• Gwyneth Paltrow

Posted: **Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:10 pm**

Selling Vagina scented candles..

Straight from the Manx kipper factory .

https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/2020/0 ... dle-vagina

Posted: **Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:15 pm**

Jesus

Posted: **Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:20 pm**

Mines coming on Friday, I’ll let you know what it’s like as long as my gentleman’s paste doesn’t put it out.

Posted: **Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:20 pm**

Roses are red,
And there's no scent finer.

Posted: **Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:30 pm**

I'd rather find out how it smelled in person tbh

Posted: **Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:33 pm**

Somethingfishy wrote: ↑
Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:30 pm
I'd rather find out how it smelled in person tbh

. thinks it may smell like the above posters username.

Posted: **Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:37 pm**

Any scoffing or negative comment and you're a misogynist. No mistake.

Posted: **Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:44 pm**

"Scoffing"

Posted: **Mon Jan 13, 2020 8:33 pm**

Jim Royle has brought out an aftershave..

"My Arse"

Posted: **Mon Jan 13, 2020 8:35 pm**

it's called the Grimsby glimmer.

Posted: **Mon Jan 13, 2020 8:36 pm**

the candle contains hints of “geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed.”

Sounds like the guff you read on all this new age artisanal gin.

Can’t say I’ve ever some across one that smells like pot pourri. Savoury yes, florally fragrant no.

Posted: **Mon Jan 13, 2020 8:55 pm**

does it say anywhere how she intends to market them ? definately needs a catchy brand name.

I could help her design the wick.

Posted: **Mon Jan 13, 2020 9:21 pm**

Just asking for a friend... are they edible...? And do they actually tas.... smell like Gwyneth’s furrow...?

Posted: **Mon Jan 13, 2020 9:48 pm**

Rather unsurprisingly Gwyneths snatch aroma is not “ eau du fishmarket” but pretty much like your regular scrubber ...
“geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed.”

I often thought the same at 4am lapping away drunkenly on some tarts snatch after 14 pints.

Posted: **Tue Jan 14, 2020 9:27 am**

So it's not gonna smell like the toilet seat on a Grimsby trawler then?

Posted: **Tue Jan 14, 2020 9:29 am**

snapcrackleandpop wrote: ↑
Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:20 pm
Mines coming on Friday, I’ll let you know what it’s like as long as my gentleman’s paste doesn’t put it out.

Gentlemen's paste

Posted: **Tue Jan 14, 2020 9:37 am**

[quote=AlargeClaret post_id=1184865 time=1578952091 user_id=3700

I often thought the same at 4am lapping away drunkenly on some tarts snatch after 14 pints.
[/quote]
Have you ever considered writing romantic fiction

Posted: **Tue Jan 14, 2020 9:50 am**

AlargeClaret wrote: ↑
Mon Jan 13, 2020 9:48 pm
I often thought the same at 4am lapping away drunkenly on some tarts snatch after 14 pints.

Hi, Alistair. I thought you saved your best stuff for the lads mags?

Posted: **Tue Jan 14, 2020 10:16 am**

This the weirdo that hangs around with her ex and his mrs

Posted: **Tue Jan 14, 2020 10:19 am**

Hopey1786 wrote: ↑
Tue Jan 14, 2020 10:16 am
This the weirdo that hangs around with her ex and his mrs

yea making genital smelly fragrances,it could be quite fun.wonder if they do a bellend fragrance?

Posted: **Tue Jan 14, 2020 10:41 am**

'The origin story of the name is pretty goopy: Paltrow and perfumer Douglas Little were working on a new fragrance and Paltrow suddenly said, "Uhhh...this smells like a vagina." '

According to the OP's link.

Reminds me of WW2 radar on RAF bombers:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H2S_(radar)

See 'Etymology'. Someone said about it's delay into production that 'it stinks' and so it was christened H2S - Hydrogen sulphide - rotten eggs or stink bombs.

