One UTC thread that you remember?

RVclaret · Post by **RVclaret** » Fri Apr 07, 2023 6:37 am

One that is jumping at me on today of all days from earlier this season was titled ‘We’re not good enough to go up’

JohnMcGreal · Post by **JohnMcGreal** » Fri Apr 07, 2023 6:40 am

BigDave48 offering out various posters who he thought might be giving him dodgy calls on his phone.

fidelcastro · Post by **fidelcastro** » Fri Apr 07, 2023 6:43 am

I remember a thread where people were following the flight path of a player we were planning to sign. Grosicki? (Who subsequently didn't!)

It was best remembered for Ringo having a breakdown, if I recall

timshorts · Post by **timshorts** » Fri Apr 07, 2023 7:05 am

Pickles wrote: ↑
Thu Apr 06, 2023 9:59 pm

Any post/thread by Psotto too for different reasons but can't say they were ever dull!

Pstotto still posts stuff on YouTube. There is a three parter on there which is a bit disturbing where he has filmed some social services type interveners who have turned up to section him. He keeps strangely calm until they decide to use the warrant to assault him.

The woman that didn't seem able to start more than three sentences without saying "we have concerns" was herself concerning. She'd never met him, but what would you do if somebody turned up at your house with some police heavies? It all felt very "and then they came for me".

Anyway, I presume that they didn't keep him in for long as he's back posting again - but just not on here.

A classic comment near the end as Pstotto concludes that as one of them claims not to know what match of the day was, that they were more in need of help than he was.

evensteadiereddie · Post by **evensteadiereddie** » Fri Apr 07, 2023 7:33 am

Some of them were right though.

TheFamilyCat · Post by **TheFamilyCat** » Fri Apr 07, 2023 7:39 am

TravisBickle wrote: ↑
Thu Apr 06, 2023 10:51 pm
The Covid thread. When everything was unfolding. And it quickly accelerated. Players testing positive (arteta and hudson adoi) were the ones I remember if I’m right. And seemed to be so surreal. Shame the thread disappeared. Moment in history.

Was that the one when JakubClaret tried to argue that touring DIY shops in East Lancashire to buy paint for his fence was "essential travel"?

Swizzlestick · Post by **Swizzlestick** » Fri Apr 07, 2023 8:00 am

RVclaret wrote: ↑
Fri Apr 07, 2023 6:37 am
One that is jumping at me on today of all days from earlier this season was titled ‘We’re not good enough to go up’

If that was the one by ArthurShelby, he also proclaimed we’d be in a relegation battle if we carried on playing the same way.

Swizzlestick · Post by **Swizzlestick** » Fri Apr 07, 2023 8:01 am

TheFamilyCat wrote: ↑
Fri Apr 07, 2023 7:39 am
Was that the one when JakubClaret tried to argue that touring DIY shops in East Lancashire to buy paint for his fence was "essential travel"?

If you told me he was an early ChatGPT prototype, I would believe you.

Steve1956 · Post by **Steve1956** » Fri Apr 07, 2023 4:49 pm

fidelcastro wrote: ↑
Fri Apr 07, 2023 1:04 am
That was Frank who turned up, wasn't it?

What's Frank's username now?

Slowwalker · Post by **Slowwalker** » Fri Apr 07, 2023 6:09 pm

May not count but many many years ago on the old msn messenger board was Kelvin’s report of the trip to Watford (?)
A few of the group flew down and the match was called off. Claret Tony will remember this. And might have it archived somewhere….

fidelcastro · Post by **fidelcastro** » Fri Apr 07, 2023 6:27 pm

Steve1956 wrote: ↑
Fri Apr 07, 2023 4:49 pm
What's Frank's username now?

It was Hi there, but that may have changed again.

IanMcL · Post by **IanMcL** » Fri Apr 07, 2023 6:48 pm

steve_f wrote: ↑
Thu Apr 06, 2023 11:16 pm
Custard world, those were the days, we even had custard world T shirts, my wife wore mine to the play off final v The blades. Seem to remember having a Coyles army T shirt too, although it may be a Judas shirt now

Still got mine!

Alanstevensonsgloves · Post by **Alanstevensonsgloves** » Fri Apr 07, 2023 7:08 pm

JohnMcGreal wrote: ↑
Fri Apr 07, 2023 6:32 am
Pretty sure it was razo.

100% definitely

Cleveleys_claret · Post by **Cleveleys_claret** » Fri Apr 07, 2023 7:11 pm

claptrappers_union wrote: ↑
Thu Apr 06, 2023 11:14 pm
GodisaDJ’s detailed escapades in grubby swingers clubs was certainly an education.

There was also a thread where a poster in the ClaretsMad days I think, where a poster described taking some bird he met in a nightclub to the Keirby Hotel and ‘scuttling’ her while the night manager listened in.

One of the responses were, “have you considered writing romantic novels?’

