Surrogacy for same sex couples

Blackrod · Post by **Blackrod** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 10:31 am

Big debate on the radio about this yesterday. Many people were uncomfortable with this. Is this selfishness on the would be parents part or is it perfectly reasonable on ethical grounds ?

Goobs · Post by **Goobs** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 10:33 am

No problem with it for me. The only concern for any would be parents is that they do their best to be good parents to their child(ren).

CaptainKirk · Post by **CaptainKirk** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 10:40 am

Is this a serious question?
When you think of some of the dead beats and scrotes who fire out kids by the shed load?
The only qualification needed is to be good parents.
In 30 years time people will look back on some of the issues causing arguments today and they will wonder what we were thinking.

Sidney1st · Post by **Sidney1st** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 10:41 am

Isn't an issue for me.

The only grey area in this is if a man donates to a same sex couple but isn't protected from paying things like child maintanence etc

ClaretAndJew · Post by **ClaretAndJew** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 11:01 am

Isn't an issue for me but I always question whether people genuinely WANT to be parents or just become parents via unprotected sex without regard.

If someone WANTED to be a parent they should adopt one of the thousands of unwanted babies.

UpTheBeehole · Post by **UpTheBeehole** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 11:07 am

Many kids up for adoption have experienced unimaginable horrors which stymie brain development and lead to problems in later life. A lot of babies in care are born with heroin or methadone addictions which can lead to them being extremely hard to soothe.

Those that do succesfully foster/adopt are fantastic people who do great good for these kids, however it shouldn't be thrusted on people who would prefer to go through IVF or surrogacy.

ClaretAndJew · Post by **ClaretAndJew** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 11:14 am

I wouldn't thrust it on anyone, just would like it to be an easily available option if someone wants to be a parent.

Does it mater if it's genetically theirs? I'm not a parent so maybe I'm talking shite.

Sidney1st · Post by **Sidney1st** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 11:52 am

It doesn't matter if a child isn't genetically yours, so long as you love them like they are.

I've got 3 kids, but one isn't genetically mine.

Pearcey · Post by **Pearcey** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 11:57 am

We have 2 adopted children and have met same sex parents during the process. All that matters is that the parents love, care and support their children.

TheFamilyCat · Post by **TheFamilyCat** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 12:15 pm

What was the issue being discussed? Surrogacy in general or specifically for same sex couples?

If the focus is on same sex couples (and the OP has a bit of previous on similar subjects) then it seems obvious what some people's real issue is.

Blackrod · Post by **Blackrod** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 12:25 pm

Interestingly a person phoned in who's sister was gay and he knew some others of that persuasion but he felt uncomfortable with them having children. He felt that the child is knowingly being deprived of both a female and male figure in their lives and this couldn't be replicated by two people of the same sex. There were also issues around whether the child could be subject to bullying at school through no fault of their own. One of the main issues was whether it should be a lifestyle choice to distort nature and fostering ought to be the first port of call.

Lancasterclaret · Post by **Lancasterclaret** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 12:27 pm

All that matters is that the parents love, care and support their children.

This. This. This.

Sidney1st · Post by **Sidney1st** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 12:27 pm

So what about single parent families?

There are plenty of those.

Blackrod · Post by **Blackrod** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 12:28 pm

The OP has a bit of previous what ? I just raise topical issues sometimes and found this debate on the radio very interesting as people with quite different views were addressing each other directly.

TheFamilyCat · Post by **TheFamilyCat** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 12:30 pm

Blackrod wrote:Interestingly a person phoned in who's sister was gay and he knew some others of that persuasion but he felt uncomfortable with them having children. He felt that the child is knowingly being deprived of both a female and male figure in their lives and this couldn't be replicated by two people of the same sex. There were also issues around whether the child could be subject to bullying at school through no fault of their own. One of the main issues was whether it should be a lifestyle choice to distort nature and fostering ought to be the first port of call.

So it's about same sex couples being parents not specifically surrogacy.

bfcjg · Post by **bfcjg** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 12:31 pm

I find the whole issue of hiring out wombs for profit distasteful, if however a loving couple who really want a child and they pass all the tests etc be they whatever they are have a child carried by a person who is in it just to bring joy to people then nothing wrong with that.

Sidney1st · Post by **Sidney1st** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 12:33 pm

Gender of the parents shouldn't matter.
If someone is complaining about the lack of the other gender being present then what about single parent families?

Do they have the same complaint there?

basil6345789 · Post by **basil6345789** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 12:37 pm

The risk is when the child itself reaches say 14 years and personally disapproves of how it's been brought up.

