Getting beat up by your Dad.

LoveCurryPies · Post by **LoveCurryPies** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 10:19 am

People always say "Your Dad was a great bloke..." but behind closed doors he had a terrible temper. When he lost it he would punch out, usually at my head. By the time I was 15, I could pin him down until he cooled off. But even pinned down he would shout things like "I will beat you up so bad your mates won't recognise you!"

I never hit him back but on serval occasions came close. Anyway, I survived and seem ok.

But my question is...How common is it to get beaten by your Dad?

TVC15 · Post by **TVC15** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 10:22 am

Wow - was this question meant for that agony aunt off This Morning ?

That's some deep stuff to be putting on a football message board.

"Did you see the bears game last night...hell of a game....hell of a game" !!

LoveCurryPies · Post by **LoveCurryPies** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 10:29 am

TVC15 wrote:Wow - was this question meant for that agony aunt off This Morning ?
That's some deep stuff to be putting on a football message board.
"Did you see the bears game last night...hell of a game....hell of a game" !!

I posted here because I suspect it was / is far more common than thought. Also, many of the affected males probably don't visit other forums (I don't).

Maybe I should have mentioned it was back in the 70's, at a time when violence was popular on TV programmes like the Sweeney. Maybe we I've in more enlightened times?

ClaretMoffitt · Post by **ClaretMoffitt** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 10:33 am

Got a few slaps every now and again but it's all good.

Character building.

joey13 · Post by **joey13** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 10:34 am

Never heard my Dad swear let alone raise his hand to me .

SammyBoy · Post by **SammyBoy** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 10:45 am

TVC15 wrote:"Did you see the bears game last night...hell of a game....hell of a game" !!

I actually laughed out loud at that, great reference

In regards to your original question I suspect it will be a lot more common than people may think. Having taken a few good hidings growing up it's just made me determined that if I ever have kids I will never be violent towards them.

TVC15 · Post by **TVC15** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 10:47 am

Not trying to make light of this (well I was actually !)....it`s just a very serious subject.

I do think it was probably more "accepted" in the 70s and 80s partly because as you say society was very different. Remember teachers were themselves hitting children at school in these days.

It`s also a social thing - the 70s and 80s standards of living and the economic climate were much worse. At times like this and unemployment high then domestic violence against children and women is more prevalent.

Whilst I am sure there is probably less cases of getting beat up by your dad these days (I don`t actually know the facts as I doubt much of this gets reported) it will be still happening in far too many households.

Like I say a very serious subject - especially with the statistics about children brought up in a violent households having more of a tendency to be violent with their own children.

karatekid · Post by **karatekid** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 10:52 am

I remember a cartoon back in the day called ' Wait till your father gets home'. This was back in the days of corporal punishment. If the teachers could whack you then so could your dad. Mine did, but only when I deserved it mind.

bfcjg · Post by **bfcjg** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 10:52 am

Dad smacked me very hard a few times but never punched me. I also vowed never to smack my children which I didn't.

Steve1956 · Post by **Steve1956** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 10:56 am

My dad was a loving guy,can only ever really remember once get a good hiding from him,it was at Butlin's when I was about 7 years old and a little **** I deserved it!...I can't really imagine a child being beaten up by his dad....sad story LCP

ŽižkovClaret · Post by **ŽižkovClaret** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 10:56 am

Step Dad, soon stopped when we got bigger than him

Rick_Muller · Post by **Rick_Muller** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 10:57 am

Never hit by my dad - he was always the voice of reason and diplomacy. I often did the dance of the “don’t smack my arse” when my mum got going though

bfccrazy · Post by **bfccrazy** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 11:01 am

Can only remember a few clips off my dad but he had a rep for breaking more than his share of noses back in the day - It was more the fear of a hiding off him that kept me in check even though he never raised his hand to myself or siblings. He gave me a little clip for being a pri(k here and there which was probably deserved.

TVC15 · Post by **TVC15** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 11:08 am

Obviously big difference in getting a deserved clip round the ear for being a little sh-it as many of us kids naturally were than to getting "beat up" by your dad which no child deserves.

To give your own child who you are there to protect and love / look after a "beating" is sickening to say the least. Its abuse and just like other abuse "back in the day" it was given different names and swept under the carpet as "one of those things".

bartons baggage · Post by **bartons baggage** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 11:19 am

LoveCurryPies wrote:People always say "Your Dad was a great bloke..." but behind closed doors he had a terrible temper. When he lost it he would punch out, usually at my head. By the time I was 15, I could pin him down until he cooled off. But even pinned down he would shout things like "I will beat you up so bad your mates won't recognise you!"

