Who is Single and Lives Alone?

[SlidingTackle]

Okay.

Very interesting thread, and perhaps the most un-judgemental and non-confrontational thread on here ever! Really good, so much so that I am minded to join in, even though in a 'it's a bloke thing' kind of way, it is not necessarily easy to talk about such things.

I eventually got married later on than most to my ex- who I met here in Edinburgh. She was originally from Accrington, and had been in Scotland (for work reasons) ever since she was 17 - having trained as a chef at 'Accross' College, she took a placement at the Lochalsh Hotel (pre-the bridge to Skye), which I always admired her for - rather than taking the easy option of one in some godforsaken hotel in Blackpool.

As such, she had already lived and worked in Scotland for years more than me when I arrived here for work in 1992. We met some 17 months later, and given her background and accent, we instantly had something in common. Perhaps not as much as I (we?) initially thought, as although we lived together soon afterwards, and then married (at the Dunkenhalgh) in 1997, and then bought a house and had our first daughter in 1998, we drifted apart quite quickly, perhaps not helped by me (briefly) working abroad on three occasions (the first two when she was pregnant with daughters one and two). Anyway, as a result, I went back to what I had had before, which was still as fantastic as it had been before in the ways it had been fantastic before despite (or because of?) a 10 year no contact at all 'lull', but was still doomed to failure for the same reasons it didn't work the first time round.

Obviously, me and my ex- divorced, but fair play to her she has always remained friendly and (we both) always put the girls first. My 'other' relationship staggered on (and off) for years and subsequently I have had a series of 'brief encounters' with the other kind, some of which have been 'serious', but all of which have declined to nothing.

I'm a bit baffled by this, as some of the 'role holders' I have REALLY liked, but I am very aware that I am perhaps meant to be single in some ways, as much as I would love to be in a genuine loving relationship. And this becomes a self-fulfilling thing; I'd find it hard to be any other way now, let alone how hard it would be for any woman to embrace what has become my lifestyle.

Not that it involves anything 'odd'; I'm just set in my ways. And yes, I admit, I love the freedom I have. and I used to hate the constraints marriage placed on me - being told I had to clean the bathroom after I had been away working all week, or that I folded washing up wrong, or that I had to go shopping, etc., etc).

I'm also increasingly aware that I am MASSIVELY self-contained AND I can very easily keep myself entertained, endlessly doing this, that, or the other. I am very rarely bored as a result.

Some people might regard me as a bit of a sad loser / loner, but I have a reasonably active social life revolving around a few University friends, lots of friends through my life-long hobby, etc., and my daughters, who, I am very pleased to say, I have very definitely remained closely involved with throughout.

I'm a realist. If some nymphomaniac babe who was genuinely interested in me, Burnley FC and birds / wildlife / nature conservation / environmental issues came along and was happy to live with me (and accept me for who I am and not who she wanted me to be) then I would not say no.

But it ain't going to happen. Is it?

[elwaclaret]

Okay.

Very interesting thread, and perhaps the most un-judgemental and non-confrontational thread on here ever! Really good, so much so that I am minded to join in, even though in a 'it's a bloke thing' kind of way, it is not necessarily easy to talk about such things.

I eventually got married later on than most to my ex- who I met here in Edinburgh. She was originally from Accrington, and had been in Scotland (for work reasons) ever since she was 17 - having trained as a chef at 'Accross' College, she took a placement at the Lochalsh Hotel (pre-the bridge to Skye), which I always admired her for - rather than taking the easy option of one in some godforsaken hotel in Blackpool.

As such, she had already lived and worked in Scotland for years more than me when I arrived here for work in 1992. We met some 17 months later, and given her background and accent, we instantly had something in common. Perhaps not as much as I (we?) initially thought, as although we lived together soon afterwards, and then married (at the Dunkenhalgh) in 1997, and then bought a house and had our first daughter in 1998, we drifted apart quite quickly, perhaps not helped by me (briefly) working abroad on three occasions (the first two when she was pregnant with daughters one and two). Anyway, as a result, I went back to what I had had before, which was still as fantastic as it had been before in the ways it had been fantastic before despite (or because of?) a 10 year no contact at all 'lull', but was still doomed to failure for the same reasons it didn't work the first time round.

