Is my woman broken?

starting_11 · Post by **starting_11** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 9:08 pm

I can ask her a simple yes or no answer and be greeted by at least 300 words.

After all, why say a sentence when a chapter will do??

Is this the usual?

Roosterbooster · Post by **Roosterbooster** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 9:09 pm

piston broke · Post by **piston broke** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 9:10 pm

Lucky you. I ask a question and without fail get a question in reply.

fidelcastro · Post by **fidelcastro** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 9:11 pm

Just for you...

https://youtu.be/wOSseI1hao8" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

4:20 · Post by **4:20** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 9:11 pm

Reboot?

Darthlaw · Post by **Darthlaw** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 9:14 pm

All women are mental, it's just to what degree that counts.

cricketfieldclarets · Post by **cricketfieldclarets** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 9:16 pm

Most answer a question that you havent asked with another question..

'What we having for tea?'
'What do you mean Burnley are playing in London next weekend?'

cricketfieldclarets · Post by **cricketfieldclarets** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 9:16 pm

Darthlaw wrote:All women are mental, it's just to what degree that counts.

They are indeed a different breed.

Volvoclaret · Post by **Volvoclaret** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 9:18 pm

Please Gentlemen, no sexist, negative comments. Please show that followers of the Clarets are modern, metrosexuals who support all forms of LDGTX and would never stoop to Bernard Mannings type of sexist humour.
or just stick something in her gob to shut her up.

starting_11 · Post by **starting_11** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 9:19 pm

Volvoclaret wrote:Please Gentlemen, no sexist, negative comments. Please show that followers of the Clarets are modern, metrosexuals who support all forms of LDGTX and would never stoop to Bernard Mannings type of sexist humour.
or just stick something in her gob to shut her up.

What do you suggest???

dsr · Post by **dsr** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 9:20 pm

I think most women would take it as a compliment to be told they were a different breed from men!

LordBob · Post by **LordBob** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 9:24 pm

Saw the post and at first thought it might be a plastic repair job or new batteries, hope she mends anyway utc.

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 9:24 pm

starting_11 wrote:What do you suggest???

Tim noone

IanMcL · Post by **IanMcL** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 9:26 pm

Women are from Venus.

Volvoclaret · Post by **Volvoclaret** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 9:27 pm

Something massive with an ego to match, you're right Tim Noone. Just kidding

gawthorpe_view · Post by **gawthorpe_view** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 9:58 pm

Volvoclaret wrote:Please Gentlemen, no sexist, negative comments. Please show that followers of the Clarets are modern, metrosexuals who support all forms of LDGTX and would never stoop to Bernard Mannings type of sexist humour.
or just stick something in her gob to shut her up.

Been scientifically proven* that ultra violet light reflecting off a long white dress triggers a chemical imbalance in the female brain.
The resulting symptoms present as megalomania, an inability to shut the f**k up and a tendency to shout the word 'NOTHING' if you enquire about her general well being and disposition.

[* Scientists may not have actually taken part in the study.]

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:01 pm

Volvoclaret wrote:Something massive with an ego to match, you're right Tim Noone. Just kidding

I do apologise...I thought I might put my "foot"in it!

starting_11 · Post by **starting_11** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:02 pm

LordBob wrote:Saw the post and at first thought it might be a plastic repair job or new batteries, hope she mends anyway utc.

Puncture repair kit you mean!

starting_11 · Post by **starting_11** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:03 pm

fidelcastro wrote:Just for you...

https://youtu.be/wOSseI1hao8" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Aye, she's got more rabbit than Sainsbury's for sure!

starting_11 · Post by **starting_11** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:04 pm

tim_noone wrote:Tim noone

I'll trade you for the horse!

Spiral · Post by **Spiral** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:05 pm

Folk who take to internet messageboards to moan about their missus usually only ever got married in the first place to prove to their mates (and perhaps themselves) that they aren't gay.

starting_11 · Post by **starting_11** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:07 pm

Spiral wrote:Folk who take to internet messageboards to moan about their missus usually only ever got married in the first place to prove to their mates (and perhaps themselves) that they aren't gay.

