Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

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fatboy47
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Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by fatboy47 » Mon Aug 19, 2019 12:17 pm

I've been thinking that employing a maid may be a good way forward for me.

Wondering what the form may be, and if anyone can offer any good pointers.

It would have to be a "live in" kind of deal involving all the duties you'd normally expect of a wife.(bar one, obviously..well...initially at least)

Can I reasonably ask for a picture if I advertise?... I'm very particular about appearance, tending to prefer ladies with a more, shall we say, "generous" figure. I'd be happy to advise re my preferences in terms of their wardrobe..maybe even to subsidise some tasteful additions.

I dont want to end up interviewing any horny-handed old crones..or worse still some shaven headed feminist in doc martens. Is there a good way to weed these sorts out before I start?

Obviously, there's always a chance that these kind of situations can "develop" and expectations can be raised. Should I make it clear at the outset that there will be no prospect of any future obligations on my part?

All advice welcome.
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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by whiffa » Mon Aug 19, 2019 12:29 pm

Image
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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by ŽižkovClaret » Mon Aug 19, 2019 12:31 pm

You seem to be hinting at needing a whore, not a maid. Just be honest from the outset and go on some mail order bride site
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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by Hipper » Mon Aug 19, 2019 12:32 pm

Your request above is confused as at one point you are not interested in any relationship - sex, and then you might be, so much so that you are filtering the choices to someone physically desirable.

Do you want someone to service you sexually or do you want a helper around the house? Or both?

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by South West Claret. » Mon Aug 19, 2019 12:38 pm

Pick the bones out of them then FB
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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by wilks_bfc » Mon Aug 19, 2019 12:40 pm

I'm going to assume that link is NSFW

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by claretjohn33505 » Mon Aug 19, 2019 12:50 pm

You sound like a dirty old man to me , the worst kind.

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by tim_noone » Mon Aug 19, 2019 12:57 pm

claretjohn33505 wrote:You sound like a dirty old man to me , the worst kind.
Weinstein :roll:

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by TVC15 » Mon Aug 19, 2019 12:57 pm

Hells teeth this message board can be weird sometimes.

Just glad I wasn’t having my lunch when I read the OP
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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by andyh » Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:46 pm

I want to believe the OP is just a wind up. The alternative is unsettling and dripping slime.

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by Buxtonclaret » Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:58 pm

Interesting cast, Fats. You bored on that island?
8-)
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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by TheFamilyCat » Mon Aug 19, 2019 2:03 pm

I’m pleased he included (non-football) just to clear up any possible confusion.
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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by pushpinpussy » Mon Aug 19, 2019 2:21 pm

I lived in Thailand for a few years and it is pretty normal over there. She used to ask me on pay day (usually a Friday) if there was anything else she could do for me. She was looking to earn extra money so I would get a massage from her. There was a few issues with the language barrier on occasions but the arrangement suited both parties. Her cleaning was also very good which could have been a bit of a problem if it wasn't as I would have had to crack the whip and with her sleeping in my spare bedroom three times a week it would have felt uncomfortable. She also did the cooking and ironing.

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by Claretmatt4 » Mon Aug 19, 2019 2:23 pm

TheFamilyCat wrote:I’m pleased he included (non-football) just to clear up any possible confusion.
:lol:

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by FactualFrank » Mon Aug 19, 2019 2:23 pm

TVC15 wrote:Hells teeth this message board can be weird sometimes.

Just glad I wasn’t having my lunch when I read the OP
Have you any evidence to back that up?...

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by tim_noone » Mon Aug 19, 2019 2:37 pm

fatboy47 wrote:I've been thinking that employing a maid may be a good way forward for me.

Wondering what the form may be, and if anyone can offer any good pointers.

It would have to be a "live in" kind of deal involving all the duties you'd normally expect of a wife.(bar one, obviously..well...initially at least)

Can I reasonably ask for a picture if I advertise?... I'm very particular about appearance, tending to prefer ladies with a more, shall we say, "generous" figure. I'd be happy to advise re my preferences in terms of their wardrobe..maybe even to subsidise some tasteful additions.

I dont want to end up interviewing any horny-handed old crones..or worse still some shaven headed feminist in doc martens. Is there a good way to weed these sorts out before I start?

Obviously, there's always a chance that these kind of situations can "develop" and expectations can be raised. Should I make it clear at the outset that there will be no prospect of any future obligations on my part?

All advice welcome.
Fat Larry Banned.
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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by jrgbfc » Mon Aug 19, 2019 3:19 pm

Sounds like it's a Thai bride you're looking for rather than a maid.

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by ŽižkovClaret » Mon Aug 19, 2019 3:26 pm

FactualFrank wrote:Have you any evidence to back that up?...
The OP? :roll:
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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by The Enclosure » Mon Aug 19, 2019 5:59 pm

I can see this thread running a while . :D :D

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by Dark Cloud » Mon Aug 19, 2019 6:03 pm

Hands off my Lithuanian. She's bloody brilliant.

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by LeadBelly » Mon Aug 19, 2019 6:05 pm

A man needs a maid (Mr N Young).

My life is changing in so many ways
I don't know who to trust anymore
There's a shadow running through my days
Like a beggar going from door to door.

I was thinking that maybe I'd get a maid
Find a place nearby for her to stay.
Just someone to keep my house clean,
Fix my meals and go away.

