If this has already done the rounds or been posted previously, apologies.


Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.

When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day.

One day Mike says, "Joe, we both loved football all our lives, and we played football on Saturdays together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's football there."

Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed, "Mike, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favour for you.

Shortly after that, Joe passes away.

A couple of nights later, at midnight, Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, "Mike, Mike."

"Who is it ?" asks Mike sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"

"Mike, it's me, Joe."

"You're not Joe. Joe just died."

"I'm telling you, it's me, Joe," insists the voice."

"Joe! Where are you?"

"In heaven", replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."

"Tell me the good news first," says Mike.

"The good news," Joe says," is that there's football in heaven. Better yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play football all we want, and we never get tired."

That's fantastic," says Mike. "It's beyond my wildest dreams !" "So, what's the bad news ?"



"You're in the team for this Saturday's match !!!"

And being heaven it would be a 3pm Saturday kick off!

Frightening

Kyche and Dlopp!

Steve1956 wrote: ↑

Mon Jan 27, 2020 10:33 pm

FB_IMG_1580164061904.jpg
Frightening

look like some ex-pat paedophiles in Spain...

Zlatan wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 28, 2020 12:38 pm

look like some ex-pat paedophiles in Spain...

Steve1956 wrote: ↑

Mon Jan 27, 2020 10:33 pm

FB_IMG_1580164061904.jpg
Frightening

That would be some manager Steve.

And by the way is it safe to say you have a little time on your hands these days?

Zlatan wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 28, 2020 12:38 pm

look like some ex-pat paedophiles in Spain...

Yeah!!!

houseboy wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 28, 2020 2:07 pm

That would be some manager Steve.

And by the way is it safe to say you have a little time on your hands these days?

All the time in the world Ian,at the moment I'm scouring old Rossendale free press's from 1967 online,some interesting court cases and names popping up did you know in 1967 you could go to Blackpool from Rawtenstall for 80pence return on Ellen Smith's

God,what those Rossy lasses would do for 80p.

If you're looking at court cases from '67 please ignore any that have my name connected to them, it wasn't me, honest.

Ellen Smith's - FFS there's a blast from the past. To put 80p (or old equivalent) into context, I left school 2 years after that and was working as an apprentice plumber for Rawtenstall council (yes even before it became Rossendale council) and got £4 -10 shillings a week (£3/19/6 after nat ins - no tax as I didn't earn enough). I took my pay home, unopened, and my mum gave me 10 bob a week spence. For 40 bloody hours of hard graft.

In the words of Monty Python - you tell that to the kids these days and they don't believe you.

Nowadays I take home £7-50 a week and my wife gives me £1 and a hard time. Oh the wealth.

Volvoclaret wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 28, 2020 2:48 pm

God,what those Rossy lasses would do for 80p.

Now stop that - you're talking about the woman I loved. And she loved me, I know because she said so. All those 80ps came from selling firewood and pummice stones - I know cos she said so.

houseboy wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 28, 2020 2:52 pm

If you're looking at court cases from '67 please ignore any that have my name connected to them, it wasn't me, honest.

Ellen Smith's - FFS there's a blast from the past. To put 80p (or old equivalent) into context, I left school 2 years after that and was working as an apprentice plumber for Rawtenstall council (yes even before it became Rossendale council) and got £4 -10 shillings a week (£3/19/6 after nat ins - no tax as I didn't earn enough). I took my pay home, unopened, and my mum gave me 10 bob a week spence. For 40 bloody hours of hard graft.

In the words of Monty Python - you tell that to the kids these days and they don't believe you.

Nowadays I take home £7-50 a week and my wife gives me £1 and a hard time. Oh the wealth.

You were Lucky. We lived in a cardboard box

Yeah, she had the hottest fire and lovely soft hands.......

Yer wife's too soft .

Steve1956 wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 28, 2020 2:24 pm

All the time in the world Ian,at the moment I'm scouring old Rossendale free press's from 1967 online,some interesting court cases and names popping up did you know in 1967 you could go to Blackpool from Rawtenstall for 80pence return on Ellen Smith's

By the way bud if you come accross the names Peter or David Carr in the court cases from around that time (usually involving assault) they were my cousins (or second cousins or whatever you call the spawn of your dad's cousin). I'm guessing ,long gone now as they were both older than me by some way. A couple of rascals they were who apparently used to be at the forefront of the after last orders fights at the old Astoria.

......a good ride all the way to Bollockpool. Good times. Tell that to the kids nowadays and they,d think you were an old perv.

Rubstuds wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 28, 2020 2:59 pm

Yer wife's too soft .

How odd - that's what she says.

And in 1966 it was 6/9 return to Blackpool on Fred Kirkham

Not going there, Steve, the P C brigade on here will go mental.

houseboy wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 28, 2020 3:00 pm

By the way bud if you come accross the names Peter or David Carr in the court cases from around that time (usually involving assault) they were my cousins (or second cousins or whatever you call the spawn of your dad's cousin). I'm guessing ,long gone now as they were both older than me by some way. A couple of rascals they were who apparently used to be at the forefront of the after last orders fights at the old Astoria.

Jock McKenna got drunk a lot back then he makes numerous apperances in the paper....remember him always wore a trilby.

Steve1956 wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 28, 2020 3:03 pm

And in 1966 it was 6/9 return to Blackpool on Fred Kirkham

I remember that, 69 did you say? Now going back to my lovely Ellen.

Join the queue HB, it stretches right around the bus station, busy girl our Ellen. 80ps at the ready.

Steve1956 wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 28, 2020 3:07 pm

Jock McKenna got drunk a lot back then he makes numerous apperances in the paper....remember him always wore a trilby.

I knew Jock quite well. Lived in Haslingden and absolutely hated coppers, attacked them on site when he was drunk, was was most of the time. Only a little guy but genuinely hard as nails. One of his sons, Sean, could have been an excellent boxer but I seem to think the drink got the better of him as well. Once saw him in a fight with another local hard case (name escapes me) that started in the Commercial and finished somewhere at the top of town, a real old time brawl like John Wayne and Lee Marvyn.

Steve1956 wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 28, 2020 3:07 pm

Jock McKenna got drunk a lot back then he makes numerous apperances in the paper....remember him always wore a trilby.

We turned out to a fire in the chip shop on Blackburn Rd, Hassy. Late at night.
Place(sic) is obviously shut. William wandering by decides he’s hungry, barges in and orders a fish supper. Well oiled he has no idea what’s been going on. After 10 minutes of debate the owner says he’ll make him them just to get rid of him. Another 10 minutes of him being belligerent whilst they are fried and wrapped. He comes out with them, opens them up and flings them at the fire engine. Happy chappy.

Tricky Trevor wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 28, 2020 4:51 pm

We turned out to a fire in the chip shop on Blackburn Rd, Hassy. Late at night.
Place(sic) is obviously shut. William wandering by decides he’s hungry, barges in and orders a fish supper. Well oiled he has no idea what’s been going on. After 10 minutes of debate the owner says he’ll make him them just to get rid of him. Another 10 minutes of him being belligerent whilst they are fried and wrapped. He comes out with them, opens them up and flings them at the fire engine. Happy chappy.