Harmless jokes

Steve1956 · Post by **Steve1956** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 11:39 am

: FB_IMG_1616660479880.jpg (38.14 KiB) Viewed 3885 times

Volvoclaret · Post by **Volvoclaret** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 11:50 am

Hope they didn't shell out too much on the funeral and had a cracking time.

Hapag Lloyd · Post by **Hapag Lloyd** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 11:56 am

He was a good egg.

Rileybobs · Post by **Rileybobs** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 12:10 pm

Harmless yolks.

Foshiznik · Post by **Foshiznik** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 12:13 pm

Hes all white. He was buried in his favourite shell suit...

Bullabill · Post by **Bullabill** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 12:14 pm

I think it's ova.

Steve1956 · Post by **Steve1956** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 12:15 pm

Rileybobs wrote: ↑
Thu Mar 25, 2021 12:10 pm
Harmless yolks.

Bugger!!! I missed a trick

Bosscat · Post by **Bosscat** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 12:19 pm

Cracking thread

Bosscat · Post by **Bosscat** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 12:23 pm

Better than his mates, one got boiled and had his head bashed in and the other got beaten up and his brains scrambled with microwaves

Claretjug · Post by **Claretjug** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 12:24 pm

It's a shame, as he had just come out of his Shell.

Bosscat · Post by **Bosscat** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 12:32 pm

Please don't take this thread to the "Eggstreme" and "Eggsasperate" the powers that be ........

icu81b4 · Post by **icu81b4** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 12:38 pm

Fresh Laid to rest

Rowls · Post by **Rowls** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 12:50 pm

There is no such thing as a harmless joke.

Jokes are literally violence.

Check your privilege.

Hipper · Post by **Hipper** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 12:56 pm

I suppose he could have died being poked by a load of soldiers.

KateR · Post by **KateR** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 2:20 pm

eggceedingly good. You know how to crack em, I bet Benedict missed him, at least he wasn't nuked

Bosscat · Post by **Bosscat** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 2:21 pm

: Hen-Pun.jpg (80.32 KiB) Viewed 3447 times

Zlatan · Post by **Zlatan** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 2:51 pm

Rowls wrote: ↑
Thu Mar 25, 2021 12:50 pm
There is no such thing as a harmless joke.

Jokes are literally violence.

Check your privilege.

that's the best one yet Rowls

joey13 · Post by **joey13** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 3:58 pm

Do you ever cluck on a thread and wish you hadn’t

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 4:41 pm

No holidays abroad this year so Boris and the gang set off for a Full Moon Party in Hat Rim and they run out of London...

Steve1956 · Post by **Steve1956** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 4:42 pm

That was good craic...time to move on

: FB_IMG_1616690240368.jpg (60.49 KiB) Viewed 3204 times

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 4:42 pm

Capitol Hill, sink hole?

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 4:44 pm

The old songs are the best...

'Persius he go to Falariki, say good but not Mycenae"

Steve1956 · Post by **Steve1956** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 4:46 pm

Pstotto wrote: ↑
Thu Mar 25, 2021 4:42 pm
Capitol Hill, sink hole?

Please dont spoil this thread like you did the last joke one.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 4:53 pm

I sent an email to the local MP and I got a call centre text back saying 'Don't stir...'

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 4:58 pm

Civil Engineering Party Conference and they sum up the events and they come to an agreement and the convenor says 'Right then... Frack London/ Re-float Thanet... Londoners''ll dig this.'

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 5:12 pm

Jimmy Young Meme Show 'And we have a letter from Ruislip from a listener and he's got a question for Dr.Caligari and he writes that he's run out of muckers and he's in a bit of a mess, well, doc?

And he instantly replies with gusto 'Astin Martin Monster Trucks'.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 5:14 pm

Spurs have got a new band together, Shazan Dave...

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 5:36 pm

Latest TV News and the Germans are up in arms again about Dad's Army...

dsr · Post by **dsr** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 5:37 pm

fao Pstotto - it is not fair to monopolize a joke thread. Other people, who don't share your sense of humour (which is a lot of us), want a fair crack of the whip.

So here's a rule. Maximum two jokes posted per person - this means you - on this thread. That way we all get a chance.

You can start a new thread called "pstotto jokes" as well, on which you can post what you want.

Is that fair?

Rowls · Post by **Rowls** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 5:41 pm

I think dsr has a point pstotto.

