Lockdown jokes and memes.

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SmudgetheClaret
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Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by SmudgetheClaret » Mon Mar 23, 2020 10:30 pm

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by Devils_Advocate » Mon Mar 23, 2020 10:42 pm

Trying to go out for your 10th exercise of the day during the lockdown

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by TheFamilyCat » Mon Mar 23, 2020 10:49 pm

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by Devils_Advocate » Mon Mar 23, 2020 10:51 pm

Tomorrow lunchtime when everyone has their one chance to exercise

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by IanMcL » Mon Mar 23, 2020 11:04 pm

I never even wanted to exercise!

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by TheFamilyCat » Mon Mar 23, 2020 11:06 pm

IanMcL wrote:
Mon Mar 23, 2020 11:04 pm
I never even wanted to exercise!
Can you donate your exercise slot to me then? Does it work like that?

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by IanMcL » Mon Mar 23, 2020 11:08 pm

A have to attend a council meeting, tomorrow afternoon.

The meeting has to be quarterly. Although some can Skype, only those attending can vote.

A vote is necessary, to sort parish boundaries, ready for 2021 elections. No decisions made....no further consultation....no time to meet deadline.

Other Cllrs are older than me, so at risk! I am only 66 3/4! :o
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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by BabylonClaret » Mon Mar 23, 2020 11:14 pm

IanMcL wrote:
Mon Mar 23, 2020 11:08 pm
A have to attend a council meeting, tomorrow afternoon.

The meeting has to be quarterly. Although some can Skype, only those attending can vote.

A vote is necessary, to sort parish boundaries, ready for 2021 elections. No decisions made....no further consultation....no time to meet deadline.

Other Cllrs are older than me, so at risk! I am only 66 3/4! :o
Really?? Here's an idea. Just leave them alone. No need to decide something new then. Central Govt is busy remobilising an entire workforce to support new support measures, the NHS is gearing up for a shitstorm and flu cillora are debating pariah boundaries becasue its essential. No wonder noone else pays any attention.
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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by IanMcL » Mon Mar 23, 2020 11:22 pm

It will be important next year.

I will travel alone. Sit apart, as required and drive home, having done the deeds.

Not life and death (I hope) but eventually, meaningful to a lot of folks.

Just one of those things, where the law requires attendance.

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by fidelcastro » Mon Mar 23, 2020 11:28 pm

IanMcL wrote:
Mon Mar 23, 2020 11:22 pm
It will be important next year.

I will travel alone. Sit apart, as required and drive home, having done the deeds.

Not life and death (I hope) but eventually, meaningful to a lot of folks.

Just one of those things, where the law requires attendance.
Utter ********.

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by TVC15 » Mon Mar 23, 2020 11:38 pm

IanMcL wrote:
Mon Mar 23, 2020 11:08 pm
A have to attend a council meeting, tomorrow afternoon.

The meeting has to be quarterly. Although some can Skype, only those attending can vote.

A vote is necessary, to sort parish boundaries, ready for 2021 elections. No decisions made....no further consultation....no time to meet deadline.

Other Cllrs are older than me, so at risk! I am only 66 3/4! :o
There is absolutely no way that this is essential travel or an essential meeting.
Why don’t you show the rest of the council an example and tell them they should be not putting other people’s lives at risks....and whilst they are at it change their rules to accommodate emergency situations like this so that meetings can be held and votes cast without being there in person. If everyone else across the world can do this for things which with all due respect are a lot more important I’m sure you could find a way round this.
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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by atlantalad » Mon Mar 23, 2020 11:49 pm

I sense some posters on here are posing non- sensible queries for the purpose provocation. If you require a more explicit interpretation of what "people can now only leave their homes to shop for necessities, exercise once a day, medical needs, or travelling to and from work - but only if it's essential" means then you are DUMB.

If you truly cannot fathom the meaning of that last statement then it's time for Mother Nature to just finish us off as a (once) intelligent species.

For God sake, protect the brilliant NHS workers by not travelling when it's not essential, and social distancing if you feel the need to go out instead of being a dumb conduit of death.

