Unhappy Claret who has Nobody

BurnleyMickSouth · Post by **BurnleyMickSouth** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:12 pm

Hi Clarets everywhere, well where do I start, as some of you will most probably remember a few years ago about 6 to be precise, my now ex wife destroyed my life with lies and false accusations to the police, not one word was true what she said I had done to her resulted in a NFA from the CPS, yet here I am and contemplate doing away with myself, iv had No relationship since she destroyed my life, we are now divorced, as that went through on the 1st of March this year, I am away from my nice flat at present, but my life is bad, no mum or dad, I'm retired but nobody to talk to or say I love you at night before going to bed, I am such a lonely man, no family, if I hear sad or love songs the tears come and I just want to end it, I live in Surrey now, I gave up everything to be with Tracey including my love of Burnley fc, I am so unhappy, I need somebody to love and talk to, but cannot get her out of my mind after all these years, I only want her, but I can't and that's the hurt inside of me, despite everything that she did to me, I still love my ex wife, if I could come home to Burnley then at least I could support the team iv watched for over 55 yrs, I'm so unhappy, I have no hobbies and interests, but I feel soon I will be calling it a day, thanks for reading this, advise is good but it's the inner feeling and it's destroying me inside, my love for Tracey won't die, so I have to do something about my life. I have no children myself, and she has stopped me seeing my grandaughter for no reason, who does that to a good man, my grandaughter will be six on the 4th of August and iv never seen her because of my ex wife's so called revenge on a good man, then you wonder why I want to end it.... Nothing to live for, nobody else to talk to, what a s#it life, I have everything except the one thing I really want and that's my wife, I'm so unhappy, I think iv said enough, I wish you all well, and hope the coming season is like last season up the clarets.

ClaretInLeeds · Post by **ClaretInLeeds** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:14 pm

Mick, please give someone a call. People care.

ClaretAndJew · Post by **ClaretAndJew** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:15 pm

Please reach out Mick,

ClaretTony · Post by **ClaretTony** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:17 pm

ClaretAndJew wrote: ↑
Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:15 pm
Please reach out Mick,

rickcunliffe87@gmail.com

This Mick. Please reach out, there is help out there.

Darnhill Claret · Post by **Darnhill Claret** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:17 pm

Mick, give The Samaritans a call before you go to sleep.

Bosscat · Post by **Bosscat** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:25 pm

Give rickcunliffe87@gmail.com a call out Mick ...

COBBLE · Post by **COBBLE** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:25 pm

Mick I hesitate to think I can offer you advice but want to help a little bit. It sounds like you are suffering from depression and more. Please get in touch with the groups and agencies that might help you. Give them a chance and meet people facing the same things. One life including yours is priceless. Keep in touch with this forum.

vancouverclaret · Post by **vancouverclaret** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:28 pm

Please call a crisis line and talk to someone. As Claretinleeds said people do care.

ClaretAndJew · Post by **ClaretAndJew** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:30 pm

I'll leave my email address up for a little while, Mick.

I am not a mental health professional, I have however battled my own mental health problems, and I, like a lot on here, are very open to talk about it. Do not do something that is permanent for a problem that is only temporary, no matter how bad it feels.

Something that a 999 operator told me once - Even though your call to them might not seem appropriate, if you feel like your own life is in danger due to mental health problems, then calling them is the right thing. They may not help you out immediately, but they will sign post you to places, trust me. The Crisis team should help, and they are typically good with responding to people.

Aclaret · Post by **Aclaret** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:33 pm

Any Clarets down in the South that can get in touch with
Mick ? You've posted some great posts in the past Mick, let's hear some more.....keep on talking mate, you're one of us. UTC.

DCWat · Post by **DCWat** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:33 pm

It’s difficult to read of a fellow claret feeling this way, Mick.

Reach out and take any help that is available to you - things may not look too positive now but with the right help, guidance and support, things can get better.

Talking is a big first step but it will help you.

Pickles · Post by **Pickles** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:34 pm

I don't know Rick personally but from the little I know, I think he'll be a good person to contact. As will The Samaritans, and there's Andy's Man Club (I had a quick search now, they have a group in Woking.)

