Lonely this Christmas.......

This Forum is the main messageboard to discuss all things Claret and Blue and beyond
BurnleyMickSouth
Posts: 317
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 1:43 pm
Been Liked: 281 times

Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by BurnleyMickSouth » Thu Dec 23, 2021 3:42 pm

Merry Christmas to all Clarets fans this time of the year, all around the World,

However there are lots of Clarets fans who will have nobody or any type of festive cheer due to being on there own, myself included, i have before posted on here regarding my being stabbed in the back by a wife that i worshipped i am still in love with her, i cant get her out of my head, iv tried but it does not work

i did everything that she asked of me, we are not divorced, i know not where she is, or if she is with another man, its been 4 and a half years since she did what she did to me, she has not contacted or spoken to me since, the thing is i think about her every single day of the year, but when you wake up on Christmas morning with no presents or cards its very hard to take, i have a 4yr old grandaughter who my wife wont let me see or hold, this is my wife taking her revenge on a decent law abiding husband who loved her to bits

i shed a lot of tears when i see something on tv regarding child abuse, being beaten, mentally abused,it upsets me deeply,how do peopl do what they do to a baby or a young child, it beats me to be honest, i myself have been married before but my wife passed away in a fire, we never had children due to my being infertile, but i always had my wifes family around me, then i married my present wife and took on her 2 sons aged 12 and 14 in 2005, i moved 250 miles away from Lancashire to be with Tracey and spoilt her rotten,

also her sons grew up to be good lads, now they are 31 and 33 years old they never come to see me or have any type of contact with me, they believe everything that she told them, like i said i gave up everything including my beloved Clarets, i am now coming up to my 66th birthday but that day will be just like Christmas day, nothing to celibrate no retirement cards, nothing but just another day in my rubbish life,

i now dont trust any woman and am not in a relationship, my wife destroyed my life and took everything i had, i loved her so much and still do, i have a nice flat here in Surrey, i built it all up again from scratch, but have nobody in my life to go out with, share things, and talk to, id like someone to be with but i have been with nobody since my Tracey did what she did to me, so just hoping that i could meet a lady Claret from down here and have something in common,(that has not happend yet), i am a good honest man, i dont deserve what has happened to me but that is what my wife did she destroyed my life full stop, so i just want to also say i hope everyone thats on there own this Christmas and New Year the very best for the coming year, and also pass my sympathy on to everyone that has lost someone this past year.

GodIsADeeJay81
Posts: 14566
Joined: Thu Feb 01, 2018 9:55 am
Been Liked: 3435 times
Has Liked: 6339 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by GodIsADeeJay81 » Thu Dec 23, 2021 3:51 pm

Lot to unpack there, but whereabouts are you in Surrey?

Steve1956
Posts: 17179
Joined: Fri Dec 30, 2016 1:57 pm
Been Liked: 6463 times
Has Liked: 2896 times
Location: Fife

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Steve1956 » Thu Dec 23, 2021 3:59 pm

Chin up Mick,you really do need to move on though....all the best buddy.
This user liked this post: ŽižkovClaret

ClaretDiver
Posts: 2165
Joined: Sun Jan 24, 2016 5:00 am
Been Liked: 553 times
Has Liked: 131 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by ClaretDiver » Thu Dec 23, 2021 4:04 pm

BurnleyMickSouth wrote:
Thu Dec 23, 2021 3:42 pm
Merry Christmas to all Clarets fans this time of the year, all around the World,

However there are lots of Clarets fans who will have nobody or any type of festive cheer due to being on there own, myself included, i have before posted on here regarding my being stabbed in the back by a wife that i worshipped i am still in love with her, i cant get her out of my head, iv tried but it does not work

i did everything that she asked of me, we are not divorced, i know not where she is, or if she is with another man, its been 4 and a half years since she did what she did to me, she has not contacted or spoken to me since, the thing is i think about her every single day of the year, but when you wake up on Christmas morning with no presents or cards its very hard to take, i have a 4yr old grandaughter who my wife wont let me see or hold, this is my wife taking her revenge on a decent law abiding husband who loved her to bits

i shed a lot of tears when i see something on tv regarding child abuse, being beaten, mentally abused,it upsets me deeply,how do peopl do what they do to a baby or a young child, it beats me to be honest, i myself have been married before but my wife passed away in a fire, we never had children due to my being infertile, but i always had my wifes family around me, then i married my present wife and took on her 2 sons aged 12 and 14 in 2005, i moved 250 miles away from Lancashire to be with Tracey and spoilt her rotten,