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by IanMcL » Tue Mar 24, 2020 2:10 pm

TVC15 wrote:
Mon Mar 23, 2020 11:38 pm
There is absolutely no way that this is essential travel or an essential meeting.
Why don’t you show the rest of the council an example and tell them they should be not putting other people’s lives at risks....and whilst they are at it change their rules to accommodate emergency situations like this so that meetings can be held and votes cast without being there in person. If everyone else across the world can do this for things which with all due respect are a lot more important I’m sure you could find a way round this.
Just received, as I prepare to make my journey...

'It should be noted that most incidental decisions regarding the council’s operations are taken by officers. The functions and decision making powers of the Council, Cabinet and various councillor committees are set out in the constitution1 and
underpinned by legislation. In summary:
 Under current legislation (and also reflected in the Constitution) councillors must be physically present at any formally constituted meeting (such as those listed below) to be part of the quorum, vote and thereby take decisions.
In keeping with this, there is a requirement for councillors to attend a council meeting in-person at least once every six months.

It goes on to say that there is nothing currently, in the emergency act, going through parliament, to change the requirement.

Do I want to go? Not particularly.
Do I believe I am elected, by residents, to carry out the duties of a councillor? Yes.

I am currently fit and well and will not be in contact with people, within the 2 metre distance. My car journey will be alone.
Safety first.

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by Tricky Trevor » Tue Mar 24, 2020 2:31 pm

I’ve no problem with you fulfilling your duty, Ian, but in the current situation it is this that is the problem:
“A vote is necessary, to sort parish boundaries, ready for 2021 elections. No decisions made....no further consultation....no time to meet deadline.“

All these decisions can be suspended until the crisis is over. Even if it means delaying next years council elections until the boundaries are sorted, Nationally.

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by Bigvince » Tue Mar 24, 2020 2:36 pm

We’ve run out of jokes and memes(whatever they are) pretty quickly on this thread, and been sidetracked haven’t we
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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by TVC15 » Tue Mar 24, 2020 2:41 pm

IanMcL wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 2:10 pm
Just received, as I prepare to make my journey...

'It should be noted that most incidental decisions regarding the council’s operations are taken by officers. The functions and decision making powers of the Council, Cabinet and various councillor committees are set out in the constitution1 and
underpinned by legislation. In summary:
 Under current legislation (and also reflected in the Constitution) councillors must be physically present at any formally constituted meeting (such as those listed below) to be part of the quorum, vote and thereby take decisions.
In keeping with this, there is a requirement for councillors to attend a council meeting in-person at least once every six months.

It goes on to say that there is nothing currently, in the emergency act, going through parliament, to change the requirement.

Do I want to go? Not particularly.
Do I believe I am elected, by residents, to carry out the duties of a councillor? Yes.

I am currently fit and well and will not be in contact with people, within the 2 metre distance. My car journey will be alone.
Safety first.
Sounds like it’s too late to persuade you to change your mind but what you are doing is 100% non essential travel and it pretty disturbing that you and your fellow councillors between you have not decided between yourselves to take a common sense approach.

If you would have all held the meeting by Skype / remote facilities and agreed that you all were entitled to vote on this under these emergency circumstances what do you think would happen ? Who do you think would deem that this decision made by the council would or could not be upheld ? Do you think that any government body or court would not agree that this was ok ?

And you wonder why councils get a bad reputation. I sit on a number of boards and we are taking a common sense approach around quorums, meetings, decision making powers etc irrespective of what is included in our current terms of reference or constitutions. In situations like this common sense should override everything is that is the right thing to do.

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by FactualFrank » Tue Mar 24, 2020 2:47 pm

Son: Why is my sister called Paris?

Dad: Because we conceived her in Paris.

Son: Cheers, Dad.

Dad: No problem, Quarantine.

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by MrTopTier » Tue Mar 24, 2020 2:56 pm

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by conyoviejo » Tue Mar 24, 2020 3:50 pm

This made me laugh..
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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by Bigvince » Tue Mar 24, 2020 3:51 pm

Why did IanMcl cross the road













To get to the council meeting :D
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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by Dinks » Tue Mar 24, 2020 3:51 pm

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Look what you could have won
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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by Devils_Advocate » Tue Mar 24, 2020 3:54 pm

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by Dinks » Tue Mar 24, 2020 3:58 pm

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by ZizkovClaret » Tue Mar 24, 2020 4:03 pm

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by Dinks » Tue Mar 24, 2020 4:10 pm

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Dont forget your eccentric Mum & Dad during this crisis.

