Grinds my Gears

[houseboy]

“More wrong”

Wrong is an absolute.

Unless in the context of another or an extra wrong. In which case it is acceptable.

[houseboy]

In meeting's, when you ask someone if they have anything to add and they say 'no, but....' then go on to add something to the conversation - so what you mean is 'yes, .....'

In meetings when they ask at the end ‘any questions’. All you want is to get the fck out and the same person always says ‘can I just ask…’.

[Juan Tanamera]

A few on here should have had our English teacher bud. The old girl who I think retired while we were still there. Her name escapes me. She had an amazing way of drumming home a message. Her great lesson on the difference between can and may I will never forget.
Guy at the back of the class puts hand up and says ‘can I go to the toilet miss?’
She says ‘Yes’.
He starts to walk out and she then says ‘where do you think you are going?’
‘You said I could go to the toilet miss’.
‘I said you could. I didn’t say you may’.
Brilliant. I think the guy might have been David Slater but I could be wrong.

Yes Ian, it quite likely would have been David Slater (Slat).
The English teacher was Jean Henneberry.

[houseboy]

Yes Ian, it quite likely would have been David Slater (Slat).
The English teacher was Jean Henneberry.

I thought Henneberry was the young one? The one I was thinking about was even older than Wadsworth the maths teacher. Is Slat still around bud? He was from up your way originally wasn’t he? Right rascal but okay.

[LincsWoldsClaret]

Taking it to the next level -

Forgetting the next level may be below the current level

[Guller Bull]

“Bring to the party” /“Bring to the table”

When people start every sentence with “So”

The phrase “Whoosh - that went over your head”

[Hipper]

'Yeah, no but' it was CJ Egan-Riley who I first saw saying it, VK also used to say it, never heard it before that.

At least they've moved on from 'over the moon', 'sick as a parrot' etc..

[ecc]

"Do the math"

[GetIntoEm]

"hollibobs" f off

[Inchy]

Press
The press

When spoken about in football terms

Low block is another one

[claret2018]

The word “banter”

[Foshiznik]

"Home working"
"Hybrid working"

It's just working! nothing fundamentally changes and the difference doesn't require an extra word.

[Foshiznik]

The word “banter”

Everyone loves a bit of bantz?

[BFCmaj]

Haitch instead of aitch
Skedule instead of schedule

[Foshiznik]

In meetings when they ask at the end ‘any questions’. All you want is to get the fck out and the same person always says ‘can I just ask…’.

or say "Just a quick one..." and then talk continuously for 20 minutes giving the attendees a no holds barred full synopsis of the background, reasoning and conclusion as to why they ask the "quick" question before asking it.

[Herts Clarets]

Carbon reduction, net zero, zero emissions and the like.

[Wo Didi]

"Would of" "could of" "should of"

This is the one that really gets me, there's posters on here who are very articulate but still use this horror pairing. I'm pretty laid back but but this does grind my gears.

[yTib]

apostrophes for me.

there's a takeaway in shipley that sells kebab's, pizza's and burger's.

and yes, i'm aware i don't use capitals but that's just i can't be arsed.

[houseboy]

When you look at these threads you realise the beautiful diversity of human nature. If we banned everything that got on everyone’s nerves we would never speak or do much of anything. Tolerance is the name of the game really. We all dislike stuff (I have a great dislike of growing Americanisms) but if people want to use them who am I to say it’s wrong. Language develops for better or worse and will always do so I suppose.
For what it’s worth I am a Lancashire lad born and bred and it’s a great place, but because my job and moving around a little I have lost a good deal of my accent and I’m really rather glad because the dialect, in my view, makes us sound like we’ve only just fallen out of the trees and learned to walk upright. But that’s just my opinion.

[Hipper]

News reporters
Just watch their heads before they start speaking
I am talking about this kind of thing
“ we go over to our political analyst Chris Mason
Camera shot then goes to the next reporter and before they speak nearly all of them will start nodding their head
And once you become aware of it you are looking for it all the time
The other pet hate the use of very
No politician is ever concerned or think the situation is serious
They are always very concerned or it is very serious and sometimes it’s very very concerning

I seem to recall that the head nodding is the reporter acknowledging that he can hear the studio. Presumably then if he doesn't nod it means he can't hear the studio - I'm a genius! How it works in India with some of their head nodding when they speak, or when interviewing one of those dogs in car rear windows I don't know.

[Bop]

Literally. Grrrrr

[JanetM]

Levelling up.
I think it sounds patronising.

[Herts Clarets]

How it works in India with some of their head nodding when they speak, or when interviewing one of those dogs in car rear windows I don't know.

I was told the head wobbling of Indian people is a stereotype that is nor accurate. A few years ago I spent a couple of weeks in India and we took a train journey to one of the places we visited. We were sat in a sleeper compartment, think old trains with a corridor and compartments off the corridor, and the curtains were closed. We were eating the very nice food that came with the journey. A little Indian guy opened the sliding door, popped his head around the curtain, smiled and wobbled his head. Didn't speak or anything. Just felt such an Indian thing to happen.