Obviously, me and my ex- divorced, but fair play to her she has always remained friendly and (we both) always put the girls first. My 'other' relationship staggered on (and off) for years and subsequently I have had a series of 'brief encounters' with the other kind, some of which have been 'serious', but all of which have declined to nothing.

I'm a bit baffled by this, as some of the 'role holders' I have REALLY liked, but I am very aware that I am perhaps meant to be single in some ways, as much as I would love to be in a genuine loving relationship. And this becomes a self-fulfilling thing; I'd find it hard to be any other way now, let alone how hard it would be for any woman to embrace what has become my lifestyle.

Not that it involves anything 'odd'; I'm just set in my ways. And yes, I admit, I love the freedom I have. and I used to hate the constraints marriage placed on me - being told I had to clean the bathroom after I had been away working all week, or that I folded washing up wrong, or that I had to go shopping, etc., etc).

I'm also increasingly aware that I am MASSIVELY self-contained AND I can very easily keep myself entertained, endlessly doing this, that, or the other. I am very rarely bored as a result.

Some people might regard me as a bit of a sad loser / loner, but I have a reasonably active social life revolving around a few University friends, lots of friends through my life-long hobby, etc., and my daughters, who, I am very pleased to say, I have very definitely remained closely involved with throughout.

I'm a realist. If some nymphomaniac babe who was genuinely interested in me, Burnley FC and birds / wildlife / nature conservation / environmental issues came along and was happy to live with me (and accept me for who I am and not who she wanted me to be) then I would not say no.

But it ain't going to happen. Is it?

No one can say either way. I bumped into an old old friend the other day the last time I saw him twelve months ago he had decided he was past it, and pretty much accepted his lot was not to have his own family… a lawyer, he could drink and socialise and have as much fun in Lincoln’s Inn or swilling a beer in Burnley. Twelve months later he is seeing a solicitor he met at a works do twenty years his junior who has a small family and is self reliant but wants someone to wind down with at night….

They say there is someone for everyone, now you’ve stopped looking she’ll probably be along any time.

[Wile E Coyote]

There truly are some quite remarkable stories on this messageboard. I am often stunned at the quality of posts. The honesty, integrity can be eye opening at times. Vey admirable.
To all those concerned, I genuinely wish you all the very best of good fortune in the forthcoming years, (not just the next one)
Great board, and some phenomenal contributions on a myriad of topics. This one is impressive. UTC, and enjoy things at this time of the year however you see fit. xx

[Jakubclaret]

Some of the best potential threads/posts get locked & deleted far too quickly & sometimes you never know which direction it could go, I can understand in some ways why it’s just a shame sometimes things are stopped before they’ve even got going & sometimes with no obvious reason.

[LoveCurryPies]

....providing I can shake off this horrendous cold.

Have you taken a Covid test, CT?

Thanks for all you do moderating this board. Don’t know how you put up with some of the rubbish written here but thankfully you do.

Happy Christmas to everyone!

[ClaretTony]

Have you taken a Covid test, CT?

Thanks for all you do moderating this board. Don’t know how you put up with some of the rubbish written here but thankfully you do.

Happy Christmas to everyone!

Yes, taken one and all clear. It’s just a bloody awful cold.

[ŽižkovClaret]

Just stuck some beef chunks in a pan to brown then in the slow cooker with some strong beer. Will see how that ends up ha

Not sure a mrs would appreciate my experimental cooking

[pushpinpussy]

great respect for people who are single and comfortable with it. im a great believer in the Law of Attraction. You attract what you are. Or, you are what you attract. To attract into your life positive things, all you need to do is stay positive. In other words, positive thinking can make your wildest dreams come true! Keep positive and keep dreaming folks.

[ŽižkovClaret]

great respect for people who are single and comfortable with it. im a great believer in the Law of Attraction. You attract what you are. Or, you are what you attract. To attract into your life positive things, all you need to do is stay positive. In other words, positive thinking can make your wildest dreams come true! Keep positive and keep dreaming folks.

That sounds f**-king exhausting

[Aclaret]

Yes, taken one and all clear. It’s just a bloody awful cold.

Same here Tony, I have a terrible cold, could be a coincidence but had my booster the other day.
Hope I'm fit for Christmas and Boxing Day.

[ClaretTony]

Same here Tony, I have a terrible cold, could be a coincidence but had my booster the other day.
Hope I'm fit for Christmas and Boxing Day.

Not linked with my booster - had it on 15th November