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by Devils_Advocate » Tue Mar 24, 2020 4:13 pm

Dinks wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 4:10 pm
Screen-Shot-2019-11-06-at-11.56.46-AM.pngDont forget your eccentric Mum & Dad during this crisis.
Or your nan and her best friend

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by Dinks » Tue Mar 24, 2020 4:13 pm

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Lockdown...day 1

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by Dinks » Tue Mar 24, 2020 4:14 pm

Devils_Advocate wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 4:13 pm
Or your nan and her best friend

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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by Dinks » Tue Mar 24, 2020 4:22 pm

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by Dinks » Tue Mar 24, 2020 4:37 pm

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by Dinks » Tue Mar 24, 2020 5:30 pm


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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by IanMcL » Tue Mar 24, 2020 7:47 pm

TheFamilyCat wrote:
Mon Mar 23, 2020 11:06 pm
Can you donate your exercise slot to me then? Does it work like that?
It's yours now!

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by Devils_Advocate » Tue Mar 24, 2020 8:41 pm

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by mdd2 » Tue Mar 24, 2020 8:46 pm

This is no different from the plague where the rich and famous isolated themselves in the country.
Henry the 8th once isolated himself with just his Court Jester and at the end of a month he was at his wits end.
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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by Dressinggown » Tue Mar 24, 2020 9:34 pm

Cons:

Can still work from home.
No football and facing no prospect of a Lancashire League cricket season.
No pubs.
No restaurants.
No travel to booked short stays in Europe.
No recycling centres open in order to sort my 3 tons of rotting foodstuffs which I purchased last week.
Very little Vodka or any spirits on the supermarket shelves.

Pros:

Concocted a new cocktail using Baileys, Archers, Grappa and virtually all my 'Top Shelf' leftovers. It is named the 'Taste of the Turf.
Don't have to be in close or in any proximity to any of my work colleagues.
Don't need to drive so I can start drinking at breakfast. (Subject to availability)

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by Zlatan » Tue Mar 24, 2020 9:37 pm

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by Devils_Advocate » Tue Mar 24, 2020 9:40 pm

Zlatan wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 9:37 pm
This is brilliant :)

https://www.thepoke.co.uk/2020/03/20/th ... Y.facebook
Started following him on Twitter a couple of days ago. As you say its absolute class was just gutted once i'd watched them all
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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by aggi » Wed Mar 25, 2020 12:02 am

A new take on the trolley problem

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by IanMcL » Wed Mar 25, 2020 8:01 am

TVC15 wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 2:41 pm
Sounds like it’s too late to persuade you to change your mind but what you are doing is 100% non essential travel and it pretty disturbing that you and your fellow councillors between you have not decided between yourselves to take a common sense approach.

If you would have all held the meeting by Skype / remote facilities and agreed that you all were entitled to vote on this under these emergency circumstances what do you think would happen ? Who do you think would deem that this decision made by the council would or could not be upheld ? Do you think that any government body or court would not agree that this was ok ?

And you wonder why councils get a bad reputation. I sit on a number of boards and we are taking a common sense approach around quorums, meetings, decision making powers etc irrespective of what is included in our current terms of reference or constitutions. In situations like this common sense should override everything is that is the right thing to do.
Unitary Authorities have a Monitoring officer appointed to give guidance on these matters. The MO is actually the chief officer attending these meetings. His unequivocal ruling was that this one meeting, to take the decisions, ready for consultation, had to be quarate or the rest of the process could not be done.

The things we should hold above all else, at this time, are democracy and the rule of law.

Whilst a company can waive its constitution, a council cannot, without a full council meeting.

All done now. No meetings scheduled until later in the year.

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by GodIsADeeJay81 » Wed Mar 25, 2020 8:13 am

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by Dinks » Wed Mar 25, 2020 8:29 am

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by Dinks » Wed Mar 25, 2020 8:33 am

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by dsr » Wed Mar 25, 2020 8:52 am

IanMcL wrote:
Wed Mar 25, 2020 8:01 am
Unitary Authorities have a Monitoring officer appointed to give guidance on these matters. The MO is actually the chief officer attending these meetings. His unequivocal ruling was that this one meeting, to take the decisions, ready for consultation, had to be quarate or the rest of the process could not be done.