A maid.
A man needs a maid.
A maid.
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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by claret3561 » Mon Aug 19, 2019 6:47 pm

I employed an eastern European lady to do the hoovering but had to get rid, turns out she was a Slovak
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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by Granny WeatherWax » Mon Aug 19, 2019 6:49 pm

I mean in all seriousness we have a maid and a gardener so if you need any advice you know where I am.

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by conyoviejo » Mon Aug 19, 2019 6:49 pm

I used to have a goblin teasmaid..
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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by Bosscat » Mon Aug 19, 2019 6:52 pm

conyoviejo wrote:I used to have a goblin teasmaid..
Isnt that what FB is looking for ....

A maid who at some point may take up goblin after making the tea ;)

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by Bosscat » Mon Aug 19, 2019 6:55 pm

fatboy47 wrote:I've been thinking that employing a maid may be a good way forward for me.

Wondering what the form may be, and if anyone can offer any good pointers.

It would have to be a "live in" kind of deal involving all the duties you'd normally expect of a wife.(bar one, obviously..well...initially at least)

Can I reasonably ask for a picture if I advertise?... I'm very particular about appearance, tending to prefer ladies with a more, shall we say, "generous" figure. I'd be happy to advise re my preferences in terms of their wardrobe..maybe even to subsidise some tasteful additions.

I dont want to end up interviewing any horny-handed old crones..or worse still some shaven headed feminist in doc martens. Is there a good way to weed these sorts out before I start?

Obviously, there's always a chance that these kind of situations can "develop" and expectations can be raised. Should I make it clear at the outset that there will be no prospect of any future obligations on my part?

All advice welcome.
I am sure there are websites you can advertise on FB why not google it :lol:

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by fatboy47 » Mon Aug 19, 2019 7:09 pm

Bosscat wrote:I am sure there are websites you can advertise on FB why not google it :lol:

Always keen to max up on available info Bosscat...it's just the PC brigade and the womens rights lobby with their thinly disguised bouts of penis envy that I'm keen to steer clear of.

I'm as broad-minded as the next chap, but some of these tattooed sights with rings around every orifice, scare the bejaysus out of me. Seems that simply wanting something a bit easier on the eye is no longer acceptable.
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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by Bosscat » Mon Aug 19, 2019 7:11 pm

:lol: :lol:
fatboy47 wrote:Always keen to max up on available info Bosscat...it's just the PC brigade and the womens rights lobby with their thinly disguised bouts of penis envy that I'm keen to steer clear of.

I'm as broad-minded as the next chap, but some of these tattooed sights with rings around every orifice, scare the bejaysus out of me. Seems that simply wanting something a bit easier on the eye is no longer acceptable.
:lol: :lol:

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by TheFamilyCat » Mon Aug 19, 2019 7:15 pm

claret3561 wrote:I employed an eastern European lady to do the hoovering but had to get rid, turns out she was a Slovak
Have you tried the Polish?
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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by Stevie2112 » Mon Aug 19, 2019 7:27 pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bORW_YEmHwY" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by tim_noone » Mon Aug 19, 2019 7:28 pm

fatboy47 wrote:Always keen to max up on available info Bosscat...it's just the PC brigade and the womens rights lobby with their thinly disguised bouts of penis envy that I'm keen to steer clear of.

I'm as broad-minded as the next chap, but some of these tattooed sights with rings around every orifice, scare the bejaysus out of me. Seems that simply wanting something a bit easier on the eye is no longer acceptable.
Is your position open for CDs? The Penis Admiration society could be just up your street. :D
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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by FactualFrank » Mon Aug 19, 2019 7:43 pm

ZizkovClaret wrote:The OP? :roll:
Way over your head pal. Way over your head.

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by Bosscat » Mon Aug 19, 2019 7:48 pm

TheFamilyCat wrote:Have you tried the Polish?
As long as he isn't Russian into things.......

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by FactualFrank » Mon Aug 19, 2019 8:00 pm

Bosscat, do you fancy being my maid for 4 weeks of the year? A back massage will be part of the contract.

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by Bosscat » Mon Aug 19, 2019 8:01 pm

FactualFrank wrote:Bosscat, do you fancy being my maid for 4 weeks of the year? A back massage will be part of the contract.
Nah ask Steve m8 ;) I am way way too busy :D

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by FactualFrank » Mon Aug 19, 2019 8:03 pm

Bosscat wrote:Nah ask Steve m8 ;) I am way way too busy :D
Was it the back that put you off? :D

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by Bosscat » Mon Aug 19, 2019 8:20 pm

FactualFrank wrote:Was it the back that put you off? :D
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Not my scene m8 tbh
:lol: :lol: :lol:

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by IanMcL » Mon Aug 19, 2019 9:47 pm

conyoviejo wrote:I used to have a goblin teasmaid..
Good gobbler or good tea?

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by Funkydrummer » Mon Aug 19, 2019 10:08 pm

Good god, I think I've seen it all on this board now. Just back from a weekend break and return to this.

Probably takes the biscuit for me in terms of cringeworthy content. :D :D

Good luck with the search though. :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by ŽižkovClaret » Tue Aug 20, 2019 7:07 am

FactualFrank wrote:Way over your head pal. Way over your head.
Sure it was Muchacho x

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Re: Employing a maid.( Non-football.)

Post by conyoviejo » Tue Aug 20, 2019 10:47 pm

IanMcL wrote:Good gobbler or good tea?
Both.. :D

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