“The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

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“The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by jdrobbo » Mon Oct 05, 2020 7:04 pm

A strange thread title for a football messageboard, you might think, but having sat down and thought about it, never could be said a truer line. I will not lie, the aforementioned quote came from my wife, an accredited psychotherapist, who had been listening to a podcast on the importance of play at this difficult time, where our lives’ have, for the most of us, changed significantly. She directed me to the podcast and after I’d expressed how I feel about my ‘life outside of work’ she told me to go and write it down, so here it is. Disclaimer: I think she can see how badly not being able to do the things I really love and for so long, is affecting me and my other football-attending friends.

All of this comes on the back of a very difficult period for me. Two weeks ago, I found out that myself and my class of thirty-one pupils (I’m a Y6 primary school teacher) had come into contact with a staff member from outside school on an educational visit, who had developed symptoms for Covid. They were tested and reported back a positive test. At 7pm 14 days ago, my class bubble closed for a fortnight. This meant that I had to revert back to pre-summer online teaching, but this time it came at a cost…I was unable to leave the house at all, other than to sit in the garden. This for me was incredibly difficult, as I get an enormous amount of positive wellbeing from playing football and from running – my play had been removed!

“But at least you’ll still be able to watch the football…” many of my friends have said in the meantime “…that’ll give you a distraction…” Well, yes, football, no matter how well your team is or isn’t playing, gives you some form of distraction, but its purpose is slowly being eroded on me. I will never fall out of love with the game, but the contrast between the last nine games of 2019-20 and the start of the current season, is stark! I don’t speak for everyone, but maybe a few people will be able to relate, if I were to offer up the suggestion that the victories against Watford, Crystal Palace and West Ham, along with the outstanding performance at Liverpool, were in fact, slowly masking an ever increasing numbing effect that not being at the games was having?

For all games since lockdown began, I have watched the Burnley matches live, whilst Facetiming two or three good very friends. It has helped: the company has been great and we have tried to mirror the typical game situation of being together. I’m sure others who attend games have done similar. But replicating the match experience does not in any way help to replicate the idea of real escapism to a day out at the football match.

My wife has never attended a Burnley game in her life; she has no interest in football at all, other than to truly understand that I need it in my life. I thought I needed football for the crowd; for the swearing; for the smell of pies on the concourse…all important yes, but in truth, as has really come to light in recent months, the matchday experience for me is actually about meeting my friends, possibly popping into see my parents for ten minutes on the way to the ground; going to the same café before a game; meeting a different group of friends on the corner by the Park view; chatting with other friends on the concourse at half-time….a whole raft of other factors that in truth, hugely contribute to the whole package of attending football matches.

Going back to the quote in the thread title, Stuart Brown, a medical doctor, psychiatrist, clinical researcher, and the founder of the National Institute for Play, argues that “We have a biologically programmed need for play can transform us and renew our sense of excitement in life…”

What does this mean in the real world…it means: time spent without purpose; activities where you lose track of time, activities where you feel free to be yourself, where you are uninhibited, free, liberated…football offers this is abundance. Going to watch Burnley at Turf Moor and occasionally away from home, allows me to do all of the above. Whilst that is not in place, it is a concern for me, as I’m sure it is for many others, that my life is not being filled with something that I regard as almost essential.

I have read on the messageboard in recent months that others are turning away from football more, instead taking up new hobbies or re-discovering past interests. I have certainly done that to some extent – I have certainly read more in the last six months than I have in the last six years! I understand where these people are coming from: the removal of that option to actually attend a game of football is deeply upsetting and I strongly believe is not good for wellbeing.

Going back to the Factime chats I have been participating in, this time during the current season, I think it has accentuated and more, possibly held a mirror up to the fact that this is not what we signed up for – this is not the football we all love so much. The poor performances of recent weeks and the apparent off-field spats, seem to me to have opened up the cracks of reality – that this is bloody hard work. I said to my wife just half an hour ago, “Burnley don’t play next week because it’s the England match…they next play West Brom in a fortnight…yes I’ll still join my friends for the game and yes I’ll enjoy the company, but that purpose of going to the game, that purpose of seeing my friends and that purpose of being free will not be there – I’m feeling a bit numb to it all”

I am truly grateful to be in decent health, to have a secure job and to have fit and healthy friends and family. I don’t envisage being able to step foot inside a full Turf Moor, at all this season and possibly right through next year as well. I truly cannot wait for my football club to open its matchday doors again, because when they do, they’ll open more doors than just to ninety minutes of football; those doors allow children, men and women to go out for the day and do something that people of all ages need to regularly do – PLAY!

Be kind to each other!
John
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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by Boss Hogg » Mon Oct 05, 2020 7:18 pm

It’s not ideal but bearable. If you’ve got good health a healthy family and a good job you’ve a lot more than many. Less social contact is the hardest thing and doing what you want when you want. It’s made me realise how unimportant eating out is though and how going out with a mask on and downloading apps is even more offputting. I’ve had family members in hospital and care homes during this and that has been hard. Football then becomes quite unimportant in the grand scheme of things. People got through far worse in the war though.
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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by jdrobbo » Mon Oct 05, 2020 7:21 pm

Don’t disagree Boss Hog. Thanks for taking the time to reply.