I'll prove it on your lass/mother/grandmother if you like?

gawthorpe_view · Post by **gawthorpe_view** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:08 pm

Spiral wrote:Folk who take to internet messageboards to moan about their missus usually only ever got married in the first place to prove to their mates (and perhaps themselves) that they aren't gay.

You do realise that these days you can be married and gay?

LoveCurryPies · Post by **LoveCurryPies** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:09 pm

If you’ve got a good woman, cherish her. Start every day with the question “what can I do to make today special for her?”

Watch her while she sleeps and wonder how you got so lucky.
When she wakes, greet her with a smile.

So many men lose their woman through stupidity, boredom or sadly illness. If that happens, you will spend the rest of your life replaying the happy days.

The secret to a successful relationship is don’t stop giving. Giving as in caring not presents. Giving in telling her she looks fabulous when she feels down.

It’s not easy.

There’s not a day go by when I don’t wish I could reach out and stroke her soft cheek or run my hand through her soft hair.

The Enclosure · Post by **The Enclosure** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:10 pm

Can't wait unril Spadesclaret reads this.

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:11 pm

Spiral wrote:Folk who take to internet messageboards to moan about their missus usually only ever got married in the first place to prove to their mates (and perhaps themselves) that they aren't gay.

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:12 pm

gawthorpe_view wrote:You do realise that these days you can be married and gay?

I'm definitely getting married ...bonus! Me and two lesbians

Spiral · Post by **Spiral** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:24 pm

starting_11 wrote:I'll prove it on your lass/mother/grandmother if you like?

Depends if you're got a thing for necrophilia, like.

starting_11 · Post by **starting_11** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:25 pm

I don't descriminate

Spiral · Post by **Spiral** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:27 pm

gawthorpe_view wrote:You do realise that these days you can be married and gay?

To be honest, my use of the word 'missus' inferred a gay bloke (the OP) pretending to be straight.

spadesclaret · Post by **spadesclaret** » Mon Feb 26, 2018 12:02 am

The Enclosure wrote:Can't wait unril Spadesclaret reads this.

I've read it, TheLovelyEnclosure, every last post. It is beyond comment, with the exception of LCP's post which is heartrending.

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Mon Feb 26, 2018 12:08 am

spadesclaret wrote:I've read it, TheLovelyEnclosure, every last post. It is beyond comment, with the exception of LCP's post which is heartrending.

Your majesty but my comments were in jest..

HiroshimaClaret · Post by **HiroshimaClaret** » Mon Feb 26, 2018 6:11 am

starting_11 wrote:I can ask her a simple yes or no answer and be greeted by at least 300 words.

After all, why say a sentence when a chapter will do??

Is this the usual?

She is a well-oiled machine by the sounds of things. Depending on her tone of voice she could be a Ferrari or a Vauxhall Nova.

UpTheClaretsFCBK · Post by **UpTheClaretsFCBK** » Mon Feb 26, 2018 11:27 am

My Mrs has started coming to away games with me, the questions she asks are quite brilliant.

“What are those men at the side doing?” (The Subs).

“Does Sean Dyche not get a seat?”

I hope she doesn’t ask about offside because even I don’t understand it anymore.

Godalmingclaret · Post by **Godalmingclaret** » Mon Feb 26, 2018 12:23 pm

I once took my missus to an away game. Millwall versus Burnley on Valentines Day. I don't know what stunned her more, Rocky screeching in her ear or being penned in for an hour after the game!!