Lancasterclaret · Post by **Lancasterclaret** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 12:39 pm

What. The. Actual. ****.

You seriously think thats is going to be an issue with a kid bought up by same sex parents at 14?

duncandisorderly · Post by **duncandisorderly** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 12:42 pm

basil6345789 wrote:The risk is when the child itself reaches say 14 years and personally disapproves of how it's been brought up.

If it's been brought up badly then that would apply regardless of the gender of the parents.
If it's been brought up well then it wouldn't matter.

basil6345789 · Post by **basil6345789** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 12:50 pm

No, simply it may well be unhappy with the sexuality of the parents and would have preferred something more orthodox. The same sex legislation etc is not supported by all.

Lancasterclaret · Post by **Lancasterclaret** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 1:03 pm

I'm completely the other way.

I struggle to explain to my kids how its ok to be gay, trans, different colours etc (not because I don't agree, but because I can't think of how to explain it to a kid!)

These kids are going to have to right in front of them. They will be the most well informed 21st century kids going.

martin_p · Post by **martin_p** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 1:05 pm

basil6345789 wrote:No, simply it may well be unhappy with the sexuality of the parents and would have preferred something more orthodox. The same sex legislation etc is not supported by all.

Are you actually reading what you write?

Sidney1st · Post by **Sidney1st** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 1:05 pm

If you're raised by same sex parents I'd say you're more likely to have a better outlook on same sex relationships etc.

My brother doesn't speak to our parents because our Auntie/legal guardian poisoned him against them.

basil6345789 · Post by **basil6345789** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 1:43 pm

But Lancaster, they still might have other views, their own values eyc and not be comfortable with it.

UpTheBeehole · Post by **UpTheBeehole** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 2:03 pm

What is there to be uncomfortable about?

Sidney1st · Post by **Sidney1st** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 2:41 pm

basil6345789 wrote:But Lancaster, they still might have other views, their own values eyc and not be comfortable with it.

If they're raised in that environment why would they become prejiduced against it?
Unless someone is drip feeding them negative comments then in theory they shouldn't have an issue.
Just need to keep them away from god botherers.

basil6345789 · Post by **basil6345789** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 4:21 pm

Not everyone's cup of tea. You're free to like or dislike what you want. For example Drag Queens performing in Primary Schools annoy me - as shown on the telly last week - some people think it's fine.

UpTheBeehole · Post by **UpTheBeehole** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 4:24 pm

Yeah, blooming kids watching drag queens.

Not like the good old days, taking them to see Widow Twanky in panto.

No men dressed as women/vice versa in those days.

Squarepusher · Post by **Squarepusher** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 4:27 pm

basil6345789 wrote:No, simply it may well be unhappy with the sexuality of the parents and would have preferred something more orthodox. The same sex legislation etc is not supported by all.

I'm unhappy about the sexuality of my parents too. Damn heteros.

cricketfieldclarets · Post by **cricketfieldclarets** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 4:59 pm

I will be honest. And probably be slated for it. And I am comfortable with that. But I don't agree that same sex people should be allowed to adopt children and certainly don't think they should be allowed surrogate children.

Thats my opinion. And not a reflection on my beliefs of same sex couples or even same sex marriage. Thats an adult choice made by consenting adults who are happy and comfortable with their sexuality.

basil6345789 · Post by **basil6345789** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 5:00 pm

No comparison between Widow Twanky and the stuff nowadays.

Blackrod · Post by **Blackrod** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 5:28 pm

cricketfieldclarets wrote:I will be honest. And probably be slated for it. And I am comfortable with that. But I don't agree that same sex people should be allowed to adopt children and certainly don't think they should be allowed surrogate children.

Thats my opinion. And not a reflection on my beliefs of same sex couples or even same sex marriage. Thats an adult choice made by consenting adults who are happy and comfortable with their sexuality.

I think this is the position of many.

Falcon · Post by **Falcon** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 5:33 pm

Goobs wrote:No problem with it for me. The only concern for any would be parents is that they do their best to be good parents to their child(ren).

Nail on head.

CaptainKirk wrote: In 30 years time people will look back on some of the issues causing arguments today and they will wonder what we were thinking.

Couldn't agree more.

KRBFC · Post by **KRBFC** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 5:35 pm

cricketfieldclarets wrote:I will be honest. And probably be slated for it. And I am comfortable with that. But I don't agree that same sex people should be allowed to adopt children and certainly don't think they should be allowed surrogate children.

Thats my opinion. And not a reflection on my beliefs of same sex couples or even same sex marriage. Thats an adult choice made by consenting adults who are happy and comfortable with their sexuality.

