Beat the Edinburgh Fringe Perrier Award

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Tue Aug 17, 2021 12:13 am

Taliban break into an abandoned house and they find a record by Sham 69 and they put it on the old player and they like it and the say to themselves let's change the lyrics and they agree on:

Koran
Koran
Curry up
Shariff Camel

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Tue Aug 17, 2021 12:24 am

We're going down the Mosque
Ohhhhhhh Ohhhhh

We're going down the Mosque

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Tue Aug 17, 2021 12:36 am

The Arab Tourist Board are getting excited about the change of regime in Afghanistan so they plan a Taliban media campaign and they've hired Omar to sell them Dubia Do Buy Do.

It's almost the same as Dooby Do but they don't have the ear to tell the difference so it works as the same:

https://youtu.be/iaKw0QaY5WE

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Tue Aug 17, 2021 1:24 am

Woke up this morning
Got up and walked
Down the street...

...Instead of
Somersaulting.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Tue Aug 17, 2021 1:25 am

God I'm boring.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Tue Aug 17, 2021 1:56 am

"I had a Taliban dream... (cheers)
And it was Black people...
IN. A. COMMUNITY HALL...
Playing scrabble.

And grooving to Omar!!!!!! (cheers and standing ovation).

CaptainKirk · Post by **CaptainKirk** » Tue Aug 17, 2021 9:31 am

Pstotto wrote: ↑
Tue Aug 17, 2021 1:25 am
God I'm boring.

At least we agree on something.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 5:39 pm

You mean like Outer Space and seeing stars and nebulas and stuff from the deck?

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 5:40 pm

I presume that's your idea of boring, standing there for millions of years and standing next to Spok all day.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 5:41 pm

And you only think in terms of your paradigm model of boring.

If the room is dark then everything you see is black.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 5:42 pm

(off stage after the performance)

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 5:43 pm

In his dreams...

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 7:45 pm

I'm not a big bloke so I think petite women are a natural mate.

You see one and they're with a bloke 6 foot 3 and what would be then the mate for someone 5 foot 8?

It's the After Shrek Effect where Western values go back to a Ancient tribal culture where the cultural model is internal damage for girls to get them ready for childhood as a primitive dialectic to female circumcision, so that after total damage and complete wreckage in all ways, they're now ready to settle down.

... And that's just the petite ones.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 8:04 pm

New Disney movie, Sheherer's Harder...

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 8:07 pm

I'd hate to see my Cars movie... Born a Ferrari Formula 1 car in Nelson and your first race is Demolition Derby to train you up for the San Marino Grand Prix in 40 years time fter they've all gone electric.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 8:10 pm

Tyson Fury is a traitor to his gypsy roots...

Otherwise after each boxing round, his trainer would see he gets a complete going over battering to get him further toughened up for then next round.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 8:12 pm

Desperate Dan agrees and so so does Korky.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 8:16 pm

...Alex Ferguson?

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 8:17 pm

Rob Keane?

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 8:18 pm

Lizzie dripping?

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 8:31 pm

Tyson Fury is reliving his childhood and he's having a fight with another kid and after a few minutes they stop and someone gives him some cream.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 8:33 pm

Vaseline?

Aclaret · Post by **Aclaret** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 8:37 pm

Are you going away for your holidays this summer Pstotto ?

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 8:37 pm

Bomber Harris is doing Dresden and the command goes out "No, stop a minute and drop cream."

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 8:38 pm

Russian Roulette War

One bullet one cream.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 8:42 pm

H.M.S. Victory, Right one cannonball fire, fire Dixon Waste Cotton Shoddy Lenor, now Right one cannonball fire.

Good War Bad War.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 9:01 pm

They've finally found a way to replace rubber in golf balls to create the ping and its the found remains of bubble gum in the deceased of those born after 1955.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 9:12 pm

"It was a state plan, the Oyster Golf Humans were introduced to Golf Ball bubble gum, 60 for 15p in 1972 to drop off in the next century with the additional plastic when ripe for harvesting of the organic golf ball in the stomach."

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 9:18 pm

"They worked it out, Golf Ball bubble gum to bottle water."

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 9:25 pm

Meanwhile in Japan, they're examining chickens for A.I. and post-humanism after studying thousands of dog owners collecting dog waste in plastic bags in tandem with the way eggs are made by chickens.

First introduce mankind to excrement in a plastic container and then "Have you thought' about self-development?"

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 9:46 pm

Bully Beef is wondering what to do with himself so he goes to a Careers Advise centre and they ask him to stand of the weigh scales.

Looking down he sees the furry red and black stripes in the reflection and has a vision and a Eureka moment of art, but the consultant tell him it's already been done.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 9:50 pm

I write 'of' you say 'on', agreed?

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 9:56 pm

The buyers of Damien Hirst's spot paintings are beginning to worry about their investments so he sends them some scented PVA to rub on them.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 10:02 pm

Girl goes to the gym and sees the bloke working out the fittest points score and thinks yeah go with him and then they drive home in a BMW V8 at 30 MPH to get home safely.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 10:05 pm

Porn star chic denigrating the audience sticking her cock out of her mouth.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 10:07 pm

She's says "I'm on fly spray."