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by CleggHall » Mon Oct 05, 2020 7:21 pm

A heartfelt piece John, I guess many of us share your views/sentiments to some extent. This virus is a b.....r, lockdown is a drag and there is little light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately events and performances at Burnley FC currently add to the gloom rather than dispelling it. These are tough times for many including all Burnley supporters but an odd win or two will see us reet temporarily at least until the real match day experience eventually returns. We must all persevere.
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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by jdrobbo » Mon Oct 05, 2020 7:27 pm

And preserve we will!

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by ksrclaret » Mon Oct 05, 2020 7:30 pm

Sums up my thoughts exactly. Like you I'm also a teacher, albeit one in a Sixth Form college, so I share your sentiments regarding being extremely lucky to have a secure job (and the best job at that!).

But also like you, I'm desperately longing for a return to the "matchday experience". With every passing "new matchday" I miss it more and more. It's something that was a huge part of my life before this virus swept through us and it got me through some very hard times. I still love football and I can't ever imagine turning off from it completely, but the current state of affairs is so sad. Add in the deep sense of apathy that BFC have created, and it's a tough old time.

It will get better though, that's what I keep telling myself. It has to. And when it does I won't ever take going on the Turf for granted again.
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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by jdrobbo » Mon Oct 05, 2020 7:56 pm

Thanks ksr. I think that having to quarantine with my glass accelerated my thought process on this issue and has made me see and feel things for what they are. There are people with far worse problems than us wanting to attend a football match, but deep down, it’s affecting many people a lot more than they may choose to admit.

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by dandeclaret » Mon Oct 05, 2020 8:02 pm

Whilst football isn't the passion it was once for me, I can connect with every word of that. I am very fortunate that before lockdown I had a life that I loved. Travelling loads, seeing new countries, new cultures, catching up with friends around the globe, taking in some amazing experiences, and going racing as an owner, a photographer and as a spectator at the biggest racing events. I loved photographing incredible wildlife all around the world, and then it was taken away. All of it. I was fine for maybe 5 months, but then I was low. I wasn't laughing as much as usual, and having spent 12 hours a day pretty much on zoom calls, I didn't even want to pick up the phone, or FaceTime friends and family in the evenings. By Wednesday of this week, my horses will have ran 3 times, and I won't have attended any of them.

I had a week in Burnley recently, visiting family and friends around the uk, and that lifted my spirits massively, even allowing for a 2 week self isolation quarantine on my return. I have also taken the decision that I am going to go away, in a sensible manner shortly, as the removal of everything from a diary, that at this time of year, would be full, but is currently empty.

Life is for living, not just for existing, and you have to take care of yourself and others. Get up crown point with 3 telescopes, and watch the game.

Keep your head up.
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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by jdrobbo » Mon Oct 05, 2020 8:06 pm

The very friendship we have Dan was one where I opened your post expecting banter. I have thought about your photography work a lot recently and I absolutely know how much that will be affecting you. Really hope you’re catching great race jumps and amazing wildlife, close-up, again very soon. Hope you and family are okay mate. J

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by Awayfromburnley » Mon Oct 05, 2020 8:20 pm

The way I look at things is that this is a once in a lifetime experience.

Yes the majority of it is rubbish, but I try to actually embrace the change. Embrace reading loads. Embrace listening to different music. Embrace just looking out the window. Embrace doing nothing and just listening to myself breathe.

I reflect that if I was held hostage for 2 years what would I do. Even self isolating you have more freedom than a hostage or a prisoner. Yes that might seem a daft anecdote but it's developing a state of mind to cope with it.

Ultimately we are a form of prisoner but hopefully you are healthy, which is more than many.

For me it's about shaping a perspective. This will eventually end, it will take a while to return to what was normal, but when it does think of the things you will laugh at.

Football hearing Dyche ranting at Sterling.

Beers being brought to the table.

Being able not to go to Uncle Knobheads party without having to explain....

I could go on, one message I have for all is embrace the changes and focus on smaller things. Enjoy what you can and relish the simple things.
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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by jdrobbo » Mon Oct 05, 2020 8:29 pm

Yesterday I ran a half marathon in sub 1:35. Lockdown has helped me to go from a decent plodder to someone that loves running. Reading too. I now read most days. I certainly have taken positives. I think it’s that craving for the one thing I really want...

I like your analogy about being a form of prisoner. It sounds selfish, as in truth, many of our freedoms are still in place.

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by bodge » Mon Oct 05, 2020 8:33 pm

I certainly miss being part of a crowd and the goal celebration moment, it's really noticeable on tv, the lack of crowds, despite the commentators behaving as they normally do the special roar of the crowd is missing and it does take away something from that moment and therefore the sport itself.

If nothing else, a penny may drop in boardrooms and corporate offices around the world that fans are an integral part of making football what it is and so must not be taken for granted.

Outside of football i am really enjoying not spending 3 hours a day on the M62 and not going through the ludicrous process of putting a suit on every working day. Society will hopefully not go back to the old office lifestyle when this is all over.

So there are positives out of all of this !