also her sons grew up to be good lads, now they are 31 and 33 years old they never come to see me or have any type of contact with me, they believe everything that she told them, like i said i gave up everything including my beloved Clarets, i am now coming up to my 66th birthday but that day will be just like Christmas day, nothing to celibrate no retirement cards, nothing but just another day in my rubbish life,

i now dont trust any woman and am not in a relationship, my wife destroyed my life and took everything i had, i loved her so much and still do, i have a nice flat here in Surrey, i built it all up again from scratch, but have nobody in my life to go out with, share things, and talk to, id like someone to be with but i have been with nobody since my Tracey did what she did to me, so just hoping that i could meet a lady Claret from down here and have something in common,(that has not happend yet), i am a good honest man, i dont deserve what has happened to me but that is what my wife did she destroyed my life full stop, so i just want to also say i hope everyone thats on there own this Christmas and New Year the very best for the coming year, and also pass my sympathy on to everyone that has lost someone this past year.
Hey Mick, I remember you other post about what has happened to you in the past and I truly feel for you buddy. What I am about to write maybe easier said than done after what has happened but you seem to have your s**t together, maybe this year is the year you need to finally let go and try and move on....like I said, easier said than done....but you have a Claret family here so feel free to post whenever and whatever! Try and have a great Christmas buddy....

CD

Bosscat
Posts: 25366
Joined: Mon Oct 01, 2018 9:51 am
Been Liked: 8431 times
Has Liked: 18098 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Bosscat » Thu Dec 23, 2021 4:07 pm

All the best Mick ... I think I speak for Clarets everywhere our thoughts are with you at this time...

We really do hope you do have a good Christmas Buddy
These 2 users liked this post: ClaretDiver Bcap1959

lakedistrictclaret
Posts: 1487
Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2016 9:30 am
Been Liked: 517 times
Has Liked: 183 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by lakedistrictclaret » Thu Dec 23, 2021 4:12 pm

mrs lakedistrict died three and a half years and whilst I do miss her, I've coped and I have no problem at all living on my own ( although I'd find it difficult without a dog ). I do not need or want another relationship.

So I guess I'm in a better position than you, Mick.

Obviously I do not know your circumstances, but from your post it seems that you have recently retired from work.

Steve 1956 and ClaretDiver have both said move on, and I agree.

My advice is, move back to Burnley.
These 2 users liked this post: FCBurnley morpheus2

Steve1956
Posts: 17179
Joined: Fri Dec 30, 2016 1:57 pm
Been Liked: 6463 times
Has Liked: 2896 times
Location: Fife

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Steve1956 » Thu Dec 23, 2021 4:15 pm

lakedistrictclaret wrote:
Thu Dec 23, 2021 4:12 pm
mrs lakedistrict died three and a half years and whilst I do miss her, I've coped and I have no problem at all living on my own ( although I'd find it difficult without a dog ). I do not need or want another relationship.

So I guess I'm in a better position than you, Mick.

Obviously I do not know your circumstances, but from your post it seems that you have recently retired from work.

Steve 1956 and ClaretDiver have both said move on, and I agree.

My advice is, move back to Burnley.
Moving back home,I think that's a great suggestion from Lakedistrictclaret,find old friends,go on theTurf,things will improve...

ClaretDiver
Posts: 2165
Joined: Sun Jan 24, 2016 5:00 am
Been Liked: 553 times
Has Liked: 131 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by ClaretDiver » Thu Dec 23, 2021 4:17 pm

lakedistrictclaret wrote:
Thu Dec 23, 2021 4:12 pm
mrs lakedistrict died three and a half years and whilst I do miss her, I've coped and I have no problem at all living on my own ( although I'd find it difficult without a dog ). I do not need or want another relationship.

So I guess I'm in a better position than you, Mick.

Obviously I do not know your circumstances, but from your post it seems that you have recently retired from work.

Steve 1956 and ClaretDiver have both said move on, and I agree.

My advice is, move back to Burnley.
Top idea if you can move back home....it will help you to reconnect with others and move forward in a really positive manner....

Rowls
Posts: 13163
Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2016 11:00 pm
Been Liked: 5065 times
Has Liked: 5124 times
Location: Montpellier, France

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Rowls » Thu Dec 23, 2021 4:24 pm

One of the few things you can keep doing Mick is to keep buggering on.

Get out and about as much as possible. Go for walks, find a friendly local pub. Throw yourself into everything you can do and expect to get nothing back - do it all simply for the sake of it.

