Single, child free and not lonely

[ClaretAndJew]

Anyone else?

I'm 36, never thought about having kids or settling down with one person.

Don't feel lonely either.

Anyone else?

[Steve1956]

Anyone else?

I'm 36, never thought about having kids or settling down with one person.

Don't feel lonely either.

Anyone else?

Are you happy though?

[Steddyman]

Anyone else?

I'm 36, never thought about having kids or settling down with one person.

Don't feel lonely either.

Anyone else?

Perhaps we should ask you again in another 50 years and you are in a care home? My mum has visitors nearly every day, but I see some residents that never see another family member.

[ISpeds00]

Couldn't imagine going through life not having kids if the chance arises

[ClaretAndJew]

Are you happy though?

I’m not unhappy. So I guess, either I’m neutral or I am happy. I don’t really feel like I’m missing out on anything.

I have good friends and socialise often. I have things to occupy my time, hobbies, work.

[ISpeds00]

I’m not unhappy. So I guess, either I’m neutral or I am happy. I don’t really feel like I’m missing out on anything.

I have good friends and socialise often. I have things to occupy my time, hobbies, work.

what made you post the topic?

[ClaretAndJew]

Perhaps we should ask you again in another 50 years and you are in a care home? My mum has visitors nearly every day, but I see some residents that never see another family member.

I’ll be lucky to make it to 86 but I don’t think the reason to have kids should be to have someone to look after you when you’re old.

[Steve1956]

I’m not unhappy. So I guess, either I’m neutral or I am happy. I don’t really feel like I’m missing out on anything.

I have good friends and socialise often. I have things to occupy my time, hobbies, work.

If it suits you that's great,couldn't see myself living like you do though.

[ClaretAndJew]

what made you post the topic?

One of my close friends has recently got his ex girlfriend pregnant and they were not a good couple, toxic, but circumstances and alcohol brought then together to make a baby.

I would hate that situation to happen to me, and it just got me thinking about all of that stuff in general. Kids. Marriage. Settling down with one person.

[Funkydrummer]

It's all very well at your age, but at some point sooner or
later you will in all probability need someone to share your life with.

Not for definite, but more likely than not.

Enjoy yourself whilst you can in the meantime.

[ClaretAndJew]

If it suits you that's great,couldn't see myself living like you do though.

That makes me sound like I’m living in squalor haha. I understand though.

It’s an interesting topic. I suspect most people on here will have kids and or be married/long term partners. Just opening the door to other ways of life.

[Fretters]

I'm 39 with two kids, six and four years old. Our lives are completely dominated by them and they cost a fortune. Me and my wife alternate lie-ins at the weekends, taking it turns to stay in bed till 9am after the other gets up around 6am. It's exhausting and I do sometimes fantasize about the old days when we could do whatever we wanted, when we wanted.

But nope, wouldn't change it for the world! Some extra baby sitting wouldn't go amiss, though.

[ClaretAndJew]

It's all very well at your age, but at some point sooner or
later you will in all probability need someone to share your life with.

Not for definite, but more likely than not.

Enjoy yourself whilst you can in the meantime.

I am cracking on a bit in age though and most people I know have kids or are married or some other long term arrangement.

A lot are also divorced or single parents too.

[bfcjg]

Each to their own. I cherish my children and grandchildren, I have friends similar age who don't have a partner or children and are fine.As long as you have good friends and if you have siblings,nieces nephews etc you should never be lonely.

[BurnleyMickSouth]

Mmmmm thats a strange one,/ In Reply.

