Worst hotel you have ever stayed?

[BennyD]

Vegasclarets mums house

No way. There was a Goblin teasmaid when I stayed there.

[Volvoclaret]

The Goblin teasmade WAS his mum.
Sorry Vegas, just joking

[ayrshireclaret83]

The Oaks, Burnley this year absolute shocker

[Les Lawrence]

Norbreck Castle Blackpool, horrible.

[bfcjg]

Stayed in a B&B in Blackpool once, short notice for an illumination treat for the children, open terminal box actually above electric shower and we were told just to be careful and not touch it, breakfast crap room just about passable,we left that morning.

[Middle-agedClaret]

Travel Lodge, Worcester. Now, I went to a cheap and cheerful boarding school,so I’m used to roughing it, but this was the basic side of basic.

[SingaporeClarets]

Got bumped off an air France flight in Point Noire and they drove a group of us to a hotel that had the fumigators in

Also managed to get booked into a hotel in Miri without any kind of window.

However, hotels can be changed... When you are working offshore then that is when you are literally stuck with it. For me then it would have to be a toss up between a tug boat in Qatar where I slept on the back deck because the accomodation was infested with cockroaches or an accomodation barge off Bintulu that had a toilet/shower facility for 200 that basically saw the urinal piping leaking onto the floor, so you may have well just peed on the floor and the water run off from all the showers swashing back and forth because there was no proper drainage for each shower.

[Claret86]

Stayed in a hotel in benidorm for a stag do that was that bad it was on a channel 5 documentary!
The lift jammed between 2 floors and it took over an hour to get our party out.
The windows were paper thin so you got woke up at 10am when the music started.
The pool was full of chicken bones.
The rooms were worse than strangeways and stunk.
It was that bad it's now funny

[JoeAM89]

Hendham House, Manchester

The absolute pits.

[Flying Without Ings]

Stayed in a hotel in benidorm for a stag do that was that bad it was on a channel 5 documentary!
The lift jammed between 2 floors and it took over an hour to get our party out.
The windows were paper thin so you got woke up at 10am when the music started.
The pool was full of chicken bones.
The rooms were worse than strangeways and stunk.
It was that bad it's now funny

Could be the same hotel I stayed in when I went for a lads holiday over there, although it could be any number of hotels. Great laugh though and you know what you’re getting.

[Tribesmen]

Now i did convince the wife to travel to Afganistan in 93 , we we stayed 3 nights in Jalalabad the hotel room ( if you could call it that ) had no windows a broken Russian fridge and shrapnel holes all over the walls and door .
It was an interesting spot , ohhh and we are still married .

[jedi_master]

Stayed in a hotel in Liverpool with 4 mates about 5 years ago, cannot remember it's name, but the room we were put in was in the basement. The corridor was a building site and ours was the only 'room' that was housing guests, the rest being under construction. It had no windows (genuinely felt like a nuclear bunker and was about 30 degrees) and the beds were less than 2 inches apart, the shower was (I am not joking) essentially inside of a wardrobe in the same room as the beds. The toilet was thankfully in it's own room. Couldn't believe it when we walked in - we dumped our stuff and agreed that we were just going to stay out all night to not have to stay in it. Essentially treated the room as a safe.

[ŽižkovClaret]

Stayed in a hotel in Liverpool with 4 mates about 5 years ago, cannot remember it's name, but the room we were put in was in the basement. The corridor was a building site and ours was the only 'room' that was housing guests, the rest being under construction. It had no windows (genuinely felt like a nuclear bunker and was about 30 degrees) and the beds were less than 2 inches apart, the shower was (I am not joking) essentially inside of a wardrobe in the same room as the beds. The toilet was thankfully in it's own room. Couldn't believe it when we walked in - we dumped our stuff and agreed that we were just going to stay out all night to not have to stay in it. Essentially treated the room as a safe.

The Adelphi seems to be the notoriously bad Liverpool Hotel according to several scousers.

[Claret86]

Could be the same hotel I stayed in when I went for a lads holiday over there, although it could be any number of hotels. Great laugh though and you know what you’re getting.

Agree with you there, it fed into the 'lads trip' mentality we had. My only gripe was the windows being paper thin. We were coming in at 5am and you were up no matter what at 10am

[Dressinggown]

I've stayed in some right dives and hovels over the years.

However:

In the late 90's (I think) a few of us stayed in Blackpool after a Burnley game. We did a B&B. The cost for a night was £14 which should have raised some alarm bells from the outset.

A dozen of us were split between 3 'family rooms'. Each contained 3 single beds. We quickly dumped our stuff, erased thoughts of our accommodation and went on the lash. Unable to get into most pubs due to being a mostly group of blokes. Some headed for some pricey nightclubs whilst we played 'Time Crisis ' in Coral Island.

One of our party came out of a club on his own and jumped in a cab. The minimum cost was £6 and the taxi only needed to reverse 80 yards to the door of the B&B.

Once inside the room I just did the usual fall into bed. Little did I know that there were no slats underneath and the mattress bore no springs. Despite the injuries to my lumbar region I still found time to laugh at my mate who had decided to put on the shower cap from the 'bathroom'. A heady mixture of hair, skin and an unidentified liquid poured down his face.

In the morning the lady serving our breakfast fell on our tables so we had to do a buffet from the floor.

A decision was made to do the 'Big One' at the Pleasure Beach. On the way our designated driver spotted a large group of 'Suited & Booted' lads on a stag do walking down the Prom with a huge puddle of water next to them on the kerb. You will guess the outcome but the traffic came to a holt about 50 yards further on as a large group descended on our vehicle and rendered it 'shafted'.

[basil6345789]

Keirby

[Jamesy]

No honourable mentions for The Kierby, or did I miss it?

The Kierby was grim near the end. My ex wife and I attended a Northern Soul do there in the late 80’s and thought it would be convenient to stay the night there. I bet there were better hotels in Beirut around that time.

[Quickenthetempo]

Travelodge in Leeds, was, despite having 2 fans on with the window open, unbearably hot.
So much so we contemplated sleeping on a bench at the train station.

A group of us went to Blackpool in some holiday flats on the front ( fleetwood end ). The beds were falling out of cupboards and all sorts.

[LongSider75]

I stayed in the Artemission hotel in Athens when we played Olympiacos. I had to share the communal showers with ladies of the night. If you think that is a good thing then speak to the heavies who where looking after tbem. Wow, bit wierd

[Claret Toni]

Now i did convince the wife to travel to Afganistan in 93 , we we stayed 3 nights in Jalalabad the hotel room ( if you could call it that ) had no windows a broken Russian fridge and shrapnel holes all over the walls and door .
It was an interesting spot , ohhh and we are still married .

So I take it you've not been back.

[MancunianClaret]

Stone House hotel in Blackpool. Wasn't my choice, someone at work booked it. Absolute dive. Dead pigeons outside my window.

[enduroclaret]

A total dump in Galveston Texas, after an epic struggle outside of town changing the inner tube on the front wheel of my motorcycle, in baking heat. Then a tropical storm, with lashing rain hit as I arrived in town.
All the hotels were full….I ended up in some dive down the backstreets that rented rooms for the night.
The room was full of cockroaches, it was filthy….It was like being victim no.1 in a B horror movie.
I didn’t dare lift the bed sheets and slept in my motorcycle gear….including my helmet!
I may have snatched a couple of hours sleep….but I was glad to see daylight