Just to lighten the mood.
as I drove to work this morning, I was listening to Walter Trout's 'Turn Off The TV'

"The lady newscaster's lookin really kinda weird,
If she has another facelift, she's gonna have a beard"

Made me smile!

The Lyons/Wallace band song "Coniston"

" Three weeks later in Manchester a girl stands unaware

Something white comes out of the tap-its Donald Campbell`s underwear ! "

great line !!

Nashville Pussy: Go to Hell

Im not a man who likes to get mad
If i do i dont feel too bad
Come some situations, you just cant let it be

Like last night, i caught my wife, f******g two of my friends
A smile on her face, a **** in each hand
Guilt runnin down her chin

or

John Shuttleworth - Manchester

You're like Manchester
Youve got strange ways

Tell you now I'll tell you firmly i never wanna go to fu..ing Burnley! J Cooper Clarke

Burnley is Babylon... Quite catchy and easy to sing.cricketfields missing a trick there.

Burnley is Babylon-loved that!

Brunlea wrote:Burnley is Babylon-loved that!

Don't know why we don't run out to it and give it a whirl!

Yes but it could be deemed “cultural appropriation” I suppose !!

If you read the Guardian!

Brunlea wrote:Yes but it could be deemed “cultural appropriation” I suppose !!

Well it does mention potatoe pies so we would be excused I'm sure.

"I'm the most illegible bachelor in town"
"Yeah, that's why could never understand those stupid letters you wrote"

Billy Bragg

Son I'm thirty
I only went with your mother cos she's dirty

Robbie Williams

"Oh Lord, make me pure.....but not yet."


Crap song but a great line.

Two 'Aerosmith' lines spring to mind...

'Shut Up And Dance' - "Sex is like a gun, you aim, you shoot, you run!"

'Fever' - "The buzz you've been gettin' from the crack don't last, I'd rather be OD-in on the crack of her ass!"

Kirsty MacColl was a mine of witty and clever lyrics. Some were her own, some were written by others.
This one was written by Billy Bragg in A New England.
“I saw two shooting stars last night,
I wished on them but they were only satellites.
It’s wrong to wish on Space Hardware,
I wish, I wish, I wish you cared.”

This is one of her own, from Terry.
“You though you were such a smartie,
But Terry knows about Karate.
There’s other things he’s good at too,
Terry’s not a bit like you!”

I think I have mentioned it before; but from the mouth of George Clinton leader of that Parliament/Funkadelic thang.

Hey lady wont you be my dog
And I'll be your tree
And you can pee on me

You could add just about the entire Half Man Half Biscuit catalogue to his thread but two that spring to mind are:
"I can't stand anymore, 'cause I can't stand anymore" - Friday Nights and the Gates are Low
"I'm going to bottle up my love and shake it up and down and spray it all over Jesus" - Ecclesiastical Perks

Lord Beamish wrote:Kirsty MacColl was a mine of witty and clever lyrics. Some were her own, some were written by others.
This one was written by Billy Bragg in A New England.
“I saw two shooting stars last night,
I wished on them but they were only satellites.
It’s wrong to wish on Space Hardware,
I wish, I wish, I wish you cared.”

This is one of her own, from Terry.
“You though you were such a smartie,
But Terry knows about Karate.
There’s other things he’s good at too,
Terry’s not a bit like you!”

Not specific lines but the humour oozes out of “In These Shoes” and “england2 colombia0”

Touch my heart
Touch my soul
Touch my deep and disused hole

Goat Girl

"They call her Natasha when she looks like Elsie,
I don't wanna go to Chelsea...."

Elvis C.

"We know you're old but you're kind
You're rich and your heart is dicky"

Sleeper