I never hit him back but on serval occasions came close. Anyway, I survived and seem ok.

But my question is...How common is it to get beaten by your Dad?

It's a crappy feeling that,been, seen and had the bruises.
I certainly would not beat my kids though.
Sounds like your old man had his own demons,and thought his behavior was acceptable,because he probably took it off his father.

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 11:30 am

I can relate to the OP and can only assume the Second World War had some impact.As a kid I had a great childhood of freedom in the fifties and sixties.but violence prevailed from lots of men back then in the Home and in the schools. Some horrible blood letting Sh!t went on.

SammyBoy · Post by **SammyBoy** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 11:42 am

I was a kid in the 90s and 00s, so a lot more recent than some other experiences mentioned. In fact I think rather than improving my behaviour it actually led to resentment and a hatred of authority. As a teenager I could not stand being told what to do (even if the request was reasonable), to the point where I'd literally do anything other than what somebody had asked. I still struggle with it as an adult but I'm a lot better now at biting the bullet and keeping my mouth shut to avoid getting into trouble.

Imploding Turtle · Post by **Imploding Turtle** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 11:43 am

LoveCurryPies wrote:People always say "Your Dad was a great bloke..." but behind closed doors he had a terrible temper. When he lost it he would punch out, usually at my head. By the time I was 15, I could pin him down until he cooled off. But even pinned down he would shout things like "I will beat you up so bad your mates won't recognise you!"

I never hit him back but on serval occasions came close. Anyway, I survived and seem ok.

But my question is...How common is it to get beaten by your Dad?

For me it was my Mother. She was extremely violent towards me, but not my brothers (i was the oldest). Not just fists but anything she could get her hands on. I hit back when she came at me with a golf club. I moved out soon after and got my own place at 16 through something called Stonham Housing Association in Bishop Auckland. Aside from a phonecall about 14 years ago she's been dead to me since then.

I'd like to think the vast majority of parents aren't like ours, and from what i've seen of friends who have become mothers and fathers i believe that to be true.

Colburn_Claret · Post by **Colburn_Claret** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 11:54 am

My Dad used to leather me occasionally.
But he never beat me because Burnley lost, or he couldn't afford his fags, or he couldn't go to the bingo. He only ever leathered me when I deserved it.
Yet when I got in trouble, which was often, he was always there for me even if no one else was.
The best Dad in the world, and also my best friend. The thumping didn't mean sod all to me now, it just showed how much he cared.

FactualFrank · Post by **FactualFrank** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 12:03 pm

I had a few slaps but nothing more than what I deserved. I remember my mum slapping me, but I laughed because it didn't hurt - I then looked down and realised I had shorts on, so I got a slap on the legs - ouch!

IndigoLake · Post by **IndigoLake** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 12:12 pm

Imploding Turtle wrote:For me it was my Mother. She was extremely violent towards me, but not my brothers (i was the oldest). Not just fists but anything she could get her hands on. I hit back when she came at me with a golf club. I moved out soon after and got my own place at 16 through something called Stonham Housing Association in Bishop Auckland. Aside from a phonecall about 14 years ago she's been dead to me since then.

I'd like to think the vast majority of parents aren't like ours, and from what i've seen of friends who have become mothers and fathers i believe that to be true.

You've basically described my childhood! My Dad was great (I didn't live with him unfortunately). Abusive mother. Haven't spoken to her in 10 years.

ClaretTony · Post by **ClaretTony** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 12:17 pm

My dad had a temper but he always calmed down very quickly. But the only thing I can recall is getting the odd clip for misbehaving which was standard in the 1950s/60s, certainly nothing violent at all.

Someone mentioned they never heard their dad swear. I didn't either. He wasn't a drinker but always went to the Park View on a Friday night to play dominoes, he even came home before closing. He went in the tap room (men only) and when he passed away, one old bloke in there told me that my dad was the only bloke who went in who didn't swear.

He was a Claret too, that's where I got it from, and I appreciate just how lucky I was to have the mum and dad I had.

ClaretAndJew · Post by **ClaretAndJew** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 12:20 pm

An Uncle of mine used to paste me when I was younger, even kneeing me in the head a few times when I accidentally broke a bottle of medicine.

