Gwyneth Paltrow

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conyoviejo
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Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by conyoviejo » Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:10 pm

Selling Vagina scented candles.. :o

Straight from the Manx kipper factory . :D

https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/2020/0 ... dle-vagina

DomBFC1882
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by DomBFC1882 » Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:15 pm

Jesus

snapcrackleandpop
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by snapcrackleandpop » Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:20 pm

Mines coming on Friday, I’ll let you know what it’s like as long as my gentleman’s paste doesn’t put it out.
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FactualFrank
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by FactualFrank » Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:20 pm

Roses are red,
And there's no scent finer.
Last edited by FactualFrank on Tue Jan 14, 2020 9:37 am, edited 2 times in total.

Somethingfishy
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by Somethingfishy » Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:30 pm

I'd rather find out how it smelled in person tbh :D

Jeremy_Bentham
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by Jeremy_Bentham » Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:33 pm

Somethingfishy wrote:
Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:30 pm
I'd rather find out how it smelled in person tbh :D
. thinks it may smell like the above posters username.
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LeadBelly
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by LeadBelly » Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:37 pm

Any scoffing or negative comment and you're a misogynist. No mistake.

Cirrus_Minor
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by Cirrus_Minor » Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:44 pm

"Scoffing" :o
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Bosscat
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by Bosscat » Mon Jan 13, 2020 8:33 pm

Jim Royle has brought out an aftershave..

"My Arse"
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bfcjg
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by bfcjg » Mon Jan 13, 2020 8:35 pm

it's called the Grimsby glimmer.

ClaretEngineer
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by ClaretEngineer » Mon Jan 13, 2020 8:36 pm

the candle contains hints of “geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed.”

Sounds like the guff you read on all this new age artisanal gin.

Can’t say I’ve ever some across one that smells like pot pourri. Savoury yes, florally fragrant no.

Wile E Coyote
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by Wile E Coyote » Mon Jan 13, 2020 8:55 pm

does it say anywhere how she intends to market them ? definately needs a catchy brand name.

I could help her design the wick.

Zlatan
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by Zlatan » Mon Jan 13, 2020 9:21 pm

Just asking for a friend... are they edible...? And do they actually tas.... smell like Gwyneth’s furrow...?

AlargeClaret
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by AlargeClaret » Mon Jan 13, 2020 9:48 pm

Rather unsurprisingly Gwyneths snatch aroma is not “ eau du fishmarket” but pretty much like your regular scrubber ...
“geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed.”

I often thought the same at 4am lapping away drunkenly on some tarts snatch after 14 pints.
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houseboy
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by houseboy » Tue Jan 14, 2020 9:27 am

So it's not gonna smell like the toilet seat on a Grimsby trawler then?
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Steve1956
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by Steve1956 » Tue Jan 14, 2020 9:29 am

snapcrackleandpop wrote:
Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:20 pm
Mines coming on Friday, I’ll let you know what it’s like as long as my gentleman’s paste doesn’t put it out.
Gentlemen's paste :lol:

Pimlico_Claret
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by Pimlico_Claret » Tue Jan 14, 2020 9:37 am

[quote=AlargeClaret post_id=1184865 time=1578952091 user_id=3700

I often thought the same at 4am lapping away drunkenly on some tarts snatch after 14 pints.
[/quote]
Have you ever considered writing romantic fiction :lol:
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Tricky Trevor
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by Tricky Trevor » Tue Jan 14, 2020 9:50 am

AlargeClaret wrote:
Mon Jan 13, 2020 9:48 pm
I often thought the same at 4am lapping away drunkenly on some tarts snatch after 14 pints.
Hi, Alistair. I thought you saved your best stuff for the lads mags?

Hopey1786
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by Hopey1786 » Tue Jan 14, 2020 10:16 am

This the weirdo that hangs around with her ex and his mrs

Steve1956
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by Steve1956 » Tue Jan 14, 2020 10:19 am

Hopey1786 wrote:
Tue Jan 14, 2020 10:16 am
This the weirdo that hangs around with her ex and his mrs
:lol: yea making genital smelly fragrances,it could be quite fun.wonder if they do a bellend fragrance?

Hipper
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by Hipper » Tue Jan 14, 2020 10:41 am

'The origin story of the name is pretty goopy: Paltrow and perfumer Douglas Little were working on a new fragrance and Paltrow suddenly said, "Uhhh...this smells like a vagina." '

According to the OP's link.

