Bog Rolls
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Bog Rolls
Just seen on telly that the German owned UK toilet tissue import company has been stock piling in readiness for the additional 6 minutes delay at Calais.
What are we doing - we don't even make our own bog-rolls anymore? How low can we go?
What are we doing - we don't even make our own bog-rolls anymore? How low can we go?
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Re: Bog Rolls
Brexit will wipe the slate clean. Either that or it's back to dock leaf.
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Re: Bog Rolls
I knew the moss growing all across my lawn would come in useful one day.
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Re: Bog Rolls
Cream for athletes foot ?basil6345789 wrote:Just seen on telly that the German owned UK toilet tissue import company has been stock piling in readiness for the additional 6 minutes delay at Calais.
What are we doing - we don't even make our own bog-rolls anymore? How low can we go?
Re: Bog Rolls
I thought Francis Lee had sorted that market!
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Re: Bog Rolls
Here's one for you , 100% of toilet rolls are imported from the UK to Ireland .
I am ready for the puns that will come from you all .
I am ready for the puns that will come from you all .
Re: Bog Rolls
I blame brexitTribesmen wrote:Here's one for you , 100% of toilet rolls are imported from the UK to Ireland .
I am ready for the puns that will come from you all .
Re: Bog Rolls
Bring back Izal, it didn't clean your backside just moved it around. Brilliant for tracing as well . If Johny Foreigner thinks he can brow beat us into surrender, if he thinks we will crawl on our bellies snivelling and grovelling into a federal Europe, if he thinks we will subsidise the the failing Eurozone economies for ever and a day for fear of having skid marks then he is mistaken. Skid marks, newspaper dock leaves, moss, grass and Izal have left us strong and fearless. . F the Andrex puppy it's probably French anyway.RULE BRITANIA
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/t ... 27294.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/t ... 27294.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
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Re: Bog Rolls
I learned to play saxophone using a comb and Izal.
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Re: Bog Rolls
That could explain why you talk ****.basil6345789 wrote:I learned to play saxophone using a comb and Izal.
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Re: Bog Rolls
When we used to travel over, in the late 90s-00s they were so expensive in Ireland I used to take the daughter two blocks of them from Sterling Stubbins.Tribesmen wrote:Here's one for you , 100% of toilet rolls are imported from the UK to Ireland .
I am ready for the puns that will come from you all .
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Re: Bog Rolls
So in the event of no deal we won't be able to have a dump ?
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Re: Bog Rolls
The whole point of Brexit was that we wanted to be able to sort our own **** outclaretonthecoast1882 wrote:So in the event of no deal we won't be able to have a dump ?
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Re: Bog Rolls
Goobs wrote:The whole point of Brexit was that we wanted to be able to sort our own **** out
Well I guess it beats sorting someone elses out, with or without bog roll
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Re: Bog Rolls
brilliantRileybobs wrote:That could explain why you talk ****.
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Re: Bog Rolls
Do they still have izal in the public toilets next to the cats whiskers?
Re: Bog Rolls
Daily Mail/Express?Billy Balfour wrote: Either that or it's back to dock leaf.
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Re: Bog Rolls
German owned not German made - they're all made in this country. Its the raw materials that come in from abroad.basil6345789 wrote:Just seen on telly that the German owned UK toilet tissue import company has been stock piling in readiness for the additional 6 minutes delay at Calais.
What are we doing - we don't even make our own bog-rolls anymore? How low can we go?
Trust me, i work for 'em.
Re: Bog Rolls
Nationalize all essential industries, it's war but not as you know it, Jim.
Anyway, if it gets to queues and rations, you're in the Izal queue over there.
Anyway, if it gets to queues and rations, you're in the Izal queue over there.
Re: Bog Rolls
We won the world cup with Ival and skid marks look what happened since we stopped using it and went soft with Andrex ? Correct glorious defeats and pathetic penalties. Our skidmarked forebears invented or discovered electricity radio waves gravity etc.
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Re: Bog Rolls
I’ve been stockpiling copies of The Sun and Daily Mail knowing full well the day of no bog roll would come.
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Re: Bog Rolls
It already does, just ask a dog!WadingInDeeper wrote:I knew the moss growing all across my lawn would come in useful one day.
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Re: Bog Rolls
It needs wiping from the boardCnBtruntru wrote:What a shiiiiiiiite thread
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Re: Bog Rolls
A tissue of lies I say.Tribesmen wrote:Here's one for you , 100% of toilet rolls are imported from the UK to Ireland .
I am ready for the puns that will come from you all .
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Re: Bog Rolls
How did that ditty go?
There's a shortage of bog paper in Mobile
There's a shortage of bog paper in Mobile
So they wait until it vapors,
Then they light it with a taper .
inMo inMo inMo in Mobile
In Mobile, in Mobile inMo inMo inMo in Mobile
So they wait until it vapors,
Then they light it with a taper
InMO inMo inMO in Mobile.
There's a shortage of good bogs in Mobile
There's a shortage of good bogs in Mobile
So they wait until it clogs,
Then they saw it up in logs
In Mo in Mo inMo inMobile
In Mobile, in Mobile inMo inMo inMo in Mobile
So they wait until it clogs,
Then they saw it up in logs
inMo inMo inMO in Mobile.
There's a shortage of bog paper in Mobile
There's a shortage of bog paper in Mobile
So they wait until it vapors,
Then they light it with a taper .
inMo inMo inMo in Mobile
In Mobile, in Mobile inMo inMo inMo in Mobile
So they wait until it vapors,
Then they light it with a taper
InMO inMo inMO in Mobile.
There's a shortage of good bogs in Mobile
There's a shortage of good bogs in Mobile
So they wait until it clogs,
Then they saw it up in logs
In Mo in Mo inMo inMobile
In Mobile, in Mobile inMo inMo inMo in Mobile
So they wait until it clogs,
Then they saw it up in logs
inMo inMo inMO in Mobile.