im retired, 68 end of this month, no friends as such, no children, due to no tadpoles, medical problem by nature, 250 miles away from Burnley not by choice may i add, i married a southern lass, now divorced since March last year, my ex wife has stopped me seeing our 6yr old grandaughter, due to her poisoning my stepsons mind & daughter-in-law & they have believed everything she has told them without them asking me if anything she said was true, she has not spoken to me in six years, but her divorce letter from her solicitors said she wanted to be amicable, bit late when you took me for everything i had and left me with nothing & sleeping in a car for seven n a half months, because of all the lies she told, so i am here in Surrey, stuck here because of the things she did and said about me, im a very lonley old man, peope here look at you gone out even if its only you saying hello or morning to them, i would not be able to move back north because i live in a nice flat down here but would not get the same back home, so if i had my time again would i have married her ? maybe maybe not,when you are young the worlds your oyster, but when you are old & have no wife, children, family, brothers or sisters, to converse with it hits you very hard, i should know, because thats where i am at the moment, you never know what the future holds, so plz beware, hope this answers your question. Some people on this site know who i am, because of things that have happened to me, but being on your own is a killer, nice flat, yes, nice or close friends sorry NO end of.

[NewClaret]

One of my close friends has recently got his ex girlfriend pregnant and they were not a good couple, toxic, but circumstances and alcohol brought then together to make a baby.

I would hate that situation to happen to me, and it just got me thinking about all of that stuff in general. Kids. Marriage. Settling down with one person.

Oh god. He’s fecked

[GodIsADeeJay81]

So long as you’re happy, it doesn’t matter how you live your life within reason

Society tries to pressure us into being in relationships and having kids, so the majority do and whilst many people can make those relationships work, many can’t and we end up with lots of single mothers and a large number of part time dads, or just dads who don’t bother and bitter single mothers

People are seemingly afraid of being alone so they just bounce from spouse to spouse as a result

It doesn’t help that being single and living alone is generally unaffordable

We also look down at people who do things on their own, whether it’s going out to eat or the cinema alone, over to going on holiday alone

If you don’t want kids, don’t have them, it’s no issue

My auntie never wanted kids and has never had any of her own
She’s loved her best life as a result
She’s on her 2nd marriage and has a step daughter from that, but that’s it

She travels the world for work, has great holidays and spoils her family when she can
(I'm going to see her twice in New York this year)

[claptrappers_union]

I've suddenly noticed my parents are getting old. Now one of my regrets is not having children earlier.

[Kilson810]

I always thought that would be me, until I met the woman who is now my wife. Hoping we will have a few kids of our own over the next few years, which will be hard work, but I can't wait to be a dad.

Everyone is different though, there is no one set recipe for happiness and I am always glad to hear someone else has found theirs

[claptrappers_union]

When I met my partner, kids weren't a serious consideration until one day, she told me she was pregnant. Sadly, we miscarried, and something changed in my partner. She was having children no matter what after that.

After lots of saving up and going on the adventure of IVF treatment in Cyprus, we have 10-year-old twin girls - Quite a change from not being bothered about it.

The whole, ‘not imaging settling down with one person’ and so on… either of us could **** off at any time. I can still do things for myself - if I want, and I don't feel held back by my partner or children; however, I do ‘what I want’ for them now rather than do things for me. I don't feel I'm missing out on anything.

[tarkys_ears]

I duno.

All i'll say is after a heavy tasting tea or something like that, at least I've always got Starmix or something in the house as a pallet cleanser. Also, when did YOU last get to have Oreo cereal for breakfast?

Not for one or the other but that's the way it is.

[Boss Hogg]

Do what’s right for you. There’s no right or wrong. I lived single life to the full and if you want that enjoy it. I used to work with some lads who settled down too young with families and they were desperate for the single life and full of regret. When and if you are ready there’s nothing better than having kids. They make you see life very differently.

[pushpinpussy]

I would argue that if you need to be on a football message board late on a Sunday night, discussing this matter with other sad lonely individuals (who you do not know) then something is probably missing in your life.

[ClaretAndJew]

I would argue that if you need to be on a football message board late on a Sunday night, discussing this matter with other sad lonely individuals (who you do not know) then something is probably missing in your life.

A fairly good place to discuss it I think. And Sunday evening before the week begins is even more appropriate.

[CoolClaret]

I would argue that if you need to be on a football message board late on a Sunday night, discussing this matter with other sad lonely individuals (who you do not know) then something is probably missing in your life.