He also used to think it was funny to pull out my loose baby teeth, even if they weren't entirely ready to come out.

I didn't speak to him for years but my Mum guilt tripped me back into talking to him.

Funny old world ain't it?

Holmeclaret · Post by **Holmeclaret** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 12:32 pm

I got slapped in the face by various teachers. I was one of those who only had to look at his mates and I'd crack up laughing. Not appreciated by school staff who were trying to tell us off.

LoveCurryPies · Post by **LoveCurryPies** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 12:43 pm

When he died, I kind of forgave him or at least decided to forget the bad memories and focus on the good.

FactualFrank · Post by **FactualFrank** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 12:56 pm

Sometimes bad memories with a parent can make people make sure they never do the same things with their own children. It doesn't have to copy down generations.

Dante.El.Chunk · Post by **Dante.El.Chunk** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 1:03 pm

Mine was a very angry guy ended up going to the police after a broken ankle, fractured skull, it had gone on for years.

I often wondered what became of him.

He's in prison for arson.

If you remember a while back people were wondering why the police had Kiddrow lane blocked off, that was my dad setting fire to his flat in rose grove.

Would never beat my kids, or set fire to my flat or any combination of the two.

Imploding Turtle · Post by **Imploding Turtle** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 1:10 pm

Dante.El.Chunk wrote:Mine was a very angry guy ended up going to the police after a broken ankle, fractured skull, it had gone on for years.

I often wondered what became of him.

He's in prison for arson.

If you remember a while back people were wondering why the police had Kiddrow lane blocked off, that was my dad setting fire to his flat in rose grove.

Would never beat my kids, or set fire to my flat or any combination of the two.

Not even if your flat really deserved it?

LeadBelly · Post by **LeadBelly** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 1:34 pm

I might've had a couple of slapped legs when I was little but my dad never hit me otherwise in any way. He used to shout and "give me a look" very occasionally, neither did I hear him swear in terms of F-ing, C-ing etc. (Plenty of bloodys and bu**ers etc -especially down the match).
He saw plenty of violence in 1944/5 in France/Belgium/Holland etc and just wanted to live peacefully with his family after that.

I feel sorry for victims of domestic violence, families should be about for loving/respecting & protecting one another.

Tribesmen · Post by **Tribesmen** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 2:44 pm

Goodness i spent my early years beaten by everyone it seems .
My Dad it was the belt , hummmmm
School , cane , ruler , slapped just about anything really what they could hit you with .
Had punch ups with bullies that was fun .
Now come to think of it i am lucky to be alive .

Zlatan · Post by **Zlatan** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 3:02 pm

IanMcL · Post by **IanMcL** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 8:48 pm

That's not a dad, it's a thug and a bully...with big issues and no code of behaviour. Putting it bluntly, you were abused. He could be locked up.

Never hit by my dad but the fiercest voice I ever heard!

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 8:53 pm

IanMcL wrote:That's not a dad, it's a thug and a bully...with big issues and no code of behaviour. Putting it bluntly, you were abused. He could be locked up.

Never hit by my dad but the fiercest voice I ever heard!

Shouting is equally distressing ....to the mind.

IanMcL · Post by **IanMcL** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 8:59 pm

tim_noone wrote:Shouting is equally distressing ....to the mind.

He didn't do it all the time. Just the very odd occasion when I had basicly defied every reasonable request to go to bed, from my mum. So wee Ian would suddenly hear a full blooded Scottish roar, "Do as you're told and get take bed!" Hardly the stuff to make one a bag of nerves, just that short sharp reminder of the pecking order!

FCBurnley · Post by **FCBurnley** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 9:11 pm

joey13 wrote:Never heard my Dad swear let alone raise his hand to me .

Mine was the same

joey13 · Post by **joey13** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 9:29 pm

FCBurnley wrote:Mine was the same

Some of my mates ended up working with him , and said he never swore at work either, I wish I could have been the same .

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 9:35 pm

IanMcL wrote:He didn't do it all the time. Just the very odd occasion when I had basicly defied every reasonable request to go to bed, from my mum. So wee Ian would suddenly hear a full blooded Scottish roar, "Do as you're told and get take bed!" Hardly the stuff to make one a bag of nerves, just that short sharp reminder of the pecking order!

Understood...but I've seen adults shouting in kid faces... Muthas are good at it.makes me cringe.