I genuinely lol’ed

Thinking that was one I started during covid regards Kyle Walker and his hosting of sex parties

Big Vinny K · Post by **Big Vinny K** » Fri Apr 07, 2023 7:20 pm

Cleveleys_claret wrote: ↑
Fri Apr 07, 2023 7:11 pm
Thinking that was one I started during covid regards Kyle Walker and his hosting of sex parties

https://www.uptheclarets.com/messageboa ... =2&t=23497

This is the Kierby one.
Unlike yours this started as a fairly innocent thread !!!

Clarets4me · Post by **Clarets4me** » Fri Apr 07, 2023 9:32 pm

When Bradley Dack appeared in Court for ignoring repeated motoring offenses and summons's, the thread was entitled " Dick Dack in Dock " ....

longsidetrumpet · Post by **longsidetrumpet** » Fri Apr 07, 2023 11:04 pm

Sycamore Farm/baseball cap had me weeping with laughter. Barley is full another recurring rib-tickler

Here's-Johnny · Post by **Here's-Johnny** » Sat Apr 08, 2023 1:46 am

The Old guy that murdered the Gypsy Burglar. 2019 ( seems Longer) The shockingly vile argument between two posters regards the case.. was disgusting in its entirety. proper venom. And one of em was a schoolteacher...the other a swinger by all accounts.

Bin Ont Turf · Post by **Bin Ont Turf** » Sat Apr 08, 2023 12:42 pm

Transfer window flight tracker thread.

I think it was WatsonsClaret who said he saw the plane through his window.

Rolling about!

Steve1956 · Post by **Steve1956** » Sun Apr 09, 2023 8:25 am

fidelcastro wrote: ↑
Fri Apr 07, 2023 6:27 pm
It was Hi there, but that may have changed again.

Travis Bickle now.

fidelcastro · Post by **fidelcastro** » Sun Apr 09, 2023 5:29 pm

Steve1956 wrote: ↑
Sun Apr 09, 2023 8:25 am
Travis Bickle now.

You talkin' to me?

SammyBoy · Post by **SammyBoy** » Sun Apr 09, 2023 5:47 pm

I think Muchacho dying on the hill that he’d have prime Ronaldo in his pocket and beat him over 50 yards in a foot race was one of the best pieces of internet I’ve ever bore witness to, pretty sure it descended into him offering people out after a few pages of ribbing which was the cherry on the cake

Wasn’t aware of the poster turning up at someone’s house to watch a game or the fictional PlayStation night at the Woodman but they sound like classics as well.

Darthlaw · Post by **Darthlaw** » Sun Apr 09, 2023 5:58 pm

Ronaldo v Muchacho
The thread that got Marlonspants banned where he made somthing up and got loads of fans into a froth over it.
The 6-7 Tw@t's / coterie thread.

All CM classics.

paulatky · Post by **paulatky** » Sun Apr 09, 2023 6:26 pm

Anything from claretpunter
All of them were classics

CoolClaret · Post by **CoolClaret** » Sun Apr 09, 2023 6:37 pm

Swizzlestick wrote: ↑
Fri Apr 07, 2023 8:01 am
If you told me he was an early ChatGPT prototype, I would believe you.

Jacob Rees Dogg · Post by **Jacob Rees Dogg** » Sun Apr 09, 2023 7:03 pm

Princess Hales was an emotional rollercoaster.

5k watch was a laugh.

TsarBomba · Post by **TsarBomba** » Sun Apr 09, 2023 7:03 pm

Claret Till I Die wrote: ↑
Thu Apr 06, 2023 9:48 pm
Princess Hales on Clarets Mad will never be beaten

Was that the thread where they both split up live on CM?

Phenomenal.

distortiondave · Post by **distortiondave** » Sun Apr 09, 2023 7:12 pm

Razo and PrincessHales was great entertainment.

I won a knitted jumper from 1959/60, I think it was. I can't really remember what for now. Winning the food count maybe?

benstone12 · Post by **benstone12** » Sun Apr 09, 2023 7:33 pm

Christian Ziege?

Steve1956 · Post by **Steve1956** » Sun Apr 09, 2023 7:59 pm

fidelcastro wrote: ↑
Sun Apr 09, 2023 5:29 pm
You talkin' to me?

Steve1956 · Post by **Steve1956** » Sun Apr 09, 2023 8:03 pm

Are the Claretsmad threads lost for ever or is there an archive?

Claret Till I Die · Post by **Claret Till I Die** » Sun Apr 09, 2023 8:39 pm

TsarBomba wrote: ↑
Sun Apr 09, 2023 7:03 pm
Was that the thread where they both split up live on CM?

Phenomenal.