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by jdrobbo » Mon Oct 05, 2020 8:37 pm

Cheers Bodge. Hope you and your good lady, Karen, are well.
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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by jdrobbo » Mon Oct 05, 2020 9:22 pm

A lot of people have said how much they don’t miss their commute. :-)

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by ClaretTony » Tue Oct 06, 2020 2:19 am

I have to say I’m finding life harder and harder as time goes by. For about three months or so I was going out walking and had got up to around five miles per day but then an incident, which I won’t dwell on, has left me frightened of leaving the house. Since the end of June I’ve been out twice, once for an emergency dental appointment and once for my flu jab.

Things are getting more and more difficult. I don’t see my family and I don’t see my friends. I sit next to jdrobbo on the Turf; he’s a good friend but I’ve not seen him since the 7th March, MDWat, another good friend is one more week since we went to Newcastle.

My closest relative is my brother. I don’t think we’ve ever spoken so much on the phone but I’ve seen him once in just about seven months. I have a great niece who I’ve still never seen.

I get really down at times and can’t see what the future is. Even the football has started badly and the clear mess at our club doesn’t help. This message board now is my company. For most of the time I’m online it’s enjoyable although I never thought it would be so difficult writing match reports. It’s just not the same when you haven’t been there.

But as jdrobbo has said, it’s not seeing the people, friends and family, that you want to see. Those people who are special to you and mean so much to you.

It’s not all bad. I’m not well off financially by any means but I can always put food on the table. I’m in reasonably good health too. People, some I didn’t even know, have been able to help with food deliveries etc.

I’m not sure whether this is a response to this thread, more just how I feel and where I am right now.

I’d give anything to have a normal life back. You really don’t appreciate what you have until it is taken away from you.
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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by martintheaker » Tue Oct 06, 2020 2:58 am

Great thread.

I’m really missing the away match days more than home games. Away games are the real escape.

I travel all over the UK and Ireland working, but I’m not missing that travel anywhere near as much sitting in a car or on a train with mate just chatting.

Chatting with a football mate one to one all day gives you the opportunity to talk about all sorts of stuff, some deeply personal stuff and some of it is just talking ********. The key thing is, it’s talking.

The last 6 months have been challenging for several reasons, mainly health related and more recently listening to further evidence at the infected blood inquiry (I’m a severe haemophiliac and affected by the contaminated blood disaster) and it’s made me realise how fortunate I’ve been compared to many others who lost their lives.

I guess this shows that following Burnley isn’t just about a match day experience, for me it’s much bigger.

UTC
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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by jdrobbo » Tue Oct 06, 2020 8:31 am

Tony, any reply is a good reply, as long as you are getting your thoughts down.

Martin, thanks for taking the time to reply. It’s amazing, on reflection, just what an opportunity, a day at the football, gives people, especially men I suspect, the chance to talk. Take care of yourself and fingers crossed for your continued good health.

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by NottsClaret » Tue Oct 06, 2020 8:50 am

It would be a thousand times easier for me if they said on <insert date>, things will start returning to normal. Obviously nobody can do that, but it's the lack of hope or the seemingly endless nature of it that gets to you.

The actual daily life - apart from right now as we're isolating - under partial lockdown isn't too bad. Football - as in top level football - is a write off but I've got into grassroots football big time. Plus all the walking, gardening, fitness stuff.

Just really want an 'end date' for it, even if it was 12 or 18 months, I could happily start ticking off days on the calendar.
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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by jdrobbo » Tue Oct 06, 2020 10:29 am

And sometimes, when things get a bit more challenging, having an end-date really does help. It’s something to look forward to.

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by jdrobbo » Tue Oct 06, 2020 3:54 pm

Bump, for anyone who may find my ramblings of interest.
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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by DAVETHEVICAR » Tue Oct 06, 2020 5:36 pm

Hi Everyone on “Up The Clarets”
I am a rather fortunate 75 year old (76 in 12 days) who lives in Lincoln where the population per square mile is probably the lowest by far of any other County.
I like many others travelled to Newcastle by train at the end of February unaware that Covid had already started.
I walked back to station surrounded by fans of both clubs and could have contracted the virus.
I was over 15 stone 6 ft and type 2 diabetic.
During lockdown my daughter did all my shops for me so apart from walking I was confined to the message
board.
During this 12 week or so period I walked 16-30 km per day and shed the weight
I had my bloods and Diabetic checks last week and am now at 13 stone 10 lbs in weight and as the Doctor put it no longer a diabetic although at the moment will still take the tablets I have been having.
I have never had depression fortunately although I believe it is horrendous if you have it.
I saw Alistair Campbell and his partner on TV this week discussing this topic and felt for him.
I enjoy the Football on TV and have got used to the atmosphere without crowds.
I will carry on paying my season ticket and will come over to the Turf when I am allowed providing the Trains will get me there and back.
I sold my car when lockdown ended as it was just parked outside my house with no need to use it
Sorry for the Rambling Post
Get behind the lads and don’t pick on individual players if they are giving their best
Best wishes to all posters and stay safe
UTC
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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by DAVETHEVICAR » Tue Oct 06, 2020 5:38 pm

