Depression... why is it so horrid

[Bertiebeehead]

Zlatan...sorry to be blunt, suicide is selfish....do you have children? are your parents still living?....whilst taking your own life would solve your problems, can you imagine how it would affect the one's you leave behind??? for the rest of their lives! you could effectively condemn many other peoples lives mentally to the state of mind you are experiencing through no fault of their own! would that be what you would wish for...I truly believe not...positively though..I commend you for airing your feelings on here...you have already taken the biggest step, recognising your illness,and opening up on this forum, which also suggests that you acknowledge you need help, you are not willing to close up,drop deeper into the abyss to which then you feel there is no point of return...there is an array of help out there for mental illness (CALM -campaign against living miserably 0800 58 58 58) is a great one phone or web chat, men in general do find it difficult to talk to each other about problems and try to hide emotions, so you have already made a huge breakthrough, be proud of yourself for that!...it's a road to recovery, and obviously GP for support and medication...
it's true life is short enough as it is, I'm 48 and do consider at times that I am more than half way my life now which makes me appreciate more the things I have....it isn't money or the latest phone or big screen TV or posh house in the country....it's waking in the morning in relatively good health,a wife and children (and grandchildren) who I adore more than anything in the world, material things don't matter to us, I want to be here everyday that I have left on this earth to be there for our children if needed, see them get married and have families of there own, hopefully see grandchildren grow to be adults, put plasters on their knees when they fall, hug them for reassurance when they're are upset, be a shoulder to cry on when their boyfriends/girlfriends dump them for someone else...that's my job/role in life and something I want to do until I take my last breath naturally...i have a wife of 26yrs who I would happily live in a tent or a cardboard box with for the rest of my life, we're not wealthy,we get by. Both work for NHS,we have a car, a house (ex council property we only recently purchased)...oh and not forgetting a clarets season ticket!!..happiness is the key to success. If you have doubts (taken for a mug again, compromises ) I get the impression you aren't happy with the way things are, YOU are in control of your own destiny...talk to your lady tell her put move on hold for 18 months because your not comfortable with it at this time, if this woman truly loves you she would understand, help you get the support and treatment you need more importantly be there for you as you would her, if a new house is bigger priority than your well being then re-evaluate, ask yourself what you want, need from life. Then make a decision that's right for you...
I genuinely wish you all the very best, hope things work out for you, you also find peace within your mind and get the help and support you need.

So, to sum this up. My life's great, you're a selfish so and so.
Thanks.

[LoveCurryPies]

Lovercurrypies you drippy sop, that comment is enough to drive anyone to suicide.

I'm not even drunk!

I wasn't implying hugs were better than sex. I'm saying it's easy to do the big things but it's the small things that really show how good a relationship is.

I once had a woman and to simply hold her made me feel complete, content. Losing her is the cause of my depression. In the early days I had to remind myself to breathe. Each day has been a fight but I'm steadily rebuilding my life.

[ClaretAndJew]

Edited. Quoted myself instead of editing my other post.

[SalouClaret]

Today one of my childhood friends was cremated at Burnley crematorium. He took his own life at the age of 23 last Wednesday night. I had no idea of his problems, nobody did. Mental health problems can't be ignored. See your gp, contact the charity 'Mind', talk to friends or family, talk to me - anything can and WILL help!

Life is precious mate

[Lowbankclaret]

This is such a serious subject.
Please could people who dont empathise with people who are suffering refrain from posting.
When you feel the worlds against you a wrongly worded comment can push you over the edge.

I empathise with both posters Who commented about how they are feeling, having been in that dark place its very hard for others to understand who have not been there.

There were times I just wanted to get through the next few minutes as I could not see any future.
please just talk the guys who have offered it, I would also be happy to chat if some one needs it.

[Pstotto]

You can't backtrack now, LCP! Ahahahahahahaha

[Pstotto]

Fkdnfkdnfkd and now she's looking for affection... Oh yeah, right.

[ablueclaret]

My advice would be to avoid medication if you possibly can and if you feel it's absolutely necessary to see it as a short term fix (6-9 months).

Sadly all medicines tend to lose their potency and most exacerbate the problem. Try cognitive therapy and relaxation techniques and remain active even if it hurts.

The mind and body have an amazing capacity to recover, but it usually requires taking on a new direction to the one which has brought you to this place.
Depression is hugely varied and its reality hits people in different ways, sometimes it is just the natural thing one should be at a given time and accepting it can be part of the healing process.
Interacting with others is vital and learning new skills important, there are more ways to beat depression than turning to medication.
In fact from what I've seen I"d only go there if all else has failed.

[boatshed bill]

Having suffered in the past, and having given serious thought to any reply, here's my experience.
Depression, or being "depressed", was a strangely warm, familiar, and comfortable place for me to be. that was the real danger.
I am much better now, in my sixties, I have enough experience to deal with it.
Please understand that these are my experiences, not meant as advice.

[Pstotto]

If one is mentally ill one might not realize. I was ill for over five years and I didn't really know. It wasn't until I had a full blown psychosis and took medication, that the symptoms subsided. However over time the effectiveness reduces as it can only reduce symptoms and not solve the problem. The medication has side effects and one can feel distant from reality. I'm on medication now, but that doesn't stop life from making you ill.

I don't recommend anti-depressants as they can make one feel suicidal, oddly enough. They also mess with your body. They work for some, but not for me. It's a bit like taking an ecstasy tablet and having nowhere to party.

[TheOriginalLongsider]

Counselling really does help. You can get this privately for around £40 per hour if you don't want to wait

Medication can make the world of difference. It usually involves trying one type and changing if it doesn't work, or adjusting the dosage. I've been using it for a year and feel pretty normal most days.