got a neighbour who I fancy. only spoke to her 2 or 3 times as she is a few doors down. I rarely see her in the street so difficult to meet her. I think she is perhaps too good looking for me but still want to ask the question.
I am sure many blokes on here have had same scenario so interested to hear your views and outcomes. Also interested to hear from you ladies on the best way to approach this delicate situation. She will be mid forties as her daughter has just left home. I am 52 if it makes any difference.
There is a prize for the best answer if it works. A new hat and a wedding invite .

claretnproud wrote:got a neighbour who I fancy. only spoke to her 2 or 3 times as she is a few doors down. I rarely see her in the street so difficult to meet her. I think she is perhaps too good looking for me but still want to ask the question.
I am sure many blokes on here have had same scenario so interested to hear your views and outcomes. Also interested to hear from you ladies on the best way to approach this delicate situation. She will be mid forties as her daughter has just left home. I am 52 if it makes any difference.
There is a prize for the best answer if it works. A new hat and a wedding invite .

Mid 40s you say..not on the game is she just a thought, have to be careful you know.

just say " look, whilst I don't have the wit and eloquence of Wile E Coyote, I have got some spare change, and will happily buy you a cherry B if you come out with me.

Mate . Beautiful women say that they are hardly ever approached by men. Getting them is not hard but keeping them is . High maintenance girls take their toll on you.
Take your time . Find out about her . Ask about . Go to places she goes. Don't rush . Check that you have what she wants . Girls say they want humour. Friendliness. A guy with a decent job. Dressed nice. Clean . Nothing there that's impossible. Confidence is number one. Grow balls the size of beachballs and get in there . What have you got to lose ? Don't put her on a pedestal . Strut your stuff

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_PMnQLXMVyQ" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Follow this advice can’t go wrong.

personally i would ignore the growing of giant plums, that would make you look odd, beachball size is not a great look even with a nice suit.

Be a real gentleman and simply slap your tackle through her letterbox and shout in a Fred Flintone style bellow “ come and get it b1tch” while hoping she doesn’t have a dog or her mum or bf are round ! Thank me later

Post a photo of your cock through the door and write your hiuse number on the back

Spaceman wrote:Mate . Beautiful women say that they are hardly ever approached by men. Getting them is not hard but keeping them is . High maintenance girls take their toll on you.
Take your time . Find out about her . Ask about . Go to places she goes. Don't rush . Check that you have what she wants . Girls say they want humour. Friendliness. A guy with a decent job. Dressed nice. Clean . Nothing there that's impossible. Confidence is number one. Grow balls the size of beachballs and get in there . What have you got to lose ? Don't put her on a pedestal . Strut your stuff

My boss always tells me “find the most beautiful girl in the bar and buy her a drink and walk away. Before you know it she’ll be trying to find you”.

My usual method is to stalk her, nick her underwear, use heavy breathing phone calls and send her letters with obscene suggestions.

Others will then arrange for you to meet, often in court in my experience.

Dyched wrote:My boss always tells me “find the most beautiful girl in the bar and buy her a drink and walk away. Before you know it she’ll be trying to find you”.

Though this is a good tactic at a bar - doing it at her house will probably scare her.

This could be an epic thread. Some brilliant answers.

Dyched wrote:My boss always tells me “find the most beautiful girl in the bar and buy her a drink and walk away. Before you know it she’ll be trying to find you”.

Ha, I love the psychological angle of that.

FactualFrank wrote:Ha, I love the psychological angle of that.

I thought it was good advice. But it probably makes them think your loaded and got money to burn

Dyched wrote:I thought it was good advice. But it probably makes them think your loaded and got money to burn

Possibly. And it means you can't leave the bar until they do

If you are going to take some of the above advice ... and you do decide to shove some large plums down your shorts... make sure you push them down the front ... because down the back and she might think the sight of her has made you **** yourself.

Whatever you decide I hope it works out for you.

Its always best to be yourself and a good rule to follow is "if you cannot be good in bed at least be funny" as laughter always breaks the ice...
But dressing up as a Clown might not guarantee results if she suffers from Coulrophobia...

ask her for a dance and if she says no then ask in that case can I have a **** in your handbag ?