Should be 16 to 20 km per day

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by MDWat » Tue Oct 06, 2020 5:43 pm

Glad to hear you’re doing well, Dave. :-)

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by jdrobbo » Tue Oct 06, 2020 5:48 pm

Lovely to hear from you Dave and great to see that you’re really looking after yourself, as much as you can. Sounds like you have made some lifestyle changes for the better. I’m pleased that you also, are finding the football on tv, enjoyable. Really hope to see you soon. J

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by Conroysleftfoot » Tue Oct 06, 2020 5:52 pm

DAVETHEVICAR wrote:
Tue Oct 06, 2020 5:36 pm
Hi Everyone on “Up The Clarets”
I am a rather fortunate 75 year old (76 in 12 days) who lives in Lincoln where the population per square mile is probably the lowest by far of any other County.
I like many others travelled to Newcastle by train at the end of February unaware that Covid had already started.
I walked back to station surrounded by fans of both clubs and could have contracted the virus.
I was over 15 stone 6 ft and type 2 diabetic.
During lockdown my daughter did all my shops for me so apart from walking I was confined to the message
board.
During this 12 week or so period I walked 16-30 km per day and shed the weight
I had my bloods and Diabetic checks last week and am now at 13 stone 10 lbs in weight and as the Doctor put it no longer a diabetic although at the moment will still take the tablets I have been having.
I have never had depression fortunately although I believe it is horrendous if you have it.
I saw Alistair Campbell and his partner on TV this week discussing this topic and felt for him.
I enjoy the Football on TV and have got used to the atmosphere without crowds.
I will carry on paying my season ticket and will come over to the Turf when I am allowed providing the Trains will get me there and back.
I sold my car when lockdown ended as it was just parked outside my house with no need to use it
Sorry for the Rambling Post
Get behind the lads and don’t pick on individual players if they are giving their best
Best wishes to all posters and stay safe
UTC
I don't know you Dave but you sound like a very upbeat person, a nice post stay safe.

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by CoolClaret » Tue Oct 06, 2020 5:59 pm

Great post and I thoroughly agree and can relate to much of it.

I myself live in a pretty isolated area and normally have a lot going on during the week and weekend - obviously covid has more or less put a stop to this.

I agree; viewing football this season has felt like a chore, I'm really not interested at all - it's not even that Burnley haven't started well I'm not interested in taking in the big games either.

Roll on next year!

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by jdrobbo » Tue Oct 06, 2020 6:36 pm

Can’t come quickly enough. Thanks for your contribution sir.

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by LAM » Tue Oct 06, 2020 6:50 pm

Great thread, and I hope people can take some comfort that so many others are experiencing similar feelings. It bothers me that there isn’t an end date to this, and I echo the sentiments that life is for living, not existing and am struggling to adapt to being indoors so much.

I also hope no-one mis-read like me and thought you missed the smell of **** on the concourse, not pies.

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by claretblue » Tue Oct 06, 2020 7:00 pm

Awayfromburnley wrote:
Mon Oct 05, 2020 8:20 pm
Being able not to go to Uncle Knobheads party without having to explain...
I wondered where you'd got to! :?
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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by ClaretAL » Tue Oct 06, 2020 7:08 pm

jdrobbo wrote:
Mon Oct 05, 2020 7:04 pm
A strange thread title for a football messageboard, you might think, but having sat down and thought about it, never could be said a truer line. I will not lie, the aforementioned quote came from my wife, an accredited psychotherapist, who had been listening to a podcast on the importance of play at this difficult time, where our lives’ have, for the most of us, changed significantly. She directed me to the podcast and after I’d expressed how I feel about my ‘life outside of work’ she told me to go and write it down, so here it is. Disclaimer: I think she can see how badly not being able to do the things I really love and for so long, is affecting me and my other football-attending friends.

All of this comes on the back of a very difficult period for me. Two weeks ago, I found out that myself and my class of thirty-one pupils (I’m a Y6 primary school teacher) had come into contact with a staff member from outside school on an educational visit, who had developed symptoms for Covid. They were tested and reported back a positive test. At 7pm 14 days ago, my class bubble closed for a fortnight. This meant that I had to revert back to pre-summer online teaching, but this time it came at a cost…I was unable to leave the house at all, other than to sit in the garden. This for me was incredibly difficult, as I get an enormous amount of positive wellbeing from playing football and from running – my play had been removed!

“But at least you’ll still be able to watch the football…” many of my friends have said in the meantime “…that’ll give you a distraction…” Well, yes, football, no matter how well your team is or isn’t playing, gives you some form of distraction, but its purpose is slowly being eroded on me. I will never fall out of love with the game, but the contrast between the last nine games of 2019-20 and the start of the current season, is stark! I don’t speak for everyone, but maybe a few people will be able to relate, if I were to offer up the suggestion that the victories against Watford, Crystal Palace and West Ham, along with the outstanding performance at Liverpool, were in fact, slowly masking an ever increasing numbing effect that not being at the games was having?

For all games since lockdown began, I have watched the Burnley matches live, whilst Facetiming two or three good very friends. It has helped: the company has been great and we have tried to mirror the typical game situation of being together. I’m sure others who attend games have done similar. But replicating the match experience does not in any way help to replicate the idea of real escapism to a day out at the football match.

