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distortiondave

Dyche in by Christmas?

distortiondave

Imagine selling your soul to whatever Hill Dickinson is. It's such a shame that this happened both for the club and the sponsor that has powered Everton towards the level of irrelevancy that they probably deserve these days.

distortiondave

dougcollins wrote: ↑
Mon Sep 29, 2025 8:43 pm
Thanks.

I'd erased the actual game from my memory.

It was game 19, I think. 19 without a win, then we hammered Plymouth midweek.

distortiondave

My view of the Crucifier has actually softened over the years. He had us doing well for half a season twice, and had the rugged pulled out from under him a couple of times. But there was a mania behind those eyes that I just could not support or get behind. He wasn't one for handling stress.

distortiondave

dougcollins wrote: ↑
Mon Sep 29, 2025 7:08 pm
Bloody hell John, next time you can't sleep I'll supply you some of the games here at TM. We spent one game betting on a crisp packet being blown by the wind.

But like you, I wish him nothing but the best.

Luton. So forgettable it became memorable.

distortiondave

Yellow 5
Pink 3
Mauve 4
Blue 7
Orange 3
Red 5
Brown 2
Green 4

33 in total.

If I win, instead of the 10 points please can I have the smarties?

distortiondave

Some interesting comments on here. I wonder what the prevailing view would be if it were BFC who had been leading at home - especially against one of the “bigger” clubs when the match was abandoned with 10 minutes to play. In the absence of a binding precedent, which seems to be the case, I’m sure ...

distortiondave

Was the Great Flood of 2005(?) against Leicester called off at half time, or before?
I've never been wetter than I was that day.

distortiondave

Its got to be full match replay. I could possibly maybe potentially see a justification for playing 45 minutes if a match was abandoned at half time, but you can't open a stadium, pay for police, have away fans, ipswich travel costs etc etc for 10 minutes of game time. It's not like it's the knock o...

distortiondave

I don't want to lower the tone here, but... https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61x9NsZp3GL._SL1360_.jpg https://www.amazon.co.uk/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041/ref=sr_1_1?crid=I1F9T1ZMG0VV&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.TJsnkmiM9cKy2glY_w1dyggYxFkAXrK98xoowH16eQDLDEPLdPBvLLz-n8f7Oc...

distortiondave

This is going to be called off if the weather keeps up like this.

distortiondave

Chelsea keeper sent off after 4 minutes.

distortiondave

yTib wrote: ↑
Sat Sep 20, 2025 5:26 pm
the biggest bobbya morrish bunch of clapping tourist windbaggers since sa8 and greavsy

distortiondave

Does the red card still count?

distortiondave

When I was about 25 I went to Boundary Mill with my girlfriend at the time. After about an hour I went and sat on one of the benches they have/had near the front of the shop next to an old chap. He asked me 'how long have you been in here then lad?' 'About an hour', I said, to which he replied, 'You...

distortiondave

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnXtuktNdlM My dad loved all of the goons and introduced me to them, and this sketch in particular regularly has me howling with laughter. It's not even that funny, but the idea that a busy body foreign policeman type has time to pet a dog, ask as to the dog's intenti...

distortiondave

I've started this before and then forgotten about it during the season. Is there a penalty for repeat offenders or can I rejoin?
I'd "hate" to have to show my arse in burtons window, for example.

distortiondave

If no one else will then let me present;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcS3NOQnsQM

Th'elements.

First ever rap song (citation needed).

distortiondave

Oh no, I was only thinking of him the other day when I was poisoning pigeons in the park

distortiondave

I thought the rules were to count up from ace to king, rather than trying to bluff the cards.
If you're allowed to know what cards have already been drawn before declaring a card then that changes everything.

distortiondave

Quick edit so no one notices I'm a moron

distortiondave

I get it at its most basic level;
Goal; keeper saves and its a corner; keeper saves and its held; player hits wide and its a goalkick; - what's the proposed protocol for hitting the woodwork or keeper saving it a long distance and rebounding back into play?

distortiondave

Oh, I can't wait to read that!

distortiondave

There's a big upturn during our fall and rise through the leagues, as is to be expected, but I bet half of our 2020 debuts are Kompany signings.

distortiondave

Thanks all, plenty to go at here.
I'm actually a few chapters deep into A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian, and whilst its not laugh out loud funny (yet, at least) it's drawn a few smiles and the subject matter has potential.

distortiondave

Dele Adebola

distortiondave

Do you say Yes to everything now, Fretters? Surely not!

distortiondave

This Cifuestes bloke was placed on 'gardening leave' after we beat them 5-0 at their place last season.

