I was clearing out a few files and folders from the computer and came upon this article that I'd saved from years back. It rings even truer now in light of the ESL ...but the main reason I'm sharing it is because it's funny
Arsenal seek bye for FA Cup Final
16-05-14
ARSENAL should get the FA Cup without having to play in the final, according to manager Arsene Wenger.
Citing their superior corporate hospitality and the world-class players they sell to other clubs, the club has suggested the trophy should just be awarded to them at Wembley in a closed ceremony.
Wenger said: “The last thing any neutral wants to see is our languid, cultured players being kicked into the air by a bunch of dreadful Northerners who think quinoa plays for West Ham.
“Quite why the FA wants Hull, and I’m not being disrespectful here by calling them guttersnipes, to embarrass themselves in front of their betters baffles me.”
Arsenal have already reserved an open top bus and arranged for Islington council to close the route of the parade, from the Emirates to a charming little Peruvian restaurant where the players will celebrate with ceviche and anticuchos.
Hull manager Steve Bruce said: “I was going to lodge a protest, but then I remembered our shirt sponsor is Cash Converters.
“Instead I’ve hired a speech therapist so the players can say ‘Most kind of you to let us play,’ without sounding like they have a toffee in their mouth that’s trying to escape.”
Wenger said: “If only we could dispense with the whole grubby business of kicking a ball about on soil altogether. That’s the dream, isn’t it?”
old Daily Mash article
old Daily Mash article
These 2 users liked this post: Juan Tanamera bobinho
Re: old Daily Mash article
I remember us being linked with Quinoa but West Ham offered better wages.
This user liked this post: LeadBelly
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Re: old Daily Mash article
Understand we missed out on the young Greek Tara masalata!
Re: old Daily Mash article
Are you sure its Spelt correctly
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Re: old Daily Mash article
Bulgar me, I know it goes against the grain but i’d go for Rice at west ham