My wife has never attended a Burnley game in her life; she has no interest in football at all, other than to truly understand that I need it in my life. I thought I needed football for the crowd; for the swearing; for the smell of pies on the concourse…all important yes, but in truth, as has really come to light in recent months, the matchday experience for me is actually about meeting my friends, possibly popping into see my parents for ten minutes on the way to the ground; going to the same café before a game; meeting a different group of friends on the corner by the Park view; chatting with other friends on the concourse at half-time….a whole raft of other factors that in truth, hugely contribute to the whole package of attending football matches.

Going back to the quote in the thread title, Stuart Brown, a medical doctor, psychiatrist, clinical researcher, and the founder of the National Institute for Play, argues that “We have a biologically programmed need for play can transform us and renew our sense of excitement in life…”

What does this mean in the real world…it means: time spent without purpose; activities where you lose track of time, activities where you feel free to be yourself, where you are uninhibited, free, liberated…football offers this is abundance. Going to watch Burnley at Turf Moor and occasionally away from home, allows me to do all of the above. Whilst that is not in place, it is a concern for me, as I’m sure it is for many others, that my life is not being filled with something that I regard as almost essential.

I have read on the messageboard in recent months that others are turning away from football more, instead taking up new hobbies or re-discovering past interests. I have certainly done that to some extent – I have certainly read more in the last six months than I have in the last six years! I understand where these people are coming from: the removal of that option to actually attend a game of football is deeply upsetting and I strongly believe is not good for wellbeing.

Going back to the Factime chats I have been participating in, this time during the current season, I think it has accentuated and more, possibly held a mirror up to the fact that this is not what we signed up for – this is not the football we all love so much. The poor performances of recent weeks and the apparent off-field spats, seem to me to have opened up the cracks of reality – that this is bloody hard work. I said to my wife just half an hour ago, “Burnley don’t play next week because it’s the England match…they next play West Brom in a fortnight…yes I’ll still join my friends for the game and yes I’ll enjoy the company, but that purpose of going to the game, that purpose of seeing my friends and that purpose of being free will not be there – I’m feeling a bit numb to it all”

I am truly grateful to be in decent health, to have a secure job and to have fit and healthy friends and family. I don’t envisage being able to step foot inside a full Turf Moor, at all this season and possibly right through next year as well. I truly cannot wait for my football club to open its matchday doors again, because when they do, they’ll open more doors than just to ninety minutes of football; those doors allow children, men and women to go out for the day and do something that people of all ages need to regularly do – PLAY!

Be kind to each other!
John
Wow!
you have put down in words what my son had been trying to describe to me how he feels and why his mood has changed so much so eloquently, you could know him. My son as has been documented on this message board is Autistic, and the whole going to the match with me and the full on Turfmoor experience, as well as fish and chips with CT once became part of his psyche and something to look forward to as it fit his way of life i the same pubs before the match and 1 after before home, the same seat every match with the same supporters around him, since he was 9 years old. He will be 21 this year and he is all over the place at the minute and regressed quite a lot, but when I showed him your post his words were " thats it Dad... that's exactly it and how I feel. I need football back but I need our match days back even more" I asked him what he meant by that, and he said watching Burnley is 50% the other 50% is what goes with it, and it was the only time I was accepted as one of the crowd and i need it back.

So hats of to you Jdrobbo, you helped a young lad explain himself and realise he is not alone, but in all honesty I think we can all relate to this. Chin up mate, and absolutely reach out when ever you can, And from a personal point of view, we sit a few rows back from you and i owe you a pint.
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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by leelad » Tue Oct 06, 2020 7:15 pm

Great post jdrobbo. Supporting Burnley FC is a release for me, it's like escaping to another place beyond the day to day humdrum of life. It's something which I look forward to and can't get enough of it, even in these challenging times we all find ourselves in. Watching a game at the Turf (for me) allows me to focus my attention 100% on playing my own very small part to support the team and cheer them on. And I let my emotions go with me along the way and take the rough with the smooth. I miss that experience so much and I wonder what the next 6 to 12 months will look like. I am sticking true to the Dyche mantra of taking it one game at a time as we have been in situations so far on our premier League journey where it's looked bleak and uncertain, but we have come out the other side still fighting and holding our own. We all just need to recognise how far we have come supporting this team and also be thankful for the small wins we take in our lives as a whole. I have got into gardening this year and it's great for the mind, so that's helping me. Above all else I miss the human interaction. I get some of it at work and buts in other areas, but a full Turf Moor in full voice, well that's different. Let's hope we get back there soon with a noisy and passionate crowd cheering on the team. Up the Clarets.

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by jdrobbo » Tue Oct 06, 2020 8:20 pm

Al and leelad, thank you for your kind replies. I’m glad the thread resonated with your son Al. That’s really great that it has helped in some way.

leelad, you’re right about the emotional release and human interaction. Spot on.

