I heard about Theresa May and the fields of barley.

I did lots bit since my leg I don't do much. Depending on how bad some of the things some of you have done I will tell you.

When my dad got run over I laughed as I thought it was a joke but then he died which was bad.

opened this post

Is it a poem? A bad, modern poem?

A few years ago I was knocked over by a car in front of my child who thought it wad so funny they couldn't stop laughing. In a rage I beat the blighter so badly they ended up with brain damage.

Something I regret to this very day.

Pi$$ about at school. Distracted others from learning.

Once fished a bluey movie out the back of my wardrobe with a crucifix when I was a kid. The blue tac and ruler didn't work.

No comment!

Well, I was driving through some tunnel in Paris, got a bit jealous of a rich get passing me in a big flash Merc, so I rammed it off the road.

yorkyclaret wrote:Well, I was driving through some tunnel in Paris, got a bit jealous of a rich get passing me in a big flash Merc, so I rammed it off the road.

Did the world a favour mate.

Plead the Fifth

Me & the Mrs ate an apple from a tree once; nothing's been right since.

Diesel wrote:A few years ago I was knocked over by a car in front of my child who thought it wad so funny they couldn't stop laughing. In a rage I beat the blighter so badly they ended up with brain damage.

Something I regret to this very day.

OMG! That was you...?!?!? I read about that....the poor woman driver you beat to a pulp was unrecognisable by her family and she was still in a wheelchair....and I hope to God you are writing this from your prison cell!!!! Disgusting!!!

Where do I even start.

I was once caught short so badly I had to have a dump on the steps inside a multi-storey car park. Relief.

If this is the original and genuine bfcis4me I will be very happy.

ClaretEngineer wrote:Where do I even start.

I was once caught short so badly I had to have a dump on the steps inside a multi-storey car park. Relief.

i
I trod in it.....where do you live?

clarethrough wrote:i
I trod in it.....where do you live?

He lives in Burnley, Leicestershire.

FIGHT.

Hipper wrote:He lives in Burnley, Leicestershire.

FIGHT.

I will be up for it when I've finished cleaning my shoes.

clarethrough wrote:i
I trod in it.....where do you live?

Thats some grudge to bear for 22 years! I bet your shoes are absolutely humming!

Stole a Silver Astra from outside an house on Russell Terrace in Padiham.....

I once went to Blackburn.

ClaretEngineer wrote:I was once caught short so badly I had to have a dump on the steps inside a multi-storey car park. Relief.

Good lad. I once took a dump on the railway line near Padiham Power Station. Had to wipe off using a dock leaf. Necessity is the mother of all invention.

Sausage wrote:Good lad. I once took a dump on the railway line near Padiham Power Station. Had to wipe off using a dock leaf. Necessity is the mother of all invention.

I was with a friend, who i promptly dispatched to acquire some bog roll. Came back with his mum instead

Didn't get her name

Your mum

ClaretEngineer wrote:Thats some grudge to bear for 22 years! I bet your shoes are absolutely humming!

It could be worse. I caught a packet of dog excrement whilst strimming - you can imagine the effect!

Perhaps this is one of the worst things I've done as I was living at home at the time, so I just went home, took off the effected clothes and put them in the laundry bin without saying anything. My Mum didn't saying anything after doing the washing either so I reckon I got away with it (of course it could be that my clothes always smelled awful)!

Put Deep Heat on my (member) thinking it was lube , the cat wasn't best pleased either .

Moved to Essex it took 18months to escape back to Lancashire

A "Charlie Nicholas style" loose perm c1984. Tit.

I once put a dirty pair of knickers in a work mates coat pocket,and they were full of fanny batter.

bartons baggage wrote:I once put a dirty pair of knickers in a work mates coat pocket,and they were full of fanny batter.

That is disgusting!!!!! My address is as follows....

Once put a dead mouse in my apprentices butty box.

Moved back to Burnley after uni

bartons baggage wrote:I once put a dirty pair of knickers in a work mates coat pocket,and they were full of fanny batter.

I was gonna go to the chippy

Don't think I'll bother now

tim_noone wrote:That is disgusting!!!!! My address is as follows....

Please tell me they didn't belong to you

Dyched wrote:I was gonna go to the chippy

Don't think I'll bother now

One of the best and worst thigs I did was with an ex.

Our first promotion season I was seeing a girl who was/is a b*stards fan ... Her dad had a box at ewood and always invited me over which was an invitation I never took accepted.

Anyways, she got quite annoyed at me going up and down the country every other weekend following the clarets instead of spending time with her so half way through the season I said that if we get to Wembeley I will book us a hotel and we'll have a nice trip to London and I'd get us tickets to the game...... At that point I thought she'd start wanting Burnley to actually do well but I thought we had no chance of getting to there deep down.

Fast forward to the Reading game and she called me afterwards asking about when we'd be going - so I arranged it .... Managed to get us both a ticket to the game and then it came time to sort out our travel - One of the lads was running a few minibusses down so I called him and got told it was "lads only" on the minibusses. So I called the gf, told her that there'd been a mix up with the tickets and I hadnt gotten any and had to find some - called my mate back and asked if he knew anyone wanting to buy a ticket and went down with the lads........

We split up a couple of weeks later .......

I also said I would never get a tattoo but when I was with this girl I got "BFC" on my thigh so she'd have to see it whenever in the bedroom and her mouth was occupied.....

Moral of story, buy a train ticket for two if you want pussy lol

I once voted for the Green Party .

I once said "oh Gosh" when Andre missed a sitter

I had a **** on the centre circle at Valley Parade. Actually, that was up there with the best things I've ever done.

Edit - Sadly that's p*ss not not sh*t

We don't do bad things in Canada. We're a bunch of Goody Two Shoes.

Far too many to choose.