IanMcL · Post by **IanMcL** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 10:07 pm

tim_noone wrote:Understood...but I've seen adults shouting in kid faces... Muthas are good at it.makes me cringe.

I agree wholeheartedly with that. Horrendous behaviour.

Inchy · Post by **Inchy** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 10:14 pm

My dad very rarely smacked me for misbehaving, which is incredible given the amount of trouble I was always in.

I don’t believe I will ever smack my son, although he’s only two, but I think it’s difficult to know what I would do if his behaviour is as bad as mine.

Personally smacking wasn’t the best form of punishment. I was much more fearful of a strong , loud rollicking.

The worst form of punishment, and by that I mean the best in terms of getting positive results, is seeing your parents emotionally upset due to bad behaviour. That always got me

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Sat Apr 28, 2018 10:20 pm

All a kid needs is Loving.....end of!

LoveCurryPies · Post by **LoveCurryPies** » Sun Apr 29, 2018 9:17 am

At least he didn't call me Sue.

(Millennials might need to google 'Johnny Cash')

evensteadiereddie · Post by **evensteadiereddie** » Sun Apr 29, 2018 9:40 am

Getting beaten up by their fathers on a regular basis goes a long way towards explaining the views and attitudes offered by some posters on this forum.

TVC15 · Post by **TVC15** » Sun Apr 29, 2018 9:44 am

evensteadiereddie wrote:Getting beaten up by their fathers on a regular basis goes a long way towards explaining the views and attitudes offered by some on here.........

You’ll have to explain this a bit more because on the face of it - it looks like a really ignorant and stupid thing to say.

taio · Post by **taio** » Sun Apr 29, 2018 9:45 am

evensteadiereddie wrote:Getting beaten up by their fathers on a regular basis goes a long way towards explaining the views and attitudes offered by some on here.........

Out of interest who is that aimed at and what do you mean?

evensteadiereddie · Post by **evensteadiereddie** » Sun Apr 29, 2018 9:48 am

Like father, like son.
The values of ignorance and intolerance more likely than not to be held by a violent pig of a father are, more likely than not, to be passed on.
Whether they stick is another matter.

TVC15 · Post by **TVC15** » Sun Apr 29, 2018 10:00 am

evensteadiereddie wrote:Like father, like son.
The values of ignorance and intolerance more likely than not to be held by a violent pig of a father are, more likely than not, to be passed on.
Whether they stick is another matter.

As I thought you are being extremely ignorant.
It is absolutely no fault of a child to have violent parents and “like father, like son” is a saying not a fact.

To come out with a statement saying this explains some of the attitudes of posters on this board is pathetic and actually very offensive to those who have been open enough to share their experiences.

It’s a bit like saying that you had ignorant and stupid parents and that explains why you would make such an ignorant and thick comment. When clearly just because you are thick and ignorant it does not mean your parents are !

evensteadiereddie · Post by **evensteadiereddie** » Sun Apr 29, 2018 10:06 am

So parents have no influence on their children ?
Wow, that's novel. There's a whole branch of Science that suggests they have.
If you overcome YOUR ignorance and short-sightedness, you'll notice that I remarked, "Whether they stick is another matter.", acknowledging the fact that these negative influences can be overcome.
Still, never mind that, eh, you stick to spouting your sanctimonious rubbish rather than paying attention to what was actually written.

Imploding Turtle · Post by **Imploding Turtle** » Sun Apr 29, 2018 10:18 am

evensteadiereddie wrote:So parents have no influence on their children ?
Wow, that's novel. There's a whole branch of Science that suggests they have.

Who suggested that? And what was it they said that suggested it?

TVC15 · Post by **TVC15** » Sun Apr 29, 2018 10:25 am

I know very well parents influence a child’s behaviour.

However, let’s not distract from the offensive point you made in your post - which is getting beat up / abused by your parents explains the attitudes and comments of some the posters on this board.

Why do you not tell us exactly who you are referring to (though i’m guessing it’s the people on this thread) and also let us all know WTF rationale you have for saying such a stupid, arrogant and offensive statement ?

TVC15 · Post by **TVC15** » Sun Apr 29, 2018 10:29 am

“Sanctimonious” ?

You arrogant offensive f-uck. Have a read of what you originally posted and tell me why on a thread like this you would come out with something like this.

What kind of person joins in a thread like this and thinks “I know i’ll stick the boot in a bit more” ?