Clever/Funny Song Lyrics

[Dougall]

Just to lighten the mood.
as I drove to work this morning, I was listening to Walter Trout's 'Turn Off The TV'

"The lady newscaster's lookin really kinda weird,
If she has another facelift, she's gonna have a beard"

Made me smile!

[CSI Wycoller]

The Lyons/Wallace band song "Coniston"

" Three weeks later in Manchester a girl stands unaware

Something white comes out of the tap-its Donald Campbell`s underwear ! "

great line !!

[ŽižkovClaret]

Nashville Pussy: Go to Hell

Im not a man who likes to get mad
If i do i dont feel too bad
Come some situations, you just cant let it be

Like last night, i caught my wife, f******g two of my friends
A smile on her face, a **** in each hand
Guilt runnin down her chin

or

John Shuttleworth - Manchester

You're like Manchester
Youve got strange ways

[tim_noone]

Tell you now I'll tell you firmly i never wanna go to fu..ing Burnley! J Cooper Clarke

[tim_noone]

Burnley is Babylon... Quite catchy and easy to sing.cricketfields missing a trick there.

[Brunlea]

Burnley is Babylon-loved that!

[tim_noone]

Burnley is Babylon-loved that!

Don't know why we don't run out to it and give it a whirl!

[Brunlea]

Yes but it could be deemed “cultural appropriation” I suppose !!

[Brunlea]

If you read the Guardian!

[tim_noone]

Yes but it could be deemed “cultural appropriation” I suppose !!

Well it does mention potatoe pies so we would be excused I'm sure.

[CharlieinNewMexico]

"I'm the most illegible bachelor in town"
"Yeah, that's why could never understand those stupid letters you wrote"

Billy Bragg

[Herts Clarets]

Son I'm thirty
I only went with your mother cos she's dirty

[HatfieldClaret]

Robbie Williams

"Oh Lord, make me pure.....but not yet."


Crap song but a great line.

[fidelcastro]

Two 'Aerosmith' lines spring to mind...

'Shut Up And Dance' - "Sex is like a gun, you aim, you shoot, you run!"

'Fever' - "The buzz you've been gettin' from the crack don't last, I'd rather be OD-in on the crack of her ass!"

[Lord Beamish]

Kirsty MacColl was a mine of witty and clever lyrics. Some were her own, some were written by others.
This one was written by Billy Bragg in A New England.
“I saw two shooting stars last night,
I wished on them but they were only satellites.
It’s wrong to wish on Space Hardware,
I wish, I wish, I wish you cared.”

This is one of her own, from Terry.
“You though you were such a smartie,
But Terry knows about Karate.
There’s other things he’s good at too,
Terry’s not a bit like you!”

[Corky]

I think I have mentioned it before; but from the mouth of George Clinton leader of that Parliament/Funkadelic thang.

Hey lady wont you be my dog
And I'll be your tree
And you can pee on me

[Grimsdale]

You could add just about the entire Half Man Half Biscuit catalogue to his thread but two that spring to mind are:
"I can't stand anymore, 'cause I can't stand anymore" - Friday Nights and the Gates are Low
"I'm going to bottle up my love and shake it up and down and spray it all over Jesus" - Ecclesiastical Perks

[piston broke]

Kirsty MacColl was a mine of witty and clever lyrics. Some were her own, some were written by others.
This one was written by Billy Bragg in A New England.
“I saw two shooting stars last night,
I wished on them but they were only satellites.
It’s wrong to wish on Space Hardware,
I wish, I wish, I wish you cared.”

This is one of her own, from Terry.
“You though you were such a smartie,
But Terry knows about Karate.
There’s other things he’s good at too,
Terry’s not a bit like you!”

Not specific lines but the humour oozes out of “In These Shoes” and “england2 colombia0”

[brigante]

Touch my heart
Touch my soul
Touch my deep and disused hole

Goat Girl

[ElectroClaret]

"They call her Natasha when she looks like Elsie,
I don't wanna go to Chelsea...."

Elvis C.

[COBBLE]

"We know you're old but you're kind
You're rich and your heart is dicky"

Sleeper