Lowbankclaret · Post by **Lowbankclaret** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:35 pm

BurnleyMickSouth wrote: ↑
Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:12 pm
Hi Clarets everywhere, well where do I start, as some of you will most probably remember a few years ago about 6 to be precise, my now ex wife destroyed my life with lies and false accusations to the police, not one word was true what she said I had done to her resulted in a NFA from the CPS, yet here I am and contemplate doing away with myself, iv had No relationship since she destroyed my life, we are now divorced, as that went through on the 1st of March this year, I am away from my nice flat at present, but my life is bad, no mum or dad, I'm retired but nobody to talk to or say I love you at night before going to bed, I am such a lonely man, no family, if I hear sad or love songs the tears come and I just want to end it, I live in Surrey now, I gave up everything to be with Tracey including my love of Burnley fc, I am so unhappy, I need somebody to love and talk to, but cannot get her out of my mind after all these years, I only want her, but I can't and that's the hurt inside of me, despite everything that she did to me, I still love my ex wife, if I could come home to Burnley then at least I could support the team iv watched for over 55 yrs, I'm so unhappy, I have no hobbies and interests, but I feel soon I will be calling it a day, thanks for reading this, advise is good but it's the inner feeling and it's destroying me inside, my love for Tracey won't die, so I have to do something about my life. I have no children myself, and she has stopped me seeing my grandaughter for no reason, who does that to a good man, my grandaughter will be six on the 4th of August and iv never seen her because of my ex wife's so called revenge on a good man, then you wonder why I want to end it.... Nothing to live for, nobody else to talk to, what a s#it life, I have everything except the one thing I really want and that's my wife, I'm so unhappy, I think iv said enough, I wish you all well, and hope the coming season is like last season up the clarets.

I was there 14 years ago, please reach out. There are always people to help you. People to listen. People to go to the pub.

Lancasterclaret · Post by **Lancasterclaret** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:36 pm

Never know what to say with stuff like this but I'll give it a go

you only get one shot at this Mick, and however bad it is, its not worth taking that step, it always gets better - talk to ClaretandJew and take care

Pearcey · Post by **Pearcey** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:36 pm

As has already been said, please reach out. There are groups that can help too. Andy’s Man Club help men just look you and believe me when I say you aren’t alone.
https://andysmanclub.co.uk/

agreenwood · Post by **agreenwood** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:37 pm

Andy’s Man Club are an excellent organisation. I know more than one person who has come out of the other side of their mental health battle thanks to AMC’s help.

Look after yourself Mick.

Rouwens_Weapon · Post by **Rouwens_Weapon** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:39 pm

Please ring Samaritans on 116 123
It is fully confidential, you can say what you want without judgement and there will be a listening ear on the other end. All volunteers are fully trained and it is worth it just for a chat and to disrupt how you are feeling now. They can also signpost you in the direction of other services that are available and perhaps suitable for you, Andy's man club is a good example.
Look after yourself, Mick. UTC

Quickenthetempo · Post by **Quickenthetempo** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:42 pm

Ring your favourite person who can make you laugh and smile on the phone Mick.

You have coped for 6 years. It's just a blip.

Grahamjack · Post by **Grahamjack** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:43 pm

If you need some To talk to then give me a bell anytime.

Burnley fc is in all our hearts good times and bad

Let me know if you want my number I am 57 divorced and Bfc is my life too

Graham

Andingle · Post by **Andingle** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:43 pm

You've taken the first step with the opening post Mick , take the help as you're not alone

jedi_master · Post by **jedi_master** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:45 pm

So sorry to read how a fellow Claret is feeling right now. I can’t really express myself very well on subjects like this Mick other than to say that there is always a reason to fight on, a reason to talk to people. You’re never alone no matter how much your mind might be telling you the opposite - follow the advice offered from those with far better insight than me above. Stay strong and look after yourself.