There will be times when you think you don't want to do anything but if you go and do something, even just to spite that feeling, you'll find it is better to do anything than to do nothing.

There will be times when bad memories and hurt come flooding back but if you manage to get out and about enough there will also create the possibility and for times when you genuinely enjoy yourself and find something to focus on. Even if it's as brief as a tiny moment within a quick conversation down the pub, losing yourself for a few moments at the football, enjoying a scenic view on a walk, laughing at the funnies thread.

If you do enough things you'll find one day that you passed a tiny moment so busily or so focused on something else that for a few tiny moments you didn't even think about it because you were busy in the present.

More you do the more chances you have of finding these tiny moments. And the more of these tiny moments you find, the more chances you create to find new happiness and new opportunities.
These 5 users liked this post: Bosscat ClaretDiver longsidepies Burnleyareback2 Bcap1959

Rowls
Posts: 13163
Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2016 11:00 pm
Been Liked: 5065 times
Has Liked: 5124 times
Location: Montpellier, France

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Rowls » Thu Dec 23, 2021 4:28 pm

Best wishes BurnleyMick.

FCBurnley
Posts: 9697
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 3:56 pm
Been Liked: 1967 times
Has Liked: 1132 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by FCBurnley » Thu Dec 23, 2021 4:42 pm

Get a 2022 calendar and try and put as many things on it that you can. They can be anything you enjoy. Burnley fixtures will be the first thing. Try and put at least 1 thing for every week. If you have the money cruising ( in normal times) can be a great thing to do. Whatever you enjoy just make sure you Always have things to look forward to. How about going on a world tour of Clarets fans ? Lots on here from all over the world inc me. Don’t know if you are into other Sports but Golf is very sociable and would certainly get you out and about. So let’s go Mick. It’s a big world out there. All the best
This user liked this post: longsidepies

DAVETHEVICAR
Posts: 2980
Joined: Sat Jan 02, 2016 11:33 pm
Been Liked: 827 times
Has Liked: 1609 times
Location: Lincoln

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by DAVETHEVICAR » Thu Dec 23, 2021 5:02 pm

Lots of good posts on here Burnley MickSouth and lake districtclaret’s suggesting a move back to Burnley seems to be a great idea if it is possible
Whatever you decide all the very best to you for Christmas and the years ahead
Join in all the posts on this site and you will feel less lonely .

bfcjg
Posts: 13157
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2016 8:17 pm
Been Liked: 5004 times
Has Liked: 6722 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by bfcjg » Thu Dec 23, 2021 5:27 pm

Good luck Mick there are singles clubs and things you could try. Look forward not back,it's your life not hers let it go, move back to Burnley you'll find a real community.

Boss Hogg
Posts: 3295
Joined: Sun Jul 26, 2020 10:34 am
Been Liked: 846 times
Has Liked: 1090 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Boss Hogg » Thu Dec 23, 2021 5:32 pm

I remember the post last year. Loads of good ideas on here.At some point you have to move on. Make a commitment to yourself it will be this year.ie get your sh*t together ! Dwelling on negative stuff from the past isn’t going to do you any good or make it any better. Think of 2022 as a clean slate. Get your diary full, join some clubs/ activities and create some new memories.

Alanstevensonsgloves
Posts: 1264
Joined: Sat Jan 23, 2016 12:40 am
Been Liked: 342 times
Has Liked: 399 times
Location: From Accy, Exiled in Surrey

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Alanstevensonsgloves » Thu Dec 23, 2021 5:36 pm

Hi BMS, I started a thread recently on living and being alone. I livedin Surrey for a number of years and had to make a choice between staying down there (where my 9 yr old daughter lives with her mum) and moving back up here. I chose to move back up north - could afford a house,job is portable, more friends and family up here, lots of lovely countryside etc. It has been a struggle since moving back as my circle of friends are all coupled up and I am single, so not very boxed is ticked and at times I still feel lonely, but I am out and about more than I was in Surrey. Every second weekend I now have a 10 hour round trip to Surrey to see my daughter and stay with friends or airbnb down there, but she is worth it and it is my decision to move back up here, so I will never grumble about the journey.

I note on anther thread that there are some male groups in around Burnley that could help kickstart a special life if needed up here. Someone also mentionned on a thread that through walking football they had developed a little social life.

I am the last person to offer relationship advice I am afraid. There are numerous exes that I should have stayed with etc if I look back on it so my history isn't a good example. As others have said, nothing will get better until you learn how to move on.

I wish you the best of luck mate. Life is really a mental struggle sometimes for sure. It is great that you have opened up about it as that is a really positive step, acknowledging that you have a problem that needs fixing.