Reminds me of WW2 radar on RAF bombers:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H2S_(radar)

See 'Etymology'. Someone said about it's delay into production that 'it stinks' and so it was christened H2S - Hydrogen sulphide - rotten eggs or stink bombs.

Bosscat
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by Bosscat » Tue Jan 14, 2020 10:51 am

Steve1956 wrote:
Tue Jan 14, 2020 10:19 am
:lol: yea making genital smelly fragrances,it could be quite fun.wonder if they do a bellend fragrance?
One or two on here Steve have already patented that one ;) judging by replies to some posts :roll:

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Firthy
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by Firthy » Tue Jan 14, 2020 11:04 am

It all sounds a bit fishy to me :)

IanMcL
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by IanMcL » Tue Jan 14, 2020 11:30 am

houseboy wrote:
Tue Jan 14, 2020 9:27 am
So it's not gonna smell like the toilet seat on a Grimsby trawler then?
Maybe on a Sunday morning.
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AlargeClaret
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by AlargeClaret » Tue Jan 14, 2020 11:48 am

Gwyneth is probs one of those women that doesn’t even poo, unlike say Madonna who famously requested a fully private toilet facility in her Glastonbury rider due to previously dropping a huge log and clogging the backstage bogs at a concert venue .Though for someone who openly admits to drinking their own p1ss it’s not surprise . Gwyneths is no doubt some scented amber nectar from the goddess Aphrodite or suchlike

Steve1956
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by Steve1956 » Tue Jan 14, 2020 11:54 am

AlargeClaret wrote:
Tue Jan 14, 2020 11:48 am
Gwyneth is probs one of those women that doesn’t even poo, unlike say Madonna who famously requested a fully private toilet facility in her Glastonbury rider due to previously dropping a huge log and clogging the backstage bogs at a concert venue .Though for someone who openly admits to drinking their own p1ss it’s not surprise . Gwyneths is no doubt some scented amber nectar from the goddess Aphrodite or suchlike
I cant get the image of Madonna sat on the bog trying to depart with a huge log out of my head now,I can almost see her face grimacing

claretonthecoast1882
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by claretonthecoast1882 » Tue Jan 14, 2020 12:23 pm

Lets hope there is no lingering smell of the tree hugger chris martin on her candle

houseboy
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by houseboy » Tue Jan 14, 2020 12:38 pm

Fanny smelling candles are not a new idea. They were very popular in convents at one time I hear.

JohnMac
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by JohnMac » Tue Jan 14, 2020 1:14 pm

She's either going out with a Sommelier or she is lacking one of the five senses. Or more than likely both :lol:

Buxtonclaret
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by Buxtonclaret » Tue Jan 14, 2020 1:16 pm

Could add a whole new dimension to strip poker;
'... Call your Vagina Candle and, raise you The Wick-er Man...'

Hibsclaret
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by Hibsclaret » Tue Jan 14, 2020 1:21 pm

JohnMac wrote:
Tue Jan 14, 2020 1:14 pm
She's either going out with a Sommelier or she is lacking one of the five senses. Or more than likely both :lol:
I’ve always found that some are sommelier than others
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Longside4evr
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by Longside4evr » Tue Jan 14, 2020 3:12 pm

This is the out cum when you burn the candle at both ends :lol: :lol: :lol:

TheFamilyCat
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by TheFamilyCat » Tue Jan 14, 2020 3:20 pm

Maybe her fanny smells like wax.
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AlargeClaret
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by AlargeClaret » Tue Jan 14, 2020 5:01 pm

Steve1956 wrote:
Tue Jan 14, 2020 11:54 am
I cant get the image of Madonna sat on the bog trying to depart with a huge log out of my head now,I can almost see her face grimacing
Perhaps they’ll bring out a “ celebrity bumhole” airfreshner range? where you can impress friends and family by secretly spraying the bathroom with the erm “ after dump aroma of your chosen celeb “ and when they there say ” Feck me Steve whose been in here ?” You can nonchalantly tell them “ oh it’s just Madonna again she can’t half lay some cable that lass” ...
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Steve1956
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by Steve1956 » Tue Jan 14, 2020 5:52 pm

Lay some cable :lol:

Funkydrummer
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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by Funkydrummer » Tue Jan 14, 2020 6:49 pm

You are all a disgrace and should be ashamed of yourselves. :oops:

Fancy discussing such matters on a footy forum. Dear oh dear. :)

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Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Post by ŽižkovClaret » Tue Jan 14, 2020 6:50 pm

I'll always hold a candle for her. Just didn't realise she'd want me to hold it "there" so it picks up a whiff of her :lol:

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