Claretnick · Post by **Claretnick** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:46 pm

Rouwens_Weapon wrote: ↑
Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:39 pm
Please ring Samaritans on 116 123
It is fully confidential, you can say what you want without judgement and there will be a listening ear on the other end. All volunteers are fully trained and it is worth it just for a chat and to disrupt how you are feeling now. They can also signpost you in the direction of other services that are available and perhaps suitable for you, Andy's man club is a good example.
Look after yourself, Mick. UTC

Seconded Mick, The Samaritans helped me many years ago when I had hit rock bottom.
Please pick up your phone and dial 116 123, at least you will have someone to talk with this evening, a bit of company on the phone tonight.

Bin Ont Turf · Post by **Bin Ont Turf** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:47 pm

You have everything to live for Mick.

Talk to ClaretandJew or the link Pearcey has given.

lakedistrictclaret · Post by **lakedistrictclaret** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:48 pm

Mick, I hope you don't think I'm being flippant here, I'm not. I'm serious.

Get a puppy. You'll fall in love with it immediately, and it will love you within a couple of days. You will also find that other dogowners will talk to you when you take it for a walk.

It's over five years since mrslakedistrict died. I've obviously coped better than you have, but I couldn't be without my dog.

In addition to this, I endorse all the above advice.

ArmchairDetective · Post by **ArmchairDetective** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:54 pm

There are people to talk to who want to help, Mick.

The samaritans number is 116 123.

999 can help too if you think you might do something.

Really hope you're able to reach out.

jdrobbo · Post by **jdrobbo** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 10:00 pm

agreenwood wrote: ↑
Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:37 pm
Andy’s Man Club are an excellent organisation. I know more than one person who has come out of the other side of their mental health battle thanks to AMC’s help.

Look after yourself Mick.

I will second this. Please get in touch with someone or if that’s a bit too much immediately, carry on talking to us on this thread of yours…for however long you need.

YOU are important!!!

Keep talking

John

BurnleyMickSouth · Post by **BurnleyMickSouth** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 10:06 pm

Thank you for your prompt replys, iv tried the Samaritans a few years go when this first happened they were good but that was then a now is now, seeking help now is to late for me tears come so easily, I cannot get Tracey Mc out of my head, I miss her so much, she destroyed my life with her lies and accusations but I can't help my feelings, I am a lost cause one day soon I hope the man above will say Michael has suffered enuff and now he needs to join people who love him and want him, but thanks fellow clarets I take on board all what you have said but being fair you are not me, I love my ex wife to bits and think of her everyday, that's why I am the way I am, God forgive me please.

Jakubclaret · Post by **Jakubclaret** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 10:15 pm

Sometimes medication can help as a short term solution to help you get back on a even keel & blot things out for awhile, if you haven't already been down that route or had anything professionally prescribed before by a doctor.

todclaret · Post by **todclaret** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 10:16 pm

there's always someone to help you https://andysmanclub.co.uk/

slw · Post by **slw** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 10:19 pm

Try Casual Minds Matter in Burnley Town Centre, I've had a lots of problems recently and they are helping me and I'm sure they can help you as well.

BurnleyMickSouth · Post by **BurnleyMickSouth** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 10:20 pm

A true Burnley fan who has had enough, I am a diabetic type 2, I am on pint no 5 at the moment, I don't drink or smoke, but if I go back to where I am staying and don't wake up in the morning the time was or is for me to go, I cannot live my life like this, I'm 67 and want to call time on how I feel.

TsarBomba · Post by **TsarBomba** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 10:22 pm

Mick- if you live in Kent, I’ll come and meet you now. Whereabouts are you?

Failing that ring 999.

ksrclaret · Post by **ksrclaret** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 10:25 pm

BurnleyMickSouth wrote: ↑
Sat Jul 22, 2023 10:20 pm
A true Burnley fan who has had enough, I am a diabetic type 2, I am on pint no 5 at the moment, I don't drink or smoke, but if I go back to where I am staying and don't wake up in the morning the time was or is for me to go, I cannot live my life like this, I'm 67 and want to call time on how I feel.

Whenever I've felt like things were becoming hopeless, the thought of not supporting Burnley anymore kept me going until things got better again. And they did get better. Every single time. And I'll always be thankful that I had the Clarets to get me through.

This next season is going to be a belter. Make sure you see every minute of it.

