I've been thinking that employing a maid may be a good way forward for me.

Wondering what the form may be, and if anyone can offer any good pointers.

It would have to be a "live in" kind of deal involving all the duties you'd normally expect of a wife.(bar one, obviously..well...initially at least)

Can I reasonably ask for a picture if I advertise?... I'm very particular about appearance, tending to prefer ladies with a more, shall we say, "generous" figure. I'd be happy to advise re my preferences in terms of their wardrobe..maybe even to subsidise some tasteful additions.

I dont want to end up interviewing any horny-handed old crones..or worse still some shaven headed feminist in doc martens. Is there a good way to weed these sorts out before I start?

Obviously, there's always a chance that these kind of situations can "develop" and expectations can be raised. Should I make it clear at the outset that there will be no prospect of any future obligations on my part?

All advice welcome.

You seem to be hinting at needing a whore, not a maid. Just be honest from the outset and go on some mail order bride site

Your request above is confused as at one point you are not interested in any relationship - sex, and then you might be, so much so that you are filtering the choices to someone physically desirable.

Do you want someone to service you sexually or do you want a helper around the house? Or both?

Pick the bones out of them then FB

I'm going to assume that link is NSFW

You sound like a dirty old man to me , the worst kind.

claretjohn33505 wrote:You sound like a dirty old man to me , the worst kind.

Weinstein

Hells teeth this message board can be weird sometimes.

Just glad I wasn’t having my lunch when I read the OP

I want to believe the OP is just a wind up. The alternative is unsettling and dripping slime.

Interesting cast, Fats. You bored on that island?

I’m pleased he included (non-football) just to clear up any possible confusion.

I lived in Thailand for a few years and it is pretty normal over there. She used to ask me on pay day (usually a Friday) if there was anything else she could do for me. She was looking to earn extra money so I would get a massage from her. There was a few issues with the language barrier on occasions but the arrangement suited both parties. Her cleaning was also very good which could have been a bit of a problem if it wasn't as I would have had to crack the whip and with her sleeping in my spare bedroom three times a week it would have felt uncomfortable. She also did the cooking and ironing.

TheFamilyCat wrote:I’m pleased he included (non-football) just to clear up any possible confusion.

TVC15 wrote:Hells teeth this message board can be weird sometimes.

Just glad I wasn’t having my lunch when I read the OP

Have you any evidence to back that up?...

fatboy47 wrote:I've been thinking that employing a maid may be a good way forward for me.

Wondering what the form may be, and if anyone can offer any good pointers.

It would have to be a "live in" kind of deal involving all the duties you'd normally expect of a wife.(bar one, obviously..well...initially at least)

Can I reasonably ask for a picture if I advertise?... I'm very particular about appearance, tending to prefer ladies with a more, shall we say, "generous" figure. I'd be happy to advise re my preferences in terms of their wardrobe..maybe even to subsidise some tasteful additions.

I dont want to end up interviewing any horny-handed old crones..or worse still some shaven headed feminist in doc martens. Is there a good way to weed these sorts out before I start?

Obviously, there's always a chance that these kind of situations can "develop" and expectations can be raised. Should I make it clear at the outset that there will be no prospect of any future obligations on my part?

All advice welcome.

Fat Larry Banned.

Sounds like it's a Thai bride you're looking for rather than a maid.

FactualFrank wrote:Have you any evidence to back that up?...

The OP?

I can see this thread running a while .

Hands off my Lithuanian. She's bloody brilliant.

A man needs a maid (Mr N Young).

My life is changing in so many ways
I don't know who to trust anymore
There's a shadow running through my days
Like a beggar going from door to door.

I was thinking that maybe I'd get a maid
Find a place nearby for her to stay.
Just someone to keep my house clean,
Fix my meals and go away.

A maid.
A man needs a maid.
A maid.

I employed an eastern European lady to do the hoovering but had to get rid, turns out she was a Slovak

I mean in all seriousness we have a maid and a gardener so if you need any advice you know where I am.

I used to have a goblin teasmaid..

conyoviejo wrote:I used to have a goblin teasmaid..

Isnt that what FB is looking for ....

A maid who at some point may take up goblin after making the tea

fatboy47 wrote:I've been thinking that employing a maid may be a good way forward for me.

Wondering what the form may be, and if anyone can offer any good pointers.

It would have to be a "live in" kind of deal involving all the duties you'd normally expect of a wife.(bar one, obviously..well...initially at least)

Can I reasonably ask for a picture if I advertise?... I'm very particular about appearance, tending to prefer ladies with a more, shall we say, "generous" figure. I'd be happy to advise re my preferences in terms of their wardrobe..maybe even to subsidise some tasteful additions.

I dont want to end up interviewing any horny-handed old crones..or worse still some shaven headed feminist in doc martens. Is there a good way to weed these sorts out before I start?

Obviously, there's always a chance that these kind of situations can "develop" and expectations can be raised. Should I make it clear at the outset that there will be no prospect of any future obligations on my part?

All advice welcome.

I am sure there are websites you can advertise on FB why not google it

Bosscat wrote:I am sure there are websites you can advertise on FB why not google it

Always keen to max up on available info Bosscat...it's just the PC brigade and the womens rights lobby with their thinly disguised bouts of penis envy that I'm keen to steer clear of.

I'm as broad-minded as the next chap, but some of these tattooed sights with rings around every orifice, scare the bejaysus out of me. Seems that simply wanting something a bit easier on the eye is no longer acceptable.

fatboy47 wrote:Always keen to max up on available info Bosscat...it's just the PC brigade and the womens rights lobby with their thinly disguised bouts of penis envy that I'm keen to steer clear of.

I'm as broad-minded as the next chap, but some of these tattooed sights with rings around every orifice, scare the bejaysus out of me. Seems that simply wanting something a bit easier on the eye is no longer acceptable.

claret3561 wrote:I employed an eastern European lady to do the hoovering but had to get rid, turns out she was a Slovak

Have you tried the Polish?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bORW_YEmHwY" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

fatboy47 wrote:Always keen to max up on available info Bosscat...it's just the PC brigade and the womens rights lobby with their thinly disguised bouts of penis envy that I'm keen to steer clear of.

I'm as broad-minded as the next chap, but some of these tattooed sights with rings around every orifice, scare the bejaysus out of me. Seems that simply wanting something a bit easier on the eye is no longer acceptable.

Is your position open for CDs? The Penis Admiration society could be just up your street.

ZizkovClaret wrote:The OP?

Way over your head pal. Way over your head.

TheFamilyCat wrote:Have you tried the Polish?

As long as he isn't Russian into things.......

Bosscat, do you fancy being my maid for 4 weeks of the year? A back massage will be part of the contract.

FactualFrank wrote:Bosscat, do you fancy being my maid for 4 weeks of the year? A back massage will be part of the contract.

Nah ask Steve m8 I am way way too busy

Bosscat wrote:Nah ask Steve m8 I am way way too busy

Was it the back that put you off?

FactualFrank wrote:Was it the back that put you off?

Not my scene m8 tbh

conyoviejo wrote:I used to have a goblin teasmaid..

Good gobbler or good tea?

Good god, I think I've seen it all on this board now. Just back from a weekend break and return to this.

Probably takes the biscuit for me in terms of cringeworthy content.

Good luck with the search though.

FactualFrank wrote:Way over your head pal. Way over your head.

Sure it was Muchacho x

IanMcL wrote:Good gobbler or good tea?

Both..