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Jumpers for goal posts.

Girlfriends for cheerleaders

Marl pits

Expected this to be an anti Dyche thread based on the subject title

Warming up in front of the electric heater

Freezing cold communal showers and having your buttocks towel-whipped

And that was just the spectators!

I seem to have missed out when I was a lad. I can't remember having my buttocks whipped or girlfriends as cheerleaders, or some other combination of these things.

Dog turds in the penalty area and broken glass in the six yard box. Glad I wasn't a goalkeeper.

bob-the-scutter wrote:Freezing cold communal showers and having your buttocks towel-whipped

And that was just the spectators!

Luxury.

Having the power to award yourself a penalty at junior school

Whitewellbottom B....and Tot faggin t'ball from down t'hill.

The difficulties of getting a yellow card that it became a spectacle when the ref brandished it.

'...do you want to play football lad or do you want to some maths?..'

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Shadlock Cote on a wet winters day nobody really wanted to be there except Jackie Barnes turning up for the last 15 mins you tell him its nil nil and he asks you what it was at half time, miss him.

Playing on Lockyer or up Towneley on cold, muddy pitches with an old casey ball, hoping that when you had to head it your forehead didn't come against the laces on the ball. That could really hurt!

Memories of playing for the Rosehill on Lockyer with a dogs egg as the centre spot

“The balls landed at the feet of Duggie Brown but is swiftly passed to Norman Collier. Roy Hudd intercepts and boots the ball over Tommy Cooper’s head. Leonard Sachs has stopped the game and is having words with Ken Dodd for wasting time. The match starts again...”



Ooopsss, looks like I have misunderstood the title.

Bacup Rec,freezing our balls off.

Barlow Fold playing in 8 inches of mud.

Shadlock Cote getting covered in cow shite

Ten goals each way....
No...teas not 'til 6.
Make it 15 each way.

LordBob wrote:Shadlock Cote on a wet winters day nobody really wanted to be there except Jackie Barnes turning up for the last 15 mins you tell him its nil nil and he asks you what it was at half time, miss him.

Being a goal keeper I got peppered with questions from JB,and yes I remember the 0-0 conversations we had,great character sadly missed.

Having a fag and a can leant on the goal post when we where playing someone we used to beat 25-0

Fat coaches stinking of fags and booze shouting at you to "Push up" and then shouting when you concede a goal "WHY THE **** DID YOU PUSH UP?"

The smell of cut grass, deep heat, vics and mud in the changing room.

Firey Jack in your undies put there by a red carded team mate. Resulting in an uncomfortable time in the pub afterwards

I bet kids these days don`t play Cuppies and 3 and your in!

Slide tackles through lime wash painted lines. OUCH.

So cold you couldn't do your buttons up after a match.
Changing room locked, so change behind them and pile your clothes up.
Wet day, leather ball weighing a ton.
Full size goals and little keeper!
No net, so score and the ball goes miles.
Just in the team and the football shirt is an old adult rugby shirt and is the length of your body.
In the playground, 4 matches 1st to 4th year, in a very small area. 5th years turn up to play...All move down one...first years watch in envy.
Get tripped over in the playground and feel the pain as you scrape the asphalt!
Ball kicked over the fence...whip round for new ball.

To continue Ian's list:

When ball goes over the fence, the one who kicked it over had to go and get it, unless he was 'the tough boy', then he would 'persuade' someone else to go.
When ball goes over the fence, irate householder threatens to put knife in ball but never did.
When ball goes over fence and lands in thorns: attempts later to repair ball by using a knife heated on a gas stove to melt the plastic over the hole - this was the good old Frido ball.

Those few seconds as your ball glided towards your neighbour's window.

Ive played a match so cold we filled the sinks with hot water and queued to drop your gonads in it, heaven.

25 a side, next goal wins.

Wearing this type of boot.

Hammering the studs in with a lump hammer!

Hipper wrote:I seem to have missed out when I was a lad. I can't remember having my buttocks whipped or girlfriends as cheerleaders, or some other combination of these things.

That's dreadful! Did you have a note from yer mum excluding you?

chipbutty wrote:I bet kids these days don`t play Cuppies and 3 and your in!

Double Cuppies!

60's!

Dogger up the leg of your shorts when making a sliding tackle, that still makes me shudder just remembering it.

Having rip raps thrown through the dressing room window when just out of the shower.

Playing against a wall with the goal drawn on and arguing the whether the mud\Water\Dust ball imprint on the post or crossbar wouldve gone in in real life

Steve1956 wrote:

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Wearing this type of boot.

Billy's Boots

Playing on until it's so dark that you can't see your hand never mind the ball.

Stoneyholme Junior Schoolyard was the perfect place for football. There were some epic games played in there outside of school hours. 10 change round games every night and all day Saturday and Sunday in the 60s and early 70s

Playing with jeans on because you felt a Burke if you wore shorts.
Getting cows off the pitch so you could start the game.
Running half a mile by a river hoping the ball would come to the edge.
Games starts at 9 in the morning and finished when dark, 30+ on each side coming and going with dinner and tea time breaks.
Standing on the ‘baby line’ and scoring shot 40 goals.

Not football I know but when I was young and foolish I used to fill in for our local rugby team if they were short some weeks as my mate used to play for them.
The club had just started so they hired a field off a local farmer who kept cows on it during the week, suffice to say being at the bottom of a ruck was never, ever a happy time

Chobulous wrote:Billy's Boots

Billy'Boots you got me racking my brain now..Beano,Dandy, or Wizzer?

Steve1956 wrote: Billy'Boots you got me racking my brain now..Beano,Dandy, or Wizzer?

It was in SHOOT wasn't it?

Come on guys which comic was Billy's Boot's in?

Steve1956 wrote:Come on guys which comic was Billy's Boot's in?

Scorcher, then Tiger, then Eagle.

The Beano character was Ball Boy.

There was also Alf Tupper, the goal keeper that always had a clean sheet. He used to ride a motor bike with a sidecar made from an old bath.