You think it's unfair on the kids?

cricketfieldclarets · Post by **cricketfieldclarets** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 5:51 pm

KRBFC wrote:You think it's unfair on the kids?

I know too many same sex couples who are unfair on the kids for that to be the reason!

bfccrazy · Post by **bfccrazy** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 5:52 pm

As CFC says above for me.

It's on of those topics where a lot of people will avoid speaking up as they'll be **** down but I don't agree with same sex couples having surrogates etc..

I have no problem with people of any sexual persuasion but I'd feel the same with some random kid being thrust into a say Amish family ..... it's fine for them to live like that but putting a child into that mix who as someone else says abovemay later come to out and say that they didn't want that upbringing and the hassle that will no doubt come with it through school etc. With kids who will be having constant digs.

bfccrazy · Post by **bfccrazy** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 5:55 pm

(Will be a topic debated a bit I think in coming months as there are states in America who have bills passed/trying to be passed to stop LGBT adoption)

Pearcey · Post by **Pearcey** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 6:27 pm

bfccrazy wrote:As CFC says above for me.

It's on of those topics where a lot of people will avoid speaking up as they'll be **** down but I don't agree with same sex couples having surrogates etc..

I have no problem with people of any sexual persuasion but I'd feel the same with some random kid being thrust into a say Amish family ..... it's fine for them to live like that but putting a child into that mix who as someone else says abovemay later come to out and say that they didn't want that upbringing and the hassle that will no doubt come with it through school etc. With kids who will be having constant digs.

What sort of life do you think same sex couples live? One particular couple I met were both teachers living a very normal life. Their child is absolutely gorgeous and very happy. You have your opinion and that’s fine, but for me, the child’s welfare is paramount.

martin_p · Post by **martin_p** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 6:36 pm

bfccrazy wrote:As CFC says above for me.

It's on of those topics where a lot of people will avoid speaking up as they'll be **** down but I don't agree with same sex couples having surrogates etc..

I have no problem with people of any sexual persuasion but I'd feel the same with some random kid being thrust into a say Amish family ..... it's fine for them to live like that but putting a child into that mix who as someone else says abovemay later come to out and say that they didn't want that upbringing and the hassle that will no doubt come with it through school etc. With kids who will be having constant digs.

You can frame it how you like, but you’re discriminating against homosexual couples and that’s not something that should be happening in 2018.

bfccrazy · Post by **bfccrazy** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 6:42 pm

martin_p wrote:You can frame it how you like, but you’re discriminating against homosexual couples and that’s not something that should be happening in 2018.

Could be that nature is discriminating against them .....

martin_p · Post by **martin_p** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 6:44 pm

bfccrazy wrote:Could be that nature is discriminating against them .....

Nope, it’s you.

boatshed bill · Post by **boatshed bill** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 7:04 pm

Some people want everything.

Bfcboyo · Post by **Bfcboyo** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 7:06 pm

Blackrod wrote:Big debate on the radio about this yesterday. Many people were uncomfortable with this. Is this selfishness on the would be parents part or is it perfectly reasonable on ethical grounds ?

Ethical grounds . Everybody knows homosexuality is illegal.

In Dubai.

Bfcboyo · Post by **Bfcboyo** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 7:10 pm

Blackrod wrote:I think this is the position of many.

shhhhh ! Don't let them know. You will be branded a racist.

basil6345789 · Post by **basil6345789** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 7:15 pm

Don't like surrogacy in any form, actually. It's messing about with things best left alone.

Milltown1882 · Post by **Milltown1882** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 7:31 pm

martin_p wrote:You can frame it how you like, but you’re discriminating against homosexual couples and that’s not something that should be happening in 2018.

It’s a forum for personal opinions I don’t think anyone’s opinions should be shot down on this topic as it’s such a wide reaching debate.

Personally I’m not a fan of the idea, the whole concept of procreation etc is based around a man and a woman but that’s just my opinion.

TheFamilyCat · Post by **TheFamilyCat** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 7:47 pm

Milltown1882 wrote:
Personally I’m not a fan of the idea, the whole concept of procreation etc is based around a man and a woman but that’s just my opinion.

Well surrogacy requires a man and a woman so why are you not a fan of the idea?

bob-the-scutter · Post by **bob-the-scutter** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 7:49 pm

TheFamilyCat wrote:Well surrogacy requires a man and a woman so why are you not a fan of the idea?

Parents!

TheFamilyCat · Post by **TheFamilyCat** » Wed Mar 28, 2018 7:52 pm