Daft pictures or jokes

cbx750 · Post by **cbx750** » Sat Sep 28, 2024 8:29 am

Taffy on the wing wrote: ↑
Sat Sep 28, 2024 3:26 am
Please explain why this is funny.....i got it from my FPL feed t'other day.
just don't get it.

https://youtu.be/VTFSBJaCXD8?si=qMK-aG5resKuEX27

Bosscat · Post by **Bosscat** » Sat Sep 28, 2024 8:32 am

Taffy on the wing wrote: ↑
Sat Sep 28, 2024 3:26 am
Please explain why this is funny.....i got it from my FPL feed t'other day.
just don't get it.

Obviously you don't keep up with The papers and news

"Release the sausages" speech

jtv · Post by **jtv** » Sat Sep 28, 2024 10:03 am

Three couples are trying to get married at the same church. There is a young couple, a middle-aged couple, and an elderly couple. The three couples meet with the priest and discuss when they can get married.
"If you wish to get married in my church, you must all go one month without having sex," says the priest.
One month later the three couples return to the church and talk to the priest. He then asks the elderly couple, "Have you completed the month without sex?"
"Yes we have, it was easy," replies the elderly couple.
"How about you?" He asks the middle-aged couple.
"It was hard, but we didn't have sex for the whole month," they respond.
"And how about you two?" He asks the young couple.
"No we could only do it for twenty five days." responds the boyfriend.
"Tell me why," says the priest.
"Well my girlfriend had a can of corn in her hand and she accidentally dropped it. She bent over to pick it up and that's when it happened."
The priest then tells them, "You're not welcome in my church."
"We're not welcome in the supermarket either," says the boyfriend.

PS I sent the joke to my nephew and he asked "they fu**ed in supermarket?" And I replied "only a Lidl"

IanMcL · Post by **IanMcL** » Sat Sep 28, 2024 2:37 pm

jtv wrote: ↑
Sat Sep 28, 2024 10:03 am

PS I sent the joke to my nephew and he asked "they fu**ed in supermarket?" And I replied "only a Lidl"

Every lidl helps!

Taffy on the wing · Post by **Taffy on the wing** » Sat Sep 28, 2024 3:12 pm

cbx750 wrote: ↑
Sat Sep 28, 2024 8:29 am
https://youtu.be/VTFSBJaCXD8?si=qMK-aG5resKuEX27

Thank you.....hilarious!

Rick_Muller · Post by **Rick_Muller** » Sat Sep 28, 2024 10:55 pm

Taffy on the wing wrote: ↑
Sat Sep 28, 2024 3:26 am
Please explain why this is funny.....i got it from my FPL feed t'other day.
just don't get it.

Kier Starmer said sausages instead of hostages in his speech the other day when he got a little tongue tied

Taffy on the wing · Post by **Taffy on the wing** » Mon Sep 30, 2024 2:47 am

Rick_Muller wrote: ↑
Sat Sep 28, 2024 10:55 pm
Kier Starmer said sausages instead of hostages in his speech the other day when he got a little tongue tied

Thanks...... someone posted a link to it on the thread......it's a funny one.

Bosscat · Post by **Bosscat** » Mon Sep 30, 2024 6:37 pm

Erik Ten Hag walks into a bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, Ms could you please cash this cheque for me?"

Cashier:"It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?"

Ten Hag:"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Erik ten Hag, Manager of Manchester United”.

Cashier: "Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."

Ten Hag: Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."

Cashier: "I am sorry, Mr Hag but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."

Ten Hag:"Come on please, I am urging you, please cash this cheque."

Cashier: "Look sir, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque."

"Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you?"

Erik stands there thinking and thinking and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I don't have a clue."

Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes , Mr Ten Hag?”

IanMcL · Post by **IanMcL** » Tue Oct 01, 2024 12:06 am

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/mfK4Q9gXuYcu3SRa/

Cartoon of old lady...

Bosscat · Post by **Bosscat** » Tue Oct 01, 2024 9:01 am

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Tricky Trevor · Post by **Tricky Trevor** » Fri Oct 04, 2024 11:37 pm

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Rick_Muller · Post by **Rick_Muller** » Tue Oct 08, 2024 7:51 am

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Bosscat · Post by **Bosscat** » Tue Oct 08, 2024 4:24 pm

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Bosscat · Post by **Bosscat** » Tue Oct 08, 2024 4:25 pm

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Tricky Trevor · Post by **Tricky Trevor** » Sat Oct 12, 2024 9:41 pm

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cbx750 · Post by **cbx750** » Tue Oct 22, 2024 9:21 am

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HahaYeah · Post by **HahaYeah** » Tue Oct 22, 2024 9:41 am

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ClaretCliff · Post by **ClaretCliff** » Wed Oct 30, 2024 10:29 am

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cbx750 · Post by **cbx750** » Sat Nov 09, 2024 7:17 pm

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Bosscat · Post by **Bosscat** » Sun Nov 10, 2024 9:08 am

*** Advice needed!! ***
My grandchildren keep finding the Christmas presents that I’ve hidden around the house... someone suggested I put them up in the loft so I did that last night.....