Jellybean · Post by **Jellybean** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 10:26 pm

Mick please please follow the advice of others or take tsar bomba up on his offer to come and see you.
You must see that people care about you, you are part of the claret family and we all look out for one another.

warksclaret · Post by **warksclaret** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 10:26 pm

So much good advice on this site, and the nice thing is everyone wants to see you come through it. I was in the same place two years ago for 9 months, hooked on sleeping tablets and just could not go out without getting major panic attacks, and diagnosed with a serious anxiety disorder-could tell you a lot more, but I ended getting the right advice, by talking to a group who knew exactly the anxiety I was going through.The biggest thing I learned was occupying my mind on numerous things in the day, and realising that anxiety was not real. It was just a series of what if this..., and what if that,....always fearing the worst circumstances.With the right advise you will get a good understanding of the way your body is changing as part of its defence to fight anxiety.Have faith in yourself pulling through with help. Then you will be strong enough to appreciate life again

warksclaret · Post by **warksclaret** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 10:29 pm

TsarBomba wrote: ↑
Sat Jul 22, 2023 10:22 pm
Mick- if you live in Kent, I’ll come and meet you now. Whereabouts are you?

Failing that ring 999.

Bless you T B

Aclaret · Post by **Aclaret** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 10:32 pm

Mick. Lakesistrictclaret says some great things.
You may not be a dog person I don't know.I have been through a divorce that devastated me with the loss of seeing my children growing up.
3 weeks ago I said goodbye to my dog, my best pal who was 15 years old, I absolutely loved her to bits I'm 63 years old and I've never cried as many tears....I miss her so much......pups, dogs really give you something to live for, they give so much back.
All the best Mick.

Spiral · Post by **Spiral** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 10:41 pm

Mick, it comes across clear that you're painfully lonely and while that's $hit, it's also okay, it's okay to feel like that. Muster all the strength you have in you to look and see that there is a small army of people on here who have your back. There's a thread full of people here who are giving you the opportunity not to be lonely for even the shortest moment. Muster all the courage you have in you and take up that offer. Fking fight past all that $hit that's dragging you deep into the abyss and say hi. Just keep talking, for no other reason that the act of conversation allows you a window to look out of the prison of your own mind. Please talk. It sounds as though you feel as though you have nothing to lose. If that is the case, recognise that you have nothing to lose by talking to us. You will NEVER regret talking. Never. Just don't allow this unbearable feeling of loneliness make you feel as though you are completely alone in the world. It's courageous even to post what you did. The next part is **** easy. Just talk to someone about literally anything. Even talk on here, on this very thread; everyone already has your back. Keep posting Mick.

FCBurnley · Post by **FCBurnley** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 10:46 pm

I am not a dog fan but in your position I would certainly get a puppy or dog as suggested. They give unconditional love. No questions asked and if you get a rescue dog you will have no idea how good you will feel for rescuing him or her. Go and get him or her tomorrow. What a great thing to do on a Sunday morning.

TsarBomba · Post by **TsarBomba** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 10:54 pm

I’ve trawled through Mick’s old posts.

He’s in Walton on Thames, Surrey.

Has anyone car shared, or any Surrey Clarets met up in the past 3/4 years at a pub for a drink?

Edit- Or was when he first registered 3/4 years ago.

IanMcL · Post by **IanMcL** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 10:57 pm

Mick - embrace the advice above.

I lost my wife and with it went everything that counted as half of me.

I went away with the family and enjoyed it. We shared some tears. Therapeutic.

Then I returned home and as soon as I entered my/our home, wallop.

I needed to talk to someone else - I wanted to talk to a woman. Women are different to men. I joined a dating site and had lots of written exchanges, which was positive. One woman used to go on a date and then tell the story. Always had me on fits of laughter, just reading it.

Anyway I had some dates and some chats and got more confident going out again. Then I met a woman and we talked for 7 hours. She is now my partner and we have just bought our together home in Scotland.

Mourn the loss of your wife. Remember only the good times and move on as though she is gone forever - because she is.

Getting a season ticket was the other thing I did! 235 miles each way takes your mind off things.

All the best. Up the Clarets - and Mick.

TsarBomba · Post by **TsarBomba** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 11:16 pm

I’ve called Kent Police on 999. I’ve got Mick’s DOB and I would imagine Surrey Police have Mick’s address etc due to previous incidents with his ex.