Jakubclaret
Posts: 9441
Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2016 10:47 pm
Been Liked: 1180 times
Has Liked: 778 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Jakubclaret » Thu Dec 23, 2021 5:44 pm

Steve1956 wrote:
Thu Dec 23, 2021 3:59 pm
Chin up Mick,you really do need to move on though....all the best buddy.
Easier said than done & depending on the person & what’s actually happened it can be difficult to detach yourself away from that to move on from, on a separate side note all the best mick & try to keep yourself busy & surrounded by positive people if you need the company.

AlargeClaret
Posts: 4428
Joined: Sat Aug 05, 2017 8:55 pm
Been Liked: 1148 times
Has Liked: 180 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by AlargeClaret » Thu Dec 23, 2021 6:04 pm

Wish you well mate , hard as it is you MUST move on, you have to go through the grind of actually mentally moving on ,not just pretending, get that slate cleaned . You’re young enough to start over, you seem financially sound. You probs need to totally move away , force yourself into new activities ( you’ll end up loving some ) There’s a world of internet dating out there and a new year to boot . Plenty of good vibes heading your way from the forum ,don’t waste em . You’ll feels miles better by boxing day, good luck

BenWickes
Posts: 2000
Joined: Fri Jun 26, 2020 6:27 pm
Been Liked: 645 times
Has Liked: 470 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by BenWickes » Thu Dec 23, 2021 7:23 pm

Well. Having read that I had to log in. Mick. I am not meaning to sound harsh as I know only too well how loving someone who doesn''t share the same feelings (she broke up with me Xmas Eve of all times) can destroy you.
First off. Own yourself. Don't let her consume your thoughts. She's clearly not worth it or you. You know deep down you're a good person who deserves better and sorry, you clearly deserve better than her. Don't let her own your thoughts. She's not worthy.
I know that is difficult, painfully so; but regather your thoughts around positive people, people you know and trust at this time of year.
Holding on to something that is no longer attainable seems a fruitless task. I am sure you know that but the heartache remains. That will pass but you need to let go of this 'My Tracey' ideal and think, well; she wasn't good enough for me after all. Clearly she wasn't.
Now I don't know the in's and out's of the relationship but it is time to surround yourself with people who DO care and don't rush into relationships. I've been there and the best way to find true love is to let it just happen. Love, where you don't even realise you were interested in each other blind sides you and takes you by surprise but in my experience at least. Not looking and just letting it happen. I've posted before how I wasn't looking for a relationship at all having just come out of that Xmas Eve bombshell. Hated women. Met my future wife totally by chance a good 9 months later and we've been together ten years.
Focus on you, not her. It's better for your health and well being. A lady will enter your life when you least expect it.
Have a good Christmas and mate, it's time to lay Tracey to rest and move on.
I am sure I speak for all of us. We're here for you.
This user liked this post: Holmeclaret

Steve1956
Posts: 17179
Joined: Fri Dec 30, 2016 1:57 pm
Been Liked: 6463 times
Has Liked: 2896 times
Location: Fife

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Steve1956 » Thu Dec 23, 2021 7:30 pm

Jakubclaret wrote:
Thu Dec 23, 2021 5:44 pm
Easier said than done & depending on the person
Me and Mick are exactly the same age,I've had many knockbacks ....you know what I did I moved on it's the only way,no one can help Mick....its totally up to him and I stick by what advice I gave him move on Mick

BenWickes
Posts: 2000
Joined: Fri Jun 26, 2020 6:27 pm
Been Liked: 645 times
Has Liked: 470 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by BenWickes » Thu Dec 23, 2021 7:32 pm

Steve1956 wrote:
Thu Dec 23, 2021 7:30 pm
Me and Mick are exactly the same age,I've had many knockbacks ....you know what I did I moved on it's the only way,no one can help Mick....its totally up to him and I stick by what advice I gave him move on Mick
I am sure he will but emotions can't just be turned off. It's clearly hurting. In time he will. For now he just needs support from fellow Clarets/friends.

Steve1956
Posts: 17179
Joined: Fri Dec 30, 2016 1:57 pm
Been Liked: 6463 times
Has Liked: 2896 times
Location: Fife

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Steve1956 » Thu Dec 23, 2021 7:35 pm

BenWickes wrote:
Thu Dec 23, 2021 7:32 pm
I am sure he will but emotions can't just be turned off. It's clearly hurting. In time he will. For now he just needs support from fellow Clarets/friends.
But.....four and a half years?
Is that to long?

