?

I don't know, mine can't speak.

A crab walked past a man walking sideways and asked "where are you going?" The man replied, "to the bus station. You?" The crab answered "I`m off to the crustacean".

SORRY and good night ごめんなさいとおやすみなさい

Is a turtle an aquatic tortoise?

Only in the mating season.

Crabs only think about food, survival and mating.

Other species modes of perambulation are anathema to them.

So the question is would a crab rather eat a turtle or f**k it

What's the difference between a crab with breast implants and a dirty bus stop?

Ones a busty crustacean, the other is a crusty bus station.....

claretdom wrote:So the question is would a crab rather eat a turtle or f**k it

The latter...nice n slow!

I know a bloke who caught crabs.

Is this question an example of lateral thinking?

What happens if you put a turtle on its back, does it just lie there until someone turns it back over?

Crabs are smart, a bit like spiders but suited and booted ready for a battle.

It's a logical question when you think about it. I was watching a programme the other night that suggested Jesus is buried in France. Now despite the obvious lack of link between the two. It's open to debate as to whether they think we walk sideways or Jesus even existed. I'd personally hedge my bets more on the crab than the Jesus theory...

It's definitely a metaphor for killing all Brexit voters, English people, Ashley Barnes, children hit with footballs, white Americans Tories, Donald Trump, newspaper reporters before they publish a story and all of CNN.

The last thing a crab would waste it's time doing is wondering why
a human was or wasn't walking bloody sideways.

Particularly if there was a nice juicy mussel or whelk nearby.

Bin Ont Turf wrote:It's definitely a metaphor for killing all Brexit voters, English people, Ashley Barnes, children hit with footballs, white Americans Tories, Donald Trump, newspaper reporters before they publish a story and all of CNN.

I am pretty sure IT is ok with CNN, FOX NEWS however.....

ExistentialWanderer wrote:I am pretty sure IT is ok with CNN, FOX NEWS however.....

You'd be wrong.

Imploding Turtle wrote:You'd be wrong.

You're a dark horse. Thought you'd be ok with CBS, CNN etc. Wonders never cease.

ExistentialWanderer wrote:You're a dark horse. Thought you'd be ok with CBS, CNN etc. Wonders never cease.

From what i can tell CNN has excellent journalistic standards. They issue corrections and retractions when they **** factchecks up, which is rare. But the reason they're **** is their sensationalism, which is a problem with all commercial 24-hour news to some extent, but CNN go ******* insane for drama. So much so that when the Malaysian Airlines plane went missing they had guests on who were seriously talking about the plane falling into a black hole. It was non-stop MH370 bullshit. Jon Stewart had a field week. I think they're also the ones who popularised angry shoutfests to catch channel-surfers with Crossfire which Jon Stewart (yes, he was my favourite news critic) got cancelled purely by appearing on it and telling the hosts how they're hurting America. One of those hosts recently got Bill O'Reilly's old gig at Fox.
They also thought giving Nancy Grace a national audience was a good idea. Google her show. If i do it i'll get angry. She was genuinely worse than any idiot Fox News gave a show to and they once had Glenn Beck.

CBS is fine but that's a TV network, not cable news. The only thing i remember them doing that was **** was not standing up for Dan Rather, and instead ******* him over.

MSNBC is mostly pants in terms of their shows but have good journalistic standards on the whole. They definitely have a liberal bias but they don't allow that bias to lead them into concealing facts, or just flat-out lying in the way a certain other channel will. They have some excellent reporters that come from NBC News like Richard Engel and Angela Mitchell. But the only people i'll go out of my way to listen to are Mika & Joe, Rachel Maddow (who is genuinely brilliant), and Chris Hayes.

Fox News is just cancer. Chris Wallace and Shep Smith are the only redeeming features of that **** fest. I said CNN are overly dramatic, but Fox News comes close with every little piece of **** thing that happens being a FOX NEWS ALERT. I think even the McDonald's McRib got the FOX NEWS ALERT treatment once. But the channel is the Daily Mail but in TV form. There's a War on Christmas every time someone refuses to give santa a blowjob. warr on Christianity. War on Conservatives. War on white people. They think refrigerators are luxury items that if you own then you can't be poor. It is the propaganda wing of the Republican party and on numerous times guests on their shows have accidently let that fact slip, most recently Ann Coulter in a pretty funny way. I'll look for the clip. They even have someone in Sean Hannity who presents a show on "Fox News" but claims he's allowed to lie and deliberately mislead his audience because he says he's "not a journalist". They also allowed Bill O'Reilly to get away with lying about seeing nuns being killed in El Salvador and something else involving lying about being on someone's doorstep when they killed themselves, without any kind of punishment, while at the same time calling out Brian Williams for lying about being on a helicopter that was under fire. Brian Williams was suspended and eventually resigned as anchor of Nightly News. Bill O'Reilly received no punishment or apparent internal investigation.
I could write a dissertation on that shitshow of a channel but suffice to say i don't think Fox has any journalistic integrity whatsoever.

What were we talking about again?

Crabs.

Yes that's how Ray Wilkins got his nick name

I had a chocolate croissant for breakfast this morning. There was plenty of chocolate but I found the pastry to be a little too dry.

6.5/10.