They should be passing the information to Surrey Police as we speak.

Quickenthetempo · Post by **Quickenthetempo** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 11:17 pm

BurnleyMickSouth wrote: ↑
Sat Jul 22, 2023 10:20 pm
A true Burnley fan who has had enough, I am a diabetic type 2, I am on pint no 5 at the moment, I don't drink or smoke, but if I go back to where I am staying and don't wake up in the morning the time was or is for me to go, I cannot live my life like this, I'm 67 and want to call time on how I feel.

The good news is Mick, the 5 pints aren't much of a problem for type 2 diabetics, as long as you get something to eat before bed.
The alcohol will be a problem if you're feeling down though, it exaggerates things.

Plan your favourite breakfast. Give yourself things to look forward to.

RHansburyEsq · Post by **RHansburyEsq** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 11:22 pm

Mick mate I don't know you but like TB I searched through your posts to see if I can find a way to help because I'm worried about you. I'm far away but I saw a bloke who like all of us loves the rollercoaster of supporting this wonderful football club. Highs and lows. Crap performances. Celebrating goals. Beating that lot. Getting promotion. Being excited about signings. You've taken a massive step by expressing how you feel. Please please please do as this fellow claret did once upon a time and call 116 123. Things will not get better overnight but there is help and there is hope I absolutely hand on heart promise. Take care fella.

Aclaret · Post by **Aclaret** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 11:24 pm

TsarBomba wrote: ↑
Sat Jul 22, 2023 11:16 pm
I’ve called Kent Police on 999. I’ve got Mick’s DOB and I would imagine Surrey Police have Mick’s address etc due to previous incidents with his ex.

They should be passing the information to Surrey Police as we speak.

Nice one TsarBomba....here's hoping Mick keeps on reading UTC and he knows he has friends.

Spiral · Post by **Spiral** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 11:40 pm

BurnleyMickSouth wrote: ↑
Sat Jul 22, 2023 10:20 pm
A true Burnley fan who has had enough, I am a diabetic type 2, I am on pint no 5 at the moment, I don't drink or smoke, but if I go back to where I am staying and don't wake up in the morning the time was or is for me to go, I cannot live my life like this, I'm 67 and want to call time on how I feel.

If you're still with us Mick please keep posting, or talk to someone. What you've been through is awful and anyone would feel distraught, and what you're feeling is totally human. I hope this isn't too forthright because honestly the thing you need more than anything now is a hug (everyone is giving you one from afar, trust me), but if you don't mind me saying, sometimes when in the kind of headspace you're in you need to be shaken out of the one-sidedness and sense of certainty you have in your mind about the state of your life and your thoughts and emotions and feelings, so if you can bear me for just one minute can I touch upon one thing you said?

You said "I'm 67 and want to call time on how I feel". Now that I can understand, because nobody wants to feel that way, and I know you don't either. But you must recognise (and this is where I'm being carefully and cautiously forthright in giving you this perspective) that wanting to call time on how you feel is an altogether different thing from wanting to call time on your own life. There are ways of navigating how you feel if you can separate the two things: the feelings you have as though they are a force acting on you, and your very existence, the thing that probably feels like punching bag that your feelings are hammering away at. The biggest, bravest, strongest, most powerful thing you can do tonight is draw upon all your power as a free and sentient human being to recognise that important distinction, that difference between wanting your pain to end, and wanting your life to end. I can tell you categorically, this desire to end your life is a displacement of your desire to end your pain. Do not end your life tonight. Separate in your mind the pain you feel from your own existence. Your existence takes primacy, not your pain. Your continued existence is the force that can overcome your pain. You need to see though the night. When you wake up tomorrow you'll have won a battle, and you can be proud of that. You have friends here, you have people who care, even if your pain is not allowing you to see it clearly. Can you defer your trust to us for just one, allow us to be your better judgement and convince you tonight that you are loved, even by what seems like strangers. How can any fellow claret be a stranger? That's absurd. You're not just of us, you're with us. Please keep posting, or reach out to someone, or call a helpline, but whatever you do, please muster all your might and all the strength in your bones to call for an ally. You deserve that. Just keep talking about anything.