BenWickes
Posts: 2000
Joined: Fri Jun 26, 2020 6:27 pm
Been Liked: 645 times
Has Liked: 470 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by BenWickes » Thu Dec 23, 2021 7:40 pm

Steve1956 wrote:
Thu Dec 23, 2021 7:35 pm
But.....four and a half years?
Is that to long?
Wait! What? Four and a half years? I thought she'd left a few months ago.
Oh that puts an entirely different spin on it. Christ! If that's true he really needs to let it go.
Really time to move on after a couple of months but four years?

Billy Balfour
Posts: 3979
Joined: Mon May 28, 2018 3:00 pm
Been Liked: 1857 times
Has Liked: 652 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Billy Balfour » Thu Dec 23, 2021 7:43 pm

Sometimes people seek happiness in misery. It's a way of holding on to something that is lost, but they don't want to fully admit it to themselves.

You have to let go, Mick. Four and a half years is way too long to live with this breakup 'grief'. If you can't do it yourself, then seek professional help. You don't have to live like this.

Jakubclaret
Posts: 9441
Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2016 10:47 pm
Been Liked: 1180 times
Has Liked: 778 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Jakubclaret » Thu Dec 23, 2021 7:44 pm

Steve1956 wrote:
Thu Dec 23, 2021 7:30 pm
Me and Mick are exactly the same age,I've had many knockbacks ....you know what I did I moved on it's the only way,no one can help Mick....its totally up to him and I stick by what advice I gave him move on Mick
I agree 100% with you I know exactly what he’s going thru & the darkness he’s suffering & moving on is the only way, all I’m saying it’s easier said than done you make it sound as if it’s tea & 2 sugars, the sh1t he’s gone thru it can take years to overcome even with professional support.

Steve1956
Posts: 17179
Joined: Fri Dec 30, 2016 1:57 pm
Been Liked: 6463 times
Has Liked: 2896 times
Location: Fife

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Steve1956 » Thu Dec 23, 2021 7:47 pm

Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind...I don't want to upset Mick more than he obviously is but I still stand by the moving on comment,people suffer shite in their lives everyday...

Jakubclaret
Posts: 9441
Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2016 10:47 pm
Been Liked: 1180 times
Has Liked: 778 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Jakubclaret » Thu Dec 23, 2021 7:51 pm

Steve1956 wrote:
Thu Dec 23, 2021 7:47 pm
Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind...I don't want to upset Mick more than he obviously is but I still stand by the moving on comment,people suffer shite in their lives everyday...
They do with varying levels & frequencies, some people seem to sail through life & others are constantly dragged back by sh1t. Sometimes people would probably benefit from professional counselling & not advice from here even though the advice offered is generally sound & well intentioned.

Steve1956
Posts: 17179
Joined: Fri Dec 30, 2016 1:57 pm
Been Liked: 6463 times
Has Liked: 2896 times
Location: Fife

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Steve1956 » Thu Dec 23, 2021 7:52 pm

Jakubclaret wrote:
Thu Dec 23, 2021 7:51 pm
They do with varying levels & frequencies, some people seem to sail through life & others are constantly dragged back by sh1t. Sometimes people would probably benefit from professional counselling & not advice from here even though the advice offered is generally sound & well intentioned.
Ok.

BenWickes
Posts: 2000
Joined: Fri Jun 26, 2020 6:27 pm
Been Liked: 645 times
Has Liked: 470 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by BenWickes » Thu Dec 23, 2021 9:52 pm

Jakubclaret wrote:
Thu Dec 23, 2021 7:51 pm
They do with varying levels & frequencies, some people seem to sail through life & others are constantly dragged back by sh1t. Sometimes people would probably benefit from professional counselling & not advice from here even though the advice offered is generally sound & well intentioned.
If, as Steve alluded to; Mick's partner left years ago it really is time to move the f*ck on. Counsellors at the best of times are self attention seeking jobsworths. If Mick has been seeking their help, no f*cking wonder he is still f&cked up!

Steve is bob on man. Get a grip of reality. 4 months I totally get, 4 years its time to wobble the head.