It was. Best thread I've ever read

dougcollins · Post by **dougcollins** » Sun Apr 09, 2023 8:51 pm

Dressinggown’s parochial military invasion threads were always good value.

wilks_bfc · Post by **wilks_bfc** » Sun Apr 09, 2023 11:09 pm

The PrincessHales one was brilliant

If I recall most of the post happened during the night, so I was starting work reading the latest updates

Devils_Advocate · Post by **Devils_Advocate** » Sun Apr 09, 2023 11:17 pm

Not a classic thread in itself but definitely a classic exchange on the innocent subject of hiking boots

https://www.uptheclarets.com/messageboa ... land+boots

Billy Balfour wrote: ↑
Sat Jan 09, 2021 10:10 am
I'm after a new pair of hiking boots now that my old pair have finally given up the ghost. I don't want to spend a fortune because I use hiking shoes for around 8 months of the year, so I'm looking at under the £150 mark for Gore-Tex lined? Cheers in advance.

Jakubclaret wrote: ↑
Sat Jan 09, 2021 10:15 am
I wear German para MK2 I got sick of rolling my ankle with anything else, there might not have the goretex certification but I’ve worn them in all occasions & there repel water my socks are completely dry.

TheFamilyCat wrote: ↑
Sat Jan 09, 2021 11:17 am
I suspect the OP is after something for rambling in, not annexing Poland.

Bee_Hole_End_UTC · Post by **Bee_Hole_End_UTC** » Sun Apr 09, 2023 11:17 pm

That Hurstwood guy who used to predict the table with his 'algorithms'

distortiondave · Post by **distortiondave** » Sun Apr 09, 2023 11:31 pm

I remember someone asking how to post pictures, being told, then a different poster put up a picture of Mr Miyagi from Karate Kid completely without context and Socrates (the poster) laughing his arse off about it.

There were more than a few posts that were comedy gold that absolutely would not be allowed today, and claretsmad was tame compared to Carlisle or Aberdeen. I think every censored word on claretsmad just replaced the word with 4 stars instead of the number of letters in the word, so every swear word could have been one of several very common four letter swear words, but caused a lot of confusion when talking about Scunthorpe, Lightwater Valley or mishit shots.

TravisBickle · Post by **TravisBickle** » Sun Apr 09, 2023 11:38 pm

SammyBoy wrote: ↑
Sun Apr 09, 2023 5:47 pm
I think Muchacho dying on the hill that he’d have prime Ronaldo in his pocket and beat him over 50 yards in a foot race was one of the best pieces of internet I’ve ever bore witness to, pretty sure it descended into him offering people out after a few pages of ribbing which was the cherry on the cake

Wasn’t aware of the poster turning up at someone’s house to watch a game or the fictional PlayStation night at the Woodman but they sound like classics as well.

They were also muchacho.

Steve1956 · Post by **Steve1956** » Mon Apr 10, 2023 12:00 am

TravisBickle wrote: ↑
Sun Apr 09, 2023 11:38 pm
They were also muchacho.

Basically you.

Hurstwood_Claret · Post by **Hurstwood_Claret** » Mon Apr 10, 2023 8:44 am

Bee_Hole_End_UTC wrote: ↑
Sun Apr 09, 2023 11:17 pm
That Hurstwood guy who used to predict the table with his 'algorithms'

Big Vinny K · Post by **Big Vinny K** » Mon Apr 10, 2023 8:55 am

Devils_Advocate wrote: ↑
Sun Apr 09, 2023 11:17 pm
Not a classic thread in itself but definitely a classic exchange on the innocent subject of hiking boots

https://www.uptheclarets.com/messageboa ... land+boots

That just made my day - very funny

Claretforever · Post by **Claretforever** » Mon Apr 10, 2023 8:55 am

The one where someone claimed to have seen some bloke randomly wandering about near Burnham Gate screaming. The replies were hilarious.

AlargeClaret · Post by **AlargeClaret** » Mon Apr 10, 2023 9:00 am

I must take a small bow for my long ago Keirby adventures I’d no idea such a grubby drunken escapade would inspire such mirth .
UTC

claretonthecoast1882 · Post by **claretonthecoast1882** » Tue Apr 11, 2023 2:19 pm

One that comes to mind was a poster (saving his blushes by not naming him) was making weird predictions through covid, then logged in with a different username to like his own posts and reply to the posts in agreement. He then posted using the wrong username and exposed himself only to then claim it was his mrs and not him.

Nori1958 · Post by **Nori1958** » Tue Apr 11, 2023 2:51 pm

claretonthecoast1882 wrote: ↑
Tue Apr 11, 2023 2:19 pm
One that comes to mind was a poster (saving his blushes by not naming him) was making weird predictions through covid, then logged in with a different username to like his own posts and reply to the posts in agreement. He then posted using the wrong username and exposed himself only to then claim it was his mrs and not him.

Good old paul

ŽižkovClaret · Post by **ŽižkovClaret** » Tue Apr 11, 2023 3:36 pm

bodge wrote: ↑
Thu Apr 06, 2023 9:49 pm
Is a sell out the same as a full house ?

I'm not sure we got a definitive answer to that one.

We could on the 25th if that lot sold out the home ends

claretonthecoast1882 · Post by **claretonthecoast1882** » Wed Apr 12, 2023 8:36 am

Nori1958 wrote: ↑
Tue Apr 11, 2023 2:51 pm
Good old paul

no comment