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distortiondave

I've started this before and then forgotten about it during the season. Is there a penalty for repeat offenders or can I rejoin?
I'd "hate" to have to show my arse in burtons window, for example.

distortiondave

If no one else will then let me present;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcS3NOQnsQM

Th'elements.

First ever rap song (citation needed).

distortiondave

Oh no, I was only thinking of him the other day when I was poisoning pigeons in the park

distortiondave

I thought the rules were to count up from ace to king, rather than trying to bluff the cards.
If you're allowed to know what cards have already been drawn before declaring a card then that changes everything.

distortiondave

Quick edit so no one notices I'm a moron

distortiondave

I get it at its most basic level;
Goal; keeper saves and its a corner; keeper saves and its held; player hits wide and its a goalkick; - what's the proposed protocol for hitting the woodwork or keeper saving it a long distance and rebounding back into play?

distortiondave

Oh, I can't wait to read that!

distortiondave

There's a big upturn during our fall and rise through the leagues, as is to be expected, but I bet half of our 2020 debuts are Kompany signings.

distortiondave

Thanks all, plenty to go at here.
I'm actually a few chapters deep into A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian, and whilst its not laugh out loud funny (yet, at least) it's drawn a few smiles and the subject matter has potential.

distortiondave

Dele Adebola

distortiondave

Do you say Yes to everything now, Fretters? Surely not!

distortiondave

This Cifuestes bloke was placed on 'gardening leave' after we beat them 5-0 at their place last season.

Does that count as 'being sacked after playing Burnley'? for those who keep track of such things?

distortiondave

I thought both Bob Mortimer novels were very funny. If you like Bob’s humour then you would like his books I do like Bob Mortimer, but is his novel humour as ridiculous as he is? I've seen him on WILTY and it's outrageously funny, but a book like that would probably be too much to also be an engagi...

distortiondave

Any suggestions? I don't think I've ever read a funny book. A line or two may have made me laugh, but I'm looking for a fictional novel (as opposed to a biography or similar) that is deliberately intended to be funny. Comedy is obviously subjective, which makes it difficult, hence why I'm asking nor...

distortiondave

You would not be alone, I would have him back too. These are Ipswich stats with and without Muric, despite how much the fans attack him: * With Muric - 18 appearances * 12 points * 6 draws * 33 conceeded * 3 wins * Without Muric 20 games * 10 points * 4 draws * 49 conceeded * 2 wins So they were fa...

distortiondave

I don't know if it's been mentioned on here already, but I understand the stumbling block is Citehs 20% sell on clause.it means unless we get a really god price for him we'll be gaining nothing, or very little. 30 mill to Newcastle would only be 24 to us. Considering his last season and his regular...

distortiondave

I've seen them four times now, Saturday gone being the most recent, and it was the best they've been. Some of that will be the set list for sure - I'm a fan, but I'm not a fanatic, so I'm not bothered about post 2000 stuff but love my 80's stuff, in particular the Bruce era - which is what this tour...

distortiondave

Back in the day my dad used to drink in the dressers club in Nelson and women were only allowed in on Christmas day. A chap called werty beets used to bring his pet ferret in much to the chagrin of the regulars, but there was nothing in the rules to deny a ferret - no dogs, cats or pigeons, but noth...

distortiondave

Lesser spotted Beamish with a cracker.

There's four of me going to West Ham on Saturday. I've never been to West Ham before, so this is a prelude to 4 more of me going to watch Metallica there next year. Metal up yer ass, as they say.

distortiondave

Matt Turner isn't an experienced goalkeeper though. He's played 17 Premier League games which is 11 fewer than both Muric and Trafford.

distortiondave

I know there's a few old school metallers on here, so any Clarets doing it over the next couple of weeks?

distortiondave

I don't know enough about it, so are WSL and WSL2 teams all professional, and what league are our ladies in?

distortiondave

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UEFA_Nations_League Cheers, yeah. I thought asking in what is supposed to be a bit of an online community whilst the final of the competition is in progress might lead to conversation about it, but you're right, I can just google it and avoid all interaction entirely.

distortiondave

Vegas Claret wrote: ↑
Sun Jun 08, 2025 10:45 pm
well deserved win, pleased Spain didn't win yet again

Yeah, but what's the prize? My question farther up wasn't rhetorical, I honestly don't know what the material reward for winning this is.

