Where did house spiders live before humans built houses ???

What does an occasional table do for the rest of the time ???

Bosscat wrote: ↑

Sun Mar 08, 2020 10:46 pm

Where did house spiders live before humans built houses ???

What does an occasional table do for the rest of the time ???

Franks your man....

1) There weren't any.

2) Wait.

What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
What was the best invention before the wheel?

Goobs wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 09, 2020 12:58 am

What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
What was the best invention before the wheel?

to be fair, nothing was invented before the wheel because the wheel was invented about 832 years before God created the Heavens and the Earth.

Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Why is dyslexia so hard to spell?
Why does lisp have an S in it?
Why isn't phonetic spelt the way it sounds?

Why was there only one monopolies commission ?

Who do Grimsby fans use as an example when they want to use the “the likes of Grimsby on a Tuesday night” cliche?

Why don’t moths fly towards the sun during daylight.

Where do flies go in the winter time?
Why do pyjamas have pockets?
Why does a ruler have extra bits at each end?

And finally, the most intriguing question of all, when Cain was expelled from Eden and cleared off to the land of Nod he took himself a wife, where the f*ck did she come from?

What did we go back to before the Drawing Board was invented?

houseboy wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 09, 2020 1:19 pm

Where do flies go in the winter time?
Why do pyjamas have pockets?
Why does a ruler have extra bits at each end?

And finally, the most intriguing question of all, when Cain was expelled from Eden and cleared off to the land of Nod he took himself a wife, where the f*ck did she come from?

1. As someone who has been to a caravan and put the heat on in December, resulting in apparently (and maybe actually) thousands of flies that were all lined up in the cupboards, waking up, I can answer that. Mummy flies lay eggs that hatch but remain dormant until it gets warm.

2. Cain's wife was also his sister. Old Testament morals were not (shall I say, obviously) very Christian.

dsr wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 09, 2020 1:27 pm

1. As someone who has been to a caravan and put the heat on in December, resulting in apparently (and maybe actually) thousands of flies that were all lined up in the cupboards, waking up, I can answer that. Mummy flies lay eggs that hatch but remain dormant until it gets warm.

2. Cain's wife was also his sister. Old Testament morals were not (shall I say, obviously) very Christian.

So Adam and Eve had a daughter? What was she doing in the land of Nod? How did Cain wake her up? All will be revealed in The Bible 2 - the Second Coming.

houseboy wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 09, 2020 1:34 pm

So Adam and Eve had a daughter? What was she doing in the land of Nod? How did Cain wake her up? All will be revealed in The Bible 2 - the Second Coming.

He took her with him. Daughters were not often mentioned in detail, especially in the Old Testament. Joseph (he of the multi-coloured coat) had 11 (mostly half-)brothers but who knows how many sisters. Even in the New Testament, it gives the names of Jesus's four (half-)brothers, but only says that he had an unspecified number of sisters.

Why is there a d in fridge, but no refrigerator?

Why is queue spelt with a q then 4 silent letters?

Why is Zoey and Zoe pronounced the same, but Joey and Joe aren't?

Why is boot pronounced boot but book is pronounce buck?
Why are we innocent until proven gulity but not in the eyes of the inland revenue who demand you prove your innocence and are allowed to assume you are guilty until you do?

Lord Beamish wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 09, 2020 1:09 pm

Who do Grimsby fans use as an example when they want to use the “the likes of Grimsby on a Tuesday night” cliche?

Burnley!

houseboy wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 09, 2020 1:48 pm

Why is boot pronounced boot but book is pronounce buck?

That depends where you come from!

Why does a stitch in time save nine? Why not 8 or 10 or other numbers of stitches?

Why is a bird held in ones hand always twice as valuable as the two watching from the nearby bush?

Have they ever tried making broth on Master Chef?

houseboy wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 09, 2020 1:48 pm

Why is boot pronounced boot but book is pronounce buck?
Why are we innocent until proven gulity but not in the eyes of the inland revenue who demand you prove your innocence and are allowed to assume you are guilty until you do?

I know people who pronounce Book as in Boot Ian as well as Look as Luke.......