Best wishes to you both.
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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by tim_noone » Tue Oct 06, 2020 8:22 pm

ClaretAL wrote:
Tue Oct 06, 2020 7:08 pm
Wow!
you have put down in words what my son had been trying to describe to me how he feels and why his mood has changed so much so eloquently, you could know him. My son as has been documented on this message board is Autistic, and the whole going to the match with me and the full on Turfmoor experience, as well as fish and chips with CT once became part of his psyche and something to look forward to as it fit his way of life i the same pubs before the match and 1 after before home, the same seat every match with the same supporters around him, since he was 9 years old. He will be 21 this year and he is all over the place at the minute and regressed quite a lot, but when I showed him your post his words were " thats it Dad... that's exactly it and how I feel. I need football back but I need our match days back even more" I asked him what he meant by that, and he said watching Burnley is 50% the other 50% is what goes with it, and it was the only time I was accepted as one of the crowd and i need it back.

So hats of to you Jdrobbo, you helped a young lad explain himself and realise he is not alone, but in all honesty I think we can all relate to this. Chin up mate, and absolutely reach out when ever you can, And from a personal point of view, we sit a few rows back from you and i owe you a pint.
I remember your lads Vlogs......tell him to continue with something regards Burnley or life in general it's good to share the adventures with others.
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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by bfcjg » Tue Oct 06, 2020 9:27 pm

At times you think you are the only person in the world suffering in various degrees from the turmoil this virus has caused but reading this thread makes you realise you are not, I am convinced we have turned a corner albeit a long corner and we will all be back on the Turf next year.

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by jdrobbo » Tue Oct 06, 2020 9:51 pm

Quite right: I’m pretty sure there’ll be many going through a similar series of feelings and emotions, whilst still facing their own personal journey. Hopefully we’ll all come out of it together, with renewed hope and fire in the belly. Take care.

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by Scampi » Tue Oct 06, 2020 10:16 pm

Hi John

This feels quite odd. I’ve been a lurker on this board and the last one for years – ever since the day the club decided not to renew Stan’s contract and I realised there was probably an online forum somewhere that would let me find out some of the inside info! I’ve made a couple of inconsequential posts over the years but have been happy just to read, though it does feel like I know a whole bunch of you quite well.

Anyway, your post has prompted me to actually write something because it has really resonated with me. I’ve never been a regular full-time match go-er. My Dad is from Tod and first went on in the late 50s, was at Maine Road as a little boy when we won the title etc etc, but we moved down south when I was still a baby so I’ve always been an inherited long-distance fan, going on when I can, when circumstances have permitted, some years more often (thankfully 08-09 was the season of my highest attendance!), some years less often. But when I do get to go it is absolutely my favourite thing in the world. And even when I don’t, I’ve always loved the fact of knowing that it’s happening – of knowing that everyone is gathered somewhere to watch Burnley, that it’s been happening for 100 and however many years, that my Dad went, that my Grandad went, that my little boy and girl will hopefully one day go too.

Like you I’ve found COVID life quite tough. Working at home in a relatively small house while looking after small children has been hard. I’ve found the collapse of the distinction between work and home life difficult. And I’ve missed football – real football. I’ve missed being able to look down the fixture list and work out the games I’ll be able to get to. I’ve missed the security I get from knowing other people are there even if I’m not. Watching with the empty grounds was OK as a novelty for finishing off last season, but I can’t feel anything towards it at all in this new season. With nobody being there, the whole thing seems utterly diminished of its point.

John – I think I remember seeing sometime in the past that you played a brass instrument? I play in a brass band too, and that’s also been canned for the majority of time since March. We’ve very recently been able to start doing small group, 6 at a time, rehearsals but, as you say, that isn’t what we signed up for.

So what is the point of my ramblings (other than finally to say hi!) Well, it’s been helpful just to write some of it down, but mainly, your description of play has really hit home: time spent without purpose or where you lose track of time. That’s exactly the thing I’ve been missing but haven’t been able to put my finger on. Time has become an amorphous blob in which I have to work at home or look after children at home, worrying the whole time that I’m not doing either well enough. I need to make the time to get lost in time again.

So thank you for helping me realise something that’s been bothering me. Easier said than done to remedy it but at least I know what I’m looking for now!

UTC

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by jdrobbo » Tue Oct 06, 2020 10:32 pm

I’m so pleased you’ve felt it necessary to sign-in and write your thoughts down. I’m glad it has resonated with you and I hope we can all, in our own way, with support from each other, get through it.

Yes you’re right, I do play cornet but not currently ‘playing’. One of the things that gets me down the most is that I’m currently unable to run my school football team, but more, I can’t lead my school choir. There are 121 children in the group: every single one of them loves it and it brings me immense pleasure and pride. I can’t even teach a music lesson in the classroom where children sing! My job is so far removed from what I signed up for, in terms of ‘wider school provision’ and the sooner these vital activities are restored, the better for everyone.

Thanks for taking the time to touch base. Please consider posting your thoughts more often: they’re appreciated and you will be heard.

Take care.

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by WadingInDeeper » Tue Oct 06, 2020 10:36 pm

Everyone is just trying to get through this in their own way, and will miss different things. I've been that busy morning to early morning I don't have time to think some days, I've got at least 3 or 4 meetings online a week, a child to entertain, things to plan/prepare for every weekend and people to message/talk to each week. I'm not the most sociable of people, but I still miss regularly seeing people in person, even if it was only a quick 5 minute chat.