You do have an acquired sense of humour.

Volvoclaret · Post by **Volvoclaret** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 5:45 pm

Rowls wrote: ↑
Thu Mar 25, 2021 5:41 pm
I think dsr has a point pstotto.

You do have an acquired sense of humour.

Eggsactly

Bosscat · Post by **Bosscat** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 5:50 pm

dsr wrote: ↑
Thu Mar 25, 2021 5:37 pm
fao Pstotto - it is not fair to monopolize a joke thread. Other people, who don't share your sense of humour (which is a lot of us), want a fair crack of the whip.

So here's a rule. Maximum two jokes posted per person - this means you - on this thread. That way we all get a chance.

You can start a new thread called "pstotto jokes" as well, on which you can post what you want.

Is that fair?

Eggcellent dsr

Volvoclaret · Post by **Volvoclaret** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 5:56 pm

He really is eggsasperating.

Buxtonclaret · Post by **Buxtonclaret** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 5:56 pm

Scarves are apparently the most dangerous sort of clothing you can have.
Vests are apparently the least, as they're completely armless.

......oh , sorry....HARMless jokes...

Buxtonclaret · Post by **Buxtonclaret** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 5:58 pm

Volvoclaret wrote: ↑
Thu Mar 25, 2021 5:56 pm
He really is eggsasperating.

Makes you want to gatecrash a Hen Party...

Volvoclaret · Post by **Volvoclaret** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 6:01 pm

Buxtonclaret wrote: ↑
Thu Mar 25, 2021 5:58 pm
Makes you want to gatecrash a Hen Party...

Grab a few chicks

Steve1956 · Post by **Steve1956** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 6:16 pm

: FB_IMG_1616696366545.jpg (64.14 KiB) Viewed 2924 times

Bosscat · Post by **Bosscat** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 6:17 pm

Buxtonclaret wrote: ↑
Thu Mar 25, 2021 5:56 pm
Scarves are apparently the most dangerous sort of clothing you can have.
Vests are apparently the least, as they're completely armless.

......oh , sorry....HARMless jokes...

GodIsADeeJay81 · Post by **GodIsADeeJay81** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 6:18 pm

: IMG_20210325_181532.jpg (34.62 KiB) Viewed 2918 times

Steve1956 · Post by **Steve1956** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 6:27 pm

The future.

: FB_IMG_1616697009802.jpg (65.45 KiB) Viewed 2882 times

Steve1956 · Post by **Steve1956** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 6:44 pm

: FB_IMG_1616698086245.jpg (39.15 KiB) Viewed 2838 times

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 7:04 pm

Gid and the next quote for the Tape scene is 'But don't forget to take the pencil out of the tape when you've finished the operation.'

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 7:15 pm

We went to a country pub for lunch before the match and it was full so we decided to drive on to the next and we went in and it was empty and we asked if we could eat and the wife looked at the husband as he was pulling the pints and said OK and so we ordered and when the food came I asked her why the pub was empty and she said 'Well we don't generally have regular customers next day"...

bfcjg · Post by **bfcjg** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 8:12 pm

: gettyimages-1221136002-612x612.jpg (81.71 KiB) Viewed 2606 times

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 9:26 pm

There's been people calling the Arabs about spending and the oil running out and what they're going to do and they say well ordinarily we're happy to live in tents in the desert and we like it, but we thought we'd just have a bit of fun...

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 9:32 pm

"Shall we have a do at building the tallest skyscraper?"

"Yeah...... Go then, shall we?

Let's have a do."

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 9:42 pm

There's a tiny little bug on the wall, I'm not quite sure anyway it seems to be entirely interested in the surface of the wall and I thought what and then I realized... There's a film of olive oil on the walls from the cooking and the condensation and over a period of time, I presume that it ferments and on a microscopic level, it's probably not so bad...

I'll let it live for now.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 9:47 pm

Somewhere over the other side of the matrix...

"We've run out of London, has anybody got any left?"

Sozturf7 · Post by **Sozturf7** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 9:52 pm

Go away

huw.Y.WattfromWare · Post by **huw.Y.WattfromWare** » Thu Mar 25, 2021 9:58 pm

Pstotto wrote: ↑
Thu Mar 25, 2021 9:47 pm
Somewhere over the other side of the matrix...
"We've run out of London, has anybody got any left?"

Please P. Take your medicine. I’m worried about you.