty much bugger all. Earned £15k a month and earned next to nothing. I don't care what people say, money doesn't make you happy, the OP is spot on. If anybody is down, speak to people.

[Pimlico_Claret]

What do you do now? I've been wealthy to earning pretty much bugger all. Earned £15k a month and earned next to nothing. I don't care what people say, money doesn't make you happy, the OP is spot on. If anybody is down, speak to people.

Money helps practically, obviously, but ultimately doesn't make you happy. Counter point is that for some people, lack of money can be the cause of problems, so nothing is straightforward. I do odd jobs earning enough to keep me happy, I'm lucky, but everyone's circumstances are different. One thing is for sure, nowhere near enough resources are available to help people.

[Wile E Coyote]

I’ve suffered for a few years now got a lot worse 8 months ago when I was given 6 months , the fact I’m still here I suppose I should take as a positive but knowing it’s just around the corner I don’t think any amount of drugs are going to change my headset , some days I think it can’t come soon enough other days like Monday I think I have a lot to live for , regardless it’s out of my hands and in the lap of the gods , struggling big time today

very profound joey, hoping there are better days ahead.

[WestMidsClaret]

Just bumping this up due to the dickheads advertising that they're drug dealers.

[gandhisflipflop]

You know where I am if you need to chat mate.

Thanks stu. Likewise mate.

[Pstotto]

'Cheer up'

We've all met them...

[jrgbfc]

Interesting topic and certainly it takes a brave person to admit certain aspects of mental health..

I suffer from depression and anxiety and on numerous occasions I have considered taking my own life or at least running away,
15 years ago my wife died aged 34 leaving me with a young 3 year old to raise on my own, I have managed to do that with some success, the young man in question is well known on twitter as a clarets fan and also the solo traveler who helped numerous clarets fans while on our Europe adventure,
My depression and anxiety is caused by bullying at work and in the past caused me to leave my dream job, I’m actually a award winning gardener ! Even now at my current work place I’m being bullied by a ex- con , who takes great pleasure in humiliation and fear tactics ,
I still on a daily basis consider suicide and I’m on anti depressants issued bye my doctor, after all loosing my wife , being on my own raising a young man, and being very unhappy at work aren’t a good combination, hopefully if I can change my job and be appreciated there may be a reason to carry on..

No job is worth making yourself miserable over mate. If it's really that bad get out, and leave the idiots at your old workplace to it. If you're an award winning gardener I'm sure you'd find work easy enough, especially at this time of year.