Tricky Trevor · Post by **Tricky Trevor** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 11:45 pm

We are all here for you Mick. You are having a very bad night but they don’t all have to be that bad. You need company. What other interests do you have? Walking, photography, art, music, chess, bowls, etc., Try something new but whatever there will be people talking and laughing. Anything to get you away from your demons.
Best wishes to you and when you wake up with a hangover please let us all know.
UTC

beeholeclaret · Post by **beeholeclaret** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 11:52 pm

A virtual hug from me. Hoping you can finish your drink and go to bed reading these supportive messages from people who have your well being in their thoughts.

Some sort of action plan to move forward is needed but probably difficult to sort this out by yourself in your current state of mind. Seek out some of the help offered in the posts above. Someone maybe able to help you turn that corner.

mybloodisclaret · Post by **mybloodisclaret** » Sun Jul 23, 2023 12:02 am

Hi Mick, this thread is truly upsetting, it's nice to so many reaching out to you, so many no doubt who don't know you.

It's really clear above that people care! Feeling alone and isolated is absolutely harrowing, at some point most, if not all of us have been there. It reads from your posts that you are there, and in a really bad place on the journey. I don't post much on here anymore, just usual "happy clapper" stuff, as I see it as important to try and have a positive outlook on events. Negativity can really affect your well being. I am posting to let you know you are loved and not alone.

Those who know me, some of who are on here, know who I am, and know that I have seen dark days. I have seen things and been in positions that the vast majority of people will never see or have to experience, (thankfully) it's positivity that turns the darkness bright. I wish I could bring a box full of positivity down to you Mick. Please know that these days will pass, things will get better!! You mention wanting to come home to Burnley, come back Mick, we're all clarets here mate. Many of us will reach out and help you. Don't feel like you are alone, because you aren't, and you never will be.

Please Mick, take the advice, get help, speak to people. If you fancy meeting up with some daft but Burnley mad lads (all well north of 40) let me know.

I see that Tsar has already taken the first steps towards checking on you. Take any help that comes Mick. It's important.

Don't do anything daft mate, take time, think about the good things, know that people care.

MBIC.

Clive 1960 · Post by **Clive 1960** » Sun Jul 23, 2023 12:18 am

BurnleyMickSouth wrote: ↑
Sat Jul 22, 2023 9:12 pm
Hi Clarets everywhere, well where do I start, as some of you will most probably remember a few years ago about 6 to be precise, my now ex wife destroyed my life with lies and false accusations to the police, not one word was true what she said I had done to her resulted in a NFA from the CPS, yet here I am and contemplate doing away with myself, iv had No relationship since she destroyed my life, we are now divorced, as that went through on the 1st of March this year, I am away from my nice flat at present, but my life is bad, no mum or dad, I'm retired but nobody to talk to or say I love you at night before going to bed, I am such a lonely man, no family, if I hear sad or love songs the tears come and I just want to end it, I live in Surrey now, I gave up everything to be with Tracey including my love of Burnley fc, I am so unhappy, I need somebody to love and talk to, but cannot get her out of my mind after all these years, I only want her, but I can't and that's the hurt inside of me, despite everything that she did to me, I still love my ex wife, if I could come home to Burnley then at least I could support the team iv watched for over 55 yrs, I'm so unhappy, I have no hobbies and interests, but I feel soon I will be calling it a day, thanks for reading this, advise is good but it's the inner feeling and it's destroying me inside, my love for Tracey won't die, so I have to do something about my life. I have no children myself, and she has stopped me seeing my grandaughter for no reason, who does that to a good man, my grandaughter will be six on the 4th of August and iv never seen her because of my ex wife's so called revenge on a good man, then you wonder why I want to end it.... Nothing to live for, nobody else to talk to, what a s#it life, I have everything except the one thing I really want and that's my wife, I'm so unhappy, I think iv said enough, I wish you all well, and hope the coming season is like last season up the clarets.

Hi there, what you said mirrors what I went through and i know what you are going through all i will say talk to someone and get stronger like i did because there's light at end of the tunnel and I'm in a better place now.