What is the funniest drunk thing you've witnessed?

[Spiral]

Recently or ever? I recently watched a very drunk person attempting, in vain, to pour a shot of vodka from a bottle with, unbeknown to him, the bottle cap still on, for about three minutes.

[Imploding Turtle]

A murder.

Edit: here's a pic. http://i.imgur.com/Zvt3Yev.jpg" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[Saxoman]

I was the victim. Drinking in a bar stood up with my stool behind me, somebody took away the stool without me noticing, you know the rest, del boy style..

[Sutton-Claret]

I was sat naked on the dressing table the other week after a big night....... my wife woke up and asked me what I was doing...... ''I'm waiting for a taxi'' I said. She left me there and went back to sleep. I don't recall any of it.

[Dressinggown]

Years ago at a house party there was some drunken tosser who thought it would be clever to go on the roof of the house.

Attracting the attention of the party guests by emitting high pitched keening noises he then presented the eager throng with his trademark 'Parkour' move. The large distance drop from a roof into a forward roll is generally a low risk manoeuvre but things went tits up from the start. This bloke attempted to sprint down the roof tiles but accumulated Moss made them slippery. His jump was halted by his right trainer sticking in the plastic guttering.

The anticipated trajectory immediately took a different course towards the ground. Smashing into concrete, the vast majority of his facial structure became crumbs and his hips went through his abdomen.

13 weeks later I emerged from my Medically Induced Coma.

[claptrappers_union]

What was it like being in a coma?

[minnieclaret]

Google: drunk irishman tries to walk up hill.

[Spiral]

Medically induced comas are so beige, so bland. Physically induced comas FTW.

[Rats_cle]

My son has just come home.
It went something like this:

Son. Hya ma and pa, good day today, clarets should have won.
Me. have you had a good drink
Son. No about 4 or 5 plints
Me . 4 pints, all day?
Son . Not sure really.
Me . I think you better go to bed.
Son . Night night ma and pa.

Just been to check on him, his clothes are in bed and he his in the wardrobe.
(By the way I have not spelt plints wrong, it's how it sounded)

By the way he's in his forties.

[Spiral]

By the way he's in his forties.

M. Night Shyamalan, eat your heart out.

[MiltonKeynesClaret93]

My mate went into Subway and spent £5 on a foot long sub with nothing on it.

[Funkydrummer]

Is this the guy Minnie ?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuI23zCudKY" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[TheFamilyCat]

What was it like being in a coma?

Like being at Ewood

[Wexford_Claret]

Is this the guy Minnie ?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuI23zCudKY" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Who knew Cousin Paddy's wedding antics would one day become a YouTube sensation?!

[Tribesmen]

Super always makes me laugh .

[spadesclaret]

Many years ago when I was just a child our village football team won the final of a local cup competition. There were celebrations in the pub afterwards. The silver cup, quite a large, impressive affair, was filled to the brim with ale and was passed round for everyone to partake. As you can imagine, this was quite exciting for a little girl.

My granddad went a little over the top with his celebrating. After all, three of his sons were in the winning team. When our family left the pub we all went to my grandparents' house. My Nan decided that Granddad had had enough to drink and sent him off to bed.

Ten minutes later there was a crash from upstairs and then my Granddad's voice shouting down the stairs, "Maudy (my Nan), someone's pinched all the bedclothes!" We all rushed to the bottom of the stairs, looked up, and there stood Granddad in all his altogether. "All the sheets and blankets have gone and my 'jamas," he said, teetering on the top stair.

One of my uncles rushed up. He came down a few minutes later to say, "The silly old *** was only trying to go to bed in the bath!"

[RingoMcCartney]

Is this the guy Minnie ?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuI23zCudKY" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Good loves a tryer!

Sean Dyche would like him.

"Minimum requirement. Maximum effort!"

[Funkydrummer]

This is my personal favourite, was sent to me by email a few years ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Edlq5ffOWH8" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[minnieclaret]

This is my personal favourite, was sent to me by email a few years ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Edlq5ffOWH8" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Good to see him laughing at himself.