Find an excuse to pop round or start a conversation with her if you can. Example if you see her out jogging or something you can pretend you're into it as well and start timing your trips out to coincide with hers.

Dyched wrote:My boss always tells me “find the most beautiful girl in the bar and buy her a drink and walk away. Before you know it she’ll be trying to find you”.

Is your boss a character from a 90s chick flick?

claretnproud wrote:got a neighbour who I fancy. only spoke to her 2 or 3 times as she is a few doors down. I rarely see her in the street so difficult to meet her. I think she is perhaps too good looking for me but still want to ask the question.
I am sure many blokes on here have had same scenario so interested to hear your views and outcomes. Also interested to hear from you ladies on the best way to approach this delicate situation. She will be mid forties as her daughter has just left home. I am 52 if it makes any difference.
There is a prize for the best answer if it works. A new hat and a wedding invite .

You didn't say if she was married - that could be a major stumbling block.

houseboy wrote:You didn't say if she was married - that could be a major stumbling block.

Not these days.

FactualFrank wrote:Not these days.

From the blokes point of view it is. Someone suggested sticking your cock through the letter box, that could be a majorly bad idea if there was a jealous husband at the other side with a large knife (or a pitbull).

Dyched wrote:My boss always tells me “find the most beautiful girl in the bar and buy her a drink and walk away. Before you know it she’ll be trying to find you”.

Not if she is just waiting for her minted boyfriend Chad to come back from having a waz?

Alanstevensonsgloves wrote:Not if she is just waiting for her minted boyfriend Chad to come back from having a waz?

Well then she'd still be trying to find you, "Chad, that's the creep over there"

Well CnP after getting a more then interesting number of replies, which one do you think you will employ with her?

I suspect most of you are single or have had multiple marriages.

houseboy wrote:From the blokes point of view it is. Someone suggested sticking your cock through the letter box, that could be a majorly bad idea if there was a jealous husband at the other side with a large knife (or a pitbull).

Are you suggesting that there are circumstances when it might not be a majorly bad idea?

Dyched wrote:My boss always tells me “find the most beautiful girl in the bar and buy her a drink and walk away. Before you know it she’ll be trying to find you”.

Does he also say things like; “Selling a car is a lot like making love to a beautiful woman.”?

Tall Paul wrote:Are you suggesting that there are circumstances when it might not be a majorly bad idea?

Er, umm, well, seeing as you asked and.....should the circumstance ever arise and.....since I have never found myself in that situation, I think I can definitely, with a fair amount of certainty but without being absolutely 100%, say there might not be any good time for it. Of course there may be some bad lads out there that think differently to me and for them I would say that if you are going to (and you shouldn't really should you) make sure the husband isn't a karate instructor with a short fuse and a tendency to jealousy, otherwise you might just find yourself having to make a quick exit out the back door staggering up an unlit lane in the hope he didn't see you sneaking out like a thief in the night. Those un-made-up roads can play havoc with the feet I'm told.

Ask her if she charges by the hour, or if it's a flat rate.

Spaceman wrote:Mate . Beautiful women say that they are hardly ever approached by men. Getting them is not hard but keeping them is . High maintenance girls take their toll on you.
Take your time . Find out about her . Ask about . Go to places she goes. Don't rush . Check that you have what she wants . Girls say they want humour. Friendliness. A guy with a decent job. Dressed nice. Clean . Nothing there that's impossible. Confidence is number one. Grow balls the size of beachballs and get in there . What have you got to lose ? Don't put her on a pedestal . Strut your stuff

well I am liking this approach so far south west claret. Unfortunately though where does finding out about her begin to look like stalking? I am favouring a few accidental meetings including parking near her car and taking half an hour to scrape ice off my windscreen. That may look strange though next july so hope a plan works soon .

Knock on her door explaining youve got a spare ticket next to you for the Chelsea or Liverpool game and would she like to come and explain the after match meal is at Aldos

Knock on her door and ask.

Worst case she says no, and you can move on.

Next time you see her say “Hi, I’m Claretnproud from up the road.I was hoping you were single so I can ask you out sometime? If she replies “what a coincidence, I’m(insert UTC username) and was just reading your thread”. You’ll know if it will last or not.