distortiondave

Isn't England's next game a friendly?

distortiondave

distortiondave

What's the point of this competition again? Do you get a bye to the Euro's or something?

distortiondave

Have Sunderland changed their badge?

distortiondave

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HpjIjvYv7Y

I'd be disappointed if a Burnley goal is ruled out for that.

distortiondave

A closed shop would never happen due to anti-competition laws. Plus the outcry would be so great it would soon collapse. Remember a few years ago when the European superleague was proposed supporters of the big clubs we very much against it. The Super League was proposed in such a way that it was c...

distortiondave

Tall Paul wrote: ↑
Sat May 24, 2025 11:11 am
How long do you want it? I'm on both teams to get a red card at 70/1. Happened when they played each other earlier in the season.

Well, I'm a little over £200 down this season, so 20/1 at least, but I'll happily do two fivers at 50/1+ or something.

distortiondave

I've a tenner left that I forgot to use during the Europa League Final.
Any reasonable long shots to take a punt on? I don't know the players for either side well enough to know who gets booked all the time or who is often offside etc.

distortiondave

According to the same website, so too has Cunha at Wolves, Mitoma at Brighton, Watkins at Villa, and Oliver Glasner has resigned from Crystal Palace due to intense criticism, despite just winning the FA Cup. https://manutdfcblog.com/2025/05/22/exclusive-wolverhampton-wanderers-f-c-star-matheus-cunha...

distortiondave

Have Spurs now had a better season than Arsenal? They've both qualified for the Champions League, Arsenal finished 2nd, but Spurs have actually won something....

distortiondave

Pickles wrote: ↑
Wed May 21, 2025 9:46 pm
This has been dire from start to finish.

It's not been that good!

distortiondave

Lot to be said for a keeper who can catch and save the ball.

distortiondave

I don't really follow much of the narrative around Premier League managers, so I couldn't really tell you who is good, bad or lucky. Russell Martin sacked by Southampton - does he win the league with Liverpool? Ten Haag sacked by Man Utd, does he keep Ipswich up? I'm pretty certain neither Ange nor ...

distortiondave

One of the worst goals ever to grace a cup final between two of the worst teams to play in a cup final. I suppose hoping for a thunderbastard into the top corner was hoping for too much!

distortiondave

I can't stand Bruno Fernandes.

distortiondave

God knows what this will end up being. 0-0 with everyone missing in the penalty shoot out or a goal every five minutes, could go either way. Hoping for Spurs because I prefer watching Man Utd suffer than succeed, but I think Man Utd will probably win it. I've saved a tenner from my poor return with ...

distortiondave

I think it's fair, as far as fair goes in the mad world of football finance. You might be able to downgrade to a few very good but not quite that good players for a load more money - Martinelli, Saka, Foden, Isak - and they will give you something long term, but in current ability I'm not sure you c...

distortiondave

Silva is going down before that tackle comes in. It's a proper dive.

distortiondave

Dunno. More than once but less than a hundred.

distortiondave

I can't recall a Burnley keeper picking up a back pass since the law was changed 30 odd years ago. Anyone done it?

distortiondave

The biggest farce is when the on-field ref gives a yellow card, VAR says to check it and it gets upgraded to a red card, only for a panel to overturn it three days later.

distortiondave

Yeah, lovely. I particularly like the bit where he got a camera crew to follow him round, that was a nice touch. It wouldn't have meant as much if it wasn't being filmed, so I'm pleased the whole world got to see how selfless and genuine the whole thing was. Lovely.

distortiondave

How many teams have played at Wembley (old or new) whilst in each of the top four divisions?

distortiondave

Fact; the illuminati is now in Colne https://scontent-man2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/480179390_122112480902715643_2775899252201445755_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s640x640_tt6&_nc_cat=107&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=833d8c&_nc_ohc=QyPsB_s0lQkQ7kNvwHvyOd5&_nc_oc=Adk7dS8BO3TZlwYsFazIM0n59ytrVV17d9O3qxA1dtPWZGAhrL8RW6JODd...

distortiondave

Sounds French. Wouldn't bother.

distortiondave

I put a cheeky fiver (well, more like £3.87 to bring my account balance to 0) on Bristol City to win the tie tonight from this seasons winnings at 50/1. Could be a sending off in the first 5 minutes or something, you never know. Anyway, I've just looked again now on Skybet, and I can't find in play ...

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