The things we should hold above all else, at this time, are democracy and the rule of law.

Whilst a company can waive its constitution, a council cannot, without a full council meeting.

All done now. No meetings scheduled until later in the year.
So what would have been the consequences of not having the meeting? Presumably you are talking about the end of democracy in your authority and the creation of a dictatorship. It certainly can't be as trivial as the old parish boundaries remaining in place for an extra year.

Did you know this year's local elections have been cancelled?

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by TVC15 » Wed Mar 25, 2020 8:53 am

IanMcL wrote:
Wed Mar 25, 2020 8:01 am
Unitary Authorities have a Monitoring officer appointed to give guidance on these matters. The MO is actually the chief officer attending these meetings. His unequivocal ruling was that this one meeting, to take the decisions, ready for consultation, had to be quarate or the rest of the process could not be done.

The things we should hold above all else, at this time, are democracy and the rule of law.

Whilst a company can waive its constitution, a council cannot, without a full council meeting.

All done now. No meetings scheduled until later in the year.
Glad you are back safe and sound Ian and hope you stay safe and well.

Whatever you say about the rationale you will never convince me that meeting face to face was the correct thing to do and it is nothing to do with democracy and the rule of law. As I am sure you know democracy does not require face to face contact.

The existing law was not the most important thing yesterday - not increasing the risk of spreading the virus was.

As I have already said what do you think would have happened if you would have held the meeting and voted remotely ? Which body would have decided that this was not lawful and that not risking spreading the virus was not the correct thing to do ? Nobody would dare - the press would have a field day. Parish and local council elections are not that important in normal times - they were a lot less important yesterday.

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by IanMcL » Wed Mar 25, 2020 10:41 am

The reality was that we were few in a large room, well spread, with others on Skype. All participated but only those present could vote. There were no dissenters to the voting.

Changing a boundary may seem trivial. It is not. Down the line, there will be those that disagree and if challenged, those decisions are legal. If not, the council would be told to start again.. without any doubt!

The 98 unitary seats all change next May. This process makes the internal adjustments for (hopefully) improved governance.

All over the country, there are things happening, which should not be. I can rest knowing I have not been in contact with anyone (shopping would be more risky) and all is now able to be properly delegated. I am not off anywhere else, so all good.

Stay well everyone.
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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by TVC15 » Wed Mar 25, 2020 10:56 am

Your still missing the point Ian - it’s about relative importance and measures to reduce risk.
People have to go shopping to sustain themselves.

You say that you all socially distanced at the meeting but as you know that is not the only criteria and it’s very unlikely that at some point during the day that all the attendees at the meeting did not unnecessarily increase the risk to others in some way or other - and in reality most of you probably did as soon as you stepped outside of your houses.

It’s good that you all feel so committed to your council duties. But it’s concerning that you all agreed it was the right thing to do....when 100% it was not.

Hope you stay well too.
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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by Bosscat » Wed Mar 25, 2020 1:02 pm

Morrisons queuing this morning everyone 2 metres apart ... no complaints at all
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Shopping was very civilised got the essentials (foodwise) mostly but still no toilet rolls or kleenex type tissues.

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by Devils_Advocate » Wed Mar 25, 2020 1:39 pm

Bosscat wrote:
Wed Mar 25, 2020 1:02 pm
Morrisons queuing this morning everyone 2 metres apart ... no complaints at all

20200325_103206.jpg

20200325_103200.jpg

Shopping was very civilised got the essentials (foodwise) mostly but still no toilet rolls or kleenex type tissues.
Best meme yet :D

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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by FactualFrank » Wed Mar 25, 2020 2:10 pm

Bosscat wrote:
Wed Mar 25, 2020 1:02 pm
Morrisons queuing this morning everyone 2 metres apart ... no complaints at all
They said that gloves and a mask would be enough to go in.

Yet when I went, everyone else had their clothes on.
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Re: Lockdown jokes and memes.

Post by TheFamilyCat » Wed Mar 25, 2020 6:03 pm

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