Be decent if you posted something for once that wasn't derogatory to anyone that posts on this messageboard

[Super Teds]

I’m a couple of years older, no kids and absolutely no desire to have them. I couldn’t think of anything worse. I love travelling a lot and living as I please. I can understand why some people have kids but if you don’t want them, and you acknowledge this fact, it’s very liberating.

[Quicknick]

I had enough of kids as a teacher. Happy not to have produced. Had a great life: travel, both backpacking and by motorbike; lived and worked in Tokyo; lived in Portugal and Thailand. Just signed a publishing deal for three crime novels set in Tokyo that I couldn't have written if I hadn't experienced them, as it were. Lived with four women, the current one, a Thai/Chinese arguably the best. Certainly a calmer disposition to the confrontational French lass I was with for years in London. If I had to go back and do it all again, I'd do nothing differently.

[jrgbfc]

I always thought I wanted kids, but the way the world seems to have gone I'm honestly not that sure now. With kids addicted to social media, vapes, drugs everywhere it must be an absolute nightmare.

[Stalbansclaret]

I have two kids, now adults, and would not change that for the world. They are brilliant people and I love them and love spending time with them.
However I will admit I never wanted to have kids …I actively dislike the way they completely take over your life and the level of anxiety and “competitive parenting” that inevitably seems to arise . I’d also rather watch The Godfather than The Lion King when I get home from work .
To cut a long story short having had kids in an effort to keep my wife happy we subsequently divorced as , despite trying, I just couldn’t be happy in the environment which was created. Gave her pretty much everything I had, paid hefty maintenance for years and tried to be as loving a parent as I could whilst living day to day in my own space. I think we brought our kids up well ..both got first class degrees and now in good jobs and happy …. and my ex is remarried and we get on fine.
I realise this probably makes me sound selfish and maybe weird to some but I just wasn’t cut out for the nuclear family life . I’ve had long-term relationships since but no more children. Currently live alone with girlfriend an hour’s drive away. Kids work and live at a distance (my son is visiting me right now) . I’m happy .
Do what makes you happy whilst being kind to other people.

[Nori1958]

I’m a couple of years older, no kids and absolutely no desire to have them. I couldn’t think of anything worse. I love travelling a lot and living as I please. I can understand why some people have kids but if you don’t want them, and you acknowledge this fact, it’s very liberating.

It's each to their own, and not for others to judge, I have several friends who have never married or had kids and are very happy.
Personally I would hate not to have had children and grandchildren, I've still been able to travel anywhere I've wanted and done most things I've wanted to. I count myself very fortunate

[Quicknick]

I have two kids, now adults, and would not change that for the world. They are brilliant people and I love them and love spending time with them.
However I will admit I never wanted to have kids …I actively dislike the way they completely take over your life and the level of anxiety and “competitive parenting” that inevitably seems to arise . I’d also rather watch The Godfather than The Lion King when I get home from work .
To cut a long story short having had kids in an effort to keep my wife happy we subsequently divorced as , despite trying, I just couldn’t be happy in the environment which was created. Gave her pretty much everything I had, paid hefty maintenance for years and tried to be as loving a parent as I could whilst living day to day in my own space. I think we brought our kids up well ..both got first class degrees and now in good jobs and happy …. and my ex is remarried and we get on fine.
I realise this probably makes me sound selfish and maybe weird to some but I just wasn’t cut out for the nuclear family life . I’ve had long-term relationships since but no more children. Currently live alone with girlfriend an hour’s drive away. Kids work and live at a distance (my son is visiting me right now) . I’m happy .
Do what makes you happy whilst being kind to other people.

That's a great post. It's what would have happened to me if I'd taken your route.

[beddie]

ClaretandJew. I think the main thing is as long as you’re happy then that’s absolutely fine. Life is far too short anyway so make sure you enjoy every moment.

[Super Teds]

It's each to their own, and not for others to judge, I have several friends who have never married or had kids and are very happy.
Personally I would hate not to have had children and grandchildren, I've still been able to travel anywhere I've wanted and done most things I've wanted to. I count myself very fortunate

Totally agree. I also count myself fortunate not to want kids but obviously it depends on the individual, everyone is different. I’ve grown up pretty independent without close family ties so maybe that has played a part. For me the question has always been not why don’t you want kids but why do you want kids.