Posted: **Tue Jan 14, 2020 10:51 am**

Steve1956 wrote: ↑
Tue Jan 14, 2020 10:19 am
yea making genital smelly fragrances,it could be quite fun.wonder if they do a bellend fragrance?

One or two on here Steve have already patented that one

judging by replies to some posts

Posted: **Tue Jan 14, 2020 11:04 am**

It all sounds a bit fishy to me

Posted: **Tue Jan 14, 2020 11:30 am**

houseboy wrote: ↑
Tue Jan 14, 2020 9:27 am
So it's not gonna smell like the toilet seat on a Grimsby trawler then?

Maybe on a Sunday morning.

Posted: **Tue Jan 14, 2020 11:48 am**

Gwyneth is probs one of those women that doesn’t even poo, unlike say Madonna who famously requested a fully private toilet facility in her Glastonbury rider due to previously dropping a huge log and clogging the backstage bogs at a concert venue .Though for someone who openly admits to drinking their own p1ss it’s not surprise . Gwyneths is no doubt some scented amber nectar from the goddess Aphrodite or suchlike

Posted: **Tue Jan 14, 2020 11:54 am**

AlargeClaret wrote: ↑
Tue Jan 14, 2020 11:48 am
Gwyneth is probs one of those women that doesn’t even poo, unlike say Madonna who famously requested a fully private toilet facility in her Glastonbury rider due to previously dropping a huge log and clogging the backstage bogs at a concert venue .Though for someone who openly admits to drinking their own p1ss it’s not surprise . Gwyneths is no doubt some scented amber nectar from the goddess Aphrodite or suchlike

I cant get the image of Madonna sat on the bog trying to depart with a huge log out of my head now,I can almost see her face grimacing

Posted: **Tue Jan 14, 2020 12:23 pm**

Lets hope there is no lingering smell of the tree hugger chris martin on her candle

Posted: **Tue Jan 14, 2020 12:38 pm**

Fanny smelling candles are not a new idea. They were very popular in convents at one time I hear.

Posted: **Tue Jan 14, 2020 1:14 pm**

She's either going out with a Sommelier or she is lacking one of the five senses. Or more than likely both

Posted: **Tue Jan 14, 2020 1:16 pm**

Could add a whole new dimension to strip poker;
'... Call your Vagina Candle and, raise you The Wick-er Man...'

Posted: **Tue Jan 14, 2020 1:21 pm**

JohnMac wrote: ↑
Tue Jan 14, 2020 1:14 pm
She's either going out with a Sommelier or she is lacking one of the five senses. Or more than likely both

I’ve always found that some are sommelier than others

Posted: **Tue Jan 14, 2020 3:12 pm**

This is the out cum when you burn the candle at both ends

Posted: **Tue Jan 14, 2020 3:20 pm**

Maybe her fanny smells like wax.

Posted: **Tue Jan 14, 2020 5:01 pm**

Steve1956 wrote: ↑
Tue Jan 14, 2020 11:54 am
I cant get the image of Madonna sat on the bog trying to depart with a huge log out of my head now,I can almost see her face grimacing

Perhaps they’ll bring out a “ celebrity bumhole” airfreshner range? where you can impress friends and family by secretly spraying the bathroom with the erm “ after dump aroma of your chosen celeb “ and when they there say ” Feck me Steve whose been in here ?” You can nonchalantly tell them “ oh it’s just Madonna again she can’t half lay some cable that lass” ...

Posted: **Tue Jan 14, 2020 5:52 pm**

Lay some cable

Posted: **Tue Jan 14, 2020 6:49 pm**

You are all a disgrace and should be ashamed of yourselves.

Fancy discussing such matters on a footy forum. Dear oh dear.

Posted: **Tue Jan 14, 2020 6:50 pm**

I'll always hold a candle for her. Just didn't realise she'd want me to hold it "there" so it picks up a whiff of her

Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow

Re: Gwyneth Paltrow