Grandparents looking after grandkids

[alf_resco]

Who does it? How often? Is it taken for granted? Should your offspring expect you in retirement to look after multiple grandkids?
Genuinely interested how the old uns on this board view this.

[Lip]

I do it..
I find it a great enjoyment and I treasure my time with them.

[Colburn_Claret]

We look after ours quite often. We love it.

[nil_desperandum]

Ditto

[bfcjg]

We don't do ours on a regular basis as we both work but I'm self employed so can be flexible, my children wouldn't expect us to give up all our free time to look after them however we would as it's so hard for young families today with house prices and mortgage rates. When we have ours they are a joy, I genuinely cherish every second with them even the nappy changing if I cannot get out of it. What you put into your grandchildren you get back tenfold.

[Bosscat]

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[gandhisflipflop]

Speaking as a grandson raised by my grandparents I have the upmost respect for older people and grandparents are a great gift of life to younger kids if they are lucky enough to have them.

[Lancasterclaret]

It was bad enough with child care costs when mine were very little

Without grandparent help it would have been impossible, and its even worse now

Not everyone is lucky enough to have grandparents who can help, and not everyone is lucky enough to have grandparents full stop

[GodIsADeeJay81]

Grandson, who's 4mths old, stays every Sunday night
Granddaughter, who is 2 at the end of the month, is staying tomorrow night.
She doesn't stay over that often.

Their dad stresses about his kids staying away from home, gets quite anxious about it for some reason.
I pointed out that he should take advantage of it whilst grandparents are offering to do it, because it's good for everyone and gives his missus a much needed break when she has 2 kids under the age of two.

When my own daughter was born, she was at her maternal grandparents every weekend pretty much for the first 6mths we loved it because it gave us a break and her grandparents loved it.
Their bond is great and our daughter (8) arranges her own sleepovers at Nanny's now and just tells us when it is.

This is from last weekend, he woke up around midnight so he was watching TV with me for a bit...

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[Bosscat]

Our Grandchildren now look after us ... Monday evening a case in point ... invited out to dinner in Leeds at "The Cut and Craft" to celebrate his graduation from Leeds Uni

[ClaretAndJew]

I was raised primarily by my grandma, a woman who lived through WWII and rationing. I'm 35 and essentially grew up as though I was in the 1960's. Interesting start in life. She pegged it when I was 13 then I looked after myself, latch-key kid style.

Looking after children is hard, I wouldn't want to do it.

[Jakubclaret]

It presents a second chance for some grandparents to parent as if it’s direct linage, the chance they could of been deprived of by earlier circumstances, working to make ends meet & not having the time to indulge or not valuing the importance of time, when you are young you are almost immortal & don’t think far enough ahead to anticipate later life.

[ALP]

I wish I could...................

Both of my Daughter live away and sadly my Wife can't travel now due to her health, we'd have loved to have seen more of our Grandchildren and to have looked after them,

[footballdiedin92]

A phrase I heard that I quite liked was
Raise your kids and spoil your grandkids because if you spoil your kids you'll be raising your grandkids.

[Tricky Trevor]

We retired to Ireland especially to watch 3 grand-daughters grow up. Ended up having them all 2 days a week and longer in school holidays but we loved it all and they have grown into 3 special people all at college or Uni now.

[MrEyres]

Hey ,
From the other side of the fence , special thank you to all grandparents who look after the grandkids to help.
We have a toddler and thanks to grandparent help both of us can work full time as well as pay the massive childcare cost nowadays. Eg 2days a week is over £600pcm in our local nursery for full hrs before government help approx £500pcm after.
Combined with the cost of living increases for housing , energy , shopping etc etc I honestly don’t know how we would cope without grandparent help at this stage. We are both relatively successful people income/career wise and debt free. We shouldn’t have to lean on grandparents at this stage but unfortunately it’s a sign of the times.
We never knew why 1 partner in a relationship usually downs tools in the child’s early years to provide care . However can now see why if full time are is needed. It really wouldn’t be worth working for some families. By no means a slant on the people who do stop but more a question of to why schooling is free but when a child is at their even more sponge like stages where professional learning and play are even more beneficial, families have to worry about money rather than concentrating on providing every single thing a young person needs without stress. A disgrace, and in all honesty a major part in why there are so many breakups in a child’s formative years. It’s heartbreaking and there must be a better way.
Thank u all again grandparents, from every parent for everything u do . We couldn’t do it without u.

