Rules For Life
Re: Rules For Life
Just so we're all clear and in agreement and there's no pretence among us or anything, absolutely nobody is following a single one of these rules, right? I think it's actually central to the human condition to ignore sound advice.
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Re: Rules For Life
Never trust a man with egg on his face.
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Re: Rules For Life
Never trust a dog with orange eyebrows
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Re: Rules For Life
brilliant
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Re: Rules For Life
An ounce of backbone is worth a ton of wishbone.
(Younger readers Google 'imperial measurements'.)
(Younger readers Google 'imperial measurements'.)
Re: Rules For Life
Be kind to yourself.
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Re: Rules For Life
My grandmother once told me "Neither a lender or borrower be". I was about 6 at the time and didnt understand it - she explained it but at 6 that was still a lot to try to take in!
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Re: Rules For Life
If you and your team of vampire killers are hunting the undead, don't ask the one who has dyslexia to buy the stakes.
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Re: Rules For Life
The quote “Neither a borrower nor a lender be” is a quote from Shakespeare. In Act 1 Scene 3 of Hamlet, Polonius is giving advice to his son Laertes, who is about to travel to France for some time.Mayoclaret wrote: ↑Thu Mar 02, 2023 7:02 pmMy grandmother once told me "Neither a lender or borrower be". I was about 6 at the time and didnt understand it - she explained it but at 6 that was still a lot to try to take in!
Regarding advice from my father, he said to me when I was about eighteen “When you start serious courting with a lass or even decide to get married, always choose a girl with small hands......it will make your dick look bigger”. Genuine words of wisdom.
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Re: Rules For Life
That was my driving instructor's favourite saying.Clarets4me wrote: ↑Thu Mar 02, 2023 7:30 amTreat people how you'd like to be treated yourself
Motorways are just a very fast one way street, look a mile ahead, not 200 yards ahead
Assume everyone else on the road is a complete f*****g idiot !
Never bet with money you can't afford to lose
Always leave the Countryside or a Beach without any evidence that you've been there
Never trust the French
Getting married is like choosing the same Breakfast cereal for the rest of your life, don't do it if you still want to choose from a " variety pack " !
There are good and bad people of every race, colour and creed
Try not to bet on a " Handicap " race, they're all supposed to finish in a " Dead Heat "
Re: Rules For Life
no matter how nice smelling the soap in the bathroom is, never come out into public from a bathroom smelling your hands.
My mother said, you'll have to kiss a lot of toads before you meet your prince
Hubby's father said, marry a girl with small hands, my mother in law had tiny hands !
My mother said, you'll have to kiss a lot of toads before you meet your prince
Hubby's father said, marry a girl with small hands, my mother in law had tiny hands !
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Re: Rules For Life
If it’s got breasts or you put petrol in it, it will cost you a fortune.
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Re: Rules For Life
Work to live, not live to work.
It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
Re: Rules For Life
If you meet a girl on a night out and she looks the same in the morning - marry her.
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Re: Rules For Life
Marriage - expectation without communication
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Re: Rules For Life
“Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”
Dean Vernon Wormer.
Dean Vernon Wormer.
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Re: Rules For Life
Don't give importance to the opinions of people who you wouldn't take advice from.
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Re: Rules For Life
Don't stick your dick in crazy
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Re: Rules For Life
Getting married will stop you from doing all the things you want to do in life.
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Re: Rules For Life
TheFamilyCat wrote: ↑Thu Mar 02, 2023 7:32 pmThat was my driving instructor's favourite saying. /quote]
Number 2, ( Motorways ) or Number 3 ( Idiots ) ??
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Re: Rules For Life
" They took the Bar ! The whole f*****g Bar !! "Lord Beamish wrote: ↑Fri Mar 03, 2023 10:24 am“Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.” - Dean Vernon Wormer.
I wonder if that film is as funny now I'm in my 60th year, as it was when I was 20 ??
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Re: Rules For Life
If at first you don't succeed, say '**** it' and go have a beer.
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Re: Rules For Life
“Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbour?”Clarets4me wrote: ↑Fri Mar 03, 2023 2:16 pm" They took the Bar ! The whole f*****g Bar !! "
I wonder if that film is as funny now I'm in my 60th year, as it was when I was 20 ??
That’s a funny line no matter how old you are.
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Re: Rules For Life
" Just blanks, right ? "Lord Beamish wrote: ↑Fri Mar 03, 2023 5:14 pm“Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbour?”
That’s a funny line no matter how old you are.