Junior cricket matches/training were great because we could chat to one of our friends, safely, on those nights.

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by jdrobbo » Wed Oct 07, 2020 6:22 am

Hope junior sport is able to make a full return after the winter. Cheers for your post and I’m glad you’re keeping busy still.

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by RammyClaret61 » Wed Oct 07, 2020 7:50 am

Hi John.
Your post sums a lot up for a lot of people the world over. Here 12,000 miles away in Melbourne, we’ve been in lockdown now almost solid for 7 months. Except for a brief period in June. All pubs, restaurants and cafes have basically been shut the whole time. Work as been almost normal for me being a lorry driver, apart from the constant Covid declarations and temperature tests I’m subject to! Following football and especially the Clarets is a different experience here. With our lockdown, we are not allowed to travel more than 5km from our homes, or leave our homes for more than an hour, now 2 hours. Also with our Melbourne Clarets members spread across the whole city. Meeting up of any kind is impossible. Plus the whole time apart from June, we haven’t been allowed visitors at all. Plus visiting family outside the city is a no go. There are roadblocks on minor roads out of Melbourne, and police checkpoints on the major roads. You can only leave the city with a permit, or it’s a $5000 (£2500) fine. So it’s been really tough. I started well with the initial lockdown. Taking a page out of the vicars book. I Lost some weight, got my diabetic blood sugars the lowest they’ve ever been, also reversed my kidney disease from stage 3 back to 2. But this second lockdown since June as hit harder. My walking declined, boredom set in, eating crap set in. I’ve put weight back on and my sugars have increased. I think like everyone both here and there, we just need to know if life is going to be normal anytime soon. Here in Victoria we are currently only getting on average 9 (nine) new cases a day and we’re still in stage 4 lockdown.
Has human beings we crave social activity. Missing it so much. Can I just say, looking from the outside. I’ve been dismayed by the actions of a lot of Brits. Even people I’d say are sensible, posting on Facebook begging people to do the right thing. Then jetting off to Spain on holiday, or driving around Scotland for a fortnight.
Sorry for having a rant.
Can’t wait to get back to the Sherlock for a Clarets night out, with a midnight or earlier kick off.

Up the Clarets everyone, stay safe, keep the faith.

Barney.
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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by JohnMac » Wed Oct 07, 2020 1:02 pm

ClaretTony wrote:
Tue Oct 06, 2020 2:19 am
Since the end of June I’ve been out twice, once for an emergency dental appointment and once for my flu jab.

Things are getting more and more difficult.
Whatever problems there are around someone will be worse off. Try to maintain a bit of positivity and if you ever feel the need to escape for an hour or two I will pick you up and take you to wherever you feel safe.

Remember I am on the doorstep of BARNFIELD or as we like to call it, Gawthorpe.

Don't give in to that horrid black dog!

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by ClaretTony » Wed Oct 07, 2020 1:12 pm

JohnMac wrote:
Wed Oct 07, 2020 1:02 pm
Whatever problems there are around someone will be worse off. Try to maintain a bit of positivity and if you ever feel the need to escape for an hour or two I will pick you up and take you to wherever you feel safe.

Remember I am on the doorstep of BARNFIELD or as we like to call it, Gawthorpe.

Don't give in to that horrid black dog!
Will always be Gawthorpe to me. Even with a sponsor I think it’s shocking to take that name away from the training ground.
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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by jdrobbo » Wed Oct 07, 2020 4:43 pm

RammyClaret61 wrote:
Wed Oct 07, 2020 7:50 am
Hi John.
Your post sums a lot up for a lot of people the world over. Here 12,000 miles away in Melbourne, we’ve been in lockdown now almost solid for 7 months. Except for a brief period in June. All pubs, restaurants and cafes have basically been shut the whole time. Work as been almost normal for me being a lorry driver, apart from the constant Covid declarations and temperature tests I’m subject to! Following football and especially the Clarets is a different experience here. With our lockdown, we are not allowed to travel more than 5km from our homes, or leave our homes for more than an hour, now 2 hours. Also with our Melbourne Clarets members spread across the whole city. Meeting up of any kind is impossible. Plus the whole time apart from June, we haven’t been allowed visitors at all. Plus visiting family outside the city is a no go. There are roadblocks on minor roads out of Melbourne, and police checkpoints on the major roads. You can only leave the city with a permit, or it’s a $5000 (£2500) fine. So it’s been really tough. I started well with the initial lockdown. Taking a page out of the vicars book. I Lost some weight, got my diabetic blood sugars the lowest they’ve ever been, also reversed my kidney disease from stage 3 back to 2. But this second lockdown since June as hit harder. My walking declined, boredom set in, eating crap set in. I’ve put weight back on and my sugars have increased. I think like everyone both here and there, we just need to know if life is going to be normal anytime soon. Here in Victoria we are currently only getting on average 9 (nine) new cases a day and we’re still in stage 4 lockdown.
Has human beings we crave social activity. Missing it so much. Can I just say, looking from the outside. I’ve been dismayed by the actions of a lot of Brits. Even people I’d say are sensible, posting on Facebook begging people to do the right thing. Then jetting off to Spain on holiday, or driving around Scotland for a fortnight.
Sorry for having a rant.
Can’t wait to get back to the Sherlock for a Clarets night out, with a midnight or earlier kick off.