[FactualFrank]

I was in Benidorm several years ago with 2 friends when walking back to the hotel we came across an extremely drunk lad about our age (we were 19). He wanted one of us a race, and as I was the quickest, one of my mates pointed to me. One of my mates went over to what we agreed was the finishing line and we got ready.

It was a pretty even race, however because he was so drunk he didn't notice the 'finishing line' and so didn't stop running - All I remember seeing were these tables and chairs fly up in the air as he crashed straight into them. One of the funniest things I've seen on a night out for sure, with just the way it happened and how I pictured it.

[RalphCoatesComb]

An old one but still a classic.

No drunks in a Russian mine !

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffG-F3wYn5k

[RingoMcCartney]

My son has just come home.
It went something like this:

Son. Hya ma and pa, good day today, clarets should have won.
Me. have you had a good drink
Son. No about 4 or 5 plints
Me . 4 pints, all day?
Son . Not sure really.
Me . I think you better go to bed.
Son . Night night ma and pa.

Just been to check on him, his clothes are in bed and he his in the wardrobe.
(By the way I have not spelt plints wrong, it's how it sounded)

By the way he's in his forties.

Is it too early to nominate for post of the year!

Brilliant!

[Cirrus_Minor]

We were once discussing the daftest place you had woken up when you were drunk; mine was the ladies toilet in a Torquay nightclub (many years ago now), but the winner was ' the central reservation of the M6'.

[Dressinggown]

At another house party an acquaintance of mine mistook a screwed up red napkin as Tandoori Chicken even though the only food on offer was a bag or two of crisps and some dips.

We could see him eyeing up the opportunity before he launched into his 'prey'.

We couldn't speak for laughing whilst he couldn't speak due to a throat full of tissue paper.

[Malton_Claret]

after a night out my very drunk mate got the munchies so he decided to have a ham sandwich, he thought it was to tough to chew so he left it, the next morning we saw the ham was still in the packet between the two slices of bread!!

[Sgt. Pepper]

Many moons ago, while at university in Stoke-on-Trent, a group of us were walking back from a very long/late night out. We decided to take a short cut through the local park, so climbed over the fence, as the gates were locked.
When we reached the children's play area, much drunken tomfoolery ensued on the carousels/swings etc.
This culminated in one of the group sitting astride one of those childrens playground rides that you used to find in municipal parks, which primarily consisted of a large spring fixed to the ground, similar to the one pictured, but in this case it looked like an aeroplane (and it was red).

He proceed to lean back until his back was touching the ground, laughing all the while. He then, in what initially seemed like slow motion, began to return to the vertical position. However, he began to pick up momentum at a fair pace. This (combined, no doubt, with the effects of a skinfull of ale) left him poorly equipped to control the situation. He reached the perpendicular, carried on accelerating and ended up planting his face on the gravel, before bouncing back up to the vertical, laughing all the while. We were unable to stop laughing, not because of his antics but because he'd knocked one of his front teeth out, and was blissfully unaware.

[Covclaret]

In 1990 I went to Bucharest in Romania. Wasn't that long after Ceausescu had been overthrown, so the place was still full of bullet holes in buildings and there wasn't much food in the shops, certainly no fresh citrus fruit. Alcohol was very cheap though, and the group I was with had our fair share of local beer and plum brandy. Went back to the 'hotel' at about 1.00am, we were on the fifth floor and there was some random local bloke, pi$$ed up, singing at full voice in the street. One of the lads opened the bedroom window and threw an orange (that we brought to Romania with us) at the bloke. As soon as it left his hand, you just knew it was going to hit the bloke. It smacked into the back of the poor fella's head, knocked him clean off his feet. We were crying with laughter. He got up ok, eventually, but looked very confused. Always wondered what the bloke thought had happened.

[Chuckypad]

A mate of mine once had one of those back spasm things when drunk.

Here's a clip of another one...not the best quality but funny all the same

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xffHG_hauAY