[Pearcey]

All is dross.
Staycation.

[Cirrus_Minor]

Foul swoop

Should be fell swoop

[Rick_Muller]

This thread boils my p!ss

[FigSlice]

"Two times" rather than "twice"
"As you well know". The red mist descends when I read or hear it.

[Foshiznik]

When people have more than one secondary thing rather than it be tertiary. Can only presume some aren’t aware of what tertiary means…

[yTib]

americans pluralising lego as 'legos'.

the plural of lego is lego.

give it time, your grandchildren are next.

[yTib]

people on amazon who don't understand the difference between seller feedback and product reviews.

go to argos ffs.

[Quicknick]

Any cliche.

[dougcollins]

When you look at these threads you realise the beautiful diversity of human nature. If we banned everything that got on everyone’s nerves we would never speak or do much of anything. Tolerance is the name of the game really. We all dislike stuff (I have a great dislike of growing Americanisms) but if people want to use them who am I to say it’s wrong. Language develops for better or worse and will always do so I suppose.
For what it’s worth I am a Lancashire lad born and bred and it’s a great place, but because my job and moving around a little I have lost a good deal of my accent and I’m really rather glad because the dialect, in my view, makes us sound like we’ve only just fallen out of the trees and learned to walk upright. But that’s just my opinion.

You can be tolerant with bad grammar.

I can't.

[Cirrus_Minor]

Many years ago I heard someone use the expression "grips my sh1t". I remember struggling to mentally process this phrase with my imagination going into overdrive with many gripping techniques.

[Cirrus_Minor]

Duplicate post

[Exeterclaret]

Misuse of 'yourself'. Estate agent and recruiter speak at its worst.

[HuncoatClaret]

Literally
Genre
People starting emails with - I just thought that I would touch base with you about.......

[ecc]

When you look at these threads you realise the beautiful diversity of human nature. If we banned everything that got on everyone’s nerves we would never speak or do much of anything. Tolerance is the name of the game really. We all dislike stuff (I have a great dislike of growing Americanisms) but if people want to use them who am I to say it’s wrong. Language develops for better or worse and will always do so I suppose.
For what it’s worth I am a Lancashire lad born and bred and it’s a great place, but because my job and moving around a little I have lost a good deal of my accent and I’m really rather glad because the dialect, in my view, makes us sound like we’ve only just fallen out of the trees and learned to walk upright. But that’s just my opinion.

Hi houseboy,

What exactly do you mean by "the dialect" in your post?

[yTib]

Hi houseboy,

What exactly do you mean by "the dialect" in your post?

he means he is now a snooty biatch.

[Coeus]

Just going for a cheeky beer. Grrrrrrr.

[Woodleyclaret]

Yeh no but was one of comedienne Catherine Tates catch phrases

[AlargeClaret]

The overuse of the word “ brutal “ as some kind of throwaway term “ a brutal put down “ or such guff. Brutal invokes harshness , savagery , taking oneself to the limit and even murder , not some fecking wet wipe shouting at someone on Love Island.
The likes of “ can I get “ are now so entrenched in millennial speak I try to tactically ignore while grinding my teeth to a fine powder .

The likes of “110%” and “ absolutely “ are so 80’s they really should be extinct along with “ bonking” and “ double whammy”

[lakedistrictclaret]

Literally
Genre
People starting emails with - I just thought that I would touch base with you about.......

" Literally " can be used correctly, eg " I have literally just posted on Up The Clarets "

..........but I know what you mean!

[houseboy]

Hi houseboy,

What exactly do you mean by "the dialect" in your post?

The Lancashire dialect really, although I’m fully aware of even the difference between Accrington, where I live now, and Rossendale, where I was brought up. Subtle differences for sure. I’ve never been in love with it but hey ho, what’s it matter.

[houseboy]

he means he is now a snooty biatch.

Don’t worry bud. Despite having lost it somewhat people from daan saaf still know I’m a northerner, even though they can’t tell the difference between Lancashire and Yorkshire.

[Im_not_Robbie_Blake]

'From the get go' - as Claire Balding and NIck 'Curious'. Just say 'From the start' please


Makes me think of a gecko

[ElectroClaret]

Crimbo.
Just... just...no.

[IanMcL]

It is what it is.

And we are where we are.

[Stalbansclaret]

My two major irritants have both been mentioned on here which is pleasing ...It's a relief to feel I'm not alone ! namely
1. Can I GET a coffee (or whatever) please (Err no you cant mate because it's on this side of the counter)
2. Would OF, Should OF, could OF.......WTF ?!!

[ecc]

Hi houseboy,

Thanks for replying. When you say dialect do you mean your accent?

[ecc]

Something which is rife on this board: using the present tense instead of the conditional.

e.g. "He scores that we win".