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Re: Bog Rolls
Bring back IZAL, no problems wiping not like this modern soft stuff.
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Re: Bog Rolls
Fingers don't go through Izal Medicated eitherstrayclaret wrote:Bring back IZAL, no problems wiping not like this modern soft stuff.
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Re: Bog Rolls
Bring back Izal, it didn't clean your backside just moved it around. Brilliant for tracing as well . If Johny Foreigner thinks he can brow beat us into surrender, if he thinks we will crawl on our bellies snivelling and grovelling into a federal Europe, if he thinks we will subsidise the the failing Eurozone economies for ever and a day for fear of having skid marks then he is mistaken. Skid marks, newspaper dock leaves, moss, grass and Izal have left us strong and fearless. . F the Andrex puppy it's probably French anyway.RULE BRITANIA
And it could be washed clean and reused.
And it could be washed clean and reused.
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Re: Bog Rolls
No they don't, you just smear **** everywhere, like a big skidmark up your backBosscat wrote:Fingers don't go through Izal Medicated either
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Re: Bog Rolls
Why don't we throw bog rolls on to the pitch when the team comes out? Adam Blacklaw used to spend five minutes cleaning them out of the back of the net. It was a great sight to see. Anybody else remember that?
Re: Bog Rolls
Could they make a come back let's face it why stockpile something that you can wash numerous times and reuse
Re: Bog Rolls
Quick everyone get round to Steve Harpers perm's house if you've run short.Steve-Harpers-perm wrote: ↑Thu Mar 21, 2019 8:32 pmI’ve been stockpiling copies of The Sun and Daily Mail knowing full well the day of no bog roll would come.
Re: Bog Rolls
Very goodbfcjg wrote: ↑Thu Mar 21, 2019 12:52 pmBring back Izal, it didn't clean your backside just moved it around. Brilliant for tracing as well . If Johny Foreigner thinks he can brow beat us into surrender, if he thinks we will crawl on our bellies snivelling and grovelling into a federal Europe, if he thinks we will subsidise the the failing Eurozone economies for ever and a day for fear of having skid marks then he is mistaken. Skid marks, newspaper dock leaves, moss, grass and Izal have left us strong and fearless. . F the Andrex puppy it's probably French anyway.RULE BRITANIA
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/t ... 27294.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Re: Bog Rolls
Nah you need to start stockpiling Broadsheet Newspapers ... you get far more sheets per page than the Sun or Mail.Steve-Harpers-perm wrote: ↑Thu Mar 21, 2019 8:32 pmI’ve been stockpiling copies of The Sun and Daily Mail knowing full well the day of no bog roll would come.
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Re: Bog Rolls
Andy Holt has a solution - he is a trained engineer https://twitter.com/AndyhHolt/status/12 ... 8102476806
Re: Bog Rolls
He's from Stoops they do that with everything .
Re: Bog Rolls
Toilet rolls are now contaminated by Covid 19.
Re: Bog Rolls
Nuuurrrse!!!mdd2 wrote: ↑Fri Mar 22, 2019 8:55 amHow did that ditty go?
There's a shortage of bog paper in Mobile
There's a shortage of bog paper in Mobile
So they wait until it vapors,
Then they light it with a taper .
inMo inMo inMo in Mobile
In Mobile, in Mobile inMo inMo inMo in Mobile
So they wait until it vapors,
Then they light it with a taper
InMO inMo inMO in Mobile.
There's a shortage of good bogs in Mobile
There's a shortage of good bogs in Mobile
So they wait until it clogs,
Then they saw it up in logs
In Mo in Mo inMo inMobile
In Mobile, in Mobile inMo inMo inMo in Mobile
So they wait until it clogs,
Then they saw it up in logs
inMo inMo inMO in Mobile.
Re: Bog Rolls
Not sure he was trained in correct use of a vice?Chester Perry wrote: ↑Sat Mar 14, 2020 9:34 pmAndy Holt has a solution - he is a trained engineer https://twitter.com/AndyhHolt/status/12 ... 8102476806
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Re: Bog Rolls
It’s very much a UK or certainly an English issue as most of Europe barely if at all wipe their arrrses . About 20 yrs ago I found myself in a very grotty Parisian brothel after a rather heavy intake of red wine and beer .Anyway I was unable to even get the condom on due to a mix of inebriation and the fetid curtained room ( with a grunting ogre-like performance on the other side) Anyway I’m getting dressed and the old brass asks if I mind if she takes a p1ss in the bidet, I magnanimously waved her on . After finally getting my shoes back I gets up to go only to find a considerable log lying in the bidet ! I quickly made my excuses and left.
Re: Bog Rolls
That could come from any Mills and Boon novel.AlargeClaret wrote: ↑Sun Mar 15, 2020 7:43 pmIt’s very much a UK or certainly an English issue as most of Europe barely if at all wipe their arrrses . About 20 yrs ago I found myself in a very grotty Parisian brothel after a rather heavy intake of red wine and beer .Anyway I was unable to even get the condom on due to a mix of inebriation and the fetid curtained room ( with a grunting ogre-like performance on the other side) Anyway I’m getting dressed and the old brass asks if I mind if she takes a p1ss in the bidet, I magnanimously waved her on . After finally getting my shoes back I gets up to go only to find a considerable log lying in the bidet ! I quickly made my excuses and left.
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Re: Bog Rolls
Use moss on a stick, like in the good old days!
Re: Bog Rolls
After his performance on the Tottenham game I would second that.Im_not_Robbie_Blake wrote: ↑Sun Mar 15, 2020 7:55 pmUse moss on a stick, like in the good old days!
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