She has never asked to come again.

fidelcastro · Post by **fidelcastro** » Mon Feb 26, 2018 12:50 pm

Is it just me or does LCP sound like Swiss Tony?

https://youtu.be/UxWnQBbIDgQ" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Mon Feb 26, 2018 1:03 pm

fidelcastro wrote:Is it just me or does LCP sound like Swiss Tony?

https://youtu.be/UxWnQBbIDgQ" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

LoveCurryPies · Post by **LoveCurryPies** » Mon Feb 26, 2018 4:42 pm

fidelcastro wrote:Is it just me or does LCP sound like Swiss Tony?

https://youtu.be/UxWnQBbIDgQ" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Excellent.....that is me to a tee. Especially the haircut!

bobinho · Post by **bobinho** » Mon Feb 26, 2018 5:31 pm

Mines absolutely crackers.

I used to argue every single point. Every one. Without exception. Only to have to do it again and again. Now I just concede. Easier allround.

HatfieldClaret · Post by **HatfieldClaret** » Mon Feb 26, 2018 6:52 pm

Get real.

Women don't understand women.

We've got no effin chance trying to understand them.

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Mon Feb 26, 2018 6:58 pm

HatfieldClaret wrote:Get real.

Women don't understand women.

We've got no effin chance trying to understand them.

Why he took that apple i will never know....

claretnproud · Post by **claretnproud** » Mon Feb 26, 2018 7:10 pm

not spoken to my woman for 6 months . didn't want to interrupt

.

Cornwallclaret · Post by **Cornwallclaret** » Mon Feb 26, 2018 7:37 pm

Godalmingclaret wrote:I once took my missus to an away game. Millwall versus Burnley on Valentines Day. I don't know what stunned her more, Rocky screeching in her ear or being penned in for an hour after the game!!

She has never asked to come again.

I brought my missus up from Cornwall for the Blackburn home game in the championship a few years ago.....not sure if it was the cold weather or the hostility etc and those barriers making it look like a war zone that put her off

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Mon Feb 26, 2018 8:51 pm

Cornwallclaret wrote:I brought my missus up from Cornwall for the Blackburn home game in the championship a few years ago.....not sure if it was the cold weather or the hostility etc and those barriers making it look like a war zone that put her off

Mmmm....Burnley grey wet miserable the compulsory Dog sh!t. Cornwall blue skies gold sandy beaches blue sea and the foamy white surf! If I never understand women again,I would understand this one.

HatfieldClaret · Post by **HatfieldClaret** » Mon Feb 26, 2018 9:02 pm

tim_noone wrote:Why he took that apple i will never know....

Coz he thought it was poisonous.

KateR · Post by **KateR** » Tue Feb 27, 2018 8:45 am

I believe it takes real talent to give a 600 word answer to a simple question, but occasionally change tactics to a withering look and no words.

piston broke · Post by **piston broke** » Tue Feb 27, 2018 9:33 am

UpTheClaretsFCBK wrote:My Mrs has started coming to away games with me, the questions she asks are quite brilliant.
“What are those men at the side doing?” (The Subs).
“Does Sean Dyche not get a seat?”
I hope she doesn’t ask about offside because even I don’t understand it anymore.

When Mrs Broke used to go on she would applaud a goal and go orgasmic over a corner!

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Tue Feb 27, 2018 1:15 pm

Just met a broken one in the shop...have you any flour love? No plurals......flour! The type you cook with she replied? No the type you pour over your head I responded... Ffs they are barking.

Tribesmen · Post by **Tribesmen** » Tue Feb 27, 2018 2:34 pm

Funny Mrs Tribes always enjoys trips over to Burnley to see a game . I always think it's the Indian food the night before the game which she enjoys the most .
I always say fancy a game then it's Flights and hotel booked within an hour , keen I can tell yer .

Cornwallclaret · Post by **Cornwallclaret** » Tue Feb 27, 2018 8:03 pm

tim_noone wrote:Mmmm....Burnley grey wet miserable the compulsory Dog sh!t. Cornwall blue skies gold sandy beaches blue sea and the foamy white surf! If I never understand women again,I would understand this one.

That's a very romantic vision of Cornwall there Tim....but unfortunately completely wrong