Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

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Pstotto
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Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by Pstotto » Thu Jul 04, 2019 7:26 pm

https://youtu.be/EXQdLpq4F8E" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

For adults only, comedy sketch.

If you are easily offended then don't click on the link.

ClaretAndJew
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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by ClaretAndJew » Thu Jul 04, 2019 7:30 pm

Even if you're not easily offended don't click on it.

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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by Pstotto » Thu Jul 04, 2019 7:34 pm

Yaboo sucks, typical C&J miserable posting... Ken Dodd's dad's dogs do your car wheel, pleeeeeeeeze.

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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by ClaretAndJew » Thu Jul 04, 2019 7:37 pm

If you're struggling with things mate I'd be glad to chat.

Pstotto
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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by Pstotto » Thu Jul 04, 2019 7:41 pm

Ugh, patronella condescender dirt ****, youiz and more humourless durge, I bet you're Irish.

You know the Irish don't have a sense of humour... But that's their sense of humour.

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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by ClaretAndJew » Thu Jul 04, 2019 7:43 pm

Yes. I'm Irish.

Pstotto
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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by Pstotto » Thu Jul 04, 2019 8:08 pm

I wonder if there's a deeper reason why C & J is in a hump, this evening...

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define. ... %20Johnson" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by Bosscat » Thu Jul 04, 2019 9:11 pm

Ffs will you two lovebirds get a room ...... :lol: :lol: :lol:

Pstotto
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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by Pstotto » Thu Jul 04, 2019 10:23 pm

We're not all like you and Waldorf, Statler.

You're one of those types aren't yr, who wants everyone to be like them...

Anyway, now that C & J has gone and sat back in the audience, we welcome our next guest, DONALD TRUMP!

He's going to show us how to make the USA great again:

https://youtu.be/tyVV_rB5Vqk" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
This user liked this post: Bosscat

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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by Pstotto » Fri Jul 05, 2019 2:25 am

Anyway, I saw that headline 'Touble in Blackburn' and I thought, it's not quite Camel at King's George's hall in the 70s, you know and I was getting a bit worried so I thought, I'd have Morrissey on next to see what he might do, but he couldn't make the show, so I thought I'd pretend, you know, think more poetic about stuff:

https://youtu.be/OvB_bw7O4hs" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Pstotto
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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by Pstotto » Fri Jul 05, 2019 12:28 pm

Right on to the next thing...er... We're having a pub-type quiz for one of Mike and Bernie Winters' lot, Schnorbitz has got a great grandson now and he needs a lot of food, so we're having a whip round in the studio and the first person to get the question right can have half the money, OK???????

We'll keep it to football and it's a bit of a cryptic guess-the-football team question just to make it a bit more difficult and I want a full answer:

"How many Dutch football clubs can you eat?'

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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by Claretlad » Fri Jul 05, 2019 12:58 pm

Fantastic..i reckon eight.

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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by 4:20 » Fri Jul 05, 2019 1:41 pm

Always said that my dream final meal on death row would be a Dutch football club.

I'm confident I could eat 9. Sorry Claretlad.

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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by Pstotto » Fri Jul 05, 2019 6:42 pm

They're good but they're not the right answer. You've got to name the club.

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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by 4:20 » Fri Jul 05, 2019 6:50 pm

Cambuur. Sounds cheesy.

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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by Bosscat » Fri Jul 05, 2019 6:52 pm

4:20 wrote:Cambuur. Sounds cheesy.
You wouldn't eat Ajax lol

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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by Pstotto » Fri Jul 05, 2019 7:38 pm

It's a cryptic clue.

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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by Pstotto » Fri Jul 05, 2019 8:02 pm

... Well you all seem to be struggling, looks like I might have to give the answer later but for now let's have another video to watch. This is callled 'The Eternal Sun Inn':

https://youtu.be/ta4hBneii_k" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by Pstotto » Fri Jul 05, 2019 10:05 pm

Right then I better give the answer: One and the club is...

Twente Enschede

They're quite nice you know, ensch.

A bit of ensch on toast or with pasta, tastes nice and if you have twente enschede, it's good for your carbs.
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Pstotto
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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by Pstotto » Sat Jul 06, 2019 11:52 am

Ok, we better have another question:

"What football team did I sometimes sit next to, on the school bus?'

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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by TheFamilyCat » Sat Jul 06, 2019 7:48 pm

Dunno but I think you have snorted Ajax.

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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by Pstotto » Sat Jul 06, 2019 8:48 pm

it's good but it's not the right answer. Ok, here we go... Gill Ingham (really :D)

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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by Pstotto » Sat Jul 06, 2019 8:54 pm

Anyway while I'm at it and seeing how Burnley are poor I thought of a song. I was on a train and there was this foreign bloke loudly playing and listening to an oooh Tiago Silva number (puke) so I thought of this:

If I were a rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrich boy...
Al....al....la...lalalallala.... LALALALALALALALALA (very slow, then fast and clapping)
I would buy me a
Football club
But it wouldent be-ee
Paris St. Germain
OOOOOOH!

(repeat)

I almost sang it but I decided not.

Pstotto
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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by Pstotto » Sun Jul 07, 2019 10:09 am

... There's a bit more detail to the story, if you're interested:

'Mrs. Merton's Brother. 'Some Tadic'

https://youtu.be/zy02YvvZd0M" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by Pstotto » Sun Jul 07, 2019 1:00 pm

I had an idea it might just turn whine to water, you know... And perhaps confuse him a bit with an 'Is that Jewish or Muslim, what's that about?'... :-)

He'd be thinking who's he, what his team, Spursa what? Spursanara Summatelsetihad?

Anyway I kept the **** take to myself...

But I thought YEAH, new team... Spursanara Summatelsetihad.

I think I'll get a t-shirt made up with that on, for the summer holiday.

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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by Pstotto » Sun Jul 07, 2019 1:53 pm

Spursanara.jpg
Spursanara.jpg (61.64 KiB) Viewed 1395 times
Right. Done. That's going on a white Slazenger t-shirt from Sports Direct on Monday morning. Sorted.

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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by timshorts » Sun Jul 07, 2019 6:40 pm

Pstotto wrote:Right then I better give the answer: One and the club is...

Twente Enschede

They're quite nice you know, ensch.

A bit of ensch on toast or with pasta, tastes nice and if you have twente enschede, it's good for your carbs.
Is that it?
What about emmen thal?
Edam and gouda.
Maasdam has a side but its not called maasdam.
Presuma ly these teams may also have youth sides. They get called the same prefix as cheese. Jong ajax is ajax's youth team which plays in the equivalent of the championship. Jong maasdam is a youthful cheese. Jong gouda would therefore be both fc gouda's youth team and also an immature gouda cheese.

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Re: Mrs Merton's Brother: 'The Johnson Tapes'

Post by Pstotto » Sun Jul 07, 2019 11:03 pm

For next week's show, perhaps you can set the questions.

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