BurnleyMickSouth
Posts: 317
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 1:43 pm
Been Liked: 281 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by BurnleyMickSouth » Thu Dec 23, 2021 10:09 pm

Thanks as usual to all my Claret friends and the advice given by you all, some I will take on board other bits I will disregard, but coming on here helps, where do I live someone asked, I live in Walton-On-Thames in Surrey, Merry Christmas to you all.
This user liked this post: Rowls

Jakubclaret
Posts: 9441
Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2016 10:47 pm
Been Liked: 1180 times
Has Liked: 778 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Jakubclaret » Thu Dec 23, 2021 10:24 pm

BenWickes wrote:
Thu Dec 23, 2021 9:52 pm
If, as Steve alluded to; Mick's partner left years ago it really is time to move the f*ck on. Counsellors at the best of times are self attention seeking jobsworths. If Mick has been seeking their help, no f*cking wonder he is still f&cked up!

Steve is bob on man. Get a grip of reality. 4 months I totally get, 4 years its time to wobble the head.
1 man 1 woman it’s straightforward you are leaving a trail of dust behind, kids you have become attached to you are straying into a different type of territory.
This user liked this post: Burnley1989

Notsosuperstevedavis
Posts: 299
Joined: Sat Jan 23, 2016 9:59 pm
Been Liked: 101 times
Has Liked: 31 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Notsosuperstevedavis » Fri Dec 24, 2021 12:36 am

Hi BMS,

I too have had a few bad experiences - also one with a Tracy!

The advice to move on is good advice.
You cant live in the past. The past is gone. You can only live in the present.
Please do what you can to to live for ‘now’ and make time count.

The suggestion of moving home and seeing the Clarets must be a tempting one, as it would be for many on here.

I hope the extended Claret family can give you some comfort that you most certainly are not alone.

I will think of you on the big day.

All the best.

fidelcastro
Posts: 7236
Joined: Sun Feb 28, 2016 8:45 pm
Been Liked: 2196 times
Has Liked: 2179 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by fidelcastro » Fri Dec 24, 2021 1:04 am

This is who the OP reminded me of.

https://youtu.be/wf75SDhfwdg

SouthLondonexile
Posts: 564
Joined: Sun Jun 21, 2020 1:35 pm
Been Liked: 84 times
Has Liked: 247 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by SouthLondonexile » Fri Dec 24, 2021 8:00 am

Rotten to feel this way Mick.
I think the Claret family feel for you. I do urge you to seek a good listener , perhaps a counsellor through your GP.
Do keep talking and I am confident you will find a way through this heartache.
UTC

Tribesmen
Posts: 5065
Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2016 11:15 am
Been Liked: 1176 times
Has Liked: 635 times
Location: Tibet

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Tribesmen » Fri Dec 24, 2021 3:07 pm

Yep you have to move forward but it's up to you to decide when to do it .

Also two sides to every story , would love to hear the other side .

Paul Waine
Posts: 9845
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2016 2:28 pm
Been Liked: 2344 times
Has Liked: 3164 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Paul Waine » Fri Dec 24, 2021 4:13 pm

BurnleyMickSouth wrote:
Thu Dec 23, 2021 10:09 pm
Thanks as usual to all my Claret friends and the advice given by you all, some I will take on board other bits I will disregard, but coming on here helps, where do I live someone asked, I live in Walton-On-Thames in Surrey, Merry Christmas to you all.
Hi Mick, have you tried Walking Football? There appears to be a big walking football group in Walton-On-Thames: www.waltonwalkingfootball.co.uk

I started playing walking football last summer (not Walton). I've been enjoying it - though I've been out injured since beginning of Nov and may take several more weeks to get back.

Good luck with everything.

UTC

Bin Ont Turf
Posts: 10948
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 9:38 am
Been Liked: 5154 times
Has Liked: 795 times
Location: On top of a pink elephant riding to the Democratic Republic of Congo

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Bin Ont Turf » Fri Dec 24, 2021 10:01 pm

What sickener of a story.

If you're on here tomorrow Mick, I'll have a chat with yer.

Keep coming back Claret.

BurnleyMickSouth
Posts: 317
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 1:43 pm
Been Liked: 281 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by BurnleyMickSouth » Fri Dec 24, 2021 10:23 pm

To Paul Waine...& Bin on Turf, thanks for your suggestion Paul, i have had a look at the link and might see about giving it a go, but i had to laugh when you said you were out injured how the hell did you do that with Walking Football... :lol:

reply to BOT, i will be on here sometime tomorrow but cant give a time sorry, and to both of you MERRY CHRISTMAS, and up the Clarets, WHEN we get to play a match. :roll:
This user liked this post: Bin Ont Turf

Bin Ont Turf
Posts: 10948
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 9:38 am
Been Liked: 5154 times
Has Liked: 795 times
Location: On top of a pink elephant riding to the Democratic Republic of Congo

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Bin Ont Turf » Fri Dec 24, 2021 10:36 pm

Merry Christmas Mick.

