A joke for you all
A joke for you all
An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean
all go to a nightclub ..................................
The doorman stops them and says sorry I can’t let you in without a Thai.
all go to a nightclub ..................................
The doorman stops them and says sorry I can’t let you in without a Thai.
These 6 users liked this post: KateR FCBurnley Claretlad nil_desperandum IanMcL Middle-agedClaret
-
- Posts: 1684
- Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 8:10 pm
- Been Liked: 382 times
- Has Liked: 321 times
- Location: On a crazy train
Re: A joke for you all
All I can say is I'm glad we got the chance to read it rather than listen to it!
These 2 users liked this post: FactualFrank Rodneyyouplonker
Re: A joke for you all
I don't think I will use this one on a Friday night
This user liked this post: nil_desperandum
-
- Posts: 5916
- Joined: Tue Jan 12, 2016 10:40 pm
- Been Liked: 1774 times
- Has Liked: 361 times
- Location: The Banana Stand
Re: A joke for you all
The jokes no sense, I'll rewrite it for you
An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman... and an Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean... all go to the State Dinner at the Phitsanulok Mansion
The Doorman stops them and says, "Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai"
An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman... and an Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean... all go to the State Dinner at the Phitsanulok Mansion
The Doorman stops them and says, "Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai"
Last edited by claptrappers_union on Wed Jan 08, 2020 2:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: A joke for you all
I think this scans better.
An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman... and an Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to the Ritz for dinner...
The Maître d' stops them and says, "Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai"
An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman... and an Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to the Ritz for dinner...
The Maître d' stops them and says, "Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai"
-
- Posts: 3011
- Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 9:20 am
- Been Liked: 1050 times
- Has Liked: 996 times
- Location: The Moon, Outer Space.
Re: A joke for you all
Average penis size for an Icelander is 11 inches.
Average penis size for an Italian is 9 inches.
Average penis size for a German is 7 inches.
Sadly average penis size for English men is only 5 inches.
And that’s why mums go to Iceland.
Average penis size for an Italian is 9 inches.
Average penis size for a German is 7 inches.
Sadly average penis size for English men is only 5 inches.
And that’s why mums go to Iceland.
-
- Posts: 1371
- Joined: Thu Jun 23, 2016 2:37 pm
- Been Liked: 657 times
- Has Liked: 7 times
Re: A joke for you all
that's a bit racist...
-
- Posts: 3011
- Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 9:20 am
- Been Liked: 1050 times
- Has Liked: 996 times
- Location: The Moon, Outer Space.
Re: A joke for you all
Which one?
-
- Posts: 5916
- Joined: Tue Jan 12, 2016 10:40 pm
- Been Liked: 1774 times
- Has Liked: 361 times
- Location: The Banana Stand
-
- Posts: 25445
- Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:46 am
- Been Liked: 6930 times
- Has Liked: 11660 times
- Location: Leeds
Re: A joke for you all
I've just walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB.
It was a nice trip down memory lane.
It was a nice trip down memory lane.
These 2 users liked this post: MrTopTier IanMcL
-
- Posts: 5916
- Joined: Tue Jan 12, 2016 10:40 pm
- Been Liked: 1774 times
- Has Liked: 361 times
- Location: The Banana Stand
Re: A joke for you all
No... Make people work for the punchline...FactualFrank wrote: ↑Wed Jan 08, 2020 3:01 pmI've just walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB.
It was a nice trip down memory lane.
I've just walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64, 128, 256 and 512. It was a nice trip down Memory Lane
Don't spoon-feed people - This isn't an episode Mrs Browns Boys
-
- Posts: 25445
- Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:46 am
- Been Liked: 6930 times
- Has Liked: 11660 times
- Location: Leeds
Re: A joke for you all
My grandfather used to be a baker for the army.
When he went to war, he went in all buns glazing.
When he went to war, he went in all buns glazing.
This user liked this post: IanMcL
Re: A joke for you all
What do you call a Deer with no eyes ?
No idea !!
What do you call a dead Deer with no eyes ?
Still no idea!!
No idea !!
What do you call a dead Deer with no eyes ?
Still no idea!!
-
- Posts: 1371
- Joined: Thu Jun 23, 2016 2:37 pm
- Been Liked: 657 times
- Has Liked: 7 times
Re: A joke for you all
was he dyslexic FF ?FactualFrank wrote: ↑Wed Jan 08, 2020 3:09 pmMy grandfather used to be a baker for the army.
When he went to war, he went in all buns glazing.