I literally got no sleep because all I could hear was them crying and moaning about spiders, the dark and wanting to be let back down

any other suggestions please??

HahaYeah · Post by **HahaYeah** » Sun Nov 10, 2024 11:00 am

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cbx750 · Post by **cbx750** » Thu Nov 14, 2024 2:24 pm

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Tricky Trevor · Post by **Tricky Trevor** » Sun Nov 17, 2024 2:30 pm

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Rick_Muller · Post by **Rick_Muller** » Wed Nov 20, 2024 6:51 pm

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Tricky Trevor · Post by **Tricky Trevor** » Thu Nov 21, 2024 12:19 am

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Bosscat · Post by **Bosscat** » Mon Dec 02, 2024 4:36 pm

Rovers fan ????????

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Claret Till I Die · Post by **Claret Till I Die** » Mon Dec 02, 2024 4:37 pm

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HahaYeah · Post by **HahaYeah** » Thu Dec 05, 2024 2:55 pm

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Bosscat · Post by **Bosscat** » Mon Dec 16, 2024 12:50 pm

Found some serious leeks today one in the kitchen, one under the sink and one in the bathroom

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IanMcL · Post by **IanMcL** » Mon Dec 16, 2024 3:38 pm

Bosscat wrote: ↑
Mon Dec 16, 2024 12:50 pm
Found some serious leeks today one in the kitchen, one under the sink and one in the bathroom
Ge1xt-GXkAEGP5O.jpgbathroom-15.jpg

Must have brought tears to your eyes!

Bosscat · Post by **Bosscat** » Mon Dec 23, 2024 7:12 pm

Looks like the Bishop of Liverpool has really upset Jabba The Hutt.

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Poulton-le-Claret · Post by **Poulton-le-Claret** » Sat Dec 28, 2024 5:24 pm

eastanglianclaret · Post by **eastanglianclaret** » Sat Dec 28, 2024 6:23 pm

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KateR · Post by **KateR** » Sat Dec 28, 2024 8:28 pm

eastanglianclaret · Post by **eastanglianclaret** » Fri Jan 10, 2025 7:35 am

Received from a Spurs supporting mate after their recent win over Liverpool. Made me giggle!

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Vincent'sCap · Post by **Vincent'sCap** » Fri Jan 10, 2025 4:07 pm

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Tricky Trevor · Post by **Tricky Trevor** » Sat Jan 18, 2025 11:04 pm

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Tricky Trevor · Post by **Tricky Trevor** » Thu Jan 23, 2025 6:26 pm

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HahaYeah · Post by **HahaYeah** » Thu Jan 23, 2025 7:03 pm

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Tricky Trevor · Post by **Tricky Trevor** » Thu Jan 23, 2025 10:19 pm

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Tricky Trevor · Post by **Tricky Trevor** » Fri Jan 24, 2025 9:20 am

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cbx750 · Post by **cbx750** » Sat Jan 25, 2025 1:01 pm

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Gerry Hattrick · Post by **Gerry Hattrick** » Sat Jan 25, 2025 10:36 pm

Vintage Claret · Post by **Vintage Claret** » Sun Jan 26, 2025 9:01 am

A man tells his Doctor "I think I'm going deaf"
Doctor says "can you describe the symptoms?"
Man says "well I know Homer is bald and Marge has blue hair"

cbx750 · Post by **cbx750** » Thu Feb 06, 2025 4:46 pm

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cbx750 · Post by **cbx750** » Fri Feb 14, 2025 11:28 am

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Tricky Trevor · Post by **Tricky Trevor** » Sat Feb 22, 2025 5:06 pm

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Claret Till I Die · Post by **Claret Till I Die** » Sun Feb 23, 2025 12:45 am

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eastanglianclaret · Post by **eastanglianclaret** » Wed Feb 26, 2025 12:14 pm

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IanMcL · Post by **IanMcL** » Thu Feb 27, 2025 8:37 pm

My partner just showed me this one.

Two eggs in a saucepan being boiled.

One says to the other, "I have a large crack".

The other one replies, "Stop teasing me. I am not hard yet!"