I will just have to keep popping on throughout the day then. 8-)

In between the Martini's of course. Stirred and not shaken, as I'm not an MI6 trained killer, unfortunately. :)

warksclaret
Posts: 6594
Joined: Sat Jan 23, 2016 7:13 pm
Been Liked: 1676 times
Has Liked: 754 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by warksclaret » Fri Dec 24, 2021 10:56 pm

So sad to hear. I went through very severe sleep anxiety last year which went on for 11 months and I would not wish it on anyone. Counselling told me to keep occupied throughout the day to stop the subconscious worrying about not sleeping-too many "what-if" scenarios going through your mind. I sense the same is happening to you.I kept myself fully occupied each day creating a diary for next day of things to do and rekindled two hobbies I never had time to do before retirement-fishing and golf, and rekindled friendships with friends who had drifted away. I am now getting back to my old self and absolutely love the tranquility and challenge of fishing.Find things to do that stop you thinking about your wife-at least you have away games at Palace , Watford, Spurs and Arsenal to look forward to (if we ever play them)

Burnleyareback2
Posts: 2664
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 10:07 pm
Been Liked: 772 times
Has Liked: 1426 times
Location: Mostly Europe

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Burnleyareback2 » Fri Dec 24, 2021 11:24 pm

All the best Mick and to any others from the Claret family who aren’t at their best.

You’re not alone, tomorrow is just another day closer to a new year with a new start.

UTC
This user liked this post: Juan Tanamera

beeholeclaret
Posts: 679
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2016 10:03 pm
Been Liked: 288 times
Has Liked: 407 times
Location: Burnley

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by beeholeclaret » Fri Dec 24, 2021 11:49 pm

Mick - I couldn’t help feeling for you as I read your words. I myself have had some bad experiences over the years and at the last count I can think of 4 times in my life where I’ve had to pick myself up, dust myself down and try to crack on with life. I’m sure somewhere along the line this has had a detrimental effect on my physical and mental health. I’ve had good family support and many friends and work colleagues who have helped me get through. It is important though to move on and some people find it more difficult to move on. I used to get bitter and upset about things and I found it helped me massively to write it all down on a large pad. I used to write page after page and let the bitterness spill out. I also used to write down separately as many positive things I aimed to do with my future life. Then depending upon what mood I was in I would pick up one of the pads and read it through. Bit by bit even the nasty bits tended to ease and I was able to deal with things rather than wallow in self pity. Just a few ideas for you to consider. Good luck and keep your chin up.
This user liked this post: NewClaret

Paul Waine
Posts: 9845
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2016 2:28 pm
Been Liked: 2344 times
Has Liked: 3164 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Paul Waine » Sat Dec 25, 2021 12:08 am

BurnleyMickSouth wrote:
Fri Dec 24, 2021 10:23 pm
To Paul Waine...& Bin on Turf, thanks for your suggestion Paul, i have had a look at the link and might see about giving it a go, but i had to laugh when you said you were out injured how the hell did you do that with Walking Football... :lol:

reply to BOT, i will be on here sometime tomorrow but cant give a time sorry, and to both of you MERRY CHRISTMAS, and up the Clarets, WHEN we get to play a match. :roll:
Hi Mick, I'd not played any football for more than 5 years. I suffered a heart attack while playing 5-a-side, then a few more health "ups and downs." I kept active walking, cycling and rowing machine. I learnt about walking football just before first lockdown then joined up when the country started easing up June this year. The one thing I'd not been doing was kicking a ball and this seemed to stress my achilles tendon. I thought I could "play through it," but we all forget that our bodies are now older. I booked physiotherapy sessions and learnt that my right calf has lost muscle and this is stressing my achilles tendon.

However, the walking football is great fun. There's a set way of walking, three touch max, no overhead and no tackling - there can be the occasional bump. Group I'm with range in age from over 55 to 75+, I'm 68. Mostly male and one female, most weeks, who's a neat footballer. Warm up - to get the heart rate up - and stretching is important. Goalie can occasional end up with a sore hand, guy this week might have picked up a broken finger.

Have a great Christmas.