-
- Posts: 25445
- Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:46 am
- Been Liked: 6930 times
- Has Liked: 11660 times
- Location: Leeds
Re: A joke for you all
Yeah. His teacher at school told him he'd never be good at poetry because of his dyslexia.
But so far he's made 3 vases and a jug.
These 2 users liked this post: Tricky Trevor atlantalad
-
- Posts: 1371
- Joined: Thu Jun 23, 2016 2:37 pm
- Been Liked: 657 times
- Has Liked: 7 times
Re: A joke for you all
Kinel FCBurnley. Next thing you'll be telling us that a huge hole has been found in Brunshaw Road and police are looking into it...
-
- Posts: 1371
- Joined: Thu Jun 23, 2016 2:37 pm
- Been Liked: 657 times
- Has Liked: 7 times
Re: A joke for you all
Funnily enough, my grandad suffered from OCD. He liked to call it CDO though..so the letters were in the right order...
-
- Posts: 1856
- Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 9:37 am
- Been Liked: 548 times
- Has Liked: 31 times
- Location: South Manchester
Re: A joke for you all
wasn't it.........256K, 512K and 1GB ????FactualFrank wrote: ↑Wed Jan 08, 2020 3:01 pmI've just walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB.
It was a nice trip down memory lane.
-
- Posts: 25445
- Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:46 am
- Been Liked: 6930 times
- Has Liked: 11660 times
- Location: Leeds
Re: A joke for you all
Nope. 512K is half a MB. Keep up will you.
-
- Posts: 7317
- Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 5:06 pm
- Been Liked: 1827 times
- Has Liked: 3965 times
Re: A joke for you all
Here you go, this fixes it:
My dyslexic grandfather used to be a baker for the army.
When he went to war, he went in all buns glazing.
-
- Posts: 25445
- Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:46 am
- Been Liked: 6930 times
- Has Liked: 11660 times
- Location: Leeds
Re: A joke for you all
Nah. There's no need to mention dyslexic - the bit about him being a baker is what it's about - not whether he can spell.nil_desperandum wrote: ↑Wed Jan 08, 2020 3:32 pmHere you go, this fixes it:
My dyslexic grandfather used to be a baker for the army.
When he went to war, he went in all buns glazing.
-
- Posts: 1371
- Joined: Thu Jun 23, 2016 2:37 pm
- Been Liked: 657 times
- Has Liked: 7 times
Re: A joke for you all
which war was he involved in ?
-
- Posts: 1856
- Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 9:37 am
- Been Liked: 548 times
- Has Liked: 31 times
- Location: South Manchester
Re: A joke for you all
My mistake.
Indeed that would have been a very long walk down memory lane.
Re: A joke for you all
He was a Dyslexic Agnostic
They say he refused to believe in Dog
They say he refused to believe in Dog
These 2 users liked this post: FactualFrank nil_desperandum
-
- Posts: 25445
- Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:46 am
- Been Liked: 6930 times
- Has Liked: 11660 times
- Location: Leeds
Re: A joke for you all
My friend David got his ID stolen over Christmas. So now we just call him Dav.
These 5 users liked this post: MrTopTier Bosscat Rodneyyouplonker Claret-On-A-T-Rex atlantalad
-
- Posts: 3011
- Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 9:20 am
- Been Liked: 1050 times
- Has Liked: 996 times
- Location: The Moon, Outer Space.
Re: A joke for you all
Like that one Frank, you iot.My friend David got his ID stolen over Christmas. So now we just call him Dav.
-
- Posts: 1871
- Joined: Sat Jan 23, 2016 1:33 pm
- Been Liked: 385 times
- Has Liked: 236 times
- Location: Skipton
Re: A joke for you all
I threw a boomerang a few years ago.
I still live in constant fear.
I still live in constant fear.
-
- Posts: 3011
- Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 9:20 am
- Been Liked: 1050 times
- Has Liked: 996 times
- Location: The Moon, Outer Space.
Re: A joke for you all
I was just taking a dip in the swimming pool when the lifeguard shouted out..
"What have you got there?"
"Hummus", I replied.
"What have you got there?"
"Hummus", I replied.
This user liked this post: Bosscat
-
- Posts: 3930
- Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 12:39 pm
- Been Liked: 834 times
- Has Liked: 1332 times
- Location: burnley
Re: A joke for you all
Nah, but he did report that he had his toilet seat nicked. However when the police came round they said that they had nothing to go on.Marney&Mee wrote: ↑Wed Jan 08, 2020 3:18 pmKinel FCBurnley. Next thing you'll be telling us that a huge hole has been found in Brunshaw Road and police are looking into it...