[Bosscat]

I would argue that if you need to be on a football message board late on a Sunday night, discussing this matter with other sad lonely individuals (who you do not know) then something is probably missing in your life.

And you complain about folk bullying you

What a weapon you are

[Clovius Boofus]

Perhaps we should ask you again in another 50 years and you are in a care home? My mum has visitors nearly every day, but I see some residents that never see another family member.

Your mum is most fortunate. The world has changed. For those having children today, the chances of those kids, never mind any grandchildren, living in the same town or indeed country, will have somewhat diminished by the time they are adults. The days when generations of extended families lived only a couple streets away from each other have gone.

[claretonthecoast1882]

I would argue that if you need to be on a football message board late on a Sunday night, discussing this matter with other sad lonely individuals (who you do not know) then something is probably missing in your life.

How would you sum up someone who pretends to be a solicitor on a football messageboard ?

[Steve1956]

How would you sum up someone who pretends to be a solicitor on a football messageboard ?

It's best to just ignore this troublemaker....he will go away eventually.

[Dyched]

Never understood why people change what they do because of children. I’d hate that. When we start our family we’ve made the decision that the kid does what we want to do as well as what it does. Walks, no tv night (records/games). Cinema nights, bowling, travelling, camping. Not spending to much time on ipads etc etc. There’s so many things that we as adults do what kids also really enjoy.

[sjb]

Never had kids, never wanted kids. Each to their own but both Mrs SJB & I definitely didn't want any. Lots of our friends have them and having observed them we are glad we made the decision.

[Big Vinny K]

I would argue that if you need to be on a football message board late on a Sunday night, discussing this matter with other sad lonely individuals (who you do not know) then something is probably missing in your life.

You really are the worst of everything and everyone on this board.

[Rileybobs]

Never understood why people change what they do because of children. I’d hate that. When we start our family we’ve made the decision that the kid does what we want to do as well as what it does. Walks, no tv night (records/games). Cinema nights, bowling, travelling, camping. Not spending to much time on ipads etc etc. There’s so many things that we as adults do what kids also really enjoy.

Good luck getting a two year old to sit through Scorcese’s latest flick

[Croydon Claret]

I find that it's a real conversation killer when you meet people and they ask how old your kids are.

Some people genuinely have no follow up topics and look at you with bitter disappointment and want to get away quickly (To be fair that happens most of the time anyway )

[Tribesmen]

ClaretandJew. I think the main thing is as long as you’re happy then that’s absolutely fine. Life is far too short anyway so make sure you enjoy every moment.

Top reply i must say .

[ŽižkovClaret]

Anyone else?

I'm 36, never thought about having kids or settling down with one person.

Don't feel lonely either.

Anyone else?

Same. I mean do you think i'd get away with flying over to the Turf as much if i wasnt?

[ŽižkovClaret]

Perhaps we should ask you again in another 50 years and you are in a care home? My mum has visitors nearly every day, but I see some residents that never see another family member.

Sod that, i'll be chewing on the business end of a 12 gauge before i get that way

[ŽižkovClaret]

Couldn't imagine going through life not having kids if the chance arises

Each to their own. To some kids are the reason to live, to me, having a kid would be like clamping my own car.

[Funkydrummer]

Never understood why people change what they do because of children. I’d hate that. When we start our family we’ve made the decision that the kid does what we want to do as well as what it does. Walks, no tv night (records/games). Cinema nights, bowling, travelling, camping. Not spending to much time on ipads etc etc. There’s so many things that we as adults do what kids also really enjoy.

Good luck with that one.

Ever considered what state you will both be in ? Give it some thought, please.

[ŽižkovClaret]

How would you sum up someone who pretends to be a solicitor on a football messageboard ?

Legally Bland

[CoolClaret]

Sod that, i'll be chewing on the business end of a 12 gauge before i get that way

Man after my own heart.

[Bosscat]

Legally Bland

Now thats one I wish I had thought of