[williamjblazkowicz]

I think it's less common than it used to be. I think people are, on average, having children later nowadays -- often well into their 30s as opposed to 20s. As a result, grandparents are generally older. I'm sure I was looked after by my grandparents a bit as a child. My wife certainly was looked after my her grandmother a fair bit.

We don't really get that support from our own parents and we know of plenty of others who have the same experience. For the record, we don't need the extra help anyway. But it's a contributing factor to us being "one and done".

[bobinho]

Brought up by grandparents. They were wonderful.

Only Daughter is now 30, no sign of grandkids and she’s adamant she won’t be having any. The thought of never having grandchildren leaves me feeling empty. I’m ready.

[Cirrus_Minor]

Who does it? How often? Is it taken for granted? Should your offspring expect you in retirement to look after multiple grandkids?
Genuinely interested how the old uns on this board view this.

I do it every week with Mrs CM. Alternate with the other grandparents for morning school run for 2 grandkids in Burnley and quite often spend days in Cheshire for another 2 grandkids. I love it and always feel blessed to be able to do it. It keeps us involved with them and cannot understand anyone who would complain.

[Dawlishclaret]

We absolutely loved doing it when they were younger, special times.

[Burnley1989]

Who does it? How often? Is it taken for granted? Should your offspring expect you in retirement to look after multiple grandkids?
Genuinely interested how the old uns on this board view this.

Well weird post, we have 3 sets of grandparents and they absolutely adore my children and have them as often as they can

[beddie]

We’re slightly older grandparents and look after the one year old one day a week, the two year old goes to nursery that day which helps. It’s hard work at times but so rewarding in other ways. We have an hour and a half drive every week to get there so your tired before you start

[basil6345789]

We do and don't expect a penny, unlike so many in society
who expect allowances, benefits and the like for "caring"

[Lancasterclaret]

We do and don't expect a penny, unlike so many in society
who expect allowances, benefits and the like for "caring"

No wonder the country is a bit messed up

Is there any need for that btw Baz?

[Turftalkers mentor]

I was offered three more years at work by my employers in a job I enjoyed when I was retiring .
My Grandaughter was 6 months old then . I said no to the offer and she's 11 now with a 7 year old brother .
We looked after them every day before school age and they are here every day before and after school now .
It allows our son and daughter in law to work building for their future .
We love it the grand kids love it , everybody wins .
Its fantastic

[Pearcey]

Well weird post, we have 3 sets of grandparents and they absolutely adore my children and have them as often as they can

It’s not a weird post at all. It depends on how often and for how long the grandparents are asked. Also it depends on how hold or mobile they are. I’m 50 with a 9 and 5 year old so our parents are much older. They love having the kids but we’ve become aware that it’s unfair for us to dump both of our kids on them without us being there. The grandparents absolutely adore all of the grandkids but it’s become increasingly difficult for them to cope.
They have asked to have our eldest for a week over summer holidays as he’s easier to look after. They also live 180 miles away.
You’re certainly very lucky.

[timscoot]

Ive got 4 young grandchildren between 1 and 4 .
We look after them in various combinations 5 days a week with the odd additional weekend shift
I retired a couple of years early from work to help my wife .
In my own work life i worked long hours so didnt have the time to spend with them in the early years .

Loving every minute of it . We are blessed living in Burnley which has fantastic parks to get them out in the fresh air .

[nil_desperandum]

I think it's less common than it used to be. I think people are, on average, having children later nowadays -- often well into their 30s as opposed to 20s. As a result, grandparents are generally older. I'm sure I was looked after by my grandparents a bit as a child. My wife certainly was looked after my her grandmother a fair bit.