-
- Posts: 3011
- Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 9:20 am
- Been Liked: 1050 times
- Has Liked: 996 times
- Location: The Moon, Outer Space.
Re: A joke for you all
"Son you're just not cut out to be a mime."
"Was it something I said?"
"Yes."
"Was it something I said?"
"Yes."
-
- Posts: 25445
- Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:46 am
- Been Liked: 6930 times
- Has Liked: 11660 times
- Location: Leeds
Re: A joke for you all
I just tried to change my UTC password to "BeefStew" but it said it wasn't stroganoff.
-
- Posts: 1371
- Joined: Thu Jun 23, 2016 2:37 pm
- Been Liked: 657 times
- Has Liked: 7 times
Re: A joke for you all
Uncanny, I don't need to change my password, but I changed it to FishPie. Just for the halibut...
-
- Posts: 5829
- Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 12:38 pm
- Been Liked: 2491 times
- Has Liked: 1477 times
- Location: On the high seas chasing Pirates
Re: A joke for you all
Hehe
- Attachments
-
- image.jpeg (98.65 KiB) Viewed 3609 times
These 2 users liked this post: DomBFC1882 Bosscat
-
- Posts: 1682
- Joined: Mon Aug 14, 2017 2:21 pm
- Been Liked: 462 times
- Has Liked: 2398 times
-
- Been Liked: 1 time
- Has Liked: 837 times
Re: A joke for you all
A man goes to the Doctor with a strawberry growing on his head.
"What am I supposed to do about this?"
"Put some cream on it."
"What am I supposed to do about this?"
"Put some cream on it."
-
- Posts: 483
- Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2016 9:57 pm
- Been Liked: 135 times
- Has Liked: 114 times
Re: A joke for you all
Once gave a lecture involving the universal gravitational equation.
I, quite innocently, said to full lecture theatre " just think of the pull Uranus has"
I, quite innocently, said to full lecture theatre " just think of the pull Uranus has"
-
- Posts: 3662
- Joined: Sat Jan 23, 2016 10:13 pm
- Been Liked: 1402 times
- Has Liked: 2694 times
- Location: varied
Re: A joke for you all
A guy kept haggling us for odd jobs to do, a decent fella quite down on his luck.
I eventually relented and offered him £100. to paint the porch.
I gave him the paint etc
Two hours later he knocks the door and says "All done Sir,... and by the way it's actually a BMW"
I eventually relented and offered him £100. to paint the porch.
I gave him the paint etc
Two hours later he knocks the door and says "All done Sir,... and by the way it's actually a BMW"
Re: A joke for you all
No he was a baker!
Re: A joke for you all
I identify as a Steam Locomotive... Does this mean I am trainsexual
Re: A joke for you all
We live in a free country
Up The China
Up The China
Re: A joke for you all
Gigabyte's weren't invented then!
-
- Posts: 752
- Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2018 2:23 pm
- Been Liked: 151 times
- Has Liked: 4 times
Re: A joke for you all
Lads.. The all time classic incoming:
Why did Jeremy Beadle lose at poker?
He had a crap hand
Why did Jeremy Beadle lose at poker?
He had a crap hand
-
- Posts: 25445
- Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:46 am
- Been Liked: 6930 times
- Has Liked: 11660 times
- Location: Leeds
Re: A joke for you all
An English couple decided to adopt a little German boy. After two years, the child doesn’t speak and his parents start to worry about him. After three years, he still has not spoken and after four years, he has yet to utter a word.
The English couple figure he is never going to speak but he is still a lovely child, and on his next birthday, they throw him a party and make him a chocolate cake with orange icing.
The parents are in the kitchen when the boy comes in and says, “Mother, Father, I do not care for the orange icing on the chocolate cake.”
My God,” says his mother. “You can speak?”
To which the German boy replies, “Of course.”
"How come you've never spoken before?“ asks his father.
“Well,” says the boy, “up until now, everything has been satisfactory.”
The English couple figure he is never going to speak but he is still a lovely child, and on his next birthday, they throw him a party and make him a chocolate cake with orange icing.
The parents are in the kitchen when the boy comes in and says, “Mother, Father, I do not care for the orange icing on the chocolate cake.”
My God,” says his mother. “You can speak?”
To which the German boy replies, “Of course.”
"How come you've never spoken before?“ asks his father.
“Well,” says the boy, “up until now, everything has been satisfactory.”