Does that count as 'being sacked after playing Burnley'? for those who keep track of such things?

distortiondave

I thought both Bob Mortimer novels were very funny. If you like Bob’s humour then you would like his books I do like Bob Mortimer, but is his novel humour as ridiculous as he is? I've seen him on WILTY and it's outrageously funny, but a book like that would probably be too much to also be an engagi...

distortiondave

Any suggestions? I don't think I've ever read a funny book. A line or two may have made me laugh, but I'm looking for a fictional novel (as opposed to a biography or similar) that is deliberately intended to be funny. Comedy is obviously subjective, which makes it difficult, hence why I'm asking nor...

distortiondave

You would not be alone, I would have him back too. These are Ipswich stats with and without Muric, despite how much the fans attack him: * With Muric - 18 appearances * 12 points * 6 draws * 33 conceeded * 3 wins * Without Muric 20 games * 10 points * 4 draws * 49 conceeded * 2 wins So they were fa...

distortiondave

I don't know if it's been mentioned on here already, but I understand the stumbling block is Citehs 20% sell on clause.it means unless we get a really god price for him we'll be gaining nothing, or very little. 30 mill to Newcastle would only be 24 to us. Considering his last season and his regular...

distortiondave

I've seen them four times now, Saturday gone being the most recent, and it was the best they've been. Some of that will be the set list for sure - I'm a fan, but I'm not a fanatic, so I'm not bothered about post 2000 stuff but love my 80's stuff, in particular the Bruce era - which is what this tour...

distortiondave

Back in the day my dad used to drink in the dressers club in Nelson and women were only allowed in on Christmas day. A chap called werty beets used to bring his pet ferret in much to the chagrin of the regulars, but there was nothing in the rules to deny a ferret - no dogs, cats or pigeons, but noth...

distortiondave

Lesser spotted Beamish with a cracker.

There's four of me going to West Ham on Saturday. I've never been to West Ham before, so this is a prelude to 4 more of me going to watch Metallica there next year. Metal up yer ass, as they say.

distortiondave

Matt Turner isn't an experienced goalkeeper though. He's played 17 Premier League games which is 11 fewer than both Muric and Trafford.

distortiondave

I know there's a few old school metallers on here, so any Clarets doing it over the next couple of weeks?

distortiondave

I don't know enough about it, so are WSL and WSL2 teams all professional, and what league are our ladies in?

distortiondave

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UEFA_Nations_League Cheers, yeah. I thought asking in what is supposed to be a bit of an online community whilst the final of the competition is in progress might lead to conversation about it, but you're right, I can just google it and avoid all interaction entirely.

distortiondave

Vegas Claret wrote: ↑
Sun Jun 08, 2025 10:45 pm
well deserved win, pleased Spain didn't win yet again

Yeah, but what's the prize? My question farther up wasn't rhetorical, I honestly don't know what the material reward for winning this is.

distortiondave

Isn't England's next game a friendly?

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distortiondave

What's the point of this competition again? Do you get a bye to the Euro's or something?

distortiondave

Have Sunderland changed their badge?

distortiondave

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HpjIjvYv7Y

I'd be disappointed if a Burnley goal is ruled out for that.

distortiondave

A closed shop would never happen due to anti-competition laws. Plus the outcry would be so great it would soon collapse. Remember a few years ago when the European superleague was proposed supporters of the big clubs we very much against it. The Super League was proposed in such a way that it was c...

distortiondave

Tall Paul wrote: ↑
Sat May 24, 2025 11:11 am
How long do you want it? I'm on both teams to get a red card at 70/1. Happened when they played each other earlier in the season.

Well, I'm a little over £200 down this season, so 20/1 at least, but I'll happily do two fivers at 50/1+ or something.

distortiondave

I've a tenner left that I forgot to use during the Europa League Final.
Any reasonable long shots to take a punt on? I don't know the players for either side well enough to know who gets booked all the time or who is often offside etc.

distortiondave

According to the same website, so too has Cunha at Wolves, Mitoma at Brighton, Watkins at Villa, and Oliver Glasner has resigned from Crystal Palace due to intense criticism, despite just winning the FA Cup. https://manutdfcblog.com/2025/05/22/exclusive-wolverhampton-wanderers-f-c-star-matheus-cunha...

distortiondave

Have Spurs now had a better season than Arsenal? They've both qualified for the Champions League, Arsenal finished 2nd, but Spurs have actually won something....

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