Not sure I agree.
The main difference (IMO) is that, by and large, grandparents might be older today but they are way fitter, have higher expectations of life, and life expectancy is much higher.
I spent a lot of time with my grandmother in the 1960s. She was born in 1900, but was a "very old lady" by the time she was in her mid-sixties, having been a mill worker and lived through both World Wars.
I find it staggering that myself and my wife are now older than she was at this point.
She was really proud to reach the age of 70, as were many of her contemporaries.
My memories, though good, were that she wasn't very active and we were very limited in what we did. We were also much poorer financially.
By the time my sister came along in the mid-sixties I don't think my grandmother was really fit enough to help out too much.
Contrast that to today when most of the grandparents that I meet at the school gates are very fit and active people who lead very full lives and are able to interact fully in a range of activities with their grandchildren, play sport with them, take them on holiday etc.
It's a busy life but the grandchildren enrich our lives in so many ways - and I think, keep us younger and more active.

[Sozturf7]

We've looked after ours since they were born. It's a joy. It's hard sometimes, but it's always a joy.

[Vintage Claret]

We have just one grandson and cherish every minute we get to spend with him and are more than happy to look after him, ferry him around, whatever, whenever asked.

Had the privilege of taking him on his first ever Clarets game in 2019 when he was 7 and he's now a ST holder alongside me so it's a joy to be able to share that match day experience with him every home game he can attend.

As someone once said " if your children are the rainbow, your grandchildren are the pot of gold"

[Mondsley]

Our grand children live in Guildford so any time we spend with them is extra special. We get down to see them as much as we can and they will be here for a week in August so we are really looking forward to that. I feel immense pride watching our grandson at football training wearing his Burnley shirt amongst all the Chelsea, Spurs and Arsenal tops!

[Claretitus]

I’m 62, my partner is 57. We live in Preston, my granddaughter with her mum dad in Burnley. Whilst we still both work ( admittedly part time- 4 days each, with Fridays off ), we don’t provide child care on a regular basis. BUT, if they are going out on a weekend, or at a wedding overnight we are called upon and we really enjoy it. She is 18 months old, and to see her regularly is a joy to both of us. We have a cot and pram at our house, so she also stays here, as well as us staying in Burnley. We all go on holiday together to Tenerife in November, and we are also up for giving my daughter and son-in -law a night off, and a night out on their own. We really enjoy looking after her.

[Tricky Trevor]

Off topic.
I do think it is best for young children to be reared in family. Nothing against child minders and I appreciate that some have no option but Mrs T. took 6 years off work for our two and although money was tight we both agree it was the best decision. When she went back to work the youngest was split between myself, a shift worker, and my aunt who was just fantastic with children.

[aclaretinstevenage]

Brought up by grandparents. They were wonderful.

Only Daughter is now 30, no sign of grandkids and she’s adamant she won’t be having any. The thought of never having grandchildren leaves me feeling empty. I’m ready.

We have two Daughters ,both happily married neither of them want children so Grandchildren are not a thing for us. Their lives, their choice.

I'm happy that my girls are settled and wouldn't dream of pressuring them to become parents and I totally respect their stance, just sometimes a little pang crosses me and I wonder what it would be like - although being from a family of 8 I've seen my siblings going gaga over their Grandchildren and then it passes!

C'est la vie!

[Slowwalker]

I work part time now and look after my grandchildren 1.5 days a week. I drive an hour and a half to get there too. I’ve done it every week for a few years and will carry on doing it. Its hard work but I love it and know I’m appreciated. School pick ups, tea, bathtimes bedtimes, football practice, swimming lessons. I’ll be doing a bit more in the school holidays. This is not so their parents can have a social life. It’s just so they can work to pay bills. I’m so grateful I can spend this time with my grandchildren. It’s precious.

[Clarets4me]

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Mrs Clarets4me have our two year old Granddaughter every Monday, and have done ever since our daughter in law went back to work 4 days a week .. she goes to Nursery twice a week, Dad has her Thursdays and Mum Fridays. She's an absolute joy ...

[Jellybean]

This grandson and grandad is maybe glad of a break while she's locked up
https://twitter.com/JustStop_Oil/status ... 8_-rQ&s=19