Up the Clarets everyone, stay safe, keep the faith.

Barney.

Lovely to hear from you Barney. Great to get a cue from far away! Take care.

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by JTClaret » Wed Oct 07, 2020 5:24 pm

Great post.

I'm finding it tougher at the moment. I actually enjoyed lockdown for the majority and as such would consider this year a great one (contrary to popular opinion). Time with my son, video calls with friends and family - my parents live on the other side of the world so video calls became easier for us all and my mum could almost spend quality time with my son, although in a virtual sense.

But I'm finding it harder to keep that positivity up and can't work out why. I'm missing going onto the football, and my release feels wrapped in frustration with everything going on re. transfers, injuries and apparent fall-outs. It's a day out for my and my son every fortnight and strangely always has a feeling of 'home' that is almost missing from my actual home.

I'm sure it's just a moment, and this time of year doesn't help for us with the strange thing called SAD, but I will overcome it by being positive, though it'd be nice just to have an afternoon on the Turf with my lad

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by jdrobbo » Wed Oct 07, 2020 5:58 pm

Yup, totally get that. Part of me feels like I’d benefit from driving over from Leeds and just being around the ground and clubshop; it’s grounding.

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by mikeS » Wed Oct 07, 2020 6:53 pm

I think we all miss our old haunts and football most of all that provides a bond, a unity And a passion between us and the club we love. I miss the Saturday afternoon routine Of the Miners, pie and peas and a pint of John Smiths, the banter, the laughter, the stories. The sights, smells and the sounds of the walk to the ground. Connecting with the game. BUrnley a goal down and a comeback victory in the last minute. Going home satisfied, fulfilled.
The actual We all love has gone for now, replaced by isolation and the virtual experience of watching the game on TV. It doesn’t come close. There’s nothing like the live experience. It can’t be replaced. It’s priceless because it’s all about human contact, togetherness, the collective struggle and The suffering. The hard fought victories Against the odds. It’s not there right now and we know what we’re missing. But it will come back one day and the passion will be stronger Than ever.
We will get through this.
Up The Clarets
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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by jdrobbo » Wed Oct 07, 2020 7:01 pm

Nicely put. I hear you!

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by FactualFrank » Wed Oct 07, 2020 7:09 pm

JTClaret wrote:
Wed Oct 07, 2020 5:24 pm
I'm finding it tougher at the moment. I actually enjoyed lockdown for the majority and as such would consider this year a great one (contrary to popular opinion). Time with my son, video calls with friends and family - my parents live on the other side of the world so video calls became easier for us all and my mum could almost spend quality time with my son, although in a virtual sense.

But I'm finding it harder to keep that positivity up and can't work out why. I'm missing going onto the football, and my release feels wrapped in frustration with everything going on re. transfers, injuries and apparent fall-outs. It's a day out for my and my son every fortnight and strangely always has a feeling of 'home' that is almost missing from my actual home.

I'm sure it's just a moment, and this time of year doesn't help for us with the strange thing called SAD, but I will overcome it by being positive, though it'd be nice just to have an afternoon on the Turf with my lad
I enjoyed the start of lockdown too, as I found it so peaceful. I'd go for a walk, the sun was out, and there were fewer cars racing down the main roads, revving their engines. It was just so much more chilled and the people you did see out were all friendly and making sure we kept our distance.

As somebody mentioned, there being no known date as to when this will be all over, it makes it worse. We've no exact target date to aim for.

I expect if we go into full lockdown during the winter months, it may be even harder with the darker nights and darker mornings - as you mentioned, Seasonal Affective Disorder.

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by jdrobbo » Wed Oct 07, 2020 9:20 pm

Agree about the SAD Frank and also have concerns about the winter...circuit breaks, class bubble closures, self-isolation or quarantine....and possibly fill lockdown. We need some light.

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Re: “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression...” - I deeply miss the matchday experience!

Post by WadingInDeeper » Wed Oct 07, 2020 9:45 pm

jdrobbo wrote:
Wed Oct 07, 2020 6:22 am
Hope junior sport is able to make a full return after the winter. Cheers for your post and I’m glad you’re keeping busy still.
Junior cricket was pretty good, no ball and equipment sharing (Not that my son would share his bat anyway), plenty of hand sanitizing and social distance as best they could. Some of the younger ones didn't really get the distancing but the older ones were pretty good. They even carried the ball/bat sharing on when they were playing whilst there was a 1st/2nd team match. Some adult could learn from the children.

By the time it started up they were that desperate to play the weather was more like you'd associate with football and the whites are beyond hope. Wet weather and cold hands didn't do much for a young spinner, but his batting made up for it.

The only thing really missing was that they couldn't develop the same bond as the team did last year, but my son and his friend were at the older end so I don't know if it made much difference.

Over the past 6 months he's kept up with school at home, had more attention and played more sport than he normally would so he benefited from lockdown.

I have good days and bad days.

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