Why is planet Earth always depicted with the "northern" hemisphere upwards.
Why is the magnetic North Pole in the Southern Hemisphere.

IanMcL wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 09, 2020 9:09 pm

Why does a stitch in time save nine? Why not 8 or 10 or other numbers of stitches?

Why is a bird held in ones hand always twice as valuable as the two watching from the nearby bush?

Have they ever tried making broth on Master Chef?

Two your second question.cos you already have it?

Why is Reading pronounced Reading....and Reading pronounced Reading??

atlantalad wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 09, 2020 11:47 pm

Why is planet Earth always depicted with the "northern" hemisphere upwards.
Why is the magnetic North Pole in the Southern Hemisphere.

In medieval depictions the centre of the map was always Jerusalem. The modern depiction, is for maths to work. Equator timelines et al.

Bosscat wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 09, 2020 9:12 pm

I know people who pronounce Book as in Boot Ian as well as Look as Luke.......

Linguistic hangover from the french speaking south and Germanic (Anglo-Saxon as opposed to Norman) survival in the north. Most of Owd Lancashire dialect is Germanic and celtic/ Gallic in origin... as are lot of the word origins. It is not hard to speak in Lanky so as to be unintelligible to an American for example.

tim_noone wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 09, 2020 11:56 pm

Why is Reading pronounced Reading....and Reading pronounced Reading??

Same as explaining above. Germanic rather than french pronunciation. It started by German speaking Saxons serving french Norman’s, so the further north you got the more you got bastardisation in the language. Going back to mid 1700’s few south of stoke would understand a word we said. But it is ultimately why English is the richest language. Up here, our dialect threw in Gaalic and Celtic influences for good measure.

elwaclaret wrote: ↑

Tue Mar 10, 2020 12:15 am

Linguistic hangover from the french speaking south and Germanic (Anglo-Saxon as opposed to Norman) survival in the north. Most of Owd Lancashire dialect is Germanic and celtic/ Gallic in origin... as are lot of the word origins. It is not hard to speak in Lanky so as to be unintelligible to an American for example.

Bonus!!!

IanMcL wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 09, 2020 9:09 pm

Why does a stitch in time save nine? Why not 8 or 10 or other numbers of stitches?

Why is a bird held in ones hand always twice as valuable as the two watching from the nearby bush?

Have they ever tried making broth on Master Chef?

in answer to your 3rd question Ian, no, i presume it always got spoilt!

Also, I once saw a programme which stated that Scottish highlanders used the most accurate(consistent?) English pronunciation because they used the same 'oo' pronunciation for book, good,door,look etc.......although even they can't use an identical pronunciation for cough, rough, plough, dough, bough etc, I wouldn't have thought-oops, there's another

tim_noone wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 09, 2020 11:56 pm

Why is Reading pronounced Reading....and Reading pronounced Reading??

Old spelling if my home town was Redding.

tim_noone wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 09, 2020 11:54 pm

Two your second question.cos you already have it?

What if it is my bush?

IanMcL wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 09, 2020 9:01 pm

That depends where you come from!

Well done mate - I was hoping someone would say that. My mum always said booook.

Bosscat wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 09, 2020 9:12 pm

I know people who pronounce Book as in Boot Ian as well as Look as Luke.......

My mum used to say 'chimley' for chimney. I think it might have been a Rossendale thing.

tim_noone wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 09, 2020 11:56 pm

Why is Reading pronounced Reading....and Reading pronounced Reading??

Eh.....???

elwaclaret wrote: ↑

Tue Mar 10, 2020 12:15 am

Linguistic hangover from the french speaking south and Germanic (Anglo-Saxon as opposed to Norman) survival in the north. Most of Owd Lancashire dialect is Germanic and celtic/ Gallic in origin... as are lot of the word origins. It is not hard to speak in Lanky so as to be unintelligible to an American for example.

I once spoke some Lancashire dialect to my daughters and they hadn't clue what I was saying. They had a particular problem understanding why 'sithi' meant 'look over there'. When you get down to it it was a hell of an explanantion. Translated as 'see there' or 'look there'...I couldn't help but laugh.