" We're looking for a girl with a morally casual attitude .... "
" It's not a question of whether we took a few liberties with our female guests, we did ! ( wink ) "
How come I remember these lines, and not where I was last Friday, without resorting to my diary ?
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Re: Rules For Life
Don’t go out int rain if yer clogs leak.
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Re: Rules For Life
never play near steam rollers.
Re: Rules For Life
Fattypuffs and thinifers?
Much better advice than the Shakespeare quote above.
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Re: Rules For Life
Being offended by something is subjective and just a personal feeling.
So the rule is, ignore the sandal wearers.
So the rule is, ignore the sandal wearers.
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Re: Rules For Life
Why make a rule that you can't follow yourself?Bin Ont Turf wrote: ↑Fri Mar 03, 2023 9:50 pmBeing offended by something is subjective and just a personal feeling.
So the rule is, ignore the sandal wearers.
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Re: Rules For Life
I don't know what you're talking about.
Unless you're doing that modern day childish thing, where by because I mentioned something I must be obsessed with it.
Grow up Cat.
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Re: Rules For Life
Is this what you mean by ignoring them?
Bin Ont Turf wrote: ↑Fri Sep 02, 2022 7:01 pmLike with anything sandal wearing in this country, they have a point but they take it too far and make normal folk hate them.
Bin Ont Turf wrote: ↑Fri Jul 08, 2022 8:58 pmThe same reason they don't put England U19's women on TV.
The BBC is sandal wearing pathetic, but not for pushing the England team in the Women's European Championships in England.
Bin Ont Turf wrote: ↑Mon Apr 11, 2022 10:57 pmAbsolutely rammed with acid tongued nasty sandal wearers is this country these days.
Unforgiving zealots who want blood.
Bin Ont Turf wrote: ↑Wed Jun 09, 2021 8:31 pmThe nastiness and hate hold no bounds for these sad snivelling sandal wearing woke lunatics.
Bin Ont Turf wrote: ↑Sat Jun 22, 2019 11:51 pmCulturally, religiously and sexually absolute dodge pots.
I see that the sandal wearing illuminati on here are already throwing their milkshakes.
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Re: Rules For Life
I wear sandals and I refuse to be pigeon-holed.
Re: Rules For Life
Wow, why would anyone search the archives for "Sandal wearer" to prove a point on what was a lighthearted comment on a lighthearted thread? I take it you wear sandals?
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Re: Rules For Life
Live and let live.
Re: Rules For Life
Is this a line from a film?Lord Beamish wrote: ↑Fri Mar 03, 2023 5:14 pm“Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbour?”
That’s a funny line no matter how old you are.
Because it was the Japanese that bombed Pearl Harbour, or am I missing the joke?
Re: Rules For Life
Never eat yellow snow.
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Re: Rules For Life
This one irritates me. Sorry. It just simply isn’t true.
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Re: Rules For Life
The way I’ve always understood it is that if you have a difficult, unpleasant , sad or otherwise unwanted experience, and you come through it - you will be better prepared mentally and physically, to deal with something else challenging in the future,
Has always worked for me.
Re: Rules For Life
Nor the GarnoldswickBilly Balfour wrote: ↑Thu Mar 02, 2023 7:16 pmIf you and your team of vampire killers are hunting the undead, don't ask the one who has dyslexia to buy the stakes.
Re: Rules For Life
Perhaps he just hates sandals
Re: Rules For Life
Winston Churchill.
'If you're going through Hell...keep going.'
'If you're going through Hell...keep going.'
Re: Rules For Life
never trust anyone who doesnt drink
Re: Rules For Life
Never sh-t on your own doorstep
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Re: Rules For Life
It’s a strange one bud but I understand the sentiment behind it, I just can’t see how, if you have for instance a car accident that doesn’t kill you but you wind up severely disabled with brain damage how that can possibly make you stronger. A friend of mine had a stroke and he survived but he now needs 24 hour care.Middle-agedClaret wrote: ↑Tue Mar 07, 2023 10:09 amThe way I’ve always understood it is that if you have a difficult, unpleasant , sad or otherwise unwanted experience, and you come through it - you will be better prepared mentally and physically, to deal with something else challenging in the future,
Has always worked for me.
Apologies for being a bit pedantic but it just seems like one of those phrases that looks good until you look at the detail, then it all kinda falls apart.
Re: Rules For Life
Never put your fingers where you wouldn't put your dick!
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Re: Rules For Life
This video is one of my favourites.... and provides great rules for life https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoEezZD71sc&t=717s