Shrodinger's Budget Suitcase

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 10:08 pm

Grdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdrrdddrdrdrdrrdddddddddddrddddddd......

Woodpecker sex.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 10:10 pm

She said she was into Woodpecker sex so I came in her ear.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Wed Aug 18, 2021 11:48 pm

The West finally wakes up and O.B.J. does Armageddon and destroys the East and after the triumph and his status as an Englishman is assured, he dies.

When he gets to Heaven he's questioned about it and he replies "God whatever happened, I gently pressed the button for nuclear war."

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Fri Aug 20, 2021 7:16 pm

Psychotherapist's breaks fail on his car and he says to himself "Let's go with this. It's all about letting go and..."

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Fri Aug 20, 2021 7:24 pm

The Government on the advise of the Eastern mystics now running the Cabinet and Paul McCartney and they decide to get rid of all emergency services and Let in Be and the world will naturally build and re-make itself, it's all a drama, it's all Rama enjoy all crime and disaster as the Gods showing you their devastation.

Said yogi eats dog excrement for breakfast and likes to lick his ass for clean breath before he has incest for the purity of is-ness of his being and he can't speak a word of English and has never seen the sea.

But he's a yogi so listen to the apotheosis of wisdom not found in the West.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Fri Aug 20, 2021 7:29 pm

Yogi can read all minds and see everything and so can crocodiles and he imparts wisdom yeah...

It's still a crocodile looking.

Human like like cats to cats or owner says that they can read a cat's mind yah... And can just imagine what it like to like his balls with a hairy tongue and like the smell of catnip.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Fri Aug 20, 2021 7:36 pm

I make the same mistake and listen to friends and they're comments about my art and I'm almost fooled.

Hold on a minute, they're practically blind, the have poor taste in art and music and the can't even draw and I listen??????

Totally ingrained culturally to listen to those around you etc. and not just me.

Artist I know asks his friend about a work of art and on his advise he cropped the picture.

His friend can't see properly and knows nothing about art and can't do it and yet. he. cropped. the picture.

Get the picture?

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Fri Aug 20, 2021 7:39 pm

Two old dears about to be killed off in the extremist take-over and on the way into the gas chamber one of the extremists smiles and says "Mind how you go, love."

And one of the ladies smiles to the other and says "These extremists aren't so bad, he seems like quite a nice man."

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Fri Aug 20, 2021 7:45 pm

Eastern mysticism Minders with nihilist joy at all things, all those in thrall to that walk to India and when you get to the cliffs of Dover have faith that you will directly meet Rama and keep on walking, bud.

Go on then.

All of you.

Now.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Fri Aug 20, 2021 7:58 pm

Buddhist nun says you won't find happiness in material things like sex with George Best.

What is her inner ecstasy now then, what is she meditating on for ultimate kicks, what's her buzz and where and with what memory and what anti-object vision to replace seeing him close up down between her legs and all of that and what she says?

Once she wanted AH. UGH. AH. and now she wants OM????

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Fri Aug 20, 2021 7:59 pm

Goodby AH. Hello OM and what?

Which bit of her now?

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Fri Aug 20, 2021 8:08 pm

Looking for happiness.

You won't find happiness in...

I don't think George best was looking for happiness and I doubt on second thoughts he'd choose OM and what rather than OOO and fffffffffffffffkkkkkkk?

To him he surfed the ride and then it was over and then next and perfectly satisfied with the episode, maybe.

He could have become a hippy but he didn't and he had the choice to quite AND renounce the world and become a monk, in the 60s when all that stuff was at the height of world media attention as a simulacrum presented to the public as a dialectic to the Vietnam War.

Him dead and her purring in nun-post Best satisfaction is fooling who?

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Fri Aug 20, 2021 8:11 pm

Her telling him?????

... Go on then, kick that ball.

Down a bottle of Whiskey.

Sing an Irish song and pretend you know George Best, love?

I can imitate a Southerner but I could never know what it is and the basis that they don't know either and they're just playing along.

Even then it's still them, so actually a silly idea.

Pstotto · Post by **Pstotto** » Fri Aug 20, 2021 8:51 pm

Child media what? ... Sexualized' or 'sexualize.'

Sounds a bit official kinky boots.

"Are you sexualized, yet?"

I'm worried about that word, I never heard of it as a child.

I had my first dream about kissing a girl and I liked it at 3.

I was fancying Marina off Stingray as a sex icon at 18 months old and I presume that's normal.

She's better looking that Ursula Andres and as a child one believes the phenomena of it, as all puppeteers know.

Of course it's all designed to show the child a world further because you're watching it with mother and called Watch With Mother.

I sure got the hell out of the house when Bouquet of Barbed Wire came on the TV in the 70s.

How to clear the living room of teenagers, by the BBC.