UTC
Last edited by Paul Waine on Sat Dec 25, 2021 12:09 am, edited 1 time in total.
This user liked this post: NewClaret

Juan Tanamera
Posts: 2142
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 11:31 am
Been Liked: 762 times
Has Liked: 10011 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Juan Tanamera » Sat Dec 25, 2021 12:09 am

Good luck to you Mick.
I lost my wife in different circumstances to you, after over 40 years together (39 years married) my lovely lady sadly passed away in June this year.
This will be my first Christmas without her and I have felt the pain of grief today but I know she would be giving me a right ear bashing if I were to be a miserable bugger with my brilliant family today, of all days.
So whatever life has thrown at you, try to be happy.
We can all do this together.
UTC and merry Christmas to you all.
These 2 users liked this post: NewClaret beddie

NewClaret
Posts: 13225
Joined: Tue Dec 31, 2019 9:51 am
Been Liked: 3037 times
Has Liked: 3759 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by NewClaret » Sat Dec 25, 2021 12:26 am

Merry Christmas Mick.

I recall your post last year and have often wondered how you were getting on. Glad to hear that you’ve got a flat sorted and seem to be getting back on your feet, but of course sad to hear you’re still struggling to come to terms with your loss.

There’s been some great advice from fellow Clarets on this thread, from moving back home to writing things down. Whatever you choose, I hope that you spend 2022 further rebuilding your life and next years message is that you’ve managed to forward if not completely move on. All the best & UTC.

WalkdenClaret
Posts: 74
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 11:01 pm
Been Liked: 23 times
Has Liked: 21 times
Location: Walkden

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by WalkdenClaret » Sat Dec 25, 2021 12:55 am

All the best to you Mick, be determined, make some plans, get active, the walking footie, London Clarets etc. You're obviously a confident, balanced chap, getting on the dating sites helps renew your self belief. I'm only 30 miles from Burnley, but lost touch with old friends, try Facebook, yes, it's vacuous, but it does help in rebuilding old relationships and that self-worth.
perhaps an UTC singles blokes meet up would be good, easy way to connect to new friends.

Juan, really sorry to hear of your loss, hope you have a good Christmas, although I've no doubt that you have a lovely family around you and fantastice memories.

Have a fab Claret Christmas all, fingers crossed we will get to enjoy a match soon.

jos
Posts: 1407
Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2021 12:02 pm
Been Liked: 227 times
Has Liked: 294 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by jos » Sat Dec 25, 2021 12:20 pm

Best of luck Mick, good times will return.
This user liked this post: DCWat

Jamesy
Posts: 2533
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2016 9:53 pm
Been Liked: 780 times
Has Liked: 518 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by Jamesy » Sat Dec 25, 2021 12:56 pm

Hi Mick, I hope you are feeling quite positive today after some of the encouraging messages of support. I too have had sad lonely times in the past, perhaps not as stressful as your situation however I came through the other side and I am sure you will too.
Keep yer chin up fellow claret and remember it’s good to talk and share problems. You have got many friends, well dozens of em on here anyway. All the best for the future pal.

BurnleyMickSouth
Posts: 317
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 1:43 pm
Been Liked: 281 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by BurnleyMickSouth » Sat Dec 25, 2021 6:38 pm

First of all, let me say thanks to all on here that made comments regarding my OP, today has been a very good day, iv thought positive things and it worked to a degree, i got up at 11-00am .....late nite watching tv, :lol: then shower, dressed, and went for a drive over to Chobham common, was greeted by several people saying Merry Christmas, if only they knew how i felt, good but not great, stayed there walking around for almost 3hrs then came home at 4-30pm, then made my Christmas dinner of, Lamb Shank, mint sauce, 4 roast potatoes, 2 yarkshire puds, fresh veg, broccoli, carrots, n cauliflower, boy was that meal good, 10 out of 10 for the cook, oh hang on :D so that eaten, washed up n done for the night, telly n vids to watch, then footy tomorrow on Sky, so thanks everyone for a good day, instead of being in the dumps, HAPPY CHRISTMAS, to all my friends on here.
These 9 users liked this post: NewClaret bfcjg DAVETHEVICAR Greenmile spadesclaret jos Rowls longsidepies Jamesy

NewClaret
Posts: 13225
Joined: Tue Dec 31, 2019 9:51 am
Been Liked: 3037 times
Has Liked: 3759 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by NewClaret » Sat Dec 25, 2021 6:42 pm

Sounds like a great day mate, especially the lamb shank after a long walk!! 😋 Pleased for you 👍🏻

bfcjg
Posts: 13157
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2016 8:17 pm
Been Liked: 5004 times
Has Liked: 6722 times

Re: Lonely this Christmas.......

Post by bfcjg » Sat Dec 25, 2021 6:45 pm

Small steps forward Mick make 2022 YOUR year, do what you want. Best wishes.

Post Reply