If shes mid forties and from Burnley the Rockets probably been there.. Ask her if shes ever been banged in the back of Vauxhall Astra on a B plate in the early 90s if she says yes stay well clear...

claretnproud wrote:well I am liking this approach so far south west claret. Unfortunately though where does finding out about her begin to look like stalking? I am favouring a few accidental meetings including parking near her car and taking half an hour to scrape ice off my windscreen. That may look strange though next july so hope a plan works soon .

Well yes you could do well with that one but just had a thought, are you on speaking terms with any of your other neighbours if so they may know all about her.

claretnproud wrote:well I am liking this approach so far south west claret. Unfortunately though where does finding out about her begin to look like stalking? I am favouring a few accidental meetings including parking near her car and taking half an hour to scrape ice off my windscreen. That may look strange though next july so hope a plan works soon .

Sure, someone else suggested jogging, go past her house every day so a double win, you may bump into her , smile and say hello. Extre bonus she will see that you look after yourself .
Focus on yourself most, get fit, dress well, no ******* jogging bottoms or baseball caps . No tops with whoever made its logo splashed across the front. Mind you if she dresses in that kind of gear and there’s a sofa in her garden disregard my advice .

RocketLawnChair wrote:If shes mid forties and from Burnley the Rockets probably been there.. Ask her if shes ever been banged in the back of Vauxhall Astra on a B plate in the early 90s if she says yes stay well clear...

My man ! High five

I will be making subtle enquiries. I know the window cleaner quite well so will be asking if he has seen a boyfriend in tow. Fairly sure she is living alone. I spoke to her a few weeks ago and she told me her daughter had just moved out. Think I will ask her how she is coping living on her own and guage it from there.

Spaceman wrote:Sure, someone else suggested jogging, go past her house every day so a double win, you may bump into her , smile and say hello. Extre bonus she will see that you look after yourself .
Focus on yourself most, get fit, dress well, no ******* jogging bottoms or baseball caps . No tops with whoever made its logo splashed across the front. Mind you if she dresses in that kind of gear and there’s a sofa in her garden disregard my advice .

she dresses well. High heels and job lot. very fit and trim. I will need to be at my very best to crack this one. Hope so as living the single life starting to get boring now.

claretnproud wrote:I will be making subtle enquiries. I know the window cleaner quite well so will be asking if he has seen a boyfriend in tow. Fairly sure she is living alone. I spoke to her a few weeks ago and she told me her daughter had just moved out. Think I will ask her how she is coping living on her own and guage it from there.

Ah the window cleaner he must have seen a thing or two on his rounds good thinking. I assume she knows that you are single..you are single aren’t you ?

claretnproud wrote:I will be making subtle enquiries. I know the window cleaner quite well so will be asking if he has seen a boyfriend in tow. Fairly sure she is living alone. I spoke to her a few weeks ago and she told me her daughter had just moved out. Think I will ask her how she is coping living on her own and guage it from there.

Asking the window cleaner sounds creepy as ****

claretnproud wrote:she dresses well. High heels and job lot. very fit and trim. I will need to be at my very best to crack this one. Hope so as living the single life starting to get boring now.

Single life boring ? I take it you have never holidayed in Thailand then ?

Make sure her husband isn't in earshot then pluck up the corage. Failing that order something from Amazon,when it's delivered pay courier to drop it at her house then you can nip across to collect it,ice breaker. Tell her it's an extra large condom.

South West Claret. wrote:Ah the window cleaner he must have seen a thing or two on his rounds good thinking. I assume she knows that you are single..you are single aren’t you ?

extremely. I bet there are a few forty something ladies on here who would enjoy a bit of wining and dining and all the good things they never had with their x hubby. So difficult to meet a nice lass in real life nowadays.

Tell me her address and I’ll ask for you if you like

Ask her what her name is. Then a few casual words and build it up from there. If she's interested you'll know.

Stayingup wrote:Ask her what her name is. Then a few casual words and build it up from there. If she's interested you'll know.

And it definitely helps if you are good at staying up.

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/karen-matthew ... 12110.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
It's not her is it ? She keeps moving