FAO Spades - Your festive joke

[bodge]

In the absence of 1959-60 and as his number two in the ill fated campaign of Padiham it falls upon me to deliver your festive joke.

In order to gain maximum merriment you will need to recite this in a Scottish accent, so here goes :

What is the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney ?

A. Bing sings and Walt Disney.

I hope you like it.

Merry Christmas to you and Mr Spades from karenbodge and I.

[spadesclaret]

bodge, thank you! That is just about the best joke I have heard so far today.

Love to you and karenbodge. Mr. spades sends virtual hugs to karenbodge.

[Guller Bull]

Bodge - give Karen a big snog with tongues from me! (AKA Casper)

xxx

Auntie Spades - polite peck on your Norfolk cheek. Nephew style!

[bodge]

Done that Casper and i can assure you she wasn't expecting it !

Seasons greetings to all your clan in the borders.

[Guller Bull]

Good lad. Clan is well and both lads home and just chilling and having a few ( well many pre dinner drinks) whilst Sarah goes about her culinary wonderment. Since I first started replying to your post I got a shout from Sarah "John can you come and help me spatchcock the bird!" Actually wtf - so happy to oblige I trotted downstairs to find that spatchcocking involves removing the backbone and flattening out the bird before cooking. so you learn something everyday. Needless to say it was not a simple task and I actually used a jig saw to carry out the deed - happy days!

[Bosscat]

"John can you come and help me spatchcock the bird!"

That sounds like it should be on the thread about "Things said at both Christmas Dinner and having Nookie"



Merry Christmas one and all

[4:20]

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[Buxtonclaret]

Merry Christmas, Spades.
Hope it's a wonderful day.

[spadesclaret]

Merry Christmas, Spades.
Hope it's a wonderful day.

Thank you, Buxton. I am recently out of hospital and am not up to eating a full Christmas dinner. A bacon butty sounds about right

[Bfcboyo]

Knock knock

[Buxtonclaret]

Thank you, Buxton. I am recently out of hospital and am not up to eating a full Christmas dinner. A bacon butty sounds about right

Hope all OK Spades. No idea you'd been in dock. Though had missed your presence on the match threads.
I'd make the bacon butties!

[strayclaret]

In order to gain maximum merriment you will need to recite this in a Scottish accent, so here goes :

What is the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney ?


A. Bing sings and Walt Disney.

I hope you like it.

A classic first heard it circa 1971, just told it to my 36 year old. At least I found it funny
Thanks still smiling have a great Christmas

[spadesclaret]

Knock knock

Who's there?

Nicholas

Nicholas who?

Nicholas girls shouldn't climb trees.

[Bosscat]

Knock knock

Whos there

Spell

Spell who

W H O

[The Enclosure]

Hope your day has been full of festive spirit your Majesty and may the rest of the Christmas period be a joyful one for you and Mr Spades, helped of course by 3 points tomorrow.

[conyoviejo]

Quick tip for the fellas struggling to pick a last minute pressie for their wives. Just check their browser history. Apparently mines gonna love this.

[conyoviejo]

Merry Christmas Spades..

[Bfcboyo]

Alfinger

[Tricky Trevor]

Jokes with Scottish accent No.2.

A guy walks into an Edinburgh bakers and asks, “Is that a macaroon or a meringue?”
The sales girl replies,”No, you’re right it's a macaroon.”

Hope you’ve had a wonderful Christmas in the Spades household and better health for next year.xx

[Millertime v1.7]

Who's this spades fella? Don't think I've had the pleasure

[Tricky Trevor]

Who's this spades fella? Don't think I've had the pleasure

Mrs Spades is a national treasure on this board and its predecessor.
She must be treated with the utmost respect at all times, she deserves it.

[spadesclaret]

Mrs Spades is a national treasure on this board and its predecessor.
She must be treated with the utmost respect at all times, she deserves it.

Tricky Trevor is my favourite poster.