IanMcL wrote: ↑

Tue Mar 10, 2020 1:01 am

What if it is my bush?

Mmm all this talk of birds and bushes makes me think of the time when...oh sorry.

When the radio DJ says '' You're listening to radio whatever'' how does he know you are?

houseboy wrote: ↑

Tue Mar 10, 2020 9:28 am

Eh.....???

Has in Reading a book.....and Beating Reading.come on houseboy

tim_noone wrote: ↑

Tue Mar 10, 2020 10:09 am

Has in Reading a book.....and Beating Reading.come on houseboy

Only joking mate. I have to pretend to be thick occasionally to let the others catch up.

houseboy wrote: ↑

Tue Mar 10, 2020 10:26 am

Only joking mate. I have to pretend to be thick occasionally to let the others catch up.

Ahhhhh well I pretend to be an Interleckedshoeal for the same porpoise

Timbob is just well.... Timbob

karatekid wrote: ↑

Tue Mar 10, 2020 9:59 am

When the radio DJ says '' You're listening to radio whatever'' how does he know you are?

Now there is a big one. The answer is metaphysical in a way. He says that knowing that if you are listening you will hear him say it, if you're not it doesn't matter. But it starts a whole other argument - like does a room exist after you leave it? Does anything actually exist behind your head? When you close your eyes does the world cease to exist? Quantum physicists have observed sub-atomic particles that only appear to exist when they are being observed - does the world of the everyday behave the same.


Mmm - bet you didn't know what you were starting with your 'DJ' comment did you?

Bosscat wrote: ↑

Tue Mar 10, 2020 10:31 am

Ahhhhh well I pretend to be an Interleckedshoeal for the same porpoise

Timbob is just well.... Timbob

Don't be thick Boss, it's 'intilecshul'........innit?

Bosscat wrote: ↑

Tue Mar 10, 2020 10:31 am

Ahhhhh well I pretend to be an Interleckedshoeal for the same porpoise

Timbob is just well.... Timbob

Inter Lectual?

Had no idea you were Italian Bosscat!
Hope you are locked in!

[quote=MACCA post_id=1227111 time=1583761370 user_id=144

Why is Zoey and Zoe pronounced the same, but Joey and Joe aren't?
[/quote]
Because Zoe is originally a Greek name - meaning "life" and the "e" is therefore pronounced, whereas Joe is an "Old English" name derived from Joseph, or Joanna (or Joanne or similar), and probably shouldn't really have the final "e".
Zoey is really just a miss-spelling of Zoe.
In answer to another question, presumably rulers are slightly longer than the actual numerical length because the ends can get chipped, and also it makes it easier to rule a a line that is exactly the correct length without potentially slipping off the end.

Can you by a decaffeinated coffee table ?

[/quote]Because Zoe is originally a Greek name - meaning "life" and the "e" is therefore pronounced, whereas Joe is an "Old English" name derived from Joseph, or Joanna (or Joanne or similar), and probably shouldn't really have the final "e".
Zoey is really just a miss-spelling of Zoe.
In answer to another question, presumably rulers are slightly longer than the actual numerical length because the ends can get chipped, and also it makes it easier to rule a a line that is exactly the correct length without potentially slipping off the end.
[/quote]

Good answer to the ruler question Nil. I like a tryer. The only weakness I can see is that it doesn't help if you want a line 12 and a half inches long.

HB Claret wrote: ↑

Tue Mar 10, 2020 11:09 am

Can you by a decaffeinated coffee table ?

No but you might be able to buy one.

Sorry - couldn't resist.

HB Claret wrote: ↑

Tue Mar 10, 2020 11:09 am

Can you by a decaffeinated coffee table ?

Everytime I see "Decaffeinated" all I can think about is this....


https://youtu.be/vLv5UUCRslc

And the immortal line "he has been de "Kaffa" nated

Why do we keep the locking wheelnut key in the car ?

Which council made a single older mum, with a large